Outing yourself

[Jenny Doolittle]

I read with interest about Putz outing her husband, but are any of you slowly outing yourself? Over the past year or so I have felt a need to be who I really am, and in the fulfillment of that need I have done things to my outward appearance to represent myself as Jenny. I have grown my nails, plucked my brows, and have taken to wearing Jenny's clothes out everyday in our community. Now I am not going full tilt, just wearing girly jeans or a top that could go both ways, But I guess it is how wounderful it is making me feel inside.

My wife has been tolorant of my slow transition although she is not supportive of Jenny. This seems like a slippery slope but I sure feel good about being true to myself.

I guess I am asking if others have been through this and relate their own experiances.

Thanks,

Jenny:):o:daydreaming:

[karynspanties]

I would be happy with being able to under dress without worrying whether you can see an outline of a cami or bra under my shirts or if some lace is sticking above my waistband of my pants. I underdress 24/7, but am fully aware of what I wear under my clothes. In the trade that I work in, it would be brutal if a few certain people found out.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I know what U mean Karyn, but just the chance that someone notices the panty line, or bra strap is so exciting because I think deep down I do want to be recognized as Jenny

[jamie55]

Hi Jenny: My wife is also not very supportive although I wear skirts and heels around the house frequently. She is what I call immune to it, i.e. doesn't like it but able to fight it off. I think we all show a predisposition to out ourselves. Some more than others. It is a risk versus reward kinda thing. The older you get the less risk and greater reward for being true to yourself.

[Nikki A.]

I too have been more open (maybe uncaring) about who knows about me. Yes I pick who I have told. But I've been underdressing more, I have gone out to clubs dressed and like I posted earlier am going to a commitment ceremony next month all dressed with a co-worker & her husband. I've also been invited to a future girls night out time & place TBD. Do I pass, probably not, but if I'm having fun and not bothering anyone who cares.

[TSchapes]

I outed myself to my hairdresser or 10+ years. Here is the link to that post:

I Outed Myself Today (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1305039#post1305039)

Love, Tracy

[Steveo]

i to am getting more daring in my female display, i don't wear dresses or skirts out, but the female jeans and tops that i wear are becoming much more overt, and i am feeling at ease walking in the street, there are always going to be the fwits who make snide remarks, but you know i'm now feeling that it's not my problem but more about the person making the remark,i dont acknoledge the remark and inwardly smile to myself, and move on. over the years i've always hit on myself cringed with the thought someone would find out, it may be age and the time spent dressing but now i dress for myself and feel a hole lot better for it. :)

[Amy Hepker]

Jenny you may want to be careful with your wife. She may just all of a sudden take off. You just never know how she really feels inside if you do not talk to her or listen to what she is saying. I had it happen to me and it will turn your whole world upside down real quick. Talk to her and find out how she really feels and listen to her and find her bounds, if you cross them you could be in for a big surprise. As for outing yourself, I am doing that to myself lately at work, kinda by accident, I wore a T-shirt that was a creme color and a White Bra under it. Well, I did not realize you could very planely see it. Now how did not know, Do know now. No real big deal, I am not treated any differently.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Steveo,

It is like I wrote your comment myself

Jenny

Thanks for the advise Amy about my wife. I try to have her open up about dressing. Sometimes she is kinda fun and joking about it all, and sometimes she feels I have crossed a boundery and she is not happy about it. I agree communication is really key, I would love for her to come here and read, learn and participate, She would discover we are NOT freaks but simply different.

Jenny

[Lois1234]

I too am finding that i'm more daring with my femme side these days. My nails are quite long and i wear a pink glaze polish on them daily (to work too). My ears are pierced, my brows plucked, my hair is sholder length and styled, and i shave my legs, chest and arms. All that said, i have not had any real negative feedback from friends and familly. Some ask why and i simply say it's because i like it. I showed my boss a few pictuers of me dressed up last week and she is totally cool with it. On friday i attended a "Princess House" party with the rest of the ladies in my neighbour hood and we had a lot of fun, nobody mentioned the way i dressed and was totally accepted. As was posted above, i dress for me and am very comfortable with it.

Hugs, Lois

[Jenny Doolittle]

Lois,

That is so cool! I wish you all the best. Perhaps this year I will be where you are?


Jenny

[traceyanne]

i myself have been outing myself gradually, maybe dropping hints and joking with certain people, although my wife like to keep it secret she sometimes does the same. ive have told plenty of people in my workplace, some dont beleive but they all can see the smooth arms, eyebrows and well kept nails, perfume etc. bra straps and the outline of lace panties have all been noticed by quite a few people with no bad reactions

[Kimberly Kael]

I've also been outing myself a step at a time. After nearly twenty years where I only let girlfriends in on what little I knew about myself at the time, the past two years have been a revelation.

I started with piercing my ears around Christmas 17 months ago and have been wearing a variety of earrings ever since. I haven't worn anything dangly to work, but on the weekends? Absolutely. I've also been wearing femme pants and carrying a purse to compensate for the lack of pockets. I'll complement these with a wide variety of feminine tops, some eye makeup, and shoes that range from subtle girly sandals to overtly feminine boots. My nails are generally painted - sometimes with a french polish, other times with simple clear or sheer pink shades. I doubt there's anyone I see on weekends who hasn't noticed the overtly feminine choices, and I've talked openly with some of the staff at my favored spa, and to servers at some of the restaurants I frequent.

My work attire has been my most conservative with very few femme tops, no purse, no makeup, and my most subtle shoes. My nails are still polished and my earrings are still feminine styles, but I'm trying not to completely out myself there until I'm really ready to talk about it and have a few more answers about how I want to present myself at work.

First up? Friends and family who live out of town, but are important enough to me that I don't want them to find out from someone else. I've started explicitly outing myself here and will have talked to those closest to me by the end of the year. I've already tackled a few but it's a very emotional, slow process. It also feels great to be making progress.

[DanaR]

I understand that outing yourself should give you more freedom, if everyone that knows accepts what you are doing. But if your wife or family isn’t happy with it, and co-workers have problems you could find yourself outside without a job or family. If you have a plan, work toward that plan, but realize that not everyone will share your dream.

I’m not trying to create a controversy, but I’ve seen a lot of girls just throw their whole lives overboard. I have several friends that came out at work, one was let go for other reasons (but probably would still be working there if she hadn’t outer herself), the other is still working there but isn’t as out as before. You have to ask yourself, what will I give up and what do I want out of life? If your wife is a little accepting, if you take baby steps she might go along with it more.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Thanks for the advise Danar. My wife is at best a little accepting, mostly because she knows this is a part of me and we DO love one another. Little steps are what I am taking.....and I do look good taking them. LOL


Jenny Do

[Kristen Marie]

I think there has been a lot of good advice given. My own experience has been a slow one after 34 years of marriage. But its baby steps along the way. I am in no rush.

It has only been this past year I have worn panties every day and there has been no real push back. I am hoping that this year I can openly wear a cami on occasssion. Just this past week she chided me that my panties were too dark for the light pants I was wearing. Thought that was a major step. And one night on vacation we wore the same panties and she liked that. I'll take those little victories any time!

[kerrianna]

I'm fortunate that my partner has been very supportive and understanding, but I think she had to see how seriously transgendered I am and to know how vital this is to me to really relax, more or less, about what I do. Her main worry is that I may attract violence to myself, but I've always been targetted even as a male and learned a long time ago how to head things off and how to be super cautious when I need to. But I am aware of the irrational hatred out there.

So for me what has happened is a fairly slow (I guess...altho when I think about it it's been under two years) transformation of my look in public, after having gotten very comfortable being myself at home. That in itself was something I took in a few steps, until I was dressing 24-7 at home and Carol got used to that fairly quickly. That in turn led to not so many guy clothes around for me and a real unfamiliarity wearing them, so when I do have to wear mainly drab I feel like I'm crossdressing. Pretty much all my tops are women's tops. My nails are always done. My hair (where it exists still) is past shoulder length and I use Carol's straightener to make it more feminine. I usually use lip gloss or lipstick, and always feminine scents. Quite often I wear pretty jewellry. So it's not like I try to hide it.

And that's been kind of a growth over the past year. Every step I take I know I won't be going back. There are a couple of hurdles I will make eventually (I think) that will catapult me completely over the fence, but for now I'm in genderblending land.

So what's been really interesting is... no one seems to really notice too much!
I've told a number of my coworkers over the past year I am TG and they all say 'oh we didn't really notice what you were wearing etc." I'm not sure I believe them, because I've seen their eyes go to my nails, or the lace of the cami poking out under my top, etc.... but they never say anything or treat me different. So maybe we just think everyone notices these things because to us it seems big. We look in the mirror and fret and wonder and that's all we can think about, and it turns out everyone's so involved in their own lives that they aren't seeing beyond their own noses.

So it's gotten to the point where I'm getting pretty cavalier about it all. Where once I worried about the cami showing, now I'm just going out, because it's what I'm wearing. I guess this is how you build courage and learn to live free in who you are. :)

[JoAnnDallas]

My wife outed me to a SA in the shoe store Saturday. We were looking for a pair of heels for my Prom outfit and when the SA asked my wife for her shoe size, wife pointed to me and told the SA that she should ask me sinse the heels were for me not her. BTW, the SA did not bat an eye or anything.

[CD Susan]

I too have been slowly outing myself for the past six months. I am comfortable wearing womens jeans and tops out in public. I really like flashing my long and clear coated nails at SA's. The only reaction I get is smiles and that makes me feel good. In the summer I always wear womens shorts and low cut socks and have never recieved a negative comment. I think most people are just not observant enough to notice and those that do just don't care.