Resources for SOs of FtMs?

[mister-mason]

I'm married, and have been for many years, to a wonderful man who is taking my 'recent revelations' (I only came out to myself as 'a transsexual' and not 'a weirdo with issues about gender' mid-March of this year, and to him immediately afterwards) about as well as I can expect, but I feel like I'm talking past him half the time, because his experience/problem/etc with all of this is so different than mine.

Are there other preexisting-SOs-of-us-folks who've written books, websites, etc, I could point him at? (Note, NOT My Husband Betty, I've read that book and its author creeps me out).

Support groups, other than PFLAG? Any ideas you kind folks might have are very welcome.

[Kieron Andrew]

There are alot of FtM authors out there, that he could read but many would be in the first hand perspective of the transitioning person...im not sure of many books specifically geared towards partners


here's some good titles i know of

Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green

Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey

The Phallus Palace: Female to Male Transsexuals by Dean Kotula

The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male by Max Wolf Valerio

Transmen and FTMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders, and Sexualities by Jason Cromwell

True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism--For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals by Mildred L. Brown

From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond by Morty Diamond

Both Sides Now: One Man's Journey Through womanhood by Dhillon Khosla

Self Made Men: Identity, Embodiment and Recognition Among Transsexual Men by Henry Rubin

FTM: Female-to-Male Transsexuals in Society by Holly Devor

Finding the Real Me: True Tales of Sex and Gender Diversity by Tracie O'Keefe

Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein

Transgender Warriors : Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman by Leslie Feinberg

When you've settled in...go do an intro for us to welcome you properly :D

[mister-mason]

Yeah, he's mostly not interested in the first-person-trans-narrative kinds of books, because the endless repetition of "YAY I feel right now omg this is so good and cool and YAY!" gets to him. As Jenny Boylan noted about her wife, this is totally NOT a joyous time for him, and I feel so bad about that. But I don't know what I can do to actually include him in my process, instead of just being a rushing freight-train towards transition that he can't affect.

I couldn't find the forum for intros for the longest time, but I've posted there now, so. :->

[Flameboy]

Here's a couple of ideas for you:

There's a book called True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism - For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley. I've given copies to my parents and to other family members, and they've all said that it's been helpful.

There's an organisation in the UK called Depend (http://www.depend.org.uk/), which is for family members, spouses, partners and friends of transsexual people. They run a Yahoo group specifically for the partners of FTMs. My partner is on it, and says that it's a good list - so your partner might like to try that too. Click to enter the site, and then click "Support" on the menu on the left to find the list.

Dave