how do I get her to do it???

[maidvicky]

My friend Lynn is a person I've always confided in....she has seen me in various modes as my dressing has taken different paths.

I want her to take a more active role in our time together as "Vicki" but don't know how to ask her......

I don't want to lose her support but I think that what i want may be more than she wants to give????

Any ideas???

[MJ]

This may sound odd but why don't you just ask her . your words " I want her/ you to take a more active role in our time together as "Vicki" "

you never know until you try it's that fear of the unknown . you just have to trust it will work out

[Donna Michelle]

You remind me of when I wanted to be more than just friends with the person who is now my wife for 12 years! You can settle for what you have now or you can ask if she is also interested in more. If she isn't, you can accept it or be persistent. My wife was not interested in me at first. In fact, my late wife wasn't interested in me at first, either and we were married even longer until she died.

I can understand your fear of losing her or feeling awkward. But maybe she feels the same way. You can try dropping hints or just come out and ask. It does not work to rehearse. When I met my wife, nothing came out of my mouth right. It was embarrassing! She looked into my eyes and knew what I meant. She still does that. It is possible that she already knows how you feel and she is waiting for you to ask. At least I hope so.

[maidvicky]

thanks for your support !!

As you well can relate too.... she's a very beautiful women who has MANY options besides me.....and my "kinks"....

But with that being said,she has NEVER judged me or my [hobbies]!!..... just always said kind things.....[doesn't like the schoolgirl look though !!!! LOLOLOL]

Maybe it's just time to come clean with her....

little bit scared though....

Vicki

[Sandra]

Vicki

Just ask her because if you don't you'll never know if she's willing, and just maybe she wants be more active but is afraid of asking.

[Donna Michelle]

Vicki, my wife is 17 years younger than me. When I met her, she was young, thin (36-26-37), beautiful and intelligent. She was a cosmetics manager in a local pharmacy and had the most beautiful long, thick hair.

I was middle-aged, fat and bald. I did not finish school and package meat all day. Why would she date me? When I met her, we were at a car show and there was a group of men hitting on her. The lines they used were terrible and didn't impress her. One guy said he "had condoms in the truck just in case" and she added "your hands get chapped" and rolled her eyes.

I watched her for weeks. One weekend, I washed my 1967 Mustang fastback and it started to rain. I decided to go and hoped it would stop raining or else she may not go. It didn't stop raining, but she arrived in her Chevy and since there weren't many people there, she talked to me!

I was so nervous and spoke like a total idiot! She looked into my eyes and thought to herself "This guy's eyes are saying - don't listen to my mouth. I have no control over my actions.". She told me about it later. She also recalls her sister doing imitations of me talking like "a dork".

Watch her eyes and stare into her eyes as you talk. You can talk a foreign language and your body talk will tell her how you feel. My wife stares at my eyes and reads my mind. It is wild!

My wife said that Cher sang "It's in his kiss", but that is not true. She was not impressed with my kiss which came after we were engaged! She believes the eyes are the windows to the soul. That is why I need to tell lies on the phone! Ha ha. (Don't tell her I said that. Actually, she already knows. She reads my mind. Oops.)

[Joanne f]

What the others have said is right, just ask her,
If you don`t you may spend the rest of your life without what you want and wondering what might have been, but if you ask you might get what you want, and if you don`t get it then you can at least say you tried.






joanne

[Holly]

Vicky, I agree with the rest and think you should ask if she is willing to help you explore this part of your life.

Please forgive me for reading a bit between the lines, but I get the impression that you are looking for somthing more than a "friend" in this woman. Maybe the two of you have more to talk about than you think.

[KarenCDFL]

Go ahead and talk with her. What do you have to lose?

And remember to bring Flowers... Girls love Flowers! :love:

[DanaR]

It looks like everyone agrees, talk to her.

[Lara Smith]

What is that you want from her that you fear is more than she wants to give?
She may want to give you everything your heart desires. If she is already okay with who and what you are, I'd say go ahead and talk to her. The worst she can say is she wants things to remain as they are. The best? Who knows?

I once told my wife's best friend, who was also one of the best employees we ever had, and a person we were both very close to in different ways, that that I sometimes enjoyed dressing and role playing with my wife. She wasn't the least bit shocked. She said, "That sounds like fun." Now maybe she already knew because she and my wife were so very close. Maybe she knew another way. Maybe she just took it at face value. I will probably never know the truth. It was a very complicated and multi faceted relationship. She lives in another state now. But whenever she comes to visit, she somehow never fails to interject the subject of panties into our three way conversations at least once while she is here.. Wasn't wearing any when she went to the doctors office who was a "hunk”, or "I was wearing panties" when she did so and so.

I think it has always been her way of telling me she was okay with what I liked, and intrigued with it, without violating her bond with my spouse.

So, tell her.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Donna,

What a beautiful story.

Vicky,

Take a chance on life........U will love the ride

[DonnaT]

Do you want to spend time as "girlfriend Vicky" or as "maid Vicky"?

[Jilmac]

Vicki, I can tell you what is working for me. I met my new SO last October (after my wife passed away), and told her after our first date, that I was a crossdresser. She has been very encouraging and supportive, but is not ready to become an active part of my lifestyle. It is working in baby steps, little by little she is becoming more accustomed to my dressing and I believe that eventually she will be totally involved. This coming weekend she will be attending Pridefest with me in Milwaukee. Pridefest is a three day festival celebrated by the LGBT community. I'll be attending two nights. The first night I will be in drab with her, and the second night I will be enfemme with my tg friends. I'm satisfied with the direction my relationship is going, and I'm sure that if you take yours at a slow easy pace, your SO will be an integral part of your crossdressing experience. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[AmandaM]

Do you want to spend time as "girlfriend Vicky" or as "maid Vicky"?


That is a good question. In what manner do you want to get to know her. Does she seem receptive to the maid thing? Hmmm...

[linnea]

I agree with others who have said, "Just ask her." It sounds to me as if you have a good relationship and she already knows that you crossdress. I think that the big question you need to answer is the one about what it is that you really want. Make that as clear as you can and be open to her responses, questions, and needs/wants.

[DemonicDaughter]

..for there may not.

[krisla]

I told my wife and she was supportive, but has never participated. Sounds like a downer, but in retrospect it has been good. She is a great wife and I love her dearly, I found help elsewhere with other ggs and tg freinds. I was not happy at first but I was able to cope and I have no guilt she knows and let's me be Kris with my other freinds

Good Luck Kris

[rickie121x]

Live like there will be no tomorrow... it has been said so many ways, but very clearly in this thread.

On the other hand, there will most likely be a tomorrow. I have lived through so very many of those tomorrows - alone and lonely and wishing it were otherwise. There were brief interludes when it was otherwise, delightful and exciting, with a SO that understood and could enjoy my crossdressing - oh that was so wonderful! But I am 73 years old and can count those special years on the fingers of one hand.

In most of those in-between years, I had to be comfortable with myself - which as I look back was an extremely important element in having a life worth living. Now living with ones-self is a quantifiable notion - sometimes it's good, sometimes otherwise. I have had way too many years in the otherwise mode.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have gone to ten-thousand more places, approached so many more females, been honest about my crossdressing as soon as possible, and very likely enjoyed many more good years. It is like a coin toss! If you don't toss it, you can't win - but you will definitely lose!

I give to you all my encouragement to be straight, just as soon as you are able.

Rickie :battingeyelashes:

[Donna Michelle]

Rickie, I wish you could speak to my mother. She is 81 and won't talk to me since I recently came out to family. I have been crossdressing for over 50 years. I was lucky to have TWO wives that supported me.

There are plenty of older crossdressers for support, but it isn't easy to find another SO for a relationship. I totally agree with you. Like they say about the lottery, you can't win if you don't play (gamble).

I really did have a lot of "out" time compared to many of you. I would have loved to do it more, but it was not as easy before the Internet to find people and places. Things are not perfect, but they are much better than before.

Vicky, I am anxious to hear how she reacts. I don't think you will lose her as a friend, if you ask. My wife had friends who wanted to be "more than friends" and she continued to be "just" friends with them. I have met some of them. She treated one like a little brother. Just do it!

[maidvicky]

Well girls I did it!!

I read all your replies and got the couarge to talk to her about all this.

SUPRISE....it didn't work out the way I hoped it would but I found out some interesting insites though!!

I'll have more time for details tomorow...

At least she didn't run screaming into the nite !!!!

love,Vicki

p.s.- you are all the BEST !!!

[Elizabeth2-]

Communication is the key. Perhaps she needs to go think about it. LOL