I wanna visible yet invisible!!!

[Felix]

Ok confused, ya will be?!! I've had kinda a roller coaster of a last few weeks I guess what with seemingly being outed to my son and too some other people who maybe knew but was unsure about me. I am very visibly out right now even referring to myself as trans to peeps to get them used to the idea and yet sometimes I still wanna be invisible. I can't explain this strange feeling except to say it's like a safety device like the cloak in Harry potter maybe that makes him invisible. I'm sitting here with a lump in my throat cos its just all emotions going on right now and it's freaky. Deep down I know I'm a man maybe that's the cloak, I'm keeping it cloaked. Not because of the way I dress because that is very visible but maybe because I am not asking peeps to use male pronouns that is the invisibility factor. I am at yet another junction in my life's journey and its scary as hell. My counselling starts on the 19th and the first consecutively and everything is in the front of my mind. I'm scared and feel like I'm going down and I'm fighting it with all my energy but its hard and I'm tired so tired!!!!! Sorry for ranting peeps xx Felix :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[metalguy639]

Hang in there Felix all will work out.

[ZenFrost]

Sorry you're having such conflicting feelings. :hugs: I don't know what to say but just to try to ride things out and hope for the best. :bighug:

[Felix]

Thanx guys I realize it's hard to know what to say because sometimes the experience is quite personal. Last night we went to the pub where I had had the problems and they were so welcoming to Punkster and I. It was great being back and Punkster made a point of using the correct pronouns all night and infact we both corrected peeps if they got it wrong. I also found out today that the leader of the trans support group had talked to the pub management and they had confirmed that I had had an appology from them, so great news. I am going to a trans awareness workshop this week where there will be influentiaql members of the community present, like police and councellors and the like taht should be interesting. I'll let ya know how it goes. Well onward and upward or even sideways cos at least its still movement but no going down guys don't wanna go there again. Thanx for bein here for me xx Felix :hugs::hugs: