About Tri-ess

[GypsyKaren]

My wife and I just joined the Tri-ess chapter here in Chicago, and I was wondering if any of you girls have any experience with them or perhaps an opinion. I just want to know what to expect, so any help would be greatly appreciated.
GypsyKaren

[stephanie1000]

Well everything i have heard is very positive. They have meetings for us women and also meetings for the wives on how to cope with us. HaHa any way like i said everything positive and they also have events that if able to attend are very beneficial. I just wish they had them closer to were i live in wisconsin. Good luck and have fun Stephanie :)

[lizbendalin]

It's an interesting group. Everyone needs to make their own decisions, and not all groups are for all people. I found it helpful to read Helen Boyd's comments on Tri-ess in her book My Husband Betty . IT helped me to see that Tri-ess in spite of it's many positive aspects had enough problems that it was not the group for me.

[Ophelia D'Void]

I've had great experience with the Tri-Ess, although I must admit that it's not for everyone. It's a great place to just go and be yourself, but they do have certain guidelines that they STRICTLY abide by (at least at the Los Angeles Alpha chapter I went to):

1) Nothing Sexual (fine by me)
2) Treat all members with respect (no problems here)
3) Straight Males Only, no Gays (more on this later)

The majority of the members were friendly and helpful, and we met at a basement meeting room at the Holiday Inn, which offered privacy, a place to change (or "transform" as they like to say), and when I went smoking was still OK indoors in California (this was in the mid 1990's). There are many CD's with their SO's (although in Tri-Ess nomenclature, CD's are called TG's), and everyone is nice and supportive. They even had a bit of a garage sale, where members brought some of their old fem clothes for sale at very reasonable prices, and there was even a woman from a cosmetics company hawking her wares and giving advice (although one TG did raise an interesting point, wondering if we needed to buy exfoliant if we naturally exfoliate when we shave our beards).

Reasons why I didn't fit in:

1) Age: I was in my late teens, early 20's at the time, and the majority of the members were 40 and above (the founding member for our chapter was there... Virginia, and I think she was in her 80's).

2) Stylistic Issues: I was just starting out in the CD scene, and I as a result I dressed in what I call "Neophyte ****", which is how we usually dress when we don't know any better. Alot of the other members were already old hands at the dressing thing, and dressed their age, or above. I think there may have been an unspoken rule as to dress code that I wasn't informed of, since everyone was wearing below-knee or ankle length dresses and sleeved tops. Felt like a hooker going to the opera.

2) The Gay Issue: I'm not gay (or even bisexual), but I was nervous and talked a best friend into going there in drag with me so I wouldn't feel alone. Unfortunately he's a bit flamboyant, and Virginia approached us, and said rather pointedly "you know, the Tri-Ess is for straight people only" or something along those lines... implying that I wasn't straight (kind of a let down being rejected by the only group you can identify with).

But otherwise it's a great organization assuming you're their kind of CD, and I'm glad that there's at least some sort of support group out there for crossdressers. They're kinda like a Knights of Columbus, or Shriners in drag.

Go and enjoy yourself, you just mind find that you like it.