I done it...First time out shopping enfemme.

[CLARRISA]

..And not without a lot fear and 1 very hair raising moment, glad i done it but relieved to be home..Heres my story:- Got a few days off from work and decided that today i'll stay dressed and completely experience being a woman for a day. I had my breast forms adhered from last night and am on the last drops of glue so i didn't want to remove them.

When i got up, i put on girl jeans and t-shirt, did make up and hair, then i thought "oh gawd, i need this and that from the shops how can i do it?" i felt trapped so i removed every thing and went out semi enfemme.
When i got back in i put the wig back on and re-did make up..then i felt trapped again "why can't i just go out when i want ? how i want?" i thought, whats stopping me? ...its that fear of bumping straight into and making eye contact with one of the neighbours,expeciously the nosey one next door.

After lots of agonising, trying on different things, making sure the wig was on right, beard as covered as possible, worrying about what may happen, changing my mind, it was a nightmare but finally i thought "oh, to hell with it, and out i went".

The walk to the car was scary, and then i drove to Bluewater shopping centre. At first i was just going to walk through the car park, turn round and go home, but seeing my reflection in other car windows gave me a confidence boost. i stubbed out my cigarette and headed straight for Marks And Spencers.

I weaved through the clothes aisles, looked at a few items, saw myself in one of the mirrors and felt good. There were only a few times i felt i was being read, but on the whole people just didn't seem to care, no remarks, nothing. I went to claires and bought some sandals, went outside, sat down, tryed them on and went home. When i got in i was on a high, it was one of those big CD obstacles i finaly overcome. Trouble was, i wanted more.

The time was about 14:20, and i felt i needed to get out again. I was aware that school will finish at 15:00 so i mustn't stray too far...Anyway out i went again, pink top, jeans,my new sandals, blonde wig,make up and handbag, the full nine yards. I went to Matalan, looked at some items, saw myself in the mirrors again and had the thought "god i am a women". It seemed no effort to walk through the store but i just couldn't musta the courage to buy something especially since i'd have to use the store card...After that i went to B&Q to see the cost of fences..again no problems, i actualy started to relax and got into the mind set that actually I AM A WOMAN and i'm just out doing little errands like anyone else.....

The Hairy Moment:-

I got back to mine just b4 15:00 but as i drove down my street who did i see? Mr Nosey neighbour out washing his car, i thought "oh Sh*t, thats gonna take him ages, so i kept driving, then i noticed all the children with there parents streaming out of the schools..i could feel myself panicing but i kept telling myself "i'm a woman,i'm a woman its ok you can do this, just concentrate on the driving". I drove back down my street and i couldn't see him..but as i drove passed his vehicle i could see that he was polishing under the dashboard..It was a tight window of opportunity and i took it..Parked up, grabbed my things and walked back down the street..I kept myself out of his view by walking towards the tree thats outside my door. Once i got close to the tree i turned straight down my side ally..and i was out of danger..pheww!...

Even after all this though, i still haven't got that care free feeling, of just popping out when l like, right now i wish i could just go and sit in the garden, or nip to my newsagent, but i'm so relieved and glad that i've had the shopping out enfemme experience, its a historical moment for me.....

Sorry for such a long story..i just wanted to share this experience with you all..

[Deborah Jane]

Congratulations Clarrisa, thats a great story and very inspiring to those of us who still haven,t managed to go shopping yet in broad daylight yet. [Dusk and evenings only so far for me]
I bet if your nosy neighbour had looked up and seen you going past, he wouldn,t have realised it was you and thought that you just had a woman visiting!!

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Clarrisa,

I'm glad to hear that you can finally went out femme. I can't do that because I know alot people in my area and I'd rather keep it on the DL. If I ever do decide to go out femme,I'll have to do in another city.

[DonnaT]

Four little magic words, "to hell with it".

Congratulations.

[Sally1979ct]

Good on yah Girl ! I hope to soon and will share my Experience on here soon

Sally x

[Chari]

Good for you Clarrisa! It is a heart pounding thrill to go out shopping as your feminine self, and you took that giant leap! Each time you go out, keep your attitude high and be comfortable in who you are! Maybe you should wear dark sunglasses so Mr. Nosey won't recognize you when you pass him.

[tricia_uktv]

YAY YAY YAY. Second time is better. I'll tell you about the third and fourth next week. Bet your on cloud nine hon, hugs

[antonia_bee]

A MASSIVE well done honey!
I had a similar experience when I went out first. I feel exactly the same."why can't I just go out the way I want?" "Why can't I dress the way I want!"
Trust me, the only way is up. The more you go out, the more confidence you get...

The very best of luck
xx

[CLARRISA]

Thanks for your replies, your're not wrong, my confidence has grown, i've just come back from ASDA-walmart,had 0 problems, no horrible "looks of death" from people, no pointing fingers, i thought for sure i'd hear people whispering in the queue, nothing, people were just going about their business, and so was i..coming out of the car just now and walking up the street felt so good i totally relaxed and strode and swayed with confidence..awesome experience, i had to do it cos its been on my mind for so long nagging at me....thanks again x x

[Amy Hepker]

I am glad you enjoyed it, I know you will do it again

[Emily Anderson]

Well Clarrisa, it sounds like you had a great time and enjoyed it thoroughly!

Good on you for taking that first step out there.

[CD Susan]

Congratulations Clarrisa!! I know how scary it is going out shopping for the first time. I sounds like you pulled it off perfectly and enjoyed yourself emmensely. Like everyone says it gets easier the next time and just as much fun if not more. I am so proud of you.

[Abbie63]

Marrissa you are inspiring to all of us. I would love to go shopping en femme and finally believe I am ready since I now understand I will not be stopped just because people might read me.

Looking at your Avatar I think you are prettier than I, but girls come in all sizes and shapes and I will not continue to be ashamed or worried about if I can pull it off.

Keep the faith.

Abbie63

[ErikaLadyoftheDesert]

You showed the bravery for us all. I am at that point where I am really wanting to go out as Erika, but also have a nosey neighbor problem. He is my wife's son, actually. I plan to time my shopping experience around his work schedule, so I know he won't see me.

Thanks for the uplifting story,

It gives me great encouragement. :heehee:

[bobbie_1048]

YAY YAY YAY. Second time is better. I'll tell you about the third and fourth next week. Bet your on cloud nine hon, hugs


A MASSIVE well done honey!
I had a similar experience when I went out first. I feel exactly the same."why can't I just go out the way I want?" "Why can't I dress the way I want!"
Trust me, the only way is up. The more you go out, the more confidence you get...

The very best of luck
xx


Congratulations Clarrisa!! I know how scary it is going out shopping for the first time. I sounds like you pulled it off perfectly and enjoyed yourself emmensely. Like everyone says it gets easier the next time and just as much fun if not more. I am so proud of you.

Hiya Clarrisa :) I know how happy you are after taking that first giant step. I remember how nervous I was the first time, Believe me when I tell you that it keeps getting better every time you go out. I still only go to certain stores locally cause the whole state is like a small town where everybody knows everyone else. On the bright side I can take a pick of 3 states I can be at in 15 minutes and I most certainly make the best of that. I can't wait to hear of your next venture out. Have yourself a blast. :bighug: bobbie

[carolyn todd]

well done clarrisa out and about in the day light does give you a wonderful feeling, well done.

carolyn xx

[Nancy (PA)]

Clarissa: are there any "alternative shops" where you live, where you could just mingle with like minded shoppers?

[debbeelee1]

Good going Clarrisa! I'll bet you are still on cloud 9!

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah it is fun going out dressed. A whole new experience. And yeah, as long as you act confident, no one will notice.

For driving around, well, most people don't seem to pay attention to cars anyways so no one saw you.

When you said Mr Nosey was out washing his car, I thought of that old subway commercial where some guy is dressed as a cheerleader, dancing and washing his car, and he tells the onlookers "It's OK, I had subway for lunch".
Funnier than heck. :heehee: You know you could have said that and he would have been like "OH, OH ok, well no big thing, now what did I do with that armor-all....?

[AKAMichelle]

Wow! That is a story of encouragement if I ever heard of one. I hope to be able to write my own story by the end of the month.

I have dreamed of that day since I was 8 years old. You Go Girl!! :D

Michelle

[KateSpade83]

The best thing about shopping in drag is trying out the clothes before you buy to see if they fit or look good on you! Prevents lots of wasted time and money!

[joann07]

Good for you girl!
I'm glad you had a great time.
I went through similar experiences, but as you go out more, the more you'll build up your confidence and things won't seem nerve wracking anymore.
Keep it up.

Hugs!