creating the moment

[chris]

Hi all,

Ok well, in about a weeks time my wife and I will be taking a short trip to Palm Springs...no kids just us. Since I stumbled on to this great site about three months ago, I have come out to my wife about being a cd which went went over pretty well all things considered. All though she hasn't seen me dressed yet, she knows I do it but I really don't think she knows to what extent I go. As you can see in my profile pic and avatar, I like to attempt look as close to a gurl as I can.....sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't ! So here's the deal, we are both really looking forward to our little get away in the desert, we're staying at a really nice resort etc etc...I know my wife knows that the cd issue is going to come up at some point, in the best of cases we'd probably go out for drinks and dinner then probably more drinks (LOL) and back to the room and take it from there, meaning I'd just go for it, clothes wig, make up...then present myself to her, easy enough right ? NOT!!!!!!!!

I really want her to see me as Chris but I don't want this trip to revolve around it....My question to you gals is how would you create the moment ? would you go with the sole intent of dressing no matter what ? or just kind of feel it out and see what happens? I'm sure I just answered my own question but I'd really like to hear what my sisters out there think :) Just so you know I have dressed for my one time about three years ago, it was fun but it really didn't last that long and we never really talked about it again. One last thing, if all works out well and I do get all dolled up, then what ? :confused: Please help !!

xoxoxox....Chris ;)

[Like2BAspen]

How about trying some sexy night things your first night. Get her a little drunk It always worked in college and this is new for her and that may lighten her up It sounds like there is a lot of anxiety from both of you and your first night should be fun and light hearted so some Iced teas The long Island type and some sweet wine should get you in the mood You have to get her in a sweet gigly mood if you know what I mean.

[Sigrid]

Chris,

This trip sounds like a rare opportunity for just the two of you. I most certainly would not make it your sole intent to get dressed. As understanding and accepting as she may be, she's probably not expecting nor prepared to see Chris for the first time come bounding out of bedroom. You must take it slow. She first needs to know the extent of your dressing. After she's digested that and is comfortable with it, then offer to show her a picture, like your avatar. Once you feel she's comfortable with that, ask if she's willing to meet Chris, like on another getaway, if necessary, or at home when the kids are away.

If you try to do this all in one day on your Palm Springs getaway, I fear the results would be disasterous. And as you implied, you already know that too. The most important thing, is to confirm your trust and respect in her.

This sounds like a great opportunity to start the process, and it could go very well, to the point that you may be dressed before the end of the trip - that would be great! But, don't make that your goal.




One last thing, if all works out well and I do get all dolled up, then what ?

Well, then........YEEEHAAA!!!!


Best wishes, and have fun!

~Sigrid

[kathy gg]

GG opinion here, take it or leave it.

Chris you sound like a really nice guy and so does your wife.

If you plan on spending any time what so ever dressed on this trip, telling her PRIOR to going is the best way. If this is 'sprung' on her chances are you could find this trip to into something you had not planned on, a miserable time.

Of course we all hope that she will be open to you spending some time dressed as you wish, but the reality is if she has not initiated alot prior to this do you really think the island air and a few pina colodas is going to suddenly make her be all excited? I think you know the answer already that that one.

Let her know your hopes and intentions and then talk about how she feels and then decide from there. If she says it sounds up for something new good for you both. But if she seems at any time uncomfortable or uneasy take that as the clue that this is not the time or place.

If you jump out of the bahtroom an 'suprise' her you are completely not thinking of anyone but yourself. Which is great if you are not married....but you are....

kathy in canada



Hi all,

Ok well, in about a weeks time my wife and I will be taking a short trip to Palm Springs...no kids just us. Since I stumbled on to this great site about three months ago, I have come out to my wife about being a cd which went went over pretty well all things considered. All though she hasn't seen me dressed yet, she knows I do it but I really don't think she knows to what extent I go. As you can see in my profile pic and avatar, I like to attempt look as close to a gurl as I can.....sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't ! So here's the deal, we are both really looking forward to our little get away in the desert, we're staying at a really nice resort etc etc...I know my wife knows that the cd issue is going to come up at some point, in the best of cases we'd probably go out for drinks and dinner then probably more drinks (LOL) and back to the room and take it from there, meaning I'd just go for it, clothes wig, make up...then present myself to her, easy enough right ? NOT!!!!!!!!

I really want her to see me as Chris but I don't want this trip to revolve around it....My question to you gals is how would you create the moment ? would you go with the sole intent of dressing no matter what ? or just kind of feel it out and see what happens? I'm sure I just answered my own question but I'd really like to hear what my sisters out there think :) Just so you know I have dressed for my one time about three years ago, it was fun but it really didn't last that long and we never really talked about it again. One last thing, if all works out well and I do get all dolled up, then what ? :confused: Please help !!

xoxoxox....Chris ;)

[chris]

I really appreciate the input...thank you so much. I know deep down that I can't expect too much from this trip, unfortunatly it's only a one nighter :( however, I agree that if nothing else it'll be a starting point. I am hoping that there will be some much needed conversation between the two of us and I really don't think that I would attempt to present myself as Chris with out testing the waters as it were....Who knows, I might pack my golf clubs instead of my make up bag :D ....I'm sure I'll end up bring both :)

xoxoxo Chris

[DonnaT]

Leave the makeup home. Best way to creat the moment is at home. Ask your wife for help in aplying the makeup. Maybe a little romantic music, wine, chocolate, and candles. Be intimate, but not in a sexual way, unless she gets turned on enough to initiate it, but try not to have sex while dressed, unless she insists.



You might find this letter interesting. http://www.3dcom.com/couples/vkol/MAEWEST.HTML

[Kimberly]

My advice would be: don't put up a big romantic front, like its a big planned, thought out experience. Just be open, yourself, and let her watch the transformation.

When I dressed for my gf, we approached it with some humour. I was as nervous as hell, but she cast her opinion over my meager offerings of purchases, and we laughed at the ones she didn't liked, and tried on the ones she did. Thankfully, she liked - but it wasn't like I was in control. Find an equalibrium between you both that basically lets things just happen. Above all: have fun!

[Elysia]

would you go with the sole intent of dressing no matter what ? or just kind of feel it out and see what happens?

It sounds to me that you already know the answer to this question. Of course you can’t do anything ‘no matter what’ and consider your wife’s feeling at the same time. So just kind of feel it out and see what happens, and remember marriage is a long term relationship. Take it slowly and go together. There will more opportunities in the future, there’s no need to rush her. Let us know how it goes. I hope things go well for you both.

[StephanieCD]

My advice - don't push it. I ruined a whole week vacation once by wanting to play.

I'd say bring it up honestly, saying you are interested, and then let her know you're going to let her take the lead. If she hesitates give her a way to break the ice - it would be hard for her to say "ok, I'm ready to do the crossdressing thing now". Tell her that if she does want to "play" just say "wanna play?" or maybe she could leave something out or something - give her a way to signal... and then don't push.

Also - don't expect her to want to see you all the way done up all at once. A small baby step might be more realistic - paint each other's toe nails while watching ANY MOVIE SHE WANTS. Or let her pick out one thing to see you in and let her take the lead.

I think you get my point - don't push it... expectations will ruin everything. And don't try too hard - the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[Clare]

I agree with all the other posts.

A one nighter? I wouldn't bother bringing Chris out for a short trip. Maybe on a long weekend or similar.

Reveal Chris at home with little things. Show the wife some of Chris's outer wear first - not the lingerie! Say your collection makeup next and so on.

A full revelation of Chris in one go may e too much for your wife.

If you want to go away with your wife and also share Chris on the trip, make definate plans for it with your wife. Her being involved in the planning will let her be prepared for the outcome.

Now that she knows about Chris, go slowly until she gets used to the idea of meeting her.

Christine






chris

[Holly]

Chris,

I tend to go with Kathy on this... just ask her BEFORE you go. But be prepared to live with the answer. An overnight trip is a bit short, especially if you have anything else planned. One alternative may be after a nice evening together, perhaps you could go back to your hotel you both could "slip into something more comfortable" and enjoy an adult beverage or two. But whatever you do decide, let her take the lead.

BTW, I live bout 1/2 hour from PS and it was 91 here today. Make sure your wife packs her bikini!

[chris]

I knew therw was a reason I found tis place ! Your all so sweet... :) I'll keep you posted..... :p xoxo Chris

[TrueGemini'sWife GG]

I too, agree with the Ladies...
Give her a heads-up before you go. Ask her if she would mind if you packed a few things in case you both decided you want to "play".

Gem and I do each other's nails a lot. Maybe start by having a drink or two ;) then asking her if you could do her toe nails. Comment on how you like the color, etc...
That may very well lead to her asking if she could do yours, too. If so? "There's your sign!"
Baby steps Chris...

[chris]

I would love to be able to do that with her...problem is she won't go for the polish thing.... :( As accepting as she may be, she's pretty firm on that one. I think it's simply going to be a matter of timing....you know a time and place for everything ;) I've just decided I'm not gonna push anything on her, what ever happens happens...or doesn't....xoxo Chris :)

[Krissi]

The girls here are giving you some great advice. A short one nighter trip may not be the place to even attempt anything except maybe some light casual chat about dressing in the car on the way home probably. (So as not to spoil the trip or place expectations) Also, the first time you do get to present yourself to her, I would not have either of you drinking too heavily. You want her to accept Chris as a partner, springing that on her while she is drunk may lead to some confusion and hard feelings down the line. I'd say the best way to open some light dialog on the trip might be to do some window shopping with her, have some "girl" talk about different outfits that look nice, not neccessarily talking about them for you.

I "sprung" Krissi on my wife the very first time when we were dating. We had talked and she was very curious. She spent the night one evening and we had planned that she would get there as I was getting ready. She arrived, sat in the living room watching TV while I slaved away in the bathroom and bedroom getting ready. I worked as hard as I could and tried to put my best face forward and what I got out of all of that was a laugh. She thought I looked like a cheap hooker with my make up, she hated my cheap wig. She was sweet about it and was interested and we talked about potential but it was an embarrassing experience to say the least. I didn't want to dress in front of her for a long time and didn't until we went together and bought a new wig.

I guess I tell that story to make a point about plans falling through. In my case we were both excited about it, both wanted it, and in the end both were dissappointed by the experience. I think if I had it to do all over again, for my situation would have been something like hey want to help me change into Krissi for you. Then let her be there as I dressed and let her make suggestions along the way. Now we didn't have kids to worry about and I know that can add strain to a wife accepting, but I'm sure the two of you can find a night alone together to explore.

Good luck!

[chris]

Krissi, I agree I've been getting some really good comments and suggestions and I can't tell you how much it helps....thanks everyone !! Sounds like alot of you have already "been there done that", I guess it's just part of the process..... :) luv you all....xoxoxo Chris ;)

[RobynP]

Hi all,

Ok well, in about a weeks time my wife and I will be taking a short trip to Palm Springs...no kids just us. Since I stumbled on to this great site about three months ago, I have come out to my wife about being a cd which went went over pretty well all things considered. All though she hasn't seen me dressed yet, she knows I do it but I really don't think she knows to what extent I go.

Chris,

I think maybe your wife has already given you the answer... How much and how often (or how little) do you and your wife discuss your cding? It sounds like some additional conversation is needed and maybe have some pictures handy to show her. I think the easiest way to screw up a relationship is to take control and force the issue. Conversely, the way to maintain or improve a relationship would be to let her have control of her role in all this. Let her determine when she wants to see you dressed. She may never want to see you fully dressed. This doesn't mean ignoring the issue and having it go away and never talking about it ever again. It means giving her the freedom to choose how much she wishes to participate and when.

Many, many years ago (before the Internet and all the information that is currently available), I had my wife (now ex) drink a lot, and then I went and changed but had no wig and makeup, came out and said, "Ta-da! How do you like it?" Well, she didn't and the alcohol didn't help... :( It took YEARS to recover from that mistake...

By the way, Palm Springs has a large gay community (although I haven't found anything T* related). If you and your wife are walking around downtown, there might be several conversation "starters" so to speak...

And I have to agree with Holly... I just spent the weekend in Palm Desert where it was 100+ during the day and in the 90s at night. You might be spending more time undressed than dressed! :D

Have a great time!

Robyn P.