CD Overdose and the return to 'Male" mode.

[Shiny]

Just finished another 4 day 24/7 stint in girl mode. I wanted to find my limit and to push my limit, and this afternoon I found I just couldn't deal with the heels, the forms, or the straps and garters anymore.

The neat thing now is that once back in Dockers and a shirt and men's loafers and Old Spice, I once again have that feeling of liberation. I feel like a guy again, a regular guy! Cross dressing is the farthest thing from my mind now! Is this how "regular" guys feel all the time? Man that's nice!!!

The ones without this curse? I am curious. That is why I sometimes push that female, dressing overdose thing as far as I can so when I return to the drab guy mode the feeling sticks around a little longer. I realize what I am and have learned to live with it but I wish it wasn't that way. I've never been caught, never even been suspected as being a CD but it has screwed up my life bigtime and has cost me many friends and intimate relationships because of my secret little "hobby."

After an overdose week in drag and in going back to who I really am I feel tired but relieved. I really enjoy the feeling of being a guy again and it usually lasts a couple weeks until I feel the need to "hit the silk" once again.

What do you older guys think about this? I'm not hassling you younger folks but life is a long road and you have no idea what is coming until you get there! Believe me it does get worse!

It might be hormonal changes with age or something else but the "true" guy mode seems to last a little less each time for me when I do a "mental" purge. First and foremost I am a guy, a hard charging alpha male but this CD thing seems to be getting more involved over time and that is a distressing thought even though I have come to grips with my "other" self. Any thoughts?

[_Sarah_]

Why to people refer to CD as a curse?

[Emily Anderson]

No overdose here, darling.

You need to learn how to integrate your femme feelings with your male ones, and not worry about which is which and what is what.

[Joanna:)]

I don't feel CDing is a curse - quite the opposite; I'm glad to have access to an experience that some people will never have :)

That said, I do get bored with it if I dress too often.

[_Sarah_]

You should not push away who you are it should be embraced. if you cant do that then you will only drive yourself mad.

You can only truly live when you can understand that. And by reading you comment it is obvious that you dont.

[cdjenny20]

Whenever I go on a business trip I always get a chance to enjoy myself in the evenings with dressing up and shopping. It's not a 24/7 thing like you did since I can't dress during the daytime. When I go home, I get a bit depressed since I don't have the freedom there to dress up anytime I want like I do when I'm travelling.

[Maria2222]

It's part of you. Why fight it? It won't go away. Why not try to accept it and integrate it into your lifestyle? It's worked well for me, but then again I'm not you.

[TeriAnn]

I have crossdressed since a very early age, I have not had any desire to stop for any reason. I only dress as a male when I have to,such as work or family functions. Even then I am wearing as much fem clothing as I can get away with without outing myself. You have to learn how to bring your two but equal lives together. I have tried to stop cold turkey only to have the feelings come back with a vengence. As I grow older I am comfortable with myself and what I love to do. I can't dress as much as I would like because I have a seven year old daughter whom does not know. I could tell her and maybe be able to dress more but it to much of a risk of family finding out. So I just live my two happy lives the best way I can Embrace who you are and what you like to do and then just have fun. :):):)

[jennifer41356]

"It might be hormonal changes with age or something else but the "true" guy mode seems to last a little less each time for me when I do a "mental" purge. First and foremost I am a guy, a hard charging alpha male but this CD thing seems to be getting more involved over time and that is a distressing thought even though I have come to grips with my "other" self. Any thoughts?"



nope, I cant relate to any of it, I love my fem side always have, always will:love:

[Cristi]

I can't manage to string together enough CD days in a row to ever 'OD' on it, though I can imagine it happening after about 3-4 days... after a while, the constant effort it takes me to look presentable would just be too much.

The closest I ever get to this now is when, after even just ONE long day dressed, it actually feels really good sometimes at night to kick off the uncomfortable heels and take the bra and pantyhose off.

[Nicole1]

Sounds like you are trying to "cure" yourself from the "Curse". You might try to just relax and crossdress when you feel like it and are able; and dress in drab when you feel like it. Personally, I prefer Fem clothing all the time. It is not practical for me to go all out 24/7; but I underdress to the max and then fully dress every chance I get. But anytime that I feel I need to; I can always wear drab. This is something that will not go away, so just embrace it and enjoy it!:)

Hugs,

Nicole:hugs:

[TGMarla]

It occurs to me that the female experience is very much less about garters, hose, and high heels than is the crossdressing experience. What you're coming off of isn't the female experience, but the CD experience. Women don't get overloaded on hose and high heels, because they don't bother with all of that when they don't need to. It's only in our fantasy worlds that they do. It's no surprise that you are glad to be back to what's normal for you. Remember that normal for women is a little different than normal for you and me.

But it's still cool that you managed to spend all that time en femme!

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have actually had this happen to me on the year I dressed almost 80% of my day after work. That year I dressed so much until I was burned out and took a month off and began cutting back, during that time I spent hundreds of dollars, I think I bought makeup every 3 weeks. So actually there is a point where one can get overwhelmed by dressing and we feel that we are losing ourselves in our female role so we pull back an each time you pull back you will find the time away gets shorter.

For me I find my experience as an enhancement. I also know if I dressed for 4 or more days straight I would not burn out I would have a hard time breaking it until I reach fulfillment which now it takes me 17 hours of dressing to reach it if I am out away driving around town which I did before. If I am by myself it takes days. I just never had a chance to see how far.

[Farrah]

I for one agree with it being a curse. Although its something i enjoy doing, but at the same time i think why me? Why did the pink fog choose me? Not to mention the secrets you have to keep inside. I havent told my SO, and i probably will not......no time soon, at least. Sometimes I wish I could just be a guy and not have this other person that wants to come out. I have accepted who I am, but sometimes its kinda hard being cd.

[lisa_e_love]

When I first started dressing again many months ago I dressed everyday for 4 days in a row. I didn't really get jaded on it. I guess sometimes other things get in the way or you start focusing on other things or a relationship eats into your time.

But what I find is that...not just turning back into a guy at the end of dressing feels relaxing if you "OD" but, ahem, being naked feels really good. After the bra and the panties and the hose and the makeup and the nails and the top and the skirt and the shoes are all removed you feel so free and liberated and I can just lie down and soak it all in.

But I love the feeling of being dressed. Don't OD on it if you get sick of it. I'd much rather have constant dressing in short stints than to OD on it, leave and come back later on.

[Pandora]

I hear where you're coming from Shiny. I'm in the same boat, although I really don't like thinking of it as a curse. Maybe a blessing in disguise? As it's now getting really hot out with summer here and I'm honestly just burnt out on CDing for the moment I am happy to be getting back to guy mode for awhile. This is not something I'm forcing myself to do, it's what I want to do. Isn't that what's important about accepting ourselves for who we are. Finding a level that is right for us and knowing it may change in the future.

For now I'm about ready to purge all my femme stuff. But only to storage because I know that feeling will come back sooner or later. Plus I've spent way too much money to flush it all away. We all have different levels, it's just a matter of finding what's comfortable, imo. :hugs:

[Mollyanne]

You mentioned "The Curse" of this wonderful thing called crossdressing, I find it to be the opposite. The curse would be the alpha male ego. I LOVE the female "thing", my female side has shown me that there are two sides to every query and that when I am in "fem mode" I can come to a better conclusion without the need to feel domination. If I could I would become the woman of my own dreams and stay in that mode forever.


:love: Mollyanne

[karinels]

i feel exactly like each and every one of you, at least at some time. cd'ing for me is an escape, yet stressful at times. i embrace it wholeheartedly, and work very hard to look femminine, but feel releived when i return to drab mode. but deep down, i love to dress. i dream about how much easier it would be if i were either smaller framed, or if i were just born a female.

i wouldnt wear hose so much cause id have clean shaven legs year round. being able to wear a size 6 skirt suit, instead of a size 16 blazer, with a size 10 pencil skirt would be great. having my hair grow 14 inches in a year instead of haveing to grow it for 4 years to get that length.

i dont know about the rest of you, but these are the things i think about, dressed or not. i guess i may want more than to be a cd, but then, thinking about how it may have been had things been different from birth, that thought creates fear and doubt at the same time. the realization that i will never look like i want, no matter how much surgery advances, keeps me grounded to being, well, me.

i guess my point is this. if anyone else in this world feels the same things i do and continues on day by day, then cd's, tg's, tv's, whatever we decide to call ourselves, mtf, ftm, anyone who struggles with any gender identity issues, well, to me, we are the strongest individuals in the world. to live a life knowing we are not what we want, and that only a minute few of us will ever acheive being 100% happy with ourselves, then this has got to be the most challenging lifestyle i can imagine.:hugs:

[AshleyCD]

I never have felt I have "OD" on CDing. I did find the first time I went out shopping en femme it was a hot day and having on a wig, body shapers and such that I was really hot once I got home, so I took off the wig and body shapers, left the bra/breast forms and skirt and such on. I really don't act different en femme, but I have never really been the alpha male, so I really feel more comfortable en femme as I can be myself.

I guess it comes down to some us on here see ourselves as one personality in either mode, but some find they are two distinct personalities, so for those people they can "OD" as they actually act differently when en femme. When I'm not dressed en femme, I'm wishing I could be even though I wear women's jeans all the time and stretchy tee shirts, even have some female tops that I can get away with wearing as a "guy".

So just switch back and forth as you feel fit as it sounds like you are of the two personality persona, unlike some of us that if it was practical would dress en femme every day.

[Sarasometimes]

I have to agree that CD is not a curse. Society's way of looking at it might be. I am a stay at home dad who has had to take care of 2 kids who have had some tough health issues. My wife has the health coverage and makes the bigger bucks. Now I am not suggesting stay at home dads are cders but I that having a femme side makes doing this possible. I needed the ability to nuture and care like a mom may.
I have a greater appreciation and respect for women. As for overdosing, I haven't had chance to try but do notice when I can indulge the need subsides for a bit. The more of a chance I have to submerge (longer time dressed) the longer the time before i feel the need. The one thing that can greatly shorten that gap is anything that brings it to the forefront. An example: i dress and get make up and spend a half day dressed. Change but into male mode, all is manly, then I notice a women sharply dressed or carrying a cute handbag or showing a bra sterap and almost instantly I get an urge to dress again. This is very unpredictable. My thought, thanks for reading.

[JoAnnDallas]

Shiny......If I had my way, I would go fulltime CD. Back in 2005 when I first came to Dallas, I had the chance to dress almost 90% everyday, 7 days a week for about 4 months. When I was not on a job interview, I would dress up in skirt/blouse, dresses, skirt suits, heels, makeup, wig, and jewelry. In the evening, I would switch to fem pants, fem t-shirts, and fem loafers. I was staying with my sister at the time and she did not even notice that the clothing I was wearing was fem. LOL When house sold and wife came to Dallas, I had to stop. I felt the opperist to you. I think I went into fem withdrawl. LOL This was back when my wife did not know about my CDing. I told her in 2007.

[Holly]

Sorry, no overdosing here. I've had many opportinities to dress 24/7 for days on end. Without exception, when the time has come to put away the skirts and heels, it has been almost depressing and certainly no feeling of joy or contentment by doning the more traditionally accepted male atire. Being dressed with makeup, hair, nice feeling clothing is like being at home. Going back to "male land" feels like being in a foreign country. Oh, well.

[Donna Michelle]

Can't say I've ever OD'd on CD'ing.

I never had enough time to be fully dressed for a few whole days. I have to be a man at work, so I dress at night and weekends. If I miss a weekend, I feel cheated. I missed a few while working on dirty chores, but I always wear panties and a bra. I can't imagine overdosing on CDing, but I would love to try!

[Kristy_Iowa_CD]

A lot of people have already commented on how you should embrace your CDing and that it isn't a curse, so I won't go there.

I would like to say though that if you have the opportunity to be en femme 24/7 for 4 days straight that is DEFINATELY not a curse. In fact, I really, really envy you!

[maid phylis]

i have never thought of being a cd as a curse and i will probably do it till i cant pull a stocking on anymore.:love:phylisanne

[christinac]

The only curse I have on me is not being able to be Christina when and where and how much I like. I'm looking so farward to the day where I'm out and into my own place and able to go femme 24-7 and never look back.

[janet p]

For the past couple of years I've been able to dress any time I wanted except at work. I don't feel it as a curse and I don't see how anyone could. As a child I was put down for it and made to feel as if I was a sinner and doing something wrong which I haven't fully gotten out of my mind yet but I have never felt that I have ODed on dressing when I've gone days in fem except for my feet KILLING me when in heels for 10 or 12h:love::love:rs.

[nikki47]

Never overdosed on dressing,just wish i could do it more.Ah well.

Nikki

[Deborah Jane]

I used to think of this as a curse, but not anymore
Now i,ve come to accept myself, i dress whenever and for as long as i like and enjoy my "gift"!! :)

[abundantly_me]

My SO has gone through periods, where he ( and not necessarily of his own choosing wouldn't be able to dress) I believe he would feel you are lucky at least to be able to do it 24/7 for a few days. As a gg, I'm glad in some ways that you are happy also to be in 'guy' mode.

crossdressing has been a struggle with him, hiding it for years, etc. I don't know what it's like to feel the 'desire', but I do think it's healthy to be happy with whom you are, like yourself when you are in 'guy' mode and like yourself when in 'femme' mode, but above all be happy with just being you.

if you have a SO that confindence that you have within yourself, will help them feel confident in there relationship with you.

I'm only dating my SO at the present time, he has been cross dressing a very long time, he's been married 2 times, has children. He's tried to be what others (his SO's ) expected of him, but struggled with this other side, I just want him now with me to find happiness or that balance that he needs, so you are not alone. I do think at one time he thought of it as a curse, but has found acceptance within himself.

[Deelite]

Again i echo alot with what others here have put, i used to think it was a curse, and that old familiar question "why me?" over time you get wiser, and take what you think is curse and use it to your advantage.

I look upon my cd'ing now as a huge help in boosting my confidence, when i was at school i was'nt a confident person, but now, years later i like to think i am the opposite, and going out buying female clothes, shoes, makeup etc has given me the confidence boost i lacked many years back.

I am at the moment going though quite a stressfull part of my life and cd'ing is giving me the 'escape' of being Dee for a few hours and to put all my problems behind me. If doctors could see what cd'ing does to relieving our stress levels, they would prescribe it!!

Dee.

[Eliza]

Overdosing,, interesting point :heehee:

Its whatever suits as far as i'm concerned,, Sometimes i'm Eliza Everyday but this last few months i've never seen her not even the once,, as been said its about intergrating it in to your life as you see fit or as you need, if everyday suits then so be it, if not then hey-ho...

[pcpolitex]

It gets worse as you get older. Need to dress almost daily.Doing it for about 58 years. Had the same experience as you when younger . Dressed for a short time ,then stopped. Needed to dress maybe once a week or month. Dated a lot when younger and did very little dressing. Found as I got older began fantasizing about the girls from my younger days and started dressing just like them. I love the styles of the 50s where I was a teen and so dress in that era. CD ing becomes habit forming. But it is safer than Prozac and a great way to reduce some of thge stress in ones life.

[icequeen]

everyone is different in how they cd...it varies for everyone. My cd is probably 70% male 30% female. Dressing happens more when heis overly stressed about something. It is usually an intamate thing also. She prefers to get really dressed up and then want to be physical. At this time he has no desire to share the female side with anyone other than on this site or other sites and myself. Don't think of it as a curse, but as something that is very common, I mean look at all the support you have here. I love the femme side of him because I feel he relates to me better than a normal man would.

[smokey]

personally as a GG i hate heels. i can't imagine being uncomfortable in my clothes.
i agree with enjoy when needed, enjoy guy when needed.

[mattie]

You know, I've never been able to just "live" as a girl for that many days in a row. I'm curious now as to if I would stop being interested in it if I were to try it. Unfortunately with me working two jobs right now I'll not have time for a while to ever try this. I "imagine" that it would be heaven to be able to do that, but the reality might be different.

[Angie G]

I've gone 4 days 24/7 but had to go back. I could have went forever. :hugs:
Angie

[Jilmac]

Even though I hid my dressing for many years (because of a disapproving spouse), I never considered it a curse. I was in counseling some years ago and was able to come to terms with my femme self. If anything, it is a blessing to be able to know and feel my feminine side without anxiety. I haven't OD'ed on it (not that I wouldn't love to, I just haven't gotten the opportunity yet), but if I ever did, I think it would be the best high I ever experienced. Drug free, alcohol free, perfectly safe and legal. What a great way to overdose :D. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Sarah Doepner]

Shiney,
I have done the same thing. I've gone months only being able to dress for short periods of time and then gotten the opportunity to dress 24/7 for several days in a row. My face felt raw, my legs and feet were sore from the shoes and I was ready to wear my guy clothes for a while. I don't know if it was an OD, but I was satisfied with the experience.
I haven't had that chance for a couple of years and am back in the short periods of dressing and it would be nice to get the chance once again. As I've gotten older, I have noticed a desire that has increased as I've aged. It may be that I associate so many calm, enjoyable times en femme that I really do find it to be my reward for everything I have to go thru in my guy world. Good luck.

[CD Susan]

I do not consider being a cd as a curse. I think of it as just the opposite, a blessing. I have known I was a cd since the age of about 8 and have enjoyed this part of me all of my life. If there was a magic pill that I could take to make the urge to cd go away I would not take it. I need and cherish this part of me and feel blessed to have been born this way. There is no way I could ever 'od' on cd. Shiny, I hope that you can come to a compromise on living the two sides of who you are and be at peace with yourself. I wish you the best of everything in your quest to discover who you really are.

[Patti Girl]

Have you considered that you may be happiest somewhere "in between"? Perhaps you don't need to go "ultra femme" and bounce around from one extreme to the other?

I'm just tossing this up for your consideration. Each of us are different and have our individual needs.

Best wishes,

Patti

[Nadia-Maria]

Just finished another 4 day 24/7 stint in girl mode. I wanted to find my limit and to push my limit, and this afternoon I found I just couldn't deal with the heels, the forms, or the straps and garters anymore.
(..)
After an overdose week in drag and in going back to who I really am I feel tired but relieved. I really enjoy the feeling of being a guy again and it usually lasts a couple weeks until I feel the need to "hit the silk" once again.


Your experience sounds rather common for me.
When I was younger I felt often like you do after I had crossdressed for several hours or one day long, so that my crossdressing sessions used to occur at several weeks distance.

With aging I learnt to better understand my dual self and to know how to manage the balance between my guy time and my fem time.

I found it's all a matter of balance, to avoid the overdose.
An overdose can still occur for me but it tends to become quite rare.

In any case, I feel I'm not yet able to drift to 7/7 24/24 fem mode ; I would have to stop before one elapsed week.

Hugs

Nadia

[Robyn2006]

Desiring to be femme a curse? Good lord, no... I so love this part of my being and have come to feel it a blessing which I could never imagine denying myself again - saying this after untold years of denial and some incredibly costly purges. These days the only time I feel I'm myself is after hours of primping, adorning and transitioning to Robyn. Only then do I feel relaxed within my skin and feel all is as it should be... :battingeyelashes:

As for overdosing... That's NEVER happened. Just the opposite, really, for the longer and... deeper I allow myself to go within my femininity, the harder it is to come back to my drab male existence. :wall:

Robyn

[Raquelle C]

I sort of feel the same way.... I go through 1, 2, or even 3 days of strong feeling about cding and then it dies out for a few days, or sometimes a week or two and then comes back all over again. I learned to try to balance it out and act on your feelings if possible to bring you to equilibrium.

[Megan70]

Without going into a lot of detail here, (as I been through this forum issue before last fall), I truly understand Shiny and stand behind her when she refers to it as "a curse". Its metaphorical and I will say here that this is reflective only to me, my opinions and how I feel about the use of that term. I actually first used that term when emotionally breaking down in an office session of my sex /CD therapist with my wife fully supporting me and comforting me at that moment. I know where Shiny is coming from, as I also know that 2 weeks later I will have almost denied saying that term because its time to hit the "silk again" and get the physical and emotional pleasure that comes with it.
I am probably in the same age group with Shiny and agree that it does get worse as we get older.
I've spent a 2 or 3 day weekend dressed when I was home alone, and frankly like she said i got bored with it and was glad to return.

Now as ladies here we should stand and support one another, and ease up a bit on her if you don't agree.This forum fortunately is here to express opinions and feelings and yours are respected also, but so is Shiny's.Is there anyone else on this thread that can somewhat agree with Shiny and i on that term.? Surely we can't be alone

I've been there
In the same on again /off again cycle... and confused by it... but loving it when I find its not a curse to me( on that day or that moment)
Hugs,
Megan

[tricia_uktv]

Hold on a moment, were all different and in different stages of our lives. I have just finished a four day stint crossdressing. I am still re-living the experiences I had and am loving every minute of it. I am now totally open with it and think that helps. Can't wait for next time (Thursday week). Its the most brilliant thing I've ever done. Look at the picture!

[Audrey34]

Cd overdose? Not here. I only wish I could overdose on dressing up. Outside of my monthly Tri-Ess meeting in which I'm dressed for the entire late afternoon and evening, I haven't really been dressing much at home.
-Audrey

[Paulette]

The longest I have gone is a week and then I would have done another given the chance. You find so many things get easier when you do them every day. The total immersion into my feminine being, allowed me to really relax and enjoy my time as Paulette.

[Andi]

I think overdose is a good description. For me it seems the longer I can stay dressed, the harder the landing is when I return to drab mode. I actually ache and feel ill when I have to undo Andi and put her away. I've never taken drugs but if this is anything like coming off of a high, it's no fun at all for sure. Then my mind goes squirrelly thinking about when the next chance to dress will occur. Until then I'm useless and can't think straight.

:daydreaming:

[Claire3]

Im happy with my cd/non cd times throughout the day/week.Cant remember the last day i wasnt dressed.Certainly dont feel the need to force myself to cd 24/7 to purge myself of what is part of me.I have a nice balance and im going to stay with it,thankyou.