Patience in accepting my CDing

[Theo1953]

Hi, I'm new to this site. My SO told me about it. She went looking on the web as soon as she found out about my crossdressing. I have never told anyone about it, and have been dressing since early childhood (about 45yrs). She was accepting to a point, and this finally validated my dressing. I was no longer ashamed about it, especially after reading the threads on your great site. In celibration, I shaved from the neck down including armpits (I could never understand why we humans have hair there anyway). She was OK with it, but when I asked later how she felt (I know, I should have asked first), she said "I wouldn't like it if you did it all the time." I guess I was hoping she would love it and would encourage me to show her more of my CD side. Now I feel that I went too far. I hope in time she'll show more interest. I guess I should just cool it for awhile.:brolleyes:

[Emily Anderson]

Hi Theo and welcome to the group!

It seems you've been through the same experience as many of us... A step too far, too fast. But not to worry. Settle down, read the posts, and you'll soon see that there are lots of very welcoming and helpful people around.

[tricia_uktv]

Take your time hon, you are right to take a step back. I lost my SO, who was initially interested, because I did too much at home. Is it possible for you to do it away from home? Good luck

[abundantly_me]

Although we may be accepting of crossdressing, and yes we do try to be understanding. Don't forget that many of us love you, for the man that you are. (including but not limited) to characteristic of being male such as the hair on your chest, or legs and other parts of your anatomy.

[Sedona]

Yep, it's all about compromises. Nothing wrong with presenting a red herring.

[Sarah...]

My SO and I found out that this was a really significant step in our life together. Go slowly, talk, enjoy, understand her feelings. This is sooooo important for both of you. I'm still only smooth-skinned from the waist down as my SO always loved my body hair. I can go with that - it doesn't fit my self-image but that isn't as important as our relationship. I still get to feel and respond emotionally as my full, female self.

Take it easy girl!

Sarah...

[Theo1953]

Thanks for the insight. I really value the input from the GG's.

[Daintre]

Hi Theo, I guess you learned a valuable lesson, go slow. You have to remember that although you are very excited and want it all right now, to your SO, this is all new and very scary. You have an accepting SO and I would suggest that you keep a good line of communication open with her. It is quite something though to shave for that first time isn't it? :)

[carhill2mn]

It is a good idea to give your wife plenty of time to accept the "new you". Let her take the lead as to how often and how far she is willing to deal with you while en femme.

[Jonianne]

Hi Theo,

Welcome to the site.

I'm a new member here myself. Apparently we are nearly the same age and similar crossdressing past. I was 7 when I started.
You are very blessed to have a SO that is willing to go this journey with you and directed you to this forum.

Yes, very definatly go slow with her and yourself. Talk together with her. She needs the security that she is not losing her man. How wonderful it is to have a wife who is accepting and will participate with you from time to time. If the price is having certain limits on the crossdressing that makes her feel safe, it is well worth it. My wife and I spent a lot of time talking about boundries and we have agreed on certain things. If I violate our agreement on them, she has the right to ask "what is going on?"
And the boundries will change from time to time as well as her feelings. Sometimes she may not want to have to deal with the cd'ing. Thats OK, she may need her space. I try to be sensitive to that with my wife. Other times my wife has suggested that we go out together, and what a wonderful time that is. She may never get to that point, thats OK too. What is important to me is to maintain a great relationship with my wife in all aspects of our life.

Knowing that my wife is accepting is enough.

Knowing that she is supporting is great.

Having my wife participate is awesome!

[Paula_S]

Although we may be accepting of crossdressing, and yes we do try to be understanding. Don't forget that many of us love you, for the man that you are. (including but not limited) to characteristic of being male such as the hair on your chest, or legs and other parts of your anatomy.

For example, I have an agreement that I can borrow SO's epilator for legs, but must leave my macho chest hair alone.

[Sandra]

Well it's already been said take it a little slower. These things cannot be rushed and it won't happen over night, it may take weeks, months or even years. Talk to your SO and try to work out a compromise, it's not as if she's said "you can't do" it full stop, just not to do it all the time, so work on that.

[Angie G]

Theo you newbies must do more reading before you do stuff like that.How meny time have we told you girls to go SLOW AND DON'T PUSH IT!It's for your one good.AND COME TO US BEFORE YOU DO THINS YOU MY BE SORRY FOR. :hugs:
Angie

[Theo1953]

I'm quickly learning to make maximum use of this site before I make anymore moves in exposing my CD side to my SO. Thanks again for all the good advice.

[Claire3]

My willpower isnt that strong.I was constantely trying to push the set boundaries to see how far i could go and what i could get away with.It wasnt a good idea.Take on board all previous advice and you'll be ok