What happens when we get old ?

[Davinnia]

Having an aged relative who is suffering from severe dementia has got me thinking. What, do you suppose, will happen to us CDers when we get old & infirm or develop dementia ? My wife posed the question to me, would I remember that I was a CDer or would I demand to wear female clothing & only remember my CD life.It is such an important part of our lives I can't believe it will just vanish because we're old. How do CDers cope if placed in a nursing home ?
I know this is a long way off to most of us. Most of us on this forum are probably in the 30 to 50+ age bracket,[I know many are younger] but at some time in the future we must start to be affected by age.
It just seems to me an interesting idea to think about. Any thoughts ?

[KateSpade83]

My dad at 75 is old - people have to take care of him, he can't handle himself. We pay or relative in the Phillippines to take care of him! $1100 per month is way cheaper than a $5000 per month USA nursing home!

Some people are sending their elders to foreign countries with cheap senior care. USA is grossly expensive!

[Melanie R]

My wife and I were discussing this same question yesterday. We are both in our late 60's but look and act much younger than many of our friends who are in their 40-50's. We talked about finding a younger TG person who would assist us in our home when this becomes necessary. This person could live in our home since we have a very large home. We do not want to live with any of our three children. My wife and I both beleive that Melanie needs to have time for expression even up to my last breaths.

[TracyH]

I figure it'll be easier to pass because nobody's really expecting me to look good at 80.

[Samantha43]

Wow, that's a good question. If I forget about being a CD, that is fine with me. If I only remember being a CD, then people will think I am just a crazy old man. :raisedeyebrow:

[Nicole Erin]

since the beard will be white by then, beard cover won't even be an issue.
I am mid 30's right now and I do not plan on aging past that.

[Amy Hepker]

I don't plan to get old.

[Jodi]

I don't plan to get old.

Amy, The alternative is not a good thing.

Jodi

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

You won't remember going out dressed up, where you went or for that matter what this forum's web address is. Life will come to an end.

But look at the positive if you do dress up and go out, you won't remember the comments that people make. So life will go on..

Just being humorous, I often thing what the future holds and would like to find a SO to share my life with, who I can share life with to the end. :battingeyelashes:

[lizzie]

Amy, The alternative is not a good thing.

Jodi
Death in general is unpleasant. I am with Amy. I kind of hope I don't live to see 80, honestly.

[linnea]

I have thought about this from time to time. Of course, I hope that I don't suffer from dementia, but I probably won't know the difference. However, my family and friends may know and may be uncomfortable with the situation. In that case, I'll probably be under their control. Whether I dress or not, male or female, will depend on them.

[CD Susan]

I have thought about this before and have come to the following conclusion. There is no way that I will ever spend my final days on this earth in a nursing home. My only son is aware of this and I hope that he respects my wishes. The best senario would be to enjoy being a cd even at a very old age and I believe that there has to be many out there that do. I hope this is the case with me and when my final moment comes I hope I go out peacefully in my sleep while wearing a pretty nighty of coarse.

[Christinedreamer]

I have had more than a few occaisons to be with people as trhey moved on up (died) and come close myself a couple times. After seeing and hearing what I have, death holds absolutely no fear for me and is a wonderful part of life.

If you want scientific proof of life after death it is simple. Ask yourself: what makes the human body tick? Electricity. One of the basic laws of physics is that energy (electricity) cannot be destroyed, it can only change state.

How many times have you heard about going to "the light"? Electricity can and does convert to light. It may seem all to simple but just imagine- what if it IS just that simple? Forget all those silly and morose religious teachings about death and dying. Death is just the first step on another journey.

And according to the Bible and other religious texts, the "angels" are neither male nor female. They are androgynous. So you can rest assured you can continue to wear flowing gowns if you so desire.

That is my story and I am sticking to it.

If you would like to hear about a couple other true experiences I have had that are proof (to me, friends and family at least) feel free to email me.

Christine

[Annemarie]

We will dress like grannies and have no problem passing, I am sure the senior cdrs will vouch for that !

[Hilary]

We will dress like grannies and have no problem passing, I am sure the senior cdrs will vouch for that !

Hey! We don't dress like grannies. You just don't have to think about age as it is only another number. Just get on & enjoy life, when I do eventually snuff it people can say what they like as I won't know much about it.

[TSchapes]

You have to look at the positive things:


With dementia, you'll be always meeting new people!

If they catch you wearing women's clothes, then you're a "Crazy Old Geezer".

You don't have to "Dress Your Age", because you can't remember what it is.

Support hose, will really be medically necessary.

And, if you like to dress like a little girl, the diapers come in handy!


I guess what I'm saying here, is live today, don't worry about tomorrow. Remember:

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

- John Lennon

[Deborah Jane]

I don't plan to get old.

Me neither!!!
When i get to the point where i feel old, i,ll give reincarnation a try...
Maybe next time i,ll get it right and come back as a natural girl :daydreaming:

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, we win either way. If we get dementia, other people worry about the details, if not we still enjoy. In the meantime, as always, life is what we make it.:)

[SirTrey]

If you want scientific proof of life after death it is simple. Ask yourself: what makes the human body tick? Electricity. One of the basic laws of physics is that energy (electricity) cannot be destroyed, it can only change state.

How many times have you heard about going to "the light"? Electricity can and does convert to light. It may seem all to simple but just imagine- what if it IS just that simple? Forget all those silly and morose religious teachings about death and dying. Death is just the first step on another journey.

:thumbup: I could not agree with you more.

[Leann James]

Hi Youall; I am 72 years young going on 40. I guess I will start planing for my old age soon. You think? :drink: :love:

[Emily Anderson]

It's an extremely interesting question, and one I have thought about from time to time, but obviously not deeply enough!

Unfortunately I don't have any answers right now, because I don't know how others have handled this situation. But, I'm sure going to look into it and see if I can find any good articles on crossdressing in old age!

[TGMarla]

I've thought about this. And I honestly don't know what I'll do. I sure hope dementia is not in my future, but my paternal grandmother sure had it. I guess if I get Alzheimer's, I won't really care. But I want to age gracefully, still a lady at an older age, and die by cerebral embolism, face-planting a nice steak dinner. Who cares if I wreck anyone else's evening? :D

But sooner or later (probably later), I'll have to do something with all my girl stuff, other than pull it out and wear it.

[Tina Dixon]

Well that time is a few years away but what happens to my CDing side I have know idea, and what happens to all our prized items all so? One thing I do know I'll finally join a new group of diaper wearers.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I never worry about so far into the future. When I was in my young 20's,friends would start worrying about being in there 40's and I always said its 20 years away,I'll worry about then when I get there. Talk about the looks I received with that statement. My wife and I are in our young 40's (I'm 43,she'll be 43 the end of july) but we act & look 10 years younger and we believe in enjoying present life.

The future is nothing but the past that hasn't happen yet.:)

[Joanne f]

I have dug a hole in the garden 6ft deep each month i jump into it and climb out , and have told my wife on the day that i can not climb out she has to just fill it in :devil:






joanne

[kimmy p]

In all honesty, getting old and senile is the most scary thing that I can imagine. My plan is to let myself go so that I go at a relatively young age. Die young and leave a pretty corpse.

[Deborah Jane]

Die young and leave a pretty corpse.

Damn...Missed my chance :doh:

[jennifer41356]

we die? :gn:,:D:D

[Vieja]

I am eighty years old and still doing all right though I worry when I can't remember something. My wife is well along the path to forgetting. She has great difficulty speaking because she can't find the words. So I imagine that at some point if we live long enough with the hateful condition we will forget being cross dressers.

Vieja

[jenny logan]

The only problem I see about being an old cder is having breast forms that will not be age appropriate. Not too many 80 year old women out there with perky boobs. Maybe til then someone will perfect granny breast forms!

Jenny L.

[Daintre]

I can only hope that if I get to be old..or older..I will still have my ability to reason.

I have dealt with Alzheimers in my family and it is a heart breaking disease. The loved one you know is slowly taken from you until there is only a shell left.

Sure we can laugh now and make flippant remarks, but it scares the beegeebers out of me.

[Sally24]

What, do you suppose, will happen to us CDers when we get old & infirm or develop dementia ? Any thoughts ?

Dementia isn't a sure thing, but it's not uncommon. With most forms, the people remember their early years with great clarity, but yesterday is a blur. Many lock onto a certain period in their life, childhood, young married, etc..and stay there most days. We might forget about CDing but I doubt it. Most of us had some idea way back into our early childhood.

If they manage to disarm me and get me into a nursing home I'll sure as hell demand my rights. If you are still in your right mind you have rights like everyone else. They can't deny you;

Alcohol, sex (alone or with a consenting partner), porn, racy movies, or the freedom to express yourself. I plan on dressing most of the time because by then Who Cares! They'll already think I'm nuts! And by then maybe my breasts will be close to scale for my build.

[Patti Girl]

I have dug a hole in the garden 6ft deep each month i jump into it and climb out , and have told my wife on the day that i can not climb out she has to just fill it in :devil:

joanne

Interesting! I like it! Do you dig the hole with a sloping side to help you, or is it straight up and down? ;-)

Maybe I'd better teach my wife how to use the backhoe.

Patti

[Karren H]

Getting old sucks.... every day a new wrinkle... And hey, my wife swears I have Altzheimers already............. What was the wuastion again?? :)

But any who.... If I get dememtia.... forgetting I crossderess or wanting to wear a dress all the time ..... is the least of my worries... since I won't be in my right mind any way.... That's life!

[Patti Girl]

I think it is more the "quality of life" rather than how old you live to. Some here have said they don't want to live to be 80. My dad is 88 and has done very well until the last few months. My mom, OTOH, lived a pretty miserable existance from the time she was 50 until she died at 74.

[debbeelee1]

I guess we all have to make the best of the good time we have left! Just don't waste it. Hey, I think I'll run down and get that new pair of pumps I've been thinking about getting.............

[Angie G]

If all I remember is cd'ing I'll have what I can't now dressing 24/7.JUst hope I'll look half way good in a mini-skirt.:hugs:
Angie

[Mitzi]

I'm one of the older ones here, other than having a terrible time remembering names, I feel just as frisky as ever and still want to dress sexy/cutesy. I just got this outfit on ebay, just love it. While I don't look as good as the model, I sure don't look like a granny!!

So gurls, if you have the right genes, you can enjoy dressing for a looong, looong time.

Mitzi

[Staci K]

The worst part of getting old, my breast forms will get saggy and look like tube socks with nipples hanging off my chest. :eek:

Hell with growing old gracefully; I'm going kicking and screaming all the way!

Nicole

[Beth-Lock]

On Death Ain't So Bad: At least nobody has complained.

[Joanne f]

Interesting! I like it! Do you dig the hole with a sloping side to help you, or is it straight up and down? ;-)

Maybe I'd better teach my wife how to use the backhoe.

Patti

:D just straight sides, but the odd thing is my wife keeps telling me to dig it deeper, why would she want to make it harder to fill in :doh:

[Brianna Lovely]

I think that NOW is the time to start thinking and doing something about Transgender Civil Rights. A recent article on senior care, noted that over 60% of nursing/retirement facilities, mistreated Lesbian and Gay patients. The mistreatment was committed by both the staff and fellow patients, and included verbal abuse, physical abuse and social isolation.

So, if you want to be treated with dignity, in the future, you should start changing things NOW!

[Niya W]

I'm one of the older ones here, other than having a terrible time remembering names, I feel just as frisky as ever and still want to dress sexy/cutesy. I just got this outfit on ebay, just love it. While I don't look as good as the model, I sure don't look like a granny!!

So gurls, if you have the right genes, you can enjoy dressing for a looong, looong time.

Mitzi

So that's were you got it from I would tell mitzi age but I'd have to make you disappear.I met more than few girs older than sixty. Still enjoying a dress

[Patti Girl]

I think that NOW is the time to start thinking and doing something about Transgender Civil Rights. A recent article on senior care, noted that over 60% of nursing/retirement facilities, mistreated Lesbian and Gay patients. The mistreatment was committed by both the staff and fellow patients, and included verbal abuse, physical abuse and social isolation.

Are you sure that's any different than non gay/lesbian?

Patti

[Brianna Lovely]

Are you sure that's any different than non gay/lesbian?

Patti

Yes, it is different.

In checks across the USA, although some "straight" patients reported some abuse, all of the Lesbian or Gay patients that reported abuse, said it happened on a daily basis.

Some people say that GLBT people don't need or deserve special rights.
But, until people treat everyone equally, GLBT people will be singled out for mistreatment. Whether it's by, a nursing facility, the police, the government, the religious right, the courts, the store clerk or the average citizen, it's still wrong.

[Mydia]

I want to die before I'm 50 >_>

I can't stand the thought of getting old and losing my beauty, my memories, my bodily functions, my independence...but mostly my beauty <_<

[Patti Girl]

I want to die before I'm 50 >_>

I can't stand the thought of getting old and losing my beauty, my memories, my bodily functions, my independence...but mostly my beauty <_<

Oh Mydia, life begins at retirement! :):):)

You get a LOT MORE independence when you can retire!

A person's true beauty is internal. I still have my memories and body functions.

Patti
ancient at 61 and still able to count! LOL

[KandisTX]

LIVE FOR TODAY! Regardless of your age, if you live for today, then you have truly lived ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Brianna Lovely]

LIVE FOR TODAY! Regardless of your age, if you live for today, then you have truly lived ;)

Kandis:love::rose2:


I'm out as the gurl I am, every day, and love it. Do I live as a gurl, 24-7? I guess so, if that means letting my hair grow, wearing nail polish, wearing a skirt, putting on light makeup and lipstick, every day.

But, the most importent thing is, I'm living my life as the gurl I am, and loving every minute of my life.

Hugs to all.

[Davinnia]

I think one of the main reasons I came out to my wife at 50yrs was because I felt time was running out. I wanted to spend some quality years dressing without having to hide & live in fear of being caught.
I have no idea what lies in store for me & my wife in future years & probably wouldn't want to know either.

Mydia, you say you want to die before 50. Tell us all that again when you're 49 !

[Brianna Lovely]

Mydia, you say you want to die before 50. Tell us all that again when you're 49 !

As I was telling a GG friend the other day, I've been saying that I'm 50 for so many years, that I forget how old I really am, giggle. But most of the time, I feel like I'm 49, giggle.

[Niya W]

I have no idea what I'll do when I get old. I'll let you know went I hit 30 or maybe 32

[StephanieF]

It is a very good question and one I think about quite a bit. That's not to say I have any answers ... I don't.

Except to say, live for today. I'm 51 and if I live to an advanced age, I'm hopeful society will have matured to the point where something as 'stupid' as prejudice towards a desire as harmless and wonderful as crossdressing will be replaced with acceptance.

But for today it doesn't matter. Whether it becomes a problem 30 or 40 years from now is irrelevant. This is who I am, and I'm not going to change. I already tried that the first thirty years and it didn't work.

[VikkiVixen7188]

When Im old not much will change from how I am now.

[Mydia]

I know that 50 (usually) isn't when your body/mind start to fail you (that comes later...), but it IS when most people start to look their age...and, well, I'm EXTREMELY vain, so when my physical beauty goes, I want to go. I hate my (male) body enough as it is anyway, so the last thing I want is to watch it get uglier and then eventually fall apart on me.

Don't get me wrong. I am scared senseless of death, but it's better than living miserably. To me, 50+ seems like the start of years of problems. I'm not expecting anyone to agree with me. It's just how I am.

*sigh*

If only health and beauty were eternal...but unfortunately that will never be.

[Maria2222]

Hi Youall; I am 72 years young going on 40. I guess I will start planing for my old age soon. You think? :drink: :love:

I'm going to go this route. Besides, if dementia happens, you won't know what you're missing anyway.

[ann stef]

If you end up in a nursing home, you can wear a flannel nightgown. No one there will care, and it will be easier for the caretakers to assist you,

[CaptLex]

I have no idea what I'll do when I get old. I'll let you know went I hit 30 or maybe 32

:slap:

[waspookie6]

Not sure what has been going on in nursing homes since assisted living centers are taking their place at a rapid pace, there are so few actual nursing homes in our area it's tough to know what numbers to look at nowadays.

Since 13 years old I worked at assisted centers and nursing homes, we had cross dressers that were centenarians! No one minded, no one cares because we all figured they earned the right to do what they damn well pleased. These were the very people that helped us all through a depression and two world wars! Even when we would 'sneak' them a beer before doctors said it was okay, we also smiled when some of the men would 'borrow' a pair of pantyhose from another resident and Pearl, who only would dress like a man and demand her fedora before leaving her room.
It was normal. It is respect. If we are worried about it then maybe it's time to start mentoring those that will be taking care of us starting with empathy, something that is seemingly lacking in the generation who will fill those care positions. :strugglin

[StephanieF]

I want to die before I'm 50 >_>

I can't stand the thought of getting old and losing my beauty, my memories, my bodily functions, my independence...but mostly my beauty <_<

Thank you Mydia -- made my day. Steph - 51

I don't mean to be rude but I feel a little sad for you. Age brings many things like xperience, wisdom and fresh perspectives. I hope if you do reach 50 you'll discover vanity is way, way down the list. Where it should be.

[steftoday]

Thank you Mydia -- made my day. Steph - 51

I don't mean to be rude but I feel a little sad for you. Age brings many things like xperience, wisdom and fresh perspectives. I hope if you do reach 50 you'll discover vanity is way, way down the list. Where it should be.

Steph-
Thanks for sticking up for the more "experienced" members. I'm 51; I don't look my age, nor do I feel that old.

I hope to have a long time to worry about "what comes next"... :battingeyelashes:

stef.