depression help

[Ayame]

So lately I've been kinda depressed mostly apathetic. I'm 22 and I still live at home with my parents, I can't find a job, I have a hernia that I will eventually need surgery on and stomach problems and the meds for my stomach cost about 100 bucks a month since I don't have insurance, I applied for insurance but recently found out I was denied, I'm trying to go back to school but if financial aid doesn't help to much with the bills I'm not sure thats gonna happen, I'm still in the closet about cross dressing, and I feel most my friends aren't really my friends since most would probably never accept me. I feel as if I don't really have any real friends in the area. It also seems my gf who I love more than anything lately hasn't been giving me enough attention and not getting the normal amount of attention when your depressed just makes you fall deeper in the hole and I feel as if I keep doing nothing she will eventually dump me and I don't really want to bring this stuff up to her because I don't want her worrying about me and also no one really likes a depressed whiny person. However who can blame her I'd prob dump someone if they sat around and did nothing for 2 months. I don't even have a car and even if I did I wouldn't even be able to afford it. It also seems everyone I know is on my ass for me to do things and they give me crap for not doing anything but I don't think they truly understand how hard it is for me. Like I am trying I just ain't really getting anywhere.

I don't believe in taking meds or going to therapy and I don't really have money to spend on things to try and get rid of this. I've always been a strong person and a lot of people look up to me but recently I can't really even motivate myself to do simple things. I also think that on occasion I've been having minor anxiety attacks.

Anyone have any advice they can give me to help me motivate myself or get my mind off of things. Anything anyone tried doing that ended up working for them?

Thanks ahead of time for your help and support.

[Aurora27]

I've had 2 'episodes' in my life where I was totally overcome by panic attacks - major, quite debilitating ones for weeks and months on end - and the subsequent depression and apathy. I'll tell you, from my experience, it is VERY hard to try and beat it on your own. You should talk to someone, especially your girlfriend cos if she cares for you in any way she will want to help even if it is sitting and listening to you whinge, and she may be offended that you kept it from her. I'm against meds/therapy too, but I went to therapy 2 or 3 times, and it really helped because therapists can give you ways to rearrange your thinking patterns, and once you feel a little better stop going. It doesn't make you a mental case who needs help for the rest of your life.

Also naturapaths can help, because in my case it was partly related to an imbalance in my bodies systems - I have a sweet tooth and my body runs naturally high on adrenaline so when the 2 combined it was like an overload, plus I was lacking in some nutrients.

As for the motivation, well its hard but sometimes you just have to push your way through and do things anyway. Hard work is good, stuff that takes a lot of concentration and strength (furniture removal worked for me) and by the end of it you find you haven't even thought about your issues and all the strain on your body fills you with endorphins and leaves you too tired to be properly depressed.

As for the situation, well I recommended to my friend in a similar one, just find ANY job, even if its packing shelves in a grocery store twice a week, and at least thats a start and you have something do and keep you going a little until something better comes along.

Hope I helped...

[sandra-leigh]

It sounds to me as if you probably have clinical depression. Having been there myself, I'd say that chances are good that your body (and more to the point, brain) chemistry are not what they should be.

Anxiety, apathy, low initiative; and reading between the lines, mood swings (mostly to "bad mood"), and likely difficulty getting out of the house. And you probably sometimes (often) feel like you will never be well again. (Unlike, say, a cold, where you know that although you are sick, in a few days you will be better.)

The anxiety in particular hints to me that your depression is not just "Going through a bad period", but rather a medical condition.

You say that you don't believe in taking meds. If you had a bad infection in your arm, would you get it treated?

Regardless: my recommendation would be that you get your doctor to order a series of tests to determine what parts of your body chemistry (if any) are unusual. With the information in hand, you can form treatment plans that are most acceptable to you, whether that be naturopath, homeopath, vitamins, herbs, or standard medications. For example, apparently depression is often associated with low B12: if that is the case for you, you can address that through a bit of change in your diet.

The single biggest help for me was the anti-anxiety medication: with the anxiety under control, the world was much easier to face. Someone I know suggested that magnolia bark was remarkably effective for similar purposes, but I have no first-hand knowledge of that.

I've used several different anti-depressants; I'm not sure that any of them was "best"; some of them had side effects that were enough to take me off of them (e.g.,, one made me overeat quite noticeably starting almost immediately; another slowly drove up my craving for carbohydrates so I was getting slowly fatter on it.)


This thread will, I suspect, get moved to "Body Issues".

[Joanne f]

I can see that you are feeling down at the moment but if you look at your problems one at a time things might not seam as bad as you think .
At 22 yrs you are still young and it is not unusual for your age to still be at home ,
I know that you could really do with a job at the moment and i am sure one will turn up soon for you .
I know we have the NHS here so i do not know about difficulties in paying for care, but you have a medical problem that can be sorted out at some time .
You might feel that your friends are not really your friends, i can`t answer that one , but it is important that you do not close yourself off from them and that would go for your girlfriend and parents as well , friends and family are there do be used when you need them so let them let you use them to help you through this , tell them how you feel .
I agree with you to a degree about going on medicines as if you are not careful you can end up relying on them long term , but some people some times need just a short boost to help them start to cope again , so do not feel bad if you have to do that .
As i have said all your problems are sortable so just think positive and deal with them one at a time . good luck

joanne

[Edyta_C]

I suffered from depression. While I am not fond of medications, many times there are drugs that will help. The there three problems with medications like these: 1) cost 2) finding ones with low side effects 3) many individuals are stuck taking these for ever. I found meds that have low side effects. For the moment I have insurance paying form them. They have helped tremendously. So much that all of my acquaintances and friends noticed the change in my manner. After several years on the meds, I have been able to reduce the amount of meds I take. Part of the change is not due to the drugs. During therapy I opened up to my wife about my CD behavior. She accepts it within limits and that has helped me. Based on my limited experience (of me), I would have to suggest trying this course of action. I'd hate for you to lose your GF.

hugs Edyta

[abundantly_me]

Sometimes it takes baby steps to get us going, other times we just have to take that giant leap of faith.

To help with your depression, is there a place you love to go to? that brings you joy, or comfort. I suggest going there, it will ease the times when you are really down.

I also found what works well for me - a change of pace, a new adventure, and adventures truly don't have to cost anything.

don't wait for another day, remember each moment is a new beginning with an adventure waiting to happen.

[DonnaT]

Try using St. Johns Wort (http://www.hypericum.com/) and/or SAMe (http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/depression/treatment/alternative/sam-e.asp).