Not a Good Night Out

[cd_britney_426]

Last night was the sixth time I have gone out enfemme and it was the worst ever. Sorry for the long story but I have to vent. I don't spend hours of my time getting ready to have to deal with dangerous, violent, and threatening behavior from nutty people. Anyway, I get ready by shaving my entire body again, fixing up my eyebrows a little bit, and I put on a cute green dress which really shows the shape of my body and it cuts off above the knees so it shows my shaved legs. I also wore my 4" heels which are still something to get used to. As before, I was heading to a TG-friendly club. This is a club with a lot of gay men as well as MTF transgender people. Most of the TGs are actually transsexuals and some have had breast implants, some the SRS, but most fully pre-op with no surgeries at all. There are also crossdressers and drag queen performers who put on a drag show for the audience. There are very few GGs there.

I wasn't feeling good earlier that day and was considering canceling Britney's night out but as the sun started going down, I began to feel better so I decided to go ahead with it. Well, I almost didn't make it to the club because some drunk or drugged person was walking down the middle of a major street who I nearly ran over with my car at 45 mph. The idiot wasn't even crossing the street, he was walking down the middle of the lane. That sure would have ruined the night had I hit him. So I get to the club and the crowd was not healthy both physically and mentally. A large number of the other TGs are there working the bar for the purposes of prostitution. Most of the men were extremely unattractive, overweight, and were at least 50 years of age or older. I am in my early twenties. I'm constantly having to ward off these sickos who want to start feeling up my legs. On the bright side, I was able to strike up a couple of intelligent conversations with a couple of guys who were of course much older and in their 50s. They were not trying to pick me up so that was fine.

Then there were these two T-girls in the women's room who were acting crazy and were aggressively trying to find out how I padded my breasts and I told them not to touch my outfit and they even try to block the door to keep me from leaving. Turns out five minutes later, they start beating each other up and get thrown out of the bar. I got tired of the beer I was having and didn't even finish it. A male friend I have seen there a few times was interested in dating me for the night. So I agreed to bring him to his place. I figured maybe something good for the night would happen. Yet, I cannot even leave the bar with him without all the other T-girls watching and getting jealous and causing problems. So I told him to just keep a low profile so nobody would think anything was up. As 2:15 am approached and they were getting everyone out of the bar, a couple of T-girls whom I've known before insisted I give them a ride to another bar. No matter how many times I say "No" they get aggressive and almost threatening. I already did the smart thing by parking several blocks away from the bar so nobody would see me leave and so I could slip to it when needed.

So finally I have to watch for when the "coast is clear" and I told him where the car was parked and had him go first and then I followed second. While no bar patrons saw me leave, a bunch of "clients" for these prostitutes begin to circle the bar in their ghetto pickup trucks probably thinking I'm a prostitute. It takes less than one minute to get to the car yet immediately there are a whole line of trucks following me and then making U-turns and repeating the process over and over. Once I make it to the car, they then pull over and just sit in their trucks watching. So I take him to his place and we go inside but then from the parking lot to the door, I have to battle my way through endless crackheads and bums wanting a handout. Welcome to Phoenix, Arizona. Anyway, long story short on this sub-story but we fooled around a little bit but I felt kind of bad because things with us just didn't click as well as they should have and I believe that I was the one mostly to blame. I was very moody the whole night and I think I disappointed him because I didn't stay long and I told him I'm not going to be dressing up enfemme anymore for awhile and I am also going to stay away from the bar also for awhile. He didn't seem upset or anything but could tell that I was experiencing the bad energy of the night in general.

The worst part of it all came when I pulled into my apartment complex expecting an empty parking lot and a place I could go to for some peace and quiet. Instead, there was a 20-man fight in the parking lot. Literally. Multiple fights were taking place with multiple people in all directions. Beer bottles were being thrown and blood was flying. Here I am crossdressed and cannot even get out of the car and to my apartment without having to go through these sick animals. In addition, there were dozens of onlookers who were equipped with bags of potato chips and cans of beer enjoying the fight and cheering various members on. I was concerned that someone might throw a bottle at me and at this point I was really POed. I didn't care whether or not they all knew that I was a guy in a dress. I got out of my car and walked right through them and past them with a purse in my right hand and a pistol pointed downward in my left hand and I made sure they all saw the gun. Not very lady-like but I really didn't care at that point. I went in my apartment and called the cops and quickly changed into my guy clothes and removed the makeup. Numerous people were arrested but interestingly enough since I could also see it from my apartment window, as soon as they saw the gun, all of the onlookers immediately left the area and the fight for the most part was breaking up at that point. So I guess a crazy lady drove them off. The police had no problems with my actions even though the criminals told them about the gun.

So much for a night out. I am new still to crossdressing and want to go out and have a good time but it seems like there is never any normalcy. Just idiots, drunks, crazies, and troublemakers everywhere. I am not a prostitute and I am not looking for trouble. I just want to have fun, meet intelligent people and have good conversation, and maybe have some level of intimacy. I'm not sure where that can be found or if it can be found. I live in the fifth largest U.S. city and all I seem to see is cultural bankruptcy in every direction. Likewise, I shouldn't have to feel like my life is in danger when I get dressed up. It's horrible! :thumbsdn:

[Karren H]

WOW!! That is really crazy... I just go out by myself... to the mall or shopping or dining, movies.... or to a local casino and never have had a bad experience or any experience like you had........

[Sweet Jane]

and I wonder why I don't go clubbing????....I'll stick to the shops, parks and beaches I think? I prefer to be nowhere alcohol is really

[Genifer Teal]

Once in a while we have a bad nite. I've had soooo many good nites, they far out weigh the bad ones. I bet at the club you went to, most of the other girls were hookers. In those situations, they usually don't like us cause we give it away free - more or less. This cuts into their potential profits for the nite. For many of those girls that is their only source of income. Of course they will be over protective. They were sizing you up (and almost feeling you up) to see what you had to offer (potential clients). They might have tried to follow you to scare you off from returning. Be glad you got home safe. Try a different place next time.

Gen

[jennCD]

Wow,... sounds like you may consider moving out.... how about someplace a little more um,.. laid back?

:)
jenn

[Michelle S]

Check out this group: http://www.tgharmony.com/ .

I don't live in your area, so I can't endorse this organization, but from its website it looks like a much healthier place to start.

[Alice B]

Wow! I think it's time for you to move.

[DanaR]

Wow, I've never had anything that was even close to your night out.

[docrobbysherry]

That sounded like an episode from a TV show. Except on TV, it would have happened to a GG, instead of a TV! Lol

I have no suggestions for u, just for me. "Stay in your lovely, safe closet!"

[Julogden]

Sorry to hear of your horrendous night. I'd say it's time to move and also time to find a different bar to frequent. Hanging out in a bar where the girls are working is just asking for trouble.

Hang in there!

Carol

[NatalieBliss]

I think that is the most understated title to a thread ever. Glad you made it through alright, aside from the bad memories that is. :hugs:

[Stargirl]

Make some friends, and get together in a better environment. Expand your horizons. When I got tired of the bar scene in my younger days, my friends and I would go to the airport and watch planes take off. We would sit in a VW bus,and get ripped. We would wear strange clothing, and talk about everything imaginable. Naturally, there were some hallucinations, but we were among friends, after all. :drink:
Please don't give up. For every nightmare, there are 500 dreams.

[trannie T]

One of the first rules of survival whether or not you are wearing a dress is, if you find yourself in a difficult situation get out of there as quickly as possible. Hanging out with the hookers and walking through hostile crowds with a gun are good ways to find trouble.

[Michelle (Oz)]

What a horrendous experience. Sure reinforces why I stay in the mainstream and away from clubs. Just 2 brief incidents in dozens and dozens of outings.

Michelle (Oz)

[Rachel M]

Maybe you should head over to Mesa and meet up with Bre and her wife. I used to live in Az and never had an experience like that. Wow.

[vivianann]

I have been out enfemme hundreds of times and have never experienced anything like that, however I do not go to bars, there is nothing there for me, plus I avoid men, I do not want to be groped by them, and I do not like men, plus when you mix alcohol into the scenerio nothing but trouble will happen. I avoid those places. When I go out enfemme I usually go to stores, such as walmart, K mart, convenience stores, the mall, restaraunts, and friends houses. When I am in Vegas I like going to the casinoes enfemme. I have gone to parks enfemme, and also museums enfemme, and I always have wonderful experiences. The part of your story I do not understand is where you talk about culural bankruptcy, I do realize that may be true, however you were in a place where cultural bankruptcy abounds, that is why I avoid such places. I am surprised that someone had not called the police on the fight at your apartment parking lot, and you do not walk through a crowd with a gun, that is asking to be killed, I am sorry this does not make sense to me, if I drove up to a parking lot brawl, I would have called the police on my cell phone, and I would not have walked through the crowd, no way in hell. :straightface:

[Emily Ann Brown]

My worst night consists of a drunk wanting me to have a drink with him.

And I agree with the others....I go shopping and to the park, or over to spend time with friends. I would move and leave that particular club scene alone.


Emily Ann

[LisaElizabeth]

I have to agree with a few of the others... You nedd a better apartment!!! So does your male friend!!
I mean having a bad night at a dance club/ bar is one thing, but all the other stuff, is a sign that the neighborhood you and your friend live in are goind downhill.
re-evaluate where you could move to that would at least eliminate the late night fights and having to walk through 'drug Alley' on your way to and from your home.
Lisa E

[Melinda G]

Thanks for sharing. Makes me feel real good about myself.

[TxKimberly]

I'm with the others that said it may be time to move. The trouble you ran into had nothing to do with cross dressing and everything to do with the palce you went and the place you live. And no, I am not some wealthy person who can afford to just pack it all up and move on a whim either, but it sounds like your risking your life where your at.

[kimberlyt221]

I'm also with them, move girl move. To a place where you don't have to carry a pistol with you.

[Butterfly Bill]

Like I always say: Avoid drunks and darkness. Have days out rather than nights. (And look for a better apartment.)

[cd_britney_426]

I really appreciate everyone's advice here. I have discussed the apartment as well as the bar with numerous friends. I have gotten a similar consensus. In terms of the apartment, the general advice has been to either move to a better area or just keep a low profile. I have many friends in apartments who have also seen a lot and unfortunately you can move to a "nicer" place and the same thing happens there. As to bars, many of my friends have said to stay out of them period and that it is better to have get-togethers at the house or in places where alcohol is not the primary tool bringing people in. I really don't understand it all myself. I have to wonder what is happening with people. I appreciate everyone's support and I will take this advice into consideration and make some necessary changes to ensure better safety and enjoyment in life. Obviously, you can't enjoy an evening out when you are having to deal with criminals including the other crossdressers who are running a prostitution enterprise out of a bar. Britney

[RobertaFermina]

I am SO GLAD that you are OK!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Katelyn]

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience. Hopefully there won't be one like that for you again. It's always a good idea to go out with a friend and never alone. Hopefully, you won't let this experience keep you from having fun.

[Angie G]

There must be a better part of town you could go to and matbe even move to. :hugs:
Angie

[Carly D.]

In the first part of your post where you said the room wasn't very well both mentally and physically I think that should have been your clue to just turn and leave.. if I would feel that way I would have left.. you say that was your sixth time going out and while I've never been out I can only imagine.. while I was reading the post all I could think was what I would do, and being a chicken of sorts, I would have left at the first sign of being uncomfortable.. as far as when you got back to your home I think as well there that I would have driven by and waited till the party was broken up by either the law or attrition.. they can't fight forever..

[cd_britney_426]

I have not been out dressed since then but am planning on doing it again tomorrow (the 4th) or Saturday or possibly both. I'm not going to let one bad experience ruin what I have come to enjoy (CDing). However, this time I will need to have my guard up as well because it is the 4th of July weekend and of course the amount of drunks and crazies will be even more. I haven't really planned it out yet but perhaps there is a better bar to go to or I might go somewhere with a TG friend or something. As to my apartment complex, the place has been unusually quiet and normal following the incident. Not a soul in the parking lot at night, no police, and no trouble so I'm assuming that management and the law took care of the problem. The intention of spending time shaving, getting dressed up, and putting on makeup which takes quite a while is to go out, feel good, and have an enjoyable time. I don't think I'm a beauty queen but I have gotten some compliments. Obviously I have to have a level of normalcy to have a good time. I mean I can tune out or ignore some idiots or troublemakers but not if the entire bar is full of them and then more show up to my house. Hopefully no problems this time. Thanks for everyone's support. :) Britney

[Cristi]

I already did the smart thing by parking several blocks away from the bar....

...It takes less than one minute to get to the car...

Wow, you walk FAST!

[LilSissyStevie]

Back in my drinking and drugging days we called that a "good time.":drink::devil:

[Claire3]

Wow,thats some bad experience.(understatement).I think a move to an area and change of bar where carrying a pistol isn't needed as well as dealing with these situations would be a good move.Or stay in.

[Sheena Pink]

HI Brittney, I know of the bar you were talking about. Bre visited it once when she first went out and was turned off by it. Too many working girls, no dance floor.
We usually go out to LA to have fun, they have a great TG bar there on Saturdays called Club Shine.
If we go out here in PHX, we'll go to a goth club, we've been to Tranzylvania, they were very accepting, and I do believe Bre was the only gurl we saw that night. It's on Friday nights at the Palazzo downtown. (I believe we are going out tonight in fact.) If you ever want to meet up let us know, if we're home, we're always up to going out! :D
About the crazies, I think you'd find them in any metro area, though there are some areas that have a higher concentration.

[pinkeverything]

I have a different spin on what is happening. Certainly you could move. Obviously, you can avoid going to a bar. However, the real problem seems to be drugs. Methamphetamine and Crack Cocaine in particular.

I am not from Pheonix, but I have done research on the topic and it is widespread and has the same results everywhere. The gay lifestyle and gay bars are notorious for having high rates of addiction. This is not news to you if you are in your 20's.

The problems my generation had (I'm 37) were entirely different, but notsomuch that we didn't witness the arrival of the drugs. Certainly these drugs were around prior to my adulthood, but it was very limited. To even hear the word Cocaine was almost foreign. Nobody I knew had even seen it. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I say it myself. Methamphetamine wasn't even in our imaginations.

Now we know better, but the younger generations are exposed to it all at such young ages that it is almost comfortable for them to experiment at very young ages. Certainly we experimented as well, but not with anything like Crack or Meth and anything else was outrageously expensive. Even a 1/4 of weed cost 120 bucks back then, now it's almost free. These days with Crack and Meth, the first hit IS FREE because it's the first one that gets you.

That's really it in a nutshell in my mind. What we had was a bunch of beautiful personalities that would have been pleasant and kind for the most part, enjoying the evening, perhaps had a bit too much to drink and got beligerent. What we have now is are hordes of people hooked on drugs that make them super aggressive and super DESPERATE. They feel no real pleasure, just pain. It's a real tragedy.

[Marvina Martian]

Hey gurl,

Sounds like you are living on the west side.....I know that most of the crazies/gangs/ whatever, seem to live on the west side of PHX.....!

We typically hang out on the east side/Scottsdale/Chandler/Mesa when going out so as to minimize the drama that we have to encounter.

So as far as going out, like my wife Sheena said, Tranzylvania is a great place to go. http://www.tranzylvania.net/main.htm
We CDers are very welcome here and there are a ton of people there just dancing and having a good time. No Drama!

In fact we were contemplating on going out this very night and since there could be a chance that some other gurls would like to come we will definitely be there! We love meeting new people!
Our plan is to meet there at 10, so anyone who would like to join us is more than welcome. Just wear black and you will fit right in!

If anyone is interested in coming just PM either of us and we'll make arrangements to meet up....


XO Bre

[Raquel June]

Well, that sounds like it was an exciting night :)

All the shady bars I've been to check your purse on the way in. If I went to that place, I'd get one of those garter-like thigh holsters.

And I certainly agree with everybody else saying you should move. I just moved because my car got broken into twice at my last place. If Friday Night Fights meant going out to the parking lot and watching a brawl, I would've moved sooner.




Check out this group: http://www.tgharmony.com/ .

I don't live in your area, so I can't endorse this organization, but from its website it looks like a much healthier place to start.

The OP sounds like more of a party girl -- she likes going out to clubs, having fun, drinking, and potentially hooking up. I doubt a TG support group that meets in a church is something she'll see as a viable alternative to a bar.



...We would sit in a VW bus,and get ripped. We would wear strange clothing, and talk about everything imaginable. Naturally, there were some hallucinations, but we were among friends, after all. :drink:

Oh, but that might be her kind of fun :)




HI Brittney, I know of the bar you were talking about. Bre visited it once when she first went out and was turned off by it. Too many working girls, no dance floor.

Eek! A bar full of hookers and tranny-chasers is one thing, but no dance floor?




I am not from Pheonix, but I have done research on the topic and it is widespread and has the same results everywhere. The gay lifestyle and gay bars are notorious for having high rates of addiction. This is not news to you if you are in your 20's.

Huh? You can't just go grouping all gay bars together anymore than you can group all straight bars together. I've been to many gay bars and many straight bars, many of which were even in the bad part of town, and the honest truth is that I've always found less potential addicts and more people capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation at the gay ones. I've been to sports bars (in drab) in seedy neighborhoods with parking lots full of rusted out pickups with NASCAR bumper stickers that you would assume would be full of a-hole rednecks, when in actuality it was a great, friendly crowd. I've been to up-scale bars that were full of jerks and actually did have people looking for drugs. It has nothing to do with the gayness or straightness of a club.


The problems my generation had (I'm 37) were entirely different, but notsomuch that we didn't witness the arrival of the drugs. Certainly these drugs were around prior to my adulthood, but it was very limited. To even hear the word Cocaine was almost foreign. Nobody I knew had even seen it. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I say it myself. Methamphetamine wasn't even in our imaginations.

Are you kidding? So you were in your 20's in the 90's. Well, the late 80's and early 90's was pretty much the peak of recreational cocaine use, and that's when everybody was bombarded by the War on Drugs and constantly told how horrible crack was and that you'd be an instant addict the second you took a hit. Even if you lived a sheltered life, it's ridiculous to say that the word cocaine was almost foreign. You couldn't turn on the TV without seeing Nancy Reagan talk about drugs. Unless you only watched Alf and The Golden Girls you'd have seen that most episodes of Miami Vice or TJ Hooker or Moonlighting or Hunter or Remington Steele were about drugs, and drugs even fit into a lot of Knight Rider and MacGuyver and A-Team plots. Kids thought drugs were awesome.

The truth is that these days they can barely give away cocaine. An 8-ball of coke is less than half what it was in the 80's, and nobody thinks it's cool anymore.

Now, meth is a different story, but that's much more prevalent with white trash (or just trash in general) than with the gay community. Meth makes you progress from paranoia to outright crazy pretty quickly, but more importantly it makes you smell bad and act kinda twitchy, which really isn't something that goes over in gay bars.


Now we know better, but the younger generations are exposed to it all at such young ages that it is almost comfortable for them to experiment at very young ages. Certainly we experimented as well, but not with anything like Crack or Meth and anything else was outrageously expensive. Even a 1/4 of weed cost 120 bucks back then, now it's almost free. These days with Crack and Meth, the first hit IS FREE because it's the first one that gets you.

I think you were just being overcharged for weed because you were in highschool ;)

[pinkeverything]

Huh? You can't just go grouping all gay bars together anymore than you can group all straight bars together. I've been to many gay bars and many straight bars, many of which were even in the bad part of town, and the honest truth is that I've always found less potential addicts and more people capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation at the gay ones. I've been to sports bars (in drab) in seedy neighborhoods with parking lots full of rusted out pickups with NASCAR bumper stickers that you would assume would be full of a-hole rednecks, when in actuality it was a great, friendly crowd. I've been to up-scale bars that were full of jerks and actually did have people looking for drugs. It has nothing to do with the gayness or straightness of a club.

Statistically, the gay/lesbian demographics have a very high addiction rate.


Are you kidding? So you were in your 20's in the 90's. Well, the late 80's and early 90's was pretty much the peak of recreational cocaine use, and that's when everybody was bombarded by the War on Drugs and constantly told how horrible crack was and that you'd be an instant addict the second you took a hit. Even if you lived a sheltered life, it's ridiculous to say that the word cocaine was almost foreign. You couldn't turn on the TV without seeing Nancy Reagan talk about drugs. Unless you only watched Alf and The Golden Girls you'd have seen that most episodes of Miami Vice or TJ Hooker or Moonlighting or Hunter or Remington Steele were about drugs, and drugs even fit into a lot of Knight Rider and MacGuyver and A-Team plots. Kids thought drugs were awesome.

I did watch all of these programs, which is where I became familiar, but did not encounter it in real life until much later. I am in Canada though.

The truth is that these days they can barely give away cocaine. An 8-ball of coke is less than half what it was in the 80's, and nobody thinks it's cool anymore.

Exactly, which has caused a huge rise in addiction. And, I didn't think that I was speaking of "recreational use". In fact I don't think that smoking Crack can be counted as "recreational", it's hugely destructive.

Now, meth is a different story, but that's much more prevalent with white trash (or just trash in general) than with the gay community. Meth makes you progress from paranoia to outright crazy pretty quickly, but more importantly it makes you smell bad and act kinda twitchy, which really isn't something that goes over in gay bars.

It's happening everywhere, I understand. Our youth in the gay bars here have a lot of trouble with it and much of it leads to prostitution.



I think you were just being overcharged for weed because you were in highschool ;)

True story.:battingeyelashes: But......it's cheap like Borsht here now.....and the potency of our Canadian bud is unreal.:D:D, but I don't indulge too often. It's mainly for guitar playing these days.

[pinkeverything]

Looks like I have to figure out how to split up the quotes better. That looks terrible. How do I do that?

[Raquel June]

Statistically, the gay/lesbian demographics have a very high addiction rate.

[citation needed]
;)




Exactly, which has caused a huge rise in addiction. And, I didn't think that I was speaking of "recreational use". In fact I don't think that smoking Crack can be counted as "recreational", it's hugely destructive.

No, I don't think anybody (who isn't an addict) consideres crack, meth, or heroine recreational. But I don't think coke is a very popular recreational drug anymore. I just don't see coke as being a club drug anymore like X. I guess it doesn't really matter.

My real issue with what your saying is that it seems somewhat irrelevant. When you're talking about huge populations like that entire gay community, the club scene, and addicts as a whole, of course there's an intersection. There is not a strong correlation, though. Now, with regard to the OP's experience, you'll see a very strong correlation between hookers and addicts, and the fact that there were hookers at this club means that there were probably addicts, too. But you can't just say, "there are a lot of gay addicts." Maybe there are more addicts on the seedier end of the gay club scene, but there are tons more addicts on the seedier gangster-wannabe end of the hetero community.

I mean, if you go to a bar with a cover and kinda pricey drinks, you're not going to see addicts. If you go to a bar with no cover selling $1.50 bottles of Bud Light where hookers are wandering around looking for business, you're going to see addicts. Whether or not it's a gay bar is irrelevant.




Looks like I have to figure out how to split up the quotes better. That looks terrible. How do I do that?

You just have to manually edit it to have open and close quote tags. It's kinda a pain.