MtF or FtM?

[Emily Anderson]

OK, I know I'm going out on a limb here, but I'll ask the question anyway :)

Reading through some of the posts about people dressing in male or female attire (or androgenously), and adopting mannerisms of the opposite sex, I suddenly wondered if TS's are sometimes mistaken for the opposite of what they really are?

That is, have any MtF's ever been mistaken for an FtM, and vice versa?

This could equally apply to crossdressers, not only transsexuals of course, but I didn't see a forum that addresses both MtF and FtM crossdressers.

[Cai]

I have been, on occasion, but I suspect it's due more to ignorance of the existence of FtMs. I got told once that I was doing a really bad job of looking like a woman once, after I told the guy I was transsexual - trying to explain to him that that was rather the point was like talking to a brick wall.

[John]

I've been asked which way I'm transitioning when I came out. Sometimes people can't tell which gender I am, asume I'm trans, and then can't tell if I'm ftm or mtf (ocasionally acumpanied by mouthfulls of abuse).

[CaptLex]

That is, have any MtF's ever been mistaken for an FtM, and vice versa?
Not that I know of in my case, but I get a lot of "is that a boy or a girl?" looks. And who knows what they decide I am 'cause they don't voice their assumptions to me.

I was mistaken for a lesbian for many years before I started transitioning, and now when I get "ma'am"ed I assume that's still the case. :idontknow:

[Sharon]

That's one thing that hasn't been said to me yet. :)

[DemonicDaughter]

...if I'm a GG that was mistaken for a MtF CDer?

[Emily Anderson]

DD,

Yep, that counts too.

[Kieron Andrew]

...if I'm a GG that was mistaken for a MtF CDer?

i know lots of GGs who have been mistaken for MtFs and MtFs mistaken for GGs.....:heehee:

[DemonicDaughter]

DD,

Yep, that counts too.


i know lots of GGs who have been mistaken for MtFs and MtFs mistaken for GGs.....:heehee:

Well, I should have been expecting it seeing where I was and how I was dressed. It wasn't that I looked like a man but I think dressing up as "Ginger" from Gilligan's Island and then parading around NYC with a troupe of professional female impersonators WILL lead one to believe I might be one of them. LOL!

Oh! And a few have mistaken me for a MtF on here but that's okay. I still love ya'll :hugs:

[John]

i know lots of GGs who have been mistaken for MtFs and MtFs mistaken for GGs.....

I get mistaken for a GG all the time :heehee:

[Emily Anderson]

Folks, the question is about MtF's who are mistaken for FtM's and vice-versa.

I'm sure there are plenty of MtF's who are mistaken for GG's and FtM's who are mistaken for GM's. That is not the point! Please read the intro.

Thanks!

[Valeria]

Folks, the question is about MtF's who are mistaken for FtM's and vice-versa.
I've never had it happen to me (people don't assume I'm trans in the first place), but I've read fairly often of trans females being mistaken for trans males, and vice versa, so I'd guess it's not that uncommon an event.


I'm sure there are plenty of MtF's who are mistaken for GG's and FtM's who are mistaken for GM's.
Since this is in the transsexual forum, I'd argue it's not a "mistake". I am female. People perceive me as female. That's as it should be. I refer to it as being gendered correctly.

Anyway, the point is that some of us get perceived correctly - such as a "GG" or trans female being perceived as female. Some of us get perceived incorrectly - such as a trans male being perceived as a butch woman or a trans female (MtF). People whose gender cues are ambiguous or mixed tend to confuse strangers, and for some of us their guesses can be highly variable. This confusing state isn't that uncommon for people mid transition, and it can sometimes last for years.

[C.J.]

Online, when I tell people I'm trans, they assume MTF until I tell them I'm FTM...and then most are like "FTM? I didn't even know there was such a thing as an FTM transsexual" and then I try to explain that it does in fact go both ways, MTF and FTM.

In person though, I'm read as butch female...Even with binding, there's no way to hide my breasts because of their size. :doh:

- C.J.

[DemonicDaughter]

Online, when I tell people I'm trans, they assume MTF until I tell them I'm FTM...and then most are like "FTM? I didn't even know there was such a thing as an FTM transsexual" and then I try to explain that it does in fact go both ways, MTF and FTM.

In person though, I'm read as butch female...Even with binding, there's no way to hide my breasts because of their size. :doh:

- C.J.

And I heard the reduction is more painful than implants! When I went to find out about the surgery to help ease my back pain they told me in detail what they would do. I stopped the doc about half way through and said, "I'll live with the backaches, thanks." My heart goes out to you guys. :(

[Rachel Morley]

Me personally ... no. But my wife has a "thing" for drag queens and so sometimes she likes to dress a little bit more "dragy" at certain TG/CD events ... you know, just for fun. There have been plenty of times where she gets complimented on her look and especially her voice and has had to gently "burst their bubble" by saying something like ... "err sorry honey, but I'm genetic!" :D LOL!

[SirTrey]

When I was still trying to be a girl (though I am FtM), I was on quite a few occasions mistaken for an MtF crossdresser.

[Alys]

Back in my teenage days I'd often be asked if I were a boy dressing in girls clothes, or a girl trying to LOOK like a boy dressing in girls clothes :3 So I guss that's a yes.

[Danni Bear]

quite often i get addressed by the opposite gender i just smile and let them think what they will
never give up your quest to be who you are only you know that female or male doesn;t matter only you have to live your life

[mister-mason]

I've not yet gotten 'sirred' with a straight face in public (even when wearing a dress shirt, tie, and blazer, with my hair gelled down flat), but in trans situations nobody I meet seems able to believe I was born female, which leads to some interesting conversations based on them assuming I'm a femmy born-man.

It's an odd sort of in-betweenness. I think perhaps MtFs and other ladies on that spectrum are used to seeing masculine-faced people (and my bones are very masculine; Dr. Zukowski would 'fix' several things about me if he were going to make me look like a woman) with femmy body language, and that's about where I am. I am TRYING to get rid of the layers and layers of socialization and overcompensation, but it took me 20+ years to get here, and it'll probably take me more than a few months to get back to my 'genuine self,' whatever that is. :->

-- The Newbie Known as Paul at Be-All 2008
(who is working on a permanent name)