Self-consciousness

[Emily Anderson]

The other day I bought some new male shoes, and as I was walking down the street I noticed how they sounded very much like ladies heels. It was a bit disconcerting, and it got me thinking about self-consciousness. In this particular instance it was amusing, but if I had really been wearing heels it would have made me somewhat nervous.

I'm sure many of you have been in a situation where you are feeling self-conscious, and hear a sudden burst of laughter from a group of people, or a stranger walks up to you to ask for directions etc. I can well imagine that if you are dressed up as a female, this combination of self-consciousness and random events must be quite frightening, even though the two are in fact unrelated.

Thoughts?

[VirginiaX23]

I feel that way when I am under dressing! My wife recently had cosmetic surgery and has had to wear a constricting garment for some time. She finally was able to take it off and I promised her I would spend a day wearing it to garner some kind of sympathy for her for her discomfort (and that garment was especially uncomfortable in the crotch, which opened rather harshly...I should have been wearing panties under it, but if I was, I couldn't use the bathroom at all without removing the whole thing, which would have been quite an affair). I was wearing a sports bra underneath the garment so the straps wouldn't bit too hard into my shoulders and, as we went from place to place during the day, I felt like everyone could see I was wearing this thing (not the bra, but the garment). I talked to my wife about it and she laughed that even if anyone noticed, no one cared. She said people were probably more inclined to notice my earrings than the faint lines of the garment through my shirt.

I sometimes get the feeling that people just don't care as much as they used to about the things people wear or do to themselves. I hope this is true and our world becomes even more liberal about self-expression.

[Emily Anderson]

Hmm, only one response :-(

Either I was stating the obvious, the question was badly phrased, or nobody experiences a heightened sense of self-consciousness when dressed en femme?

To set the scene, I sometimes even feel self-conscious when I'm at home alone with the curtains drawn... Maybe I need to get a life! :)

[Andi]

Emily, I think for those of us that are deep in the closet, it is stating the obvious. My heart races when the doorbell rings and the times my wife is gone to a meeting and I have no clue when she's actually coming back. My least anxious time is at night after she's asleep but I can't dress as fully then as I would like since I'm downstairs. I wear polish on my toe nails so I'm also self conscious about keeping my feet covered when people are around me. And lastly I have to be careful about what I say or how I say things that tip off my feminine feelings and interests. Maybe Virginia is right in that most people don't care, but those close to me would surely care and not approve. Eggshells?? Yes, most of the time around here.

[Fleur]

The other day I bought some new male shoes, and as I was walking down the street I noticed how they sounded very much like ladies heels. It was a bit disconcerting, and it got me thinking about self-consciousness. In this particular instance it was amusing, but if I had really been wearing heels it would have made me somewhat nervous.

I'm sure many of you have been in a situation where you are feeling self-conscious, and hear a sudden burst of laughter from a group of people, or a stranger walks up to you to ask for directions etc. I can well imagine that if you are dressed up as a female, this combination of self-consciousness and random events must be quite frightening, even though the two are in fact unrelated.

Thoughts?

Hi Emily, sure you get a little like that when you first start out in public. I dont mind now though. Its just something you get used to and dont really think about. I guess everyones different though.

[Sarah...]

From my experience each baby step forward generates another burst of self-consciousness. Once this has de-sensitised another baby step forward seems inevitable. I often wonder where I might get to before I can't overcome the self-consciousness anymore.

Sarah...