Would you tell a str8 man?

[tgirlinva]

I have never been out in public, but I was wondering the following:

If you were 110% passable and you went to a public place (i.e. a bar) and got hit by a straight man who wants to flirt with you. Would you not tell and flirt back? Would you tell, make sure he's okay with it, then flirt?

[Emily Anderson]

I wouldn't flirt because I don't believe in deceiving people. I wouldn't tell either. It's none of his business.

[Leslie Foxx]

I've been flirted with, although I'm pretty sure I had been read. Didn't seem to bother him. I did flirt back. This was in a very accepting venue. A cafe that is frequented by many variants.

In general, if it goes beyond flirtation, honesty is the best policy.

[Niya W]

Well no need to tell unless you are going to do more than flirt.

[Tina Dixon]

Oh I would play the game thats for sure.

[tricia_uktv]

110% passable. Not sure about that. The man will know - but if he doesn't, then what happens?

[Amy Hepker]

I don't want to be hit on by Males

[Natalia]

:tongueout

[Niya W]

I don't want to be hit on by Males

I just politely tell him not interested in men.

[Deborah Jane]

I,d tell him...After i,d had my free drink :drink::heehee:

[KateSpade83]

I only go shopping in drag, never a bar. And men give me the looks so I wear a ring to pretend I'm married.

[linnea]

I would definitely enjoy the flirtation, but I would tell him (I guess after I get the drink).

[Stormgirl]

Yes I would tell him,I'd never lead anybody on like that.

[sissystephanie]

1. I do go out dressed, but not trying to pass!
2. As a Diabetic, I rarely drink.
3. Even considering 1 and 2, I have had men try to "Flirt" with me in a bar.
4. I may dress like a female, but there still is a male underneath! I don't do men!!

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[boy2girl31]

When I am in drab I tell the women I meet about my cd'ing. So if I passed (that's a big IF) I would tell as well. If you were a straight man who didn't dress would you want to know?

[christid66]

Yes I would tell him,I'd never lead anybody on like that.

Completely agree.....I wouldn't want to be led on.

Plus if a man ever did hit on me, I'd be too busy stroking his guide (seeing eye) dog :heehee:

[Sheri 4242]

When I am in drab I tell the women I meet about my cd'ing. So if I passed (that's a big IF) I would tell as well. If you were a straight man who didn't dress would you want to know?

Bingo! You've got to tell if you're honest and forthcoming!

[CD Susan]

I believe in honesty over anything else so if a man was hitting on me i would make it known right from the start. Of course 'the start' would probably be after that free drink.

[DawnRodgers]

Definitely have to tell them. Usually when I meet a man he knows that I am a TV. He has been told before we meet. If he didn't know, I would have to inform him as soon as possible. Don't want him to find out otherwise.

[tamarav]

From the responses I see here it is obvious to me that most of you do not go out to bars in drab and hit on women. I would assume that you give women more respect than the average male. After saying that, I have to explain that my sisters (actuall GGs) and I discuss this situation quite a bit, having watched them drag men around like puppets by their tongues.

Typical bar stool men expect to get left there by the women they hit on probably 99.3% of the time. They have a different outlook on women and simply go by percentages, i.e., if I hit on enough women, one will finally take pity and sleep with me. They are very used to being played with and toyed with to a certain degree before they are left high and dry.

As a male I did not perform this behavior, I am just like the people responding, I have a great deal more respect for women than the typical male does.

However, I have been hit on by men while dressed a number of times and have carried my end of the conversation as a woman to the breaking point with them with ease. It is a game that they play and women play even better. Men are looking for something,and women have it. Its pretty simple.

It is not really considered rude or ill mannered by the women I know or have been raised with to "toy" with men and watch them twitch, just to let them twitch. That is part of the man/woman game that goes on all the time. The problem is that we as new women have not played this game our entire lives and tend to fall apart when a man makes a pass as us. We simply don't have the experience or attention GGs have been dealing with this since age 8 or so. No one really admired us or made over us in an apparent effort to get something from us. We are dreadfully inexperienced.

My sister and I have been out many times and I have watched her play coy and cute with men as if playing with a puppy, not rude or mean or anything like that but just playing, then off you go. Men that hit on women expect a certain percentage of this, it is the way it works. You male types (myself included) simply haven't done that to women because we respect them more than the guys that do this behavior.

It is ok to flirt with guys that hit on you, you just have to learn to play the game if you want to truly pass as a woman. If you merely want to go out and have fun without being seriously hit on, stay out of the meat market bars and lounges, 'cause it will happen to every woman that goes in, regardless, it is part of the "game".

Or, you can look at this way. If and when you ever hit on a woman, did she disclose her drug habit or her tendency to beat men, or her 8 children, or her drug habit, or her current husband, or her two boyfriends, or so on . Get the picture? This is a social situaion where neighter party reveal everything right up front. That is what dating is for, to find out all that other stuff. So this isn't a date, it is just flirting.

That's my take on it.

Tami

[MsJanessa]

I've been flirted with, although I'm pretty sure I had been read. Didn't seem to bother him. I did flirt back. This was in a very accepting venue. A cafe that is frequented by many variants.

In general, if it goes beyond flirtation, honesty is the best policy.

ditto for Me--I've flirted a lot and I'm sure most of the guys knew but if it went beyond flirting of course I would tell him

[Fiona K]

Dream on, not many of us truly pass, unless the guy trips over his seeing-eye dog.

Leading someone on is asking for trouble

[Karren H]

Honestly, if I'm 110% passing, which I'm not, I'm not telling anyone... Why should I? If someone wants to hit one me and they can't tell.. So be it.. I know I'm not taking it any further than that...

And the only way I'd get to 110% is to get a lot of surgeory.. Hahaha

[Emily Ann Brown]

Having been hit on when I have occassionally been to clubs, I just blow them off (oh get your mind out of the gutter!!!) and get on with enjoying the evening. If they are persistant I swap to male voice and ask them what their problem is. That always does it.

Besides, I don't drink.


Emily Ann

[rian]

Matter of fact I would love it , it is a joy to flirt thinking Im a woman , Yet when things gets serious obviously I will tell at the end .

[Angie G]

I wouldn't be doing anything with him so no I don't think I'd tell.:hugs:
Angie

[Annie D]

If you tell him and he continues to flirt......Is he really straight?

[KandisTX]

First of all, NOBODY is going to pass 110% I don't care WHO they are, there is always a tell of some sort. There is always something that is going to give them away. In this instance, by not telling the truth you are very likely going to get your arse kicked or worse. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy... regardless of the situation.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[MJ]

i don't go to bars anyhow . also i don't pass therefor i would be asking for trouble , i don't have a death wish at the moment

[JessieB]

There is more than one dynamic in play in such a scenario, and all things considered, for anything more than a very casual and brief conversation, I would want the guy to know who and what he is dealing with. To me, it is extremely unfair to subject a guy who may be unequivocally hetero to the rude surprise of a guy in a dress, especially considering that had he known up front, he probably wouldn't have initiated contact in the first place. I think the "surprise" might make him angry, and I can't say that I really blame him, although I would wish that he could muster more grace than that. Besides, I'm not that hard up for a drink.

As for me, I love being a fem-type guy in a skirt, and I'm only interested in guys and girls who are attracted to my type, at least for romantic purposes. I don't want to fool anyone, and I don't want anyone trying to fool me.

[carolinebrookes]

Put the boot or the shoe on the other foot and in the place of the guy. If you went across and chatted up a lady, wouldn't you want her to be for real?

If you a lot of guys found out you were actually not a real lady, the reaction could be bad!
Having said that, 110%? Play along maybe but make your intentions absolutely clear from the word go.

[Alys]

Dream on, not many of us truly pass, unless the guy trips over his seeing-eye dog.

Leading someone on is asking for trouble
That's a bit of a harsh assessment :\

[melisss2u]

honestly dont know cause ive never been out dressing "enfemme" outword

[JeneeDavis]

I have been hit on by guys in straight bars and in gay bars. In the straight bar I don't let it go too far. Usually "something" gives you away sooner or later. Better to be safe. I have also have been hit on by girls in "girl bars". At least once, she thought I was a gg - I was soooooo flattered!!

But honesty is ALWAYS the best policy (after you get the drink!!!)

[Trisha]

i have been hit on by streight men that are not sure but i tell them what i am and still thay buy the drinks oh its a good life :)

[Fab Karen]

How do you know you're "110% passable" & how do you KNOW he's straight?