Meeting someone for the first time

[CD Susan]

How does everyone here feel about meeting someone for the first time? I have been wanting to meet another cd for the past two months and have finally found someone that I am attracted to and want to meet. We live about 250 miles apart and seem to be very compatible and we both want to meet with each other. I have a record on my yahoo account of 157 messages between us in the last two months with very many photos included. I am really interested in meeting her but at the same time I want to be careful and not get myself into a situation where I would regret it. What I am asking is what should I do beyond the obvious of meeting in a safe place to protect myself from a potential bad situation? We have talked on the phone three times and i feel that I am ready to meet her but I am still apprehensive about it. I am so confused at this time, I do not want to miss out on the opportunity of meeting someone that i feel I want to meet but yet I want to be sure I am doing the right thing. I need reasurance here and will appreciate any advice from my friends here.

[Jonianne]

I hope you found a true friend!
Please be very careful and go slow, always being able to take a step back and reexamine the situation if necessary. Your safety is foremost.
Hopefully others will have more specific advice than I know.
Good luck and let us know how things went!

[MsJanessa]

Your use of the phrase "attracted to her" leads Me to believe that you view her as a potential sexual partner---you also want the luxury of meeting her without the pressure to have sex if in fact you don't "click" with her---Smart Girl---best thing to do would be to meet her in a TG friendly atomosphere like a Tranny club or a gay bar that is TG friendly. That way you can meet while you both are dressed(assuming you go out in public occasionally that way) and you have the option of pursuing the relationship from there or not.

If she is not what you had hoped, chat with her, have a few drinks(actually smart choice is non-alcoholic beverages) and then thank her for meeting say you have to get up early and excuse yourself---If you agree to meet her, say in a hotel room or in your home, her expectation is that you will have sex with her---best idea is to leave your options open. BTW I would not take anybody to My house on a first date---a hotel room maybe but if you take them to your house they know where you live and you might regret that later.

I would not meet them as My butch self on a first date for a couple of reasons. First you are interested in each other as a CD and not as guys. And second it's a good idea to maintain a little anomynity untill you get to know and trust each other better

If she is all you fantasized about and more, and if she feels the same about you, well then you know what to do. Good luck darling.

[renee k]

Hi Susan,

Jonianne and Janessa, have given you great advise. My two cents, on this is, use your intuition. Meet her in drab at first, at a coffee shop or similar venue. I've done this with some of the girls I've met from this forum. Talk with them eye to eye,and size up their personality. If everything clicks then off to bigger and better things. But most importantly leave yourself an out.
You want to be in control of the situation, don't be put into a corner.

Huggs, Renee

[Emily Ann Brown]

I have met dozens of sisters, always a wonderful experience.

Usually I meet some place very public, and often the first meeting is in drab mode just so I have the ability to easily walk away with no "issues". Sometimes I have told what I would be wearing and remained in my vehicle until I see the other girl appear at the designated spot (of course, what if she waits also???). And I always have someone I will be talking to soon after who knows where and when and who I am meeting sorta as a safety valve should the worst happen.

I won't assume this is sexual just because of a word or two that you used. I have found myself drawn to another sister at times because of a need to be with someone I so relate to in life situations.


Emily Ann

[Angie G]

Keep it public for starters for your safety and if you click go from there. Good luck and be safe hun And if it xcomes to that point think (SAFE SEX) hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Emily Anderson]

Susan,

I would treat this in the same way as any girl meeting a prospective date. I would suggest you meet in a public place, in drab, and let friends know where you're going so there is a trace. You may even want to schedule a friend to call you during the "meeting" to ensure that you are OK.

In this way, you can chat freely, see if there is a connection, and take from there...

[EnglishRose]

I met my wife by flying over 3000 miles and arranging to spend 10 days with her :)

[Deborah Jane]

I think you,ve had a lot of very good advice allready Susan.
The only thing i would add though, is make sure someone you know and trust is aware of where you are and agree to phone them after the meeting to assure them you are safe.

Have a good time sis, i hope it all goes well :hugs:

[CD Susan]

I want to thank everyone here for the advice that has been given to me. I am taking all of this advice into consideration and want all of you to know that I am so gratefull to have such helpfull friends. My friend and I had a phone conversation last night that lasted over two hours. We are considering meeting at a resort that caters to the GLBT lifestyle. Both of us were logged onto this places website as we were talking and we both feel this is the perfect place for us to meet. This place is situated about midway between where each of us live so I would be far from home. I am not worried about my safety as I feel nothing is going to happen that I can't control. We have been very open with our feelings about sex with each other and both of us feel comfortable with how we feel about this. She has made it known to me that she is bisexual and has experience being with other cd's and I have told her that I am bi-curious and have never met with another cd. We have both agreed that we want to enjoy each others company more than anything else and sex between us is not neccesary but if we feel that is what we want then it could happen. I am having feelings that I have never had before and want to meet her so very much. We plan to meet next month so I still have plenty of time to think about all of this. I want to make the right decision and appreciate all of the advice everyone has given me.

[MsJanessa]

Good luck darling

[daviolin]

I meet my first friend right hear on this web site. And it"s been real fun. We went on a shopping trip together today. It's so much more fun with a friend. But yes you should be careful when selecting a friend, you never no what could happen. My friend is a great shopping buddy:2c:Daviolin

[GINA-CD]

Hi Susan,

Meet her in drab at first, at a coffee shop or similar venue. I've done this with some of the girls I've met from this forum. Talk with them eye to eye,and size up their personality. If everything clicks then off to bigger and better things. But most importantly leave yourself an out.
You want to be in control of the situation, don't be put into a corner.

Huggs, Renee

That's exactly what I did when I met in person a beautiful girl I met here. We had lunch one day in drab and felt comfy about ourselves, so we decided to take it to the next level. Next day we dressed together and went shopping. It was a perfect day/date. At the end of the day, we just did that and were both happy about it. Good luck.

[KarynDavis]

Good Luck Susan - I have been at this crossroads for 15 years. I would like to meet with and talk to another Cder - but only on safe terms and with an out. I hope it will happen someday - we''ll see!