Why do you crossdress?

[Natalie79]

So I'm curious, I've been studying human sexuality a lot lately as it deeply interests me. Society has deemed females to be symbols of sexuality. So much so that even in certain studies straight females became aroused by images of naked women, but not of naked men. Simply because seeing a naked women triggered "sex" in their subconscious.

If the tables were turned or at least equal and male sexuality was given as much stress in society as female sexually, would you be less likely to cross dress?

As an example, if there were Victoria Secret style stores for men at most malls, if it were socially acceptable for men to wear makeup and shave certain parts of their body, and be open sexually as women are, would you find yourself less inclined to cross dress?

I guess what I'm asking is, is cross dressing born out of a desire for certain men to want to feel like a sexual/attractive person or am I pegging it completely wrong?

[MsJanessa]

I like the attention

[Ásfríðr]

well as you say, its in the female psyche to be sexy and pretty. if it was socially normal for men to exhibit those behaviors then it wouldn't be cross dressing i spose, it'd be an acceptable aesthetic and (to risk a more controversial idea lol) i think more men would choose it over 'ruggedness' so to speak. but aside from that, the motivation for a lot of crossdressing is body dismorphia and G.I.D, those sorts of causes. i guess if society didn't have these possibly arbitrary gender specific aesthetic requirements then the argument would no longer matter because both men and women would be able to choose freely. of course that isn't the case and really talking about it like that is kind of irrelevent, its like looking at politics without history. as it is, there is a basic femininity and a basic masculinity, and tv/tgs simply identify with the opposite gender bias to the one they are born into. sorta thang, xx

[sybercom11]

I do it because it always felt like the natural thing to do. I have always felt girlie inside. I guess I was never quite a candidate for a sex change, but I have need to be as womanly as possible otherwise.

[Natalia]

When was the last time you found anything in satin or velour in the men's section at Bloomingdales?:)

[Suzy Harrison]

It's not just the clothes.... I just feel female and want to present that way in every aspect

[sybercom11]

When was the last time you found anything in satin or velour in the men's section at Bloomingdales?:)



That is so true! I wear clothes from the juniors section at Kohl's because I think they are the neatest clothes you can possible wear!

[michelle64]

i took psychology in college and the same type of topics were standard course fare..personally for me i know i have michelle within and have no qualms with letting michelle be michelle at times..its fun and i truly enjoy every aspect of my female side..furthermore i am completely at peace with who i am..i will not change my sex (male) nor am i going to ignore who i am..i am at peace with who i am and am very happy...even if i wanted to stop i could not and why should i try to supress who i am?..that would just lead to misery...and for the record..im 100% hetero..

[brittany]

i just enjoy my female side. I have always felt more natural when i am i dressed female however i still enjoy my male side. I guess its just great being able to express both sides!

[DeeDeeB]

There's a feminine side to me who expresses herself in a number of ways, clothing being one of them. That side doesn't get out much, but most of the rest is a part of me every day. If men were openly accepted in what is currently considered female attire, I'm pretty sure I'd still prefer the dress.

Dee :fairy1:

[yms]

The clothes fit me better.

But I think you're over-simplifying. Do gay men regard women as symbols of sexuality? What I mean is, look at who's been making these rules for hundreds of years now. It's a bit one-sided and biased. What do you think psychology classes and text books would look like today if Freud had been a woman?

Also, in this "publish or perish" climate, with pressure on researchers in all fields to produce findings that can be used to create new products and make money, many scientific findings (like the one you mention) have to be taken with a grain of salt.

I mean, is red wine good for you or bad for you? I guess it depends on what scientific report you last read. What about red meat? Same thing.


But your question - if it were commonplace for all men to wear makeup, would crossdressing still exist - is a great question. I think it may be one for the philosophers and not the the psychologists. Perhaps if Freud had been a woman, men would be wearing makeup as part of the cultural "norm."

[Karren H]

Plain and simply... Because I'm driven to.... And I can....

[georgeous]

i think i like to dress up because it brings out my feminine side and makes me feel sexy. if it were ok for men to dress up all the time i think i probably would. if there were a victorias secret for men i think my wife would have to take away the credit cards!!!!!:D

[sybercom11]

i think i like to dress up because it brings out my feminine side and makes me feel sexy. if it were ok for men to dress up all the time i think i probably would. if there were a victorias secret for men i think my wife would have to take away the credit cards!!!!!:D


There is something to be said about having a feminine side. I have been complimented on that many times over the years.

Being caring and gentle are good things to be. I have also been complimented on how much of active role I have taken in the kids' lives. (Yes, I volunteer with the "other moms" at school and I am the only one not a real girl 99 percent of the time)

[Carol A]

At 14 I was busted by my mother and as we all know the talk came,WHY.
Well the truth is I was and ugly boy and got teased and cry saying I wish I was a girl and could look pretty.

I have dressed since that day and will never go back, I love being me.:hugs:

[christinac]

For me it isn't a sex issue at all. I've always felt like a woman caught in a man's body and spent years trying to hide it and get it out of my mind with no success at all. I've always been female in most of my likes and dislikes and I have always had gained more and been closer to female rather than male friends (I'm talking friends! Not acquaintances). I'm sick of hiding and always having to live life something I am not.

[Deborah Jane]

Because i love being a girl whenever i can...It makes me feel happy and complete!!
I hate seeing myself as a guy, so i rarely look at my guy reflection in the mirror, whereas when i,m girly i love seeing my reflection!!

[Tomara]

I crossdress because I enjoy the feminine part of my personality ,and I enjoy the way all of female clothes make me feel . I just the girl in me I guess !:heehee: Tomara

[Shelly Preston]

I think you may have this completely wrong

I started dressing as a young age and still have no idea what has taken me down this path

This was before I realised women were portrayed in such a sexual way

Not quite sure what that does to your theory ?

[Claire3]

Im totally driven to it,i love it,it makes me feel complete and i couldnt live without it.

[Lisa Rose]

As an example, if there were Victoria Secret style stores for men at most malls, if it were socially acceptable for men to wear makeup and shave certain parts of their body, and be open sexually as women are, would you find yourself less inclined to cross dress?


If this were true I think Victory Principle would be the richist women in the world. On the other hand, if this were true, there would be no definitive difference betweens men's and women's clothes, therefore, the term 'crossdresser' wouldn't exist. So, crossdressing wouldn't exist because no one would know what the term meant.

[Deborah Jane]

I disagree...I would still want to wear breast forms, a wig and makeup, also i would still tuck!!
I just think i prefer myself as a girl...It makes me happy:)

[MJ]

i truly believe i should have been born a woman and therefore dress as one

[cdjenny20]

I was just talking about this with the lady who was doing my nails the other day. I honestly have no idea why I crossdress and really don't care. When I was younger, I thought a lot more about it. I was about 5 or 6 years old when I first thought about wanting to wear one of my sisters outfits. I don't know why I wanted to wear her outfit, but I knew I did.

I've come to accept the fact that it makes me happy, helps to relax me, and I'm not hurting anybody. In fact if I don't get to dress up for a while, my wife will take the kids out of the house for a day and tell me to dress up and enjoy myself since I can get cranky if I go to long without it. Since I grew up before the internet, I went through phases of wondering whether I was gay and stuff like that. I've learned that I'm happy being a 100% heterosexual guy who happens to admire women and have a strong feminine side as well.

This is one of those issues that I don't think scientists will ever determine a 100% definitive answer for.

[Shannen]

Wow!

I think you have hit on one of the reasons... There was also a thread recently about how gender is learned... I don't think you can make that blanket statement.

Hormones... Pure and simple. Does Testosterone rule or not? That is the major reason for "masculinity" as far as I see.

Is feminity all about adornment and sex? ... no

How about lead/follow (dom/sub?) I know those roles are not 100% male/fem... but generally in a hetero relationship that is how it works out.

Being pretty is one thing... being told you are pretty and treated like your prettiness is a delicate thing to be appreciated... that's another thing. (and one thing that I think is usually sought after but not attained by cd's in a hetero relationship)

so in your scenario, all those pretty men would need someone in their life telling them how nice they looked, and perhaps treating them in ways that makes them feel that way.

[Amy Hepker]

It's the attention, and I love females.

[TxKimberly]

. . . would you please let the rest of us know?
You are essentially asking the question that generations of cross dressers and PH D's have failed to answer definitively - what makes a cross dresser?

I suspect this is one of those questions where you ask 100 different people and get 100 different answers, but I'll give you mine as well as I am able.

My experiences taught me from early on that men are "bad", unreliable, and undesirable. They can not be counted on, they are only motivated my self interest, and are generally weak in character. Since my childhood (OH so long ago) I've learned that this is false. There are good and decent men in the world, and I aspire to be one of them.
Women on the other hand were proud, would do what it took to take care of family, and they were beautiful.

Problem is, by the time I learned that all men were not dogs, and all women were not noble, many of my perceptions had already been set. Wanting so much to be a beautiful and noble person, I started cross dressing around 5 I think. Certainly well before puberty.

My self image also take part in this. I've always felt ugly and unattractive when in male mode. This issue I think is in my head as I look back on my younger photos and ask myself "what the hell were you thinking??!! You were cute!".
When I'm dressed, I think I look pretty, and I know I feel pretty and peaceful.
No, this is not a clear concise answer, but then these are concepts and feelings very difficult to express in words.

[Annesah]

It seems I have no choice; and wouldn't wish for one if I could. Yes. I'm locked into this life and I love it!:)

[Toni_Lynn]

I think its because I wanted to feel special, and to me, girls are so incredibly special and perfect and beautiful. I wanted to be special, too. I remember at early age wondering why I had to be 'snips and snails and puppy dog tails'. I wanted to be 'sugar and spice and everything nice'. And so, the logic in my little brain, said that if I dressed as a girl I to would feel that specialness that came with being a girl.

Now a days, well, its because I just like to, and I genuinely like girls clothes. Its become such a part of me, that I could no more not crossdress than a lion not be a lion or or a leopard be an oak tree. I like me!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[jill s]

I agree with Shelly. I and many others started very young, before sex drive had anything to do with it. Sexuality and gender are tied together but one isn't always the reason for the other.

[Laura_Stephens]

I started so early, I don't think it had anyhting to do with sex.

Of course, in my teen years, dressing up was very sexual. Of course, most most male teens everything relates to sex in some fashion or another.

I suspect that I am at least similar to many others here in that I have asked the question of "Why?" many times. I wish I had an answer, but I don't.

[TGMarla]

I began crossdressing because I liked the way the clothes felt. It started with pantyhose, and I really liked how they felt on my legs while I was wearing them. This progressed to other feminine articles of clothing, eventually leading to the total female transformation. By then I also liked the way the clothing looked on me when I was wearing it. So it had nothing to do with women as sex objects, especially since I was about a year prepubescent when I started.

[Nicki B]

I guess what I'm asking is, is cross dressing born out of a desire for certain men to want to feel like a sexual/attractive person or am I pegging it completely wrong?

For me, you're pegging it completely wrong.. :straightface:

[Kelli Ann]

Not only do I dress because I like the feeling of the clothing but I have always been attracted to women in tight clothing and high heels. When I dress up, I become the woman of my desires. I can look in the mirror and create her.

I love my male side and have NO intention of becoming a female but when I am in femme, I feel so sexy and attractive.

I often look at myself in the mirror and think " If I seen you in a bar, I would definetely try to pick you up". That is the ultimate self complement.

[Sapphire]

Most crossdressers don't seem to have made a decision to become crossdressers, it's as if the decision was made for them in advance. Nature likes diversity and I guess we are part of that diversity.

[chaotropic]

I prefer the fashion.
but if you want to get deeper than that I want to be female.

[Ayame]

There is no correct answer unless you were to just write a lengthy book full of possibility's most cross dressers dress for different reasons. Some do it because they like the style, some think they are female, some do it as a fetish, some like the attention, some do it for their jobs in entertainment, some do it to make themselves feel sexy, hot, cute, and most don't know why the hell they do it. There are tons of possibility's of why people cross dress. Me myself I fall into a combo which most do I like the style, I like the attention, and I like feeling sexy and or pretty from time to time.

[Sylviatg]

So I'm curious, I've been studying human sexuality a lot lately as it deeply interests me. Society has deemed females to be symbols of sexuality. So much so that even in certain studies straight females became aroused by images of naked women, but not of naked men. Simply because seeing a naked women triggered "sex" in their subconscious.

If the tables were turned or at least equal and male sexuality was given as much stress in society as female sexually, would you be less likely to cross dress?

As an example, if there were Victoria Secret style stores for men at most malls, if it were socially acceptable for men to wear makeup and shave certain parts of their body, and be open sexually as women are, would you find yourself less inclined to cross dress?

I guess what I'm asking is, is cross dressing born out of a desire for certain men to want to feel like a sexual/attractive person or am I pegging it completely wrong?

For me it completes me! And I want to attract men! Both came to me at a young age. Help any?:daydreaming:

[Glenda]

Because its just a part of me and I don't want to deny it.

[tricia_uktv]

Because I love it and feel free when dressed. Nothing more.

[dominique]

For me it's being able to express my inner woman. I have always been attracted to womens clothing before it became sexual. It was the way their clothes floated and how many outfits they could put on, and I'm thinking why cann't I do that. So I started down this wonderful road. Now I cann't see my self ever giving up this freedom of dual expression. It now has become a major part of my life and I wouldn't change it for anything.

[Jonianne]

I believe we all are part female from conception. We were separated from our female bodies when our genes picked us to become male (a necessity of nature). However, we never fully leave our female side behind and in some of us, our female side is closer to the surface than others. I am happy being male, but I also need to bring my female side to the surface sometimes to see her in the mirror.

[Traceyjo]

I just love the feeling of being sexy, sensuous, feminine and attractive. I get excited being dressed as a girl but maybe it wouldn't be so exciting if it was a normal acceptable practice for males

[deja true]

. . .
My experiences taught me from early on that men are "bad", unreliable, and undesirable. They can not be counted on, they are only motivated my self interest, and are generally weak in character. Since my childhood (OH so long ago) I've learned that this is false. There are good and decent men in the world, and I aspire to be one of them.
Women on the other hand were proud, would do what it took to take care of family, and they were beautiful.

Problem is, by the time I learned that all men were not dogs, and all women were not noble, many of my perceptions had already been set. Wanting so much to be a beautiful and noble person, I started cross dressing around 5 I think. Certainly well before puberty.

My self image also take part in this. I've always felt ugly and unattractive when in male mode. This issue I think is in my head as I look back on my younger photos and ask myself "what the hell were you thinking??!! You were cute!".
When I'm dressed, I think I look pretty, and I know I feel pretty and peaceful.


A little epiphany for me here, as Kimberly has put into words pretty much exactly what has gone around in my head since i was a kid...and haven't been able to grasp.

Only child...broken home...very few men in my young life were 'role model' material. Most were disappointing to me in one way or another. Not neccessarily abusive or brutal, just lacking...lacking in grace and style and feeling. Lacking in appreciation for what seemed important to me...speaking your feelings, showing tenderness and concern, a thrill of pattern and color and special-ness. Their lives were drab and boring.

I was always drawn to the softness of women, the crinkly eyed smile rather than the stern set mouth of the serious men around me. The sweet scent of girls and women, not the acrid smell of exhaust and sweat and cigars. A lilting laugh and tender words accompanying a gentle tousle of hair rather than a barking laugh at a dirty joke and a manly punch on the arm.

The 'man mystique' was a torture to emulate as a growing boy, and mentally pushed me farther and farther from wanting to be a dad or husband or even a regular 'working stiff'. There was no un-hindered self-expression there.

So...it wasn't about wanting to be a sexually attractive man or woman. It was about being the kind of person I wanted to be all along, a person who could cry openly if their feelings were hurt, a person who could point out and talk about gentle, wondrous things in the world, a person who could relate to anyone without it having to be a 'pissing contest' about who was strongest or fastest or most successful or cold drink the most without falling down.

Sorry it's a little off-track, but it's all Kim's fault for waking something up in me...

[switcheralso]

I don't know...

[Adrienne CD]

I think my crossdressing is a result of my profound attraction to women, the way they dress, the fashions they choose etc. I purve on women in a sometimes "unhealthy manner" and mainly concentrate on what they are wearing and how it enhances their looks. Tight pants showing of their arses. A flowing satin dress emphasising their femininity and so on. I far prefer women and are not attracted to men. But heres the conondrum. I also love a big bard ****! Work that out!

[Farrah]

For most of us it started at such an early age. I just think that it is born within us. I know i started when I was about 4 and I didn't know what a crossdresser was. So I believe some of was just born with this gift.

[Rachel Morley]

It's not just the clothes.... I just feel female and want to present that way in every aspect.
This is how it is for me too. It used to be more about the clothes when I was in my 20's, but now I'm older it's much more about "feeling feminine" and thinking and acting on the outside how I feel I am on the inside. But, of course, it's still great fun to be able to all of that and still get to wear cute clothes! :)

[Carly D.]

The loaded question of the milliniumm.. for me, and I rastle with this one constantly, I don't know.. I tried pantyhose on when I was really young and never wanted to stop.. but there is also the feeling of doing something that is not totally accepted by most people.. the thrill and rush of excitement as I wear clothing that is considered by most men to be "taboo" or something.. I know my older brother shops for clothing for his wife and acts like the stuff is sacred or something.. it was one of his shopping sprees that I went on with him that made me feel like why can't I?? why can't I buy clothes for my "girl friend, Carly?" so that kinda helped with my buying anxiety.. and I have bought ever since.. that's a bit off topic but the truth for me about why I crossdress is that.. I don't know why.. I feel I had a normal upbringing in that I had a father and mother and they were very normal.. my dad was a teacher and later was the principal of the grade school, and was quite normal.. my mom was a stay at home mother until we were old enough to go to school then she went back to work.. I don't know what flipped my "perv." switch, but I'm glad it happened...

[Andi]

When you figure it out . . . . . . would you please let the rest of us know?

I don't have a frappin clue why I do it. It just makes me feel right. My wife has tried to "undo" me and I've tried to give it up because of her several times over the past 43 years. I just can't no matter what I do. It is just who I am or should be. Maybe in the next life.
:sad:

[Emily Anderson]

I guess what I'm asking is, is cross dressing born out of a desire for certain men to want to feel like a sexual/attractive person or am I pegging it completely wrong?

It's a lot more complicated than that. From what I understand, many CD's start wearing female clothes before they even have any notion of sex or sexuality. Once sexual awareness is born, crossdressing may involve a sexual element, which may continue throughout life, but is not necessarily a primary driver, or even a driver at all. This is what makes crossdressing a fascinating topic!

I would actually like to take sex out of the equation for a minute because it only muddies the waters, and say this: There are those of us who dress to attract the opposite sex, those who dress to attract the same sex, those who want to attract both, and those who are attracted to themselves. Beyond this, there are those who just happen to like wearing female clothes because that's what they like.

Go figure!

In summary, I think you are trying to "box in" crossdressers as a finite entity, whereas in reality we are a very diverse crowd with varying motivations, in the same way as any other cross-section of society.

[Sarah...]

I crossdress because I want my personality to look how it feels. Attracting others has been secondary, I always wanted to look at myself and feel sexy. It was as simple as that.

However, now that I have caught my SO checking me out while wandering around in some really cute lingerie the attracting others thing has appeared. I want my SO to look at me and luurrrve me!!

So now I'm getting even more complex and I'm loving it, so who cares!!!

Hugs

Sarah...

[VirginiaX23]

Why? If I knew then I'd write a book about it and go on Oprah and she'd love me and we'd be best friends and go shopping together.

What I do know is that I have a level of comfort wearing women's clothing and, when I am wearing them, mentally transitioning into a female mindset, that makes me content in a way I never am in drab. I sleep better in a nightie and I am a more affectionate husband as well. It just makes me a better person to be able to access the kinder, better person who I am when I allow myself to be a girl.

[LilSissyStevie]

The :devil: makes me do it. There's no use fighting it. It's not my fault. Go along, get along I always say. I'm just following orders.
:love:

[Sylviatg]

Because I like to, need to and want to! And I like the attention too! Especially hunky guys.

[MalibuJenny]

It's pretty much all sexual for me...

Dressing gives me a sexual thrill.


It's also fun and an escape and draws attention and compliments. And I can find it relaxing because it totally frees my mind from just about everything else.

But those things are all secondary to the erotic charge.

[emmicd]

I crossdress because I am compelled to.

It all started when I was 5 years old and I had the overwhelming desire to try on my sisters bathing suit in secret.

I fell in love with girls clothes that very day.

I played baseball when I was a young kid and was good at it participating in little league.

I knew I was a boy and just felt cool that I could secretly wear girls clothes and not tell anyone.

I have worn girls clothes all throughout my years and have gone through periods of stopping but still to this very day I still have this overwhelming desire to wear a girls bathing suit and even dresses.

I still do it in secret.

I also consider myself pretty normal though I crossdress.

I always loved girls and am happily married with a kid.

I would never push my crossdressing on anyone.

It is however a part of who I am even though it is my secret.

[Kay.C]

Why ...cause I love feeling like a girl and feeling sexy.I dont feel sexy at all in mens clothes.

[crusadergirl]

I been thinking about this question for awhile now. I like the look women have. And that i have always wanted to have that look and feel like i was one of them.

[CD Susan]

I do not know why I crossdress. All I know is that I like to do it and it just feels natural for me to want to do it. I discovered this part of me when I was five years old and have been doing it for 55 years. I have tried to quit many times but I can't do it. I am comfortable with this part of me and would not want to be any other way. I did not choose to be this way, I was born this way.

[Jonianne]

I like to crossdress because I have a need to see my self as female, on occasion. I guess its the connection to the female part of who I am. I also have a need to express that part of who I am to close GG's. I love it when they see me as not being totaly just a guy but someone who also can relate to them, if only on a small level. I always enjoyed being around the company of smart girls. And besides, women's cloths are a lot more fun then guys!

[renee k]

Well for me it's who I am, Since an early age I've enjoyed my femme side. I like the clothes, I like the feeling it gives me and I feel more comfortable and confident as Renee. Just wish I followed my heart and not what society dictated, who I should be. Now I'm just trying to balance both lives. I guess that's what Libra's do best.

Huggs, Renee

[StephanieH]

Simply because I'm compelled to do so... always have been. First did it in the 4th grade, had inclinations to do so before that, so it's not neccesarily something sexual. I believe it's just the way some of us are wired up. Some of us have more female hormones (or whatever) than other guys, and thus, we're drawn to "girly" things from day one. I think it's as simple as that.

Take care and God bless! :D

[xoAmandaxo85]

I love it because it makes me feel alot better about myself than when i am in my guy mode...and when im dressed up its like i never want to go back to my guy mode...and when im not amanda it just feels so wrong being in guy mode

[rian]

I think just feeling you are a part of a female gendre arouse a nice feeling in our selves , I do not think just wearing to look sexy is the reason , on the contrary we dress to look like a woman no matter what does it reflects...

[Sarah Doepner]

Oh my dear, I've thought about this for a very long time and have a raft of reasons. Most of them have been addressed in this thread already.
1- I started early before it could have been sexual and while I still had valid male role models.
2- Later I had a lack of good male role models as I moved into puberty.
3- I found the feel and look of women's clothes very stimulating.
4- Looking in the mirror and seeing my female self for the first time was a tremendous shock. I'd been looking for her for years and never knew it. Somehow I'd been reunited with the other part of my personality.
5- As Sarah I have no bills, no adult children with problems, no conflicts at work and can pay attention to me and my needs. It's a little selfish, but it is a part of my life that has been neglected outside my crossdressing life. It is self-validation that I can be something special, as defined as attractive. Something I don't feel when not crossdressed.
6- It plays into my fantasy world as I watch the change take place. I think we are expected to grow out of our love of fantasy, but I belive it povides a source of hope for the future and in times like these, that is important.
7- Crossdressing provides a different point of view on sexuality and sensuality. Again, something missing from my male world. This sensual experience was part of the positive reinforcement that accompanied my early crossdressing years. It's hard to fight against that kind of conditioning.
8- I love the clothes, and the makeup, and the feel of my body and shoes and jewelry and did I say the clothes and shoes?
9- I crossdress because I don't want to change my gender permanently, only now and again, and again, and again.

I'm sure there are more and more precise explainations about. You could probably get a bell curve for each one of the reasons and each one of us would be at a different point on them all, either agreeing or disagreeing. In other words, there is no single reason, but a diverse mix that ranges across the board. We are complex critters, no doubt about that.

[xoAmandaxo85]

i forgot another reason why i dress is because in my teen years my dad left my mom at an early age so it was always me and my mom and my grandma and i was outnumbered by girls so i gradually started doing the stuff that they did and then i was like maybe i should dress like them to so i started doing that to without them knowing

[Holly]

All of the above. Seriously. Trying to nail down why a group so large and diverse as we are do what we do is like asking farmers why they like to farm.

Sometimes I like to think that we are a bit more socially aware than the average person and that we realize that it is wrong to too tightly define gender (feminine=nurturing, masculine=provider, etc.) and when a member of one gender displays characteristics of the other, they are deemed "abnormal." Society has been wrong before... segregation, treatment of GLBT persons, and so on. In every instance, members of these so-called "outcasts" have proved that they can and DO make positive and substantial contributions to the society that shunned them. As members of the transgendered community we yet to reach that place of acceptance but we keep working on it.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I just recently started to CD,but I always admired women's clothing.With help from my wife,I finally decided to do it and went online to order a wig,etc when I dressed up for the first time,I felt great and it was stimulating!

As one member posted earlier,I do it because of my strong attraction to women. I'm 100% heterosexual,don't have any desire to be with men and I still and always will like being a male also.


My wife said to me as a joke that maybe I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.:heehee:

[Sally1979ct]

Crossdressing for me > Well i just love the choice of clothing and the feel of wearing them. I hate men's clothes now and that's maybe because ive got so much used to women's clothes.

Sally :)

[sloane]

I think there`s a lot of reasons to do it... But every one has our personals feelings. Its true that a sexy woman prompt a great sensation that we want to feel too...

Starting with that, add the sexy clothes, heels, lingerie and stockings, is a real feeling of sexy woman. Who don`t want be near or share feelings with a sexy woman?? anyone!!! Im shure that if youre are men or woman or anything, be near a sexy woman is the best.

If you can be sexy for a while... would be great!!!

[KateSpade83]

In my early cd years I crossdressed mainly for sexual fetish, and still do. After joining this site, losing weight, and getting a wig and breastform my cding evolve into more! I now see myself as a woman in a full length mirror and enjoy shopping as such. Now I see how I'd look if I were born a woman. And wearing every type of clothes make me know how it feels to wear such sexy items! I've always wondered what it was like to wear school girl, cheerleader, and nice skirt suits!

[Patty]

Why??? There are alot of reasons as most have shared. I love my fem side, dressing almost daily etc etc

[Jilmac]

Hi Natalie, and welcome to the forum. I started dressing seroiusly at age 15, before that, was a lot of experimintation with my three older sisters' clothes. The first time I ever wore anything feminine was at age 7 when a cousin dared me to wear panties and a dress. I have loved the look and feel of feminine clothes ever since and I'm 63 now. When I was younger there was a sexual rush every time I put on panties or girdle, bra or slip. Now the feeling is more sensual, dressing puts me into a whole different state of mind. I enjoy the male and the female sides of me and believe I have the best of both worlds. I think you're going to have a difficult time trying to figure out why we crossdress. There are a multitude of reasons, and nobody has nailed down any specific reason yet. I dress because I love it, plain and simple.
Luv and :hugs: Jill

[pixitrace]

I'm in my relatively early years of crossdressing...and don't crossdress all that often. I am still more comfortable in men's clothing, enjoy living as a man, playing sports, etc. I have not (yet) felt I was born into the wrong gender, and might never feel that way.

In my case, particularly very early on, I dressed up for the sexy, taboo thrill. Thrill of the unknown, and the thrill of "being" something totally different. I would get that urge, get dressed up, and feel things that I could not as a guy.

Over time, I'm realizing that beyond the thrill aspect, crossdressing is also a visual and tactile treat - one that I almost pity most men for never getting to experience.

[Celeste]

I do it because of its ability to take me somewhere else without ever leaving me.Just as if I'd experienced an out of the body experience ,leaving my male self behind, I find the feelings that go along with that fascinating.I can have it be sexual if I want or need it to go there,I like that as well.I think I've described in previous post about the rush being unique and of its own,like no other state of mind I've ever been in, where I control it without alcohol or drugs.Just a clean and natural release that no one else really needs to understand unless they choose.

[Sheri 4242]

You are essentially asking the question that generations of cross dressers and PH D's have failed to answer definitively - what makes a cross dresser?

I suspect this is one of those questions where you ask 100 different people and get 100 different answers, but I'll give you mine as well as I am able.


From what I understand, many CD's start wearing female clothes before they even have any notion of sex or sexuality. Once sexual awareness is born, crossdressing may involve a sexual element, which may continue throughout life, but is not necessarily a primary driver, or even a driver at all. This is what makes crossdressing a fascinating topic!

I would actually like to take sex out of the equation for a minute because it only muddies the waters, and say this: There are those of us who dress to attract the opposite sex, those who dress to attract the same sex, those who want to attract both, and those who are attracted to themselves. Beyond this, there are those who just happen to like wearing female clothes because that's what they like.

In summary, I think you are trying to "box in" crossdressers as a finite entity, whereas in reality we are a very diverse crowd with varying motivations, in the same way as any other cross-section of society.

You've been given some broadminded thoughts on the why question. Kim really nailed it in my opinion! I started CDing at about age 3-4. Others did too, and others didn't -- until later in life. Re-read what Emily said because it highlights that we are all different. There could be a magical VS store for men, as you suggest in your hypothetical, and I, along with many here I think, would still shop the regular VS stores b/c in a major way it has alot to do with the feminine clothing that makes us whole!!!

[sarahNZ]

personally for me i know i have michelle within and have no qualms with letting michelle be michelle at times..its fun and i truly enjoy every aspect of my female side..furthermore i am completely at peace with who i am..i will not change my sex (male) nor am i going to ignore who i am..i am at peace with who i am and am very happy...even if i wanted to stop i could not and why should i try to supress who i am?..that would just lead to misery...and for the record..im 100% hetero..

I couldn't agree moor Michele. every thing you said makes perfect sense to me!!! Why feel bad about who you are just because some disagree?
Personally Natalie I just like the way it makes me feel... happy!

[ringedjohn]

It gives me an erotic, sexual thrill.

I do not want to go out in public - and could never pass anyway. But I love wearing panties, girdles, hose, slips - and a bra. And earrings in my multi-pierced ears.

I just like it - and have never tried to analyse it any further.

[TerriM]

I think every CD asks himself that question. I had searched for the answer for many years. About 9 years ago I realized that there is no answer or I will never find out the answer. And then I thought that even if I did find the answer what would it change? Coming to that realization gave me some inner peace. I just know I love being dressed. I love going out shopping, dining, etc. But I also know that I love hugging my grandkids and being a father and sometimes doing very macho things. Life is full of questions that there are no answers to. Like when a child dies, or when bad things happen to good people. Thats my 2 cents

[LovelyRita]

Lets see.. I started about the age of 3 or 4 trying on some dresses and got stuck and my mom had to help me outof it. She has told me that I did that several times but I can only remember once. I dont know where the clothes came from ...no girl cousin or a sister until I was six. So at twelve I was finally old enough to be home alone. And quickly quickly got the idea to go through mom's stuff.

Had an active loving father and brother. Played a few years of little league baseball then joined band.

But from birth on was often mistaken for a girl or heard my mom being told "oh look at those eyes, that one should have been a girl.":battingeyelashes:

What do I get from CDing... a comfort inside myself. I have yet to be able to release my fem side fully. I have had to many years of hiding it from others. I was a crybaby and soft hearted as a child and still will get emotional at a movie but there is a hard shell that wont let it reach the outside.

[Lauren Gray]

I guess what I'm asking is, is cross dressing born out of a desire for certain men to want to feel like a sexual/attractive person or am I pegging it completely wrong?

For me, cross dressing is a way of expressing a part of who I am. I can feel sexual/attractive when I am in male mode just as well as in fem mode. The difference is that when I put on a dress and heels it is more to complete that feminine side of me that does not have a chance to be expressed out in daily life.

[Mydia]

I do it so that my outside can reflect my inside.

It makes me somewhat more comfortable in my body, even though I know that I'm still physically a guy.

[Andi]

I don't know why, it just feels like who I am and what I'm supposed to do. Dumb answer?? It's all I have. :daydreaming:

[slicky]

i do it for sexual gratification. i dont know that why but it just feels better in womens clothes.

[dianarg]

Because I want to feel girly and cute. It's amazing what a cocktail dress and some makeup can do!

[dianarg]

Oh Yeah... also because I want pretty men to notice me

[Love-B]

To me it's weird, but I crossdress because I think is "a must" for me. I feel better and more comfortable wearing women stuff, and they suit me better. It's something like breathing; when I'm forced to dress "full-male" I'm a sad person and feel very uncomfortable... I wish I could burn all of my male clothes... but I can't for now...

[valenstein]

[QUOTE=yms;1333534]

Do gay men regard women as symbols of sexuality?

Yes. Kylie Minogue.

[emmicd]

I dress in womens clothes because they outwardly express how I feel inside.

I am more relaxed and content in a dress.

emmi