Being "sexy."

[celeste26]

It seems that the standards of many of us CD's includes the ideal of being "sexy." Granted, not all of us work toward this standard but I read many times this adjective being used.

When GG's dress "sexy" it is for the primary purpose of attracting men, whether or not it is consciously done is hard to prove. The makeup and clothes if done in this manner draw the men's attention to certain parts of their bodies in the hopes of finding a partner (either for the night or longer). As guys we've been trained from early youth to look for this in a woman. No I am not suggesting a "****ty look" at all but we all know the look. Social standards (if we pay attention to them at all) indicate that a 'good' looking woman includes this in her wardrobe. I would suggest that most CD's have a preponderance of these type of clothes in out wardrobe.

But as 'straight' CD's if we pursue this "sexy" look are asking for attention from the guys, whether we consciously desire that attention or not. I suggest that most of us would claim we are not looking for that attention, yet our ideal of women's clothes is such that we tend toward this look anyway. We define good looking women is this way, so if we want to look good (enfemme) we will fit this description, and by extension fit in with all the other good looking women.

Am I completely off the hook here or is there something to this question.

[Lisa Rose]

I think it all about a 'feel good' state, sensuality, not sexuality.

[Kate Simmons]

Nope,you are not off the hook Celeste. It's part of what I call the "CD mystique" and the two-edged sword many of us play with. The question is, okay if we look the part are we willing to play the part? If we do look good we will indeed attract men and should be prepared to deal with that. This may be a good confidence builder for some but it could also end in potential disaster if not played right. The "game" is the game in any case. This is why everyone knows up front who I am so there are no surprises and sometimes it takes a bit of finesse to play the cards right. I play with the sword, yes but mine is a katana which is single edged so I control which direction the blade is going.:)

[Tomara]

Hi Celeste , I agree with Lisa , My crossdressing is not done to be sexy it is part of who I am as a person . I am sure all crossdressers have different feelings and desires about there degree of dressing . I guess what I`m trying to say is some like it mild and some like it wild and that decision should be a personal one not what someone else thinks or says:) Tomara

[carolinebrookes]

I'm with the others on this. I dress for myself and myself only. If it is viewed as "sexy" by someone else then I'm okay with that. I look at some gg's and think that they look sexy, but I'm not going to act upon it due to that.

Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

[Claire3]

Claire dresses for no-one but herself,thankyou:)

[docrobbysherry]

I think this subject has been explored here before. On the " dressing ****ty, etc." theme. On this topic, there seems to be a deep chasm dividing closet CDs and those that go out dressed.

Those CDs that go out, unless clubbing with friends, seem to prefer clothes that do not make them stand out. Safer, and hopefully they'll pass.

While closet CDs often prefer to dress hot, ****ty, over the top. Because, (as many said above), we only dress to suit ourselves! We have no fear of attracting strange men, OR of not passing!

[CharleneT]

As others have said, I dress for myself. However, if I were to attract a man while dressed, I would consider that a great compliment !! In fact I would love it.

C.

[tommi]

I like to dress sexy for me, I stay in so I don't have to deal with others.
But it is risky business for those who wander out especially to clubs.
Something that I won't have to deal with if I stay in my closet.

[Donna Michelle]

I wear sexy clothes, because I like how they look and feel. I do not do it for anyone else, especially because my wife is NOT attracted to men in women's clothes. Well, she says that, but I know she likes glam rockers like Poison.

My wife wears sexy clothes, because she likes how they look and feel. She had sexy clothes when she was single and no one saw them. She is proper and polite for her job, but she can hide her wild side and leopard bra and panties under her business suit.

No one else sees us in our lingerie, but we wear sexy underwear or nightwear. We like them. We can wear them without even thinking about them. Or we can think about them and enjoy them.

My wife and I don't wear overly sexy clothes to attract anyone. We wear nice clothes and sometimes clothes that are fun. I don't think all CDs think they have to dress "to the extreme", but there are some who do. Sometimes it is a phase as they experiment to see why they dress and what they like.

One of my CD friends thinks most of our clothes are "conservative", but I dress up to go shopping for food and clothes during the day. I may be with my wife and/or son and I don't want to dress like I am looking for a date. I am NOT trying to attract men, so why would I dress "too sexy" for my errands? Of course, my friend IS looking for guys even if "she" is married! Her wife doesn't know about anything "she" does!

I do see your point, though. I kept asking my wife for bigger breasts. After buying me the size 8 enhancers, my breasts are now bigger than hers (but I am taller and fatter than she is). Guys stare at my breasts which happen to be in their faces since I am 6 feet tall without heels! I didn't deliberately do that to attract men, but I do get great service at Home Depot! Ha ha. I just wanted to look "okay". I will never look passable, but as any woman would do, I do my best to look good.

[adelle]

may i say that WE ARE ALL DROP DEAD GORGEOUS AND DAMM SEXY does not matter how or with what we dress we are all sexy in our own way and should be proud of it. :daydreaming:

[tommi]

A side note I wonder about at times when I'm trying to get my wife to buy a
sexy or even cute outfit to wear when we go out and she just won't.
I find that I then want to atleast buy it for me bcause it's cute or sexy and
I just have to have it.

[Di]

When GG's dress "sexy" it is for the primary purpose of attracting men, whether or not it is consciously done is hard to prove. The makeup and clothes if done in this manner draw the men's attention to certain parts of their bodies in the hopes of finding a partner (either for the night or longer). As guys we've been trained from early youth to look for this in a woman.
I totally disagree with this statement..........I think that is what a man thinks the reason a gg dresses sexy. Truth be known a woman gets attention from men .. no matter WHAT she's wearing.
And women dress sexy to feel good about themselves Mainly it's part of who they are AND sexiness is important to them and they want to show that.

[Sylviatg]

I seem to be in the minority here. Maybe with CharleneT? But I like to attract men! So, I dress to look sexy, but not ****ty. I also dress to please me. Still, I like men! :o

[c_colliertv]

Hi - Christie Ann Collier here!

I always dess like the girls and women I have been attracted to in my life - classy, fun, with strappy heels, short skirts, and a wholesome but not prudish look.

When I look in the mirror, what I see is what attracts the male me in real life, and that really turns me on and gives me a rush.

The other part is that I am 65, and I love the idea of using makeup and fun girlie clothes to look younger (at least in my own mind's eye).

Hugs,

Christie Ann

[Deanna2]

When GG's dress "sexy" it is for the primary purpose of attracting men

I believe that this comment is so far from reality you can't be serious. Women dress so-called 'sexy' because they want to feel good. Look good - feel good. Men do it also for the same reason. Even CD's have been known to do it.

It is a perception of men (many whose arms dangle too close to the ground for their own good) that women will wear certain clothing just because they are on the 'prowl'. For example a woman wearing something 'Décolleté' is highly fashionable nowadays. I think on some women that a décolleté blouse is very sexy - downright provocative. But it doesn't cause me to think she is on the make.

[yms]

Celeste -

I think it's perfectly legitimate to ask why crossdressers dress the way they do. But your comment that women dress in a certain way primarily to attract men. draw attention and so on is a gross generalization. At best you can say that sometimes, some women dress to attract the kind of attention you suggest, but it's not the case that anytime you see a woman dressed "sexy" (sexy is in the eye of the beholder) that she is doing for the benefit of men. Maybe she just wants to feel attractive for the sake of feeling attractive.

You are right when you say men are "trained" to respond to this, but let's face it. Men are trained this way by other men, through sexualized images of women in magazines and movies. Men would have a very different outlook if they were taught by women how to treat and respond to women.

I don't think you can talk about why women dress the way they do and why crossdressers dress the way they do in the same conversation. They are two completely different issues.




It seems that the standards of many of us CD's includes the ideal of being "sexy." Granted, not all of us work toward this standard but I read many times this adjective being used.

When GG's dress "sexy" it is for the primary purpose of attracting men, whether or not it is consciously done is hard to prove. The makeup and clothes if done in this manner draw the men's attention to certain parts of their bodies in the hopes of finding a partner (either for the night or longer). As guys we've been trained from early youth to look for this in a woman. No I am not suggesting a "****ty look" at all but we all know the look. Social standards (if we pay attention to them at all) indicate that a 'good' looking woman includes this in her wardrobe. I would suggest that most CD's have a preponderance of these type of clothes in out wardrobe.

But as 'straight' CD's if we pursue this "sexy" look are asking for attention from the guys, whether we consciously desire that attention or not. I suggest that most of us would claim we are not looking for that attention, yet our ideal of women's clothes is such that we tend toward this look anyway. We define good looking women is this way, so if we want to look good (enfemme) we will fit this description, and by extension fit in with all the other good looking women.

Am I completely off the hook here or is there something to this question.

[Angie G]

I don't go out where people can openly see me as to tell I'm not a woman almost all my dressing is at home where just the wife sees me some time I dress sexy and somewhat to the ****ty side but it's for me and I like it. :hugs:
Angie

[jaina]

When GG's dress "sexy" it is for the primary purpose of attracting men, whether or not it is consciously done is hard to prove.

Your right, but attracting the LOOKS from men, not necessarily atracting men.


But as 'straight' CD's if we pursue this "sexy" look are asking for attention from the guys, whether we consciously desire that attention or not.

Those that are strait and use this look are mostly trying to create a physical manifestation of their own fantasy woman.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I agree.

I love to feel sexy and I know I will get attention from men and some women too. Now that I am going into more public places I notice some of the reactions of people and know that for the most part some of it is just plain no comment or acceptance.

I do enjoy have the doors opened for me when dressed. I also for myself dress in a manner to make me feel good.

In the pursuit of looking sexy; we will have attention anyway since most of us do dress differently than allot of women such as dresses, skirts and heels.

[CaptLex]

When GG's dress "sexy" it is for the primary purpose of attracting men, whether or not it is consciously done is hard to prove. The makeup and clothes if done in this manner draw the men's attention to certain parts of their bodies in the hopes of finding a partner (either for the night or longer).
What about the ones that dress sexy to attract other women? :raisedeyebrow:

[KandisTX]

sexy is a state of mind :)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[RobertaFermina]

Well I do see women as sexy, and I find women who choose to develop their wisdom and unique gifts as sexier still.

No wonder I should seek to emulate what I appreciate about women.

As amazing human beings.....and sex objects.

The fun is finding a way to walk the line between, or walk with both humanity *and* sexiness/sensuality.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[CD Susan]

For the past 40 years I have only dressed at home and only to please myself. The result of this is that all of my clothes are what could be looked at as sexy, provacative, and even downright ****ty. Everything I own is designed for someone half my age and up until now that has been just fine with me. Only recently have I made the decision to leave the closet and to come out to the rest of society. This has made me realize that my entire wardrobe is inappropriate and needs to be replaced. There is clearly a place for sexy clothes and also a place where wearing what is practicle is apppropriate. This is something that did not occur to me before making my decision to come out. I need to go on a major shopping spree.

[boy2girl31]

I don't know where I fit in this disscussion as per other awnsers but I find that I dress in a way that I see gg's dress but only if I find them attractive. I find that my cd ing makes me feel better about me and the more attractive I am the better I feel. I have found that gg's do this too when they look good they feel better about themselves and who doesn't want to feel good?

[Lisa Rose]

What about the ones that dress sexy to attract other women? :raisedeyebrow:

That's an interesting comment, Captain, it's something I'd never thought about. Is this really the case? Also, is it dressing sexy or attractive? Which brings about other questions. What is sexy? What is attractive? Aren't the answers the same? It's individual.