Empowerment

[battybattybats]

Crossdressers have self esteem issues too, possibly moreso. Fear, insecurity, timidity, powerlessness, doubt and all the other issues women often face are ones that in our own way us crossdressers often face. And we often have feelings of shame guilt and internalised transphobia too.

So lets have a discussion on transgender/crossdresser empowerment.

What and/or who inspires you? What helps you feel better about yourself?

[Emily Ann Brown]

What helped me the most was having others who knew and didn't care which way I presented around them.


Emily Ann

[Karren H]

Some Crossdressers do.......... Guess I'm lucky because I have never, ever felt bad about myself..... Nor insecure... Fear... Hell ya... It goes with the hobby!! Lol. But a little fear is a good thing.. Being fearrless leads you into situations you can't control....

I'm me no matter how I'm dressed and if someone doesn't like that its their problem, not mine!!! The way I see it, I can do anything I set my mind to.... In which ever gender I'm presenting.....

:)

[JoAnnDallas]

Between my wife now accepting me, my Tri-Ess group, the three forums I am on, and all my CD sisters, I no longer feel bad about myself or afraid.

[Cayce]

First and foremost is my wonderful wife. She's been (and continues to be) my biggest inspiration and source of empowerment. Her love and support has made it possible for me to finally be who I am without being afraid.

Finding such a great forum as this has also been a huge help in realizing that I am not alone and lots of other people have the same desires and experiences. CD.com has also been a big source of empowerment.

Lastly (but certainly not least), seeing people like Eddie Izzard, not being afraid to embrace and be who he is, being "out" and highly visible in mainstream media and being accepted by a mainstream audience - that's a huge thing, and a big inspiration to me.


:D

[docrobbysherry]

U can't imagine how lonely it was in my closet, before I discovered this site last year! Oh, rite! Maybe u can!

[Rikkicn]

Thank you for such a great thread. I would like to have more discussions along the lines of being our best selves and who we get there.
Feeling at home with myself and comfortable and safe has taken my a long time. Years, actually. For me it came little by little with the occasion ahhhh moments.
The ahhhh moments tend to come from breaking a barrier of some sort like having Thanksgiving dinner with my new in laws, 12 of them, in a restaurant. After dinner all the women, mother in law, two daughters in law, a niece and me all in the women's room. They all acted as if I belonged there too.
Being, scene, witnessed and accepted and then loved for who you are will do it every time

[vivianann]

I have realized that when I am out in public presenting as a woman that when I hold my head high and show confidence, and act like I belong peaple react to me positively, as Vivian I have alot of confidence, and I feel like I belong.

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Batty,

These days, I’ve come to love and embrace my crossdressing without any guilty feelings, however, it wasn’t always this way.

Many times in the past I had euphoric feelings when dressed in something girly, only to then be racked with guilt about it later. The demon in my head would say to me “you shouldn’t be fanning the flames,” “this is not normal behavior for a guy,” or “this is wrong, and if anyone finds out you’re going to be in big trouble.”

There were several things that changed this type of thought process in me. One was (and still is) my wife Marla, another one was this forum ... or rather the people on it sharing their thoughts, feelings, and recounting their activities. When I found out just what everyone else was doing I started to ask myself "why not me as well?".

My wife Marla became a willing therapist to me. Admittedly she likes a feminine partner and she wanted to encourage me, but her main focus was helping free me up of feeling guilty about it and be happy with myself. She would say things to me like: "girl's clothes suit you and you should be wearing them if you want to" or "if you want to wear lingerie you should ... you can't go too far with underwear."

My point is, it's all in the mind. Once you realize that you are you own worst enemy and you find that "trigger" that starts off down the road of thinking differently, you'll never look back.

The main trigger for me (strange as it may seem) was thinking that the only true constant that is in my life is that "I will always be with me". Things that I think are always going to be around in my life like my house, job, car, family, even my wife "could" change at any moment. But as long as I am alive "I will still be with me" am I making any sense?

If I think about this and also about my own mortality, and about the true impact of that phase "it's only once around the block". I started to realize that it was me, and only me, who can make me happy. Because at the end of the day, I am the person who is responsible for my own life, and any happiness in it.

I think I've said enough (maybe too much) but we have to get past that sticking point and truly realize what is really important in our lives, and then go after it before it's too late ... and of course, it's different for each of us.

[Ayame]

Crossdressers have self esteem issues too, possibly moreso. Fear, insecurity, timidity, powerlessness, doubt and all the other issues women often face are ones that in our own way us crossdressers often face. And we often have feelings of shame guilt and internalised transphobia too.

So lets have a discussion on transgender/crossdresser empowerment.

What and/or who inspires you? What helps you feel better about yourself?

My girl friend helps a great deal since she accepts me and since she does that helps me feel good about myself. As for the guilt I never really have it when I dress I usually get it soon as I take the clothing off I think to myself why was I doing that. However as time goes on I get that feeling less and less which is good because why should I let things like the media dictate my life.

[Patrice]

I dont do as much as some of the ladies here do, but what I do I am very public and rather unapologetic about. What empowered me to do this was a combo of a tragic event and a simple realization.

My mother died suddenly of cancer at the age of 56, 6 weeks from diagnosis to her passing, this event left me questioning every single 'fact' or assumption about life in general.

I came to realize that if you live your life solely for the expectations of others, always looking first to others needs rather than your own, you WILL eventually lose yourself and in a certain, solid sense cease to exist as an individual. I resolved that wasnt going to be my way any longer.

SO now 'empowered' I live my life for me, meeting my own desires and expectations, no cares who notices what. My life, me. If they dont like it thats their problem.

Final note, another lesson, just because the only permission or forgiveness you truly need comes from inside - it doesnt make it any easier to get.

[LACD]

I believe the biggest thing that helped me was being open with my wife. We were married pver 30 years before I fully came out to her. As mentioned, I was living in fear and self-resentment. She has really surprised me and now she is my best friend. My fear factor is way down, but my life is a lot better now. Also, this forum has helped tremendously. I have learned so much from everybody here. One can only hope that this goes on forever.

[NatalieBliss]

This site actually helped a lot (and continues to). There are many many awesome role models on this site that made me start to think "I can be happy with this part of me". I am not just talking the MtF side of the isle either, IMHO there is much inspiration found in the FtM and GG populations on this site, even for us MtFs.

[deja true]

Having had no, none, nada support from anyone close to me, all my inspiration has come from or started with the folks on this site.

Thought provoking mentors to help me with the difficult job of starting to accept myself as a male with a pure love for the feminine, not a man with a problem with women...

Live action heroes who walked the walk and told us in detail about the triumphs and the pitfalls of just getting out there. And how they overcame their own fears and guilt...

Gentle and persuasive good hearted women who know that inside some men is a kindred spirit of warmth and gentleness instead of a barbaric, belching slob...

The jaunty and brave and committed F2M's who are, in the big picture, so much more committed to their true selves than the great majority of our sisters here. Who DO live their fierce lives one day at a time...

And finally, all the girls and boys and women here (with only a very few exceptions) who can be serious as a heart atack when it's necessary, but still show great good humor in the face of trials and discrimination that can threaten to bring their lives down in a heartbeat.

You know who you are..:<3:..and you're all teaching me who I really am, too.

[Emily Anderson]

I feel inspired by the people here who are out and about, and still have the patience to post their experiences for the benefit of others.

I'm not talking about those who are here to show off, or push everyone to be out of the closet, but rather those who have a real passion for helping other CD's to come to terms with themselves.

It would be so easy to just disappear into the world as a CD and not care about those who have been left behind, but happily there are a devoted few who really help us on our way, and I'm very grateful to them.