GG sales assistants...

[heathr1]

What is the worst response you've had from them while shopping/trying on clothes?

About 20 years ago I was looking at skirts in a store and the two saleswomen humiliated me big style.

One asked if I require assistance and I explained I did not, but was interested in a skirt.

One held a long skirt up to me (uninvited), while the other made comments asking if I'd like to borrow her own make-up and lingerie and saying also that they'd love to see me in a tight mini and heels.

They then laughed so much at me.

I left red faced and never returned.

[Emily Anderson]

Sounds like paradise!

I'd love a couple of cute SA's to humiliate me by suggesting that I'd dress up in girly clothes!

[Wendy me]

heathr you should write a book abought your adventures..............

[Satin_Lover_13]

I would have said sure and what type of lingerie tdo you have? Can i try it on? Oh hon thanks for the help WINK !!!!!!!

[KimberlyS]

The worse response I got was years ago in Sears had a old bitty of a SA. She had that what are you coming in here for look. She watched me like a hawk the whole time I was in the lingerie area from the moment I got there. Where ever I went she showed up some where around me so she could see me. She had the growly look to her. I did not stay long as I could see I was not welcome there. Of course that was when I use to try and hide behind the racks so I would not be seen.

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve not had a really bad experiance of SAs...

Whenever they,ve said something like that to me i,ve just gone along with them and had a laugh!!

Once i bought a leopard print bra and pantie set..The SA said "I bet you,ll look pretty in them"
I answered "If i don,t, i,ll come back and get something else"
We both laughed, i paid and left with my purchase!!

[CaptLex]

I don't get it . . . a rude salesperson is just a rude salesperson regardless of whether it's a GG or whatever. Why single out female ones? :raisedeyebrow:

[Emily Anderson]

The question is, were they really being rude, or just having a bit of fun, thinking that Heather may play along?

It's tough to judge a story from a few statements, and without having been there.... Who knows?

[linnea]

Actually, I think that a lot has changed in the past twenty years; for CDs this is mostly for the better. I have never had the kind of experience you described. If I had had something like that happen twenty years ago, I might have responded as you did--with embarassment. Today, I would respond quite differently. First, I would go along with it to some degree; if it turned a little hostile, I would ask to speak with a manager and report it.
In the past five years, I have found that many shops--large and small--treat their customers as customers without regard for pre-conceived stereotypes. Some of the older SA seem to have a little hesitance about that when it comes to CDs, but I think that the situation has improved.

[Mirani]

wow ... 20 years ago ..
What on earth happened to trigger the memory and mention it now?

Lots have changed in 20 years - especially to do with "diversity" issues.

Have to say that I rarely have had a male SA .. mostly because they tend not to be selling the girly stuff .. and when they do, (as in cosmetics) I always head for the female SA anyway.

I am blessed - because my experiences have ranged from the "nil response" to smiles and to respect for my chosen gender expression, support and help when needed.

As you have jogged the "history" files, I do remember that in the dim and distant fearful past, because I skulked around trying NOT to be noticed, I probably gave off negative vibes which the SA responded to. Probably my behaviour was not unsimilar to a shoplifter .... and that's why I was watched.

[JoAnnDallas]

I too have not had a SA be rude to me. In fact when my wife and I went looking for a pair of heels for my formal outfit, the shoe store we were in, we had both a male and female SA help us. Neither one said a thing that the heels were for me and not my wife. Both were very curtoius and helpful. The female SA was a trainie and the man was trianing her. I tried on various heels, walked up/down the alises, and looked at them in the shoe mirror. In fact it was the female SA that asked me to discribe my formal outfit and found the pair of heels that she thought would go great with it. Sure enough, when we got home, I changed into my formal outfit, put on the new heels, and WOW they did go great with the outfit.

[Jilmac]

You have to be pretty thick skinned to be a crossdresser in the first place. If you let something like that get to you, then maybe you're not using the right comeback. I have always had a comeback for any SA or cashier who makes a comment. I usually say something humorus as a comeback to lighten the situation. About the same time your incident happened I had gone to a Kohl's store after work wearing drabs. I picked out several panties and bras, (one especially pretty set, mocha with ecru lace trim). When I got up to the checkout line the cashier held up the lace trimmed set and said "I'll bet you're going to look pretty in these". I flashed her a big smile and said "Yes and I'm going to try them on as soon as I get home". After she finished ringing up my items I took them home and she was right, I did look pretty in them :D
Luv and :hugs: Jill

[Toni_Lynn]

I never had a rude SA, but my mum was an SA at a Lerner's store. She used to come home and spout off about 'You should have seen the fairy faggot that came into the store today and looked at all the dresses. I wanted to ask the little faggot if he wanted a bra too'

Made me wanna hide under the bed and cry, yet at the same time run out into the room and scream 'Oh yeah -- well I'm one too then!'. Most of the time, though, I just sat in my room and cried.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[gretchenD]

When I was 18,buying some clothes and my adoptive mom was with me.I was trying on a skirt and top on coming out to show my adoptive mom.She told me I looked great in them.A couple of male sales assistants whom did not work in the women's department laughed at me and call me a freak.Luckily the sales assistant whom was a woman helping me cheered me up,told me I looked great in them and reported this to the manager.The manager took care of it right away and fired the 2 male sales assistants on the spot whom did this to me.The manager said I did not deserve this at all and I agreed with her.I still shop at this place for clothes and I still know the manager to this day.

[Amelia Moxon]

Only one I had was in Brantano (large shoe store) when I was trying on a few pairs of boots, when I turn round after puting the box back (they didn't fit sadly) the SA was stood there with a security guard. I simply smiled at them and walked off. I was tempted to write a letter to the area head office but I never did, should have to be honest, though it hasn't happend since.

Amelia xxx

[trannie T]

There used to be a wonderful little shop in San Francisco, Villanova's Corsets. Ceceila was very good to crossdressers. I was there one day waiting for another customer to be served when the customer turned and asked me If I was there to buy some frilly undies too. I blushed, the customer was served and she left. Cecilia appologised for the remar of the other customer and gave me a pair of panties to match my new waist cincher.

[Emily Anderson]

I never had a rude SA, but my mum was an SA at a Lerner's store. She used to come home and spout off about 'You should have seen the fairy faggot that came into the store today and looked at all the dresses. I wanted to ask the little faggot if he wanted a bra too'

Made me wanna hide under the bed and cry, yet at the same time run out into the room and scream 'Oh yeah -- well I'm one too then!'. Most of the time, though, I just sat in my room and cried.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn


Yeah, that's really the worst, isn't it! When your own family or friends make some negative comment about crossdressing, and you just can't bring yourself to defend the person they are ridiculing, because it's also you!

[victoriamwilliams1]

20 Years ago I was in my late teens and things where not as they are today, I remember back in 1987 I worked at a store and we had a CD and her I guess wife come in and shop and the manager looked and made comments to us, however they where treated with the same level of respect as any other customer.

Now today, SA's have to be real careful with how they treat customers/guest. The main reasons are:

We are in an litigation society so and rude statements can cost them money.

We could be secret shoppers who happen to present ourselves as the opposite gender, which could cost the SA and or the management their jobs.

A TG will spend more money and repeat when the SA's are nice and none judgmental so in my case I have had comments when I am in boy mode when I buy items for my girl mode which has made me stop buying some of those items while in boy mode now. I think the most hurt comes from those close to you in todays society.

[_Sarah_]

anyone who sets up a clothing shop specifically fo CD /TG etc would make a absolute killing.

[iwearstockings]

I bought a pile of stuff at Primark in Hackney and the girl actually looked me up and down with an 'I think these are for you' expression. She didn't say anything though.I think i must have blushed a bit but I was past caring by that point. Looking forward to trying it all on!

[Toni_Lynn]

anyone who sets up a clothing shop specifically fo CD /TG etc would make a absolute killing.

The problem is that some people have done just that and the absolute killing is the crime they commit by overcharging for low quality goods and items that available off the rack/ shelf in regular stores!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Paulette]

Toni_Lynn is so right TV/CD specialty shops always charge far more than a department store for the same items. I have never had a SA give me any grief what so ever when purchasing items. Remember with out customers they go out of business.

[_Sarah_]

If their prices could even just match standard retail prices. they would get a roaring trade just for the acceptance and welcome service (providing it was done correctly.)

[TxKimberly]

The worst treatment I've had by SA's is to simply be ignored. If cross dressing burns your but that badly, I can handle being ignored.

[crusadergirl]

The worst treatment I've had by SA's is to simply be ignored. If cross dressing burns your but that badly, I can handle being ignored.
Being ignored is the worst i would like for them to say something to me. SA's ignore me only when buying girl clothes but if it was anything else they would talk to me.

[erickka]

I think a little humor can go a long way. It breaks the ice and can make everyone concerned feel a little more at ease. I have had a few younger female SA's make comments, and threw in some humor with an honest answer, and went away with both of us smiling, and having a mutual good experience.

[Sarasometimes]

I have had more great experiences with GG SA's than bad by far. One memorable one was while shopping for a halloween costume. A blue dress, for devil with a blue dress on. Two of them were instantly on a mission. they found several they thought would fit and as they led me to the fitting room said that the only condition was that I model them all. They were very sincere in thier assessments. We all agreed the blue sequined mini sheath was best. The last request was for me to drop by with pictures, which gratiously did. they were very impressed with my modified pumps into High-heeled sneakers 9 i had a GG help with the details.
I have had a few SA's appear shocked or simply say we don't let men try things on. I avoidthese situations by a simple call to the store. I know i wouldn't want to be surprised or put on the spot at my job so why, if it can be avoided wouldn't we try to do that. yeah yeah, i know we aren't... but that isn't really the well understood idea about CDS.

[Patti Girl]

20 Years ago I was in my late teens and things where not as they are today

I wonder if that's true, or if it is just that we have changed?

Of course, I'm sure it depends on location too. What's normal in some places is still unusual in others.

Patti
in the rural midwest ;-)

[MsJanessa]

What is the worst response you've had from them while shopping/trying on clothes?

About 20 years ago I was looking at skirts in a store and the two saleswomen humiliated me big style.

One asked if I require assistance and I explained I did not, but was interested in a skirt.

One held a long skirt up to me (uninvited), while the other made comments asking if I'd like to borrow her own make-up and lingerie and saying also that they'd love to see me in a tight mini and heels.

They then laughed so much at me.

I left red faced and never returned.

Is that a fantasy or did it really happen hon? Because if it really happened you should post the name and address of the store---20 years later maybe the same sales girls are still there---one can only hope.


The problem is that some people have done just that and the absolute killing is the crime they commit by overcharging for low quality goods and items that available off the rack/ shelf in regular stores!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

That's for sure----I don't know why but TG/TV speciality shops often seem to have really cheap, nasty looking, shoddy merchandise at triple the price. Not as common now as it was 20 years ago but I still see it a lot. Best bet is to shop at a women's store like Metrostyle, newport news, dress barn etc. If you are big and beautiful try Romans--the leather pants I'm wearing in My avatar come from Newport News and the silk poet style blouse from Metrostyle--formerly lerner direct

[BillieJoe]

I've had a few comments made in the nearly 40 years I've been buying fem clothing. Some SA were just trying to be 'cute' with some comment or another. A SA at Lane Bryant once announced to the whole store that the dress I was about to purchase was a very nice one and that she saw me looking at it last week. She directed her comments to me but was said loud enough for everyone to hear. Of course I got some dirty stares. Then there are the SA's who are all bubbly and smiling until they start checking your stuff out and once seeing that its all fem stuff they get all quiet and moody. Some don't even say thankyou or wish me a good day. You walk away and glance back and they are all smiles and bubbly again with the next customer.

[JoAnnDallas]

Pattie Girl said


Quote:
Originally Posted by victoriamwilliams1
20 Years ago I was in my late teens and things where not as they are today

I wonder if that's true, or if it is just that we have changed?

I grew up in that time frame and I can tell you that it was different.

1. No internet, so we did not know others like us existed.
2. It was dangerous to be either Gay or a TG. You could have gotten beat up and no one even the law would have lifted a hand.
3. In many states, CDing was illegal by law.

Today, we have changed, society has also changed, and it is no longer illegal in all 50 states.

[KandisTX]

It's their job to check me out with my purchase and take my money for the store. If they are rude to me, I contact the manager, and if that does not help I will contact corporate offices if it is a major chain store. You would be amazed at how much more receptive they can be when they get a call from the regional director of customer service because they treated a cash paying customer rudely.

I had one associates at one resale shop about 14 years ago that was somewhat taken aback briefly when I told her that I wanted to look for a dress (I was dressed in Drab), when she asked me what size SHE was, I told her "It's for me", but she didn't really waiver much, she just took me over to the rack and started holding up dresses to determine what size I wore. She selected a couple of size 18's and a 20 and led me to the dressing room. On the way there she asked me if I needed anything else like undergarments. I told her that I only buy those new for sanitary reasons, she smiled and said she understood completely that she was the same way.

Sometimes they just don't care and see you as just another customer, which is how they should see you. Each and every customer should receive the same treatment regardless of gender.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[goofus]

What is the worst response you've had from them while shopping/trying on clothes?

About 20 years ago I was looking at skirts in a store and the two saleswomen humiliated me big style.

One asked if I require assistance and I explained I did not, but was interested in a skirt.

One held a long skirt up to me (uninvited), while the other made comments asking if I'd like to borrow her own make-up and lingerie and saying also that they'd love to see me in a tight mini and heels.

They then laughed so much at me.

I left red faced and never returned.

Gee, if that's the worst thing that's ever happened, that's not too bad I'd say :)


I never had a rude SA, but my mum was an SA at a Lerner's store. She used to come home and spout off about 'You should have seen the fairy faggot that came into the store today and looked at all the dresses. I wanted to ask the little faggot if he wanted a bra too'

Made me wanna hide under the bed and cry, yet at the same time run out into the room and scream 'Oh yeah -- well I'm one too then!'. Most of the time, though, I just sat in my room and cried.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

Sorry you had to endure that...people can be so unenlightened, even more painful that it was your own mother :(

[Nancy (PA)]

I've adopted the "I'll react to you in the same manner that you act to me" approach, and that seems to keep me on an even keel. But lately the experiences have all been positive. At a "Payless" store where I frequently drop in, the SA was getting some specials on belts and purses out onto the counter for me to look at as I was trying on some heels. And, just a few weeks ago I was in a "Dress Barn" browsing through the blouses section when an older woman shopper asked if she could help me pick something out for me, and then the SA came over and helped in the process. Then she got me a special dressing stall to change into, and reviewed each of the outfits that we had selected. And finally, she led me to the jewelry area for completion of the outfits that I was going to buy.

[SherriePall]

Haven't had any outright nastiness, but you can tell if an SA or manager is not really thrilled that you are there. On the other hand, many SA's have been absolutely great in helping me.
P.S. Yes, JoAnn, I remember those old days that weren't so good. The youngsters just can't believe what could be done to you if they caught you crossdressing other than at Halloween.

[MentalMercury]

I've only bought things by myself twice, so no great experience to draw on, nothing negative at all. Once a cute girl at the register smiled at me when I bought a corset.

But aside from that, a TG shop sounds ideal on the outside, but you have to keep in mind, it's a specialty shop, it's not very likely they would get any other business than TG people at all. Even if you sell normal stuff too.. it has the mark, you know? It must be very hard to keep a store like that above water. Possibly only in a real big city would that work.

Reminds me, I went into a wig shop in NYC years ago with my mom (not for me, I didn't CD then) but I remember right at the front desk was a big banner of a drag queen with a wig. I could only imagine that kind of thing in NYC.