How "real" is your femme "self" to you?

[Kate Simmons]

I see a lot of posts where folks say that their femme "self" is the real them. I'm wondering just how "real" it is to most of us. In other words, given the opportunity, would you go 24/7 if you could? Would you live this way all the time if all restrictions were taken away? I had the opportunity to do this when I retired and did it for about a month or so. It got to be a lot of work, however, so I decided to balance things and alternate between male and female mode as needed.

Now it seems, since balancing and integrating the feelings, I'm always the same person, regardless of presentation. Still, the option remains open for me to go 24/7 if I so choose and I'm fully confident I would be successful doing that.

The real point to myself is that regardless of the appearance and "glitter" part, the feelings remain the important thing. In other words, if I did go 24/7, I would be expressing my softer feelings openly and without hesitation. The really tough part to all of this is that I'd just be myself and would not be "imitating" anyone. What would naturally come out would be what is already in my heart and soul and this seems to be the real indicator of progress to me, not necessarily what I look like. Interesting, the things one learns when really getting in touch with the feelings.

So, the question is:" How "real" is your femme "self" to you and would you be prepared to express it 24/7 given the opportunity?:)

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Arianna, [i like the new name BTW]

I think the more i explore my personality now, the more i,m coming to realise that my "femme self" is actually the real me.
The longer this goes on, the more my true self is coming to the surface and slowly encroaching on my old self.

Now is not the right time yet for me, but i feel that one day, the time will come!!
When that day comes i,ll go 24/7 with no regrets and no going back, because only then will i know who i truly am!

[tamara]

In my case, altough I love crossdressing, and I would do it much more often if I could, I realized that my "real" me depends on the mood of the moment.

There are plenty of moods in which I feel much more comfortable wearing panties, heels, bras etc, however, there are others in which I feel better wearing my male clothes.

I do not know if time is going to take me more to one side or the other, but for now, this is how I feel...

[Jonianne]

I know my femme self is very real to me, however to have to express it 24/7 would be just as uncomfortable, to me, as being forced to be masculine 24/7, and not allow my feminine side at all. I want the freedom to be either, as I need / want to be.

[audrey-lynn]

New name very nice. I think I would have to try it first to give a true answer. Right now I'm going back and forth. I think I would really enjoy the 24/7 side.

[Angie G]

I'd love to try it but don't thin I ever could my fife needs me to give her some man time (not gust in the bedroom. And I must do the dad And Gram pa thing with I love. Then there's work so 24/2 or 3 is good enough for me. I know I can't live in my dream world all the time. :hugs:
Angie

[deja true]

Just as our bodies grow and change, so do our minds and souls.

And just as we go about changing our bodies to fit the self image we have or want for our bodies, so too can we change our minds and souls to be the person we want to become.

We may not always have wanted to project as feminine, but our minds can change during the course of our lives to want to become more so.

It may not be a matter of having been born with these feelings. It's just another indicator of the soul's need for change and progress. For some the progress is towards more overt femininity. For some the progress needed is for more masculinity. For others it may be the need to forsake a physical gender presentation altogether in favor of androgeny. And finally for others it may be the need to find the balancing point between all these options.

There is no black or white, just the infinite shades of gray. Or more truthfully, the even more infinite colors and shades and tones of the human rainbow!

[Amy Hepker]

I would love to live as a female 24/7 if the chance arises. Like you I said on here one time that it is a lot of work 24/7 and I got cut down real quick and people were saying that I was not into it. It is really a lot of work if you think you want to be in a dress everyday. Myself I would be more casual and wear jeans more often and wear dresses whenever I felt the urge. I do not think a lot of CDers realize how much work it really is and it is more for us because we are not Female and have things we have to take care of more often like shaving our faces, true if we got lazer treatments it would not be as bad, but it does not get it all. We as Males have to do a lot more to be female than a female.

I do agree with you with most of what you said, but I would still be underdressing all the time even if I did not present myself as female all the time.

[Raychel]

The other side of me is very real.

Would I like to go full time?
Sure I would like to try it for a while, if society would allow it openly.

Would I remain full time for the rest of my life?
I doubt it.

I am a guy first, but I do like to get dolled up too. And there are too many fun guy things to do. Those things don't work very well in a dress.

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I do realize is that 24/7 does not mean being a "fashion plate" all of the time. Seems as we get more used to being who we are, we quite naturally tend to be more relaxed and casual. Many times, many of us CD's knock genetic women for dressing down and looking too casual and not "feminine" enough but that is really a lot of hooey because women have me beat all hollow in that department on one of my best days en femme. The real skill is finding the comfort level, dressing down, wearing minimal makeup and still projecting femininity and being yourself. The feelings say it all and if we believe in ourselves, we can be anyone we want to be regardless of how we dress. Therein lies the true key to being genuine and that speaks for itself really.;):)

[Maria2222]

I'm the same me whether I'm CDing or being my normal male self. Being a CD and dressing are a very major part of my life, but I have no urge to ever go 24/7.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My femme side is very real and constantly evolving. If given the chance I would not be ready to go 24-7 at this point due to issues such as voice, mannerisms, etc, remaining facial hair, etc.

[TGMarla]

My femme self is real, all right, but under all the makeup and finery, it's still just me. I am not planning at this time to ever go 24/7 or transition. As much as I enjoy "being" a woman, my primary obligation to my life is to live most of it as my male self, and as husband to my dear wife.

[Toni_Lynn]

The girl within is real. She is me and will always be me. She is there when I'm in drab, and when I'm in drag. Sometimes I chuckle at the thought that it is when I'm in drab that I am actually crossdressed. :)

What I'm trying to say is that she is so real that, having to do 'boy' things, doesn't diminish her. Because she is me, and I accept her, I am also able to fully accept my roles and responsibilities as a man and a husband

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Eileen]

We are all so different, there must be many answers to your question. And who can that any of them are wrong. The only way we will go wrong is if we try to be someone we are not.

For me the effort to live as a guy reached the point where I was very unhappy each time I had to go back to trying to be a guy. In Feb of last year,
I set out to be the person I have always felt I was. My experience has been wonderful. I can honestly say I am the happiest I have been in my life to date. That is me and each one needs to find the comfort level that best suits them.

Eileen

[Holly]

...I can honestly say I am the happiest I have been in my life to date...Eileen, I agree with that statement 100%. The truth of the matter is that I already living 24/7... oh, there's not hours on end spent putting on makeup, I may only wear a dress and heels once or twice a month. But I am true to the being that I am every moment of every day. And there is always some visual evidence that underneath the women's jeans and uniform shirt I wear to work everyday, that there is a female heart beating... small, colored studs in my ears and nails always polished (at the moment red, white, and blue in honor of the 4th of July).

I've come to understand that expressing as a transgendered individual is much more than the cross-dressing aspect. The cross-dressing has served as a catalyst to cause me to look deep inside myself to see who I really was and why I was so unhappy in the past and allowed me to make adjustments to correct that. I feel very special and blessed to be able to have found that kind of peace.

Arianna, I hope this is what you were looking for. If I went off topic, sorry.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

My feminine self is real. When I am dressed and wearing all of my female garb, I consider myself female. But now that I am thinking of this question on a deeper level, I know that I am a male, but when dressed something happens. I start to act differently. My male traits go away and take on female traits such as sitting, walking, and talking. All of these changes come from inside which is the same place as where the desire to dress comes from. So I would say that it is a real persona.
Although I am not a woman, something does happen when dressed. I have also been told that I take on feminine traits when in male mode. Wife tells me that I sit like a girl, and a co worker once commented on the way I had my legs crossed. Wife knows why I was sitting like that, but co workers question did not bother me at all. I did not admit to being a CD, but I was proud of the fact that I was sitting like that. I sometimes I feel lucky that I am a CD.

[Tina Dixon]

24/7, not in this life time, wearing a wig all the time would drive me nuts, being accepted in being a crossdresser and having the freedom to dress and go to events and what not is ideal for me, there's times and lots of them where I like just being him.

[nicky]

my femm side is also very really to me but its allways there no matter how im dressed and some day i would like to transition or go 24/7 my femm feelings will never leave

[Ruth]

Arianna, there are two questions in your post. They don't necessarily follow one from the other.
My femme self is real - as real as my male self anyway, and that's a whole philosophical discussion in its own right.
I'd love to sit down with you with a couple of bottles of wine and get to the bottom of that.
But of course like so many of us I have to share my life between Ruth and the guy. Neither of them is going to go away. So the 24/7 scenario is never going to eventuate (sorry, got into workspeak by mistake).
The guy has a much richer and happier life now that part of it is spent as Ruth, and neither one wants to take over 24/7. But real? we reckon so, both of us.

[Kate Simmons]

Actually Ruth, you are correct when you say this is deep. For those who follow what I talk about, they know I believe CDing is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a more important reason we are who we are and we do what we do. It has to do with balancing energies, especially now because we are on the verge of a big change. In any case, never underestimate the value of what we do. As they used to say in the old TV series Knight Rider: "One man (or person) can make a difference.":)

[Patti Girl]

I feel that the "real me" is somewhere inbetween. A little femme and a little male.

As I'm sitting here now, I'm certainly not passable but I sure would be noticed as "different", LOL.

Patti

[EveMarie]

I feel that EveMarie is my "real" side. I am forced to go back to Marc when I'm at work or with my wife and family.:sad: Giventhe opportunity, I'd live and dress as Evie 24/7. I wear panties, paint my toes and occasionally my hand nails, in the winter when I wear sweaters I wear a bra under it, and as often as possible go around my house and neighborhood as Evie.

I've said it in other threads… given the chance I'd make the change:daydreaming:

[KeriB]

So, the question is:" How "real" is your femme "self" to you and would you be prepared to express it 24/7 given the opportunity?:)

My femme self is me... tho I am TG, I would absolutely positively present female 24/7 if given the right circumstances.. that is the dilemma I deal with now daily.

[jennifer41356]

So, the question is:" How "real" is your femme "self" to you and would you be prepared to express it 24/7 given the opportunity?:)[/QUOTE]



Very real, and yes I would go fulltime in a sec, about the only thing keeping me from it is not being able to use my own hair:Angry3:

[Karen_Ski]

Yes the female in me is real and if and when the circumstances are right I would love to go 24/7. As it is with the exception of work I probably spend 80% of my time as Karen. As for your comment about dressing down I learned a long time ago that jeans and slacks have a purpose and wear them when the situation calls for them. Sure I prefer a skirt and heels but there are times a pair of jeans and my pink Nikes fit in much better and are more practical.

[sandra-leigh]

Me... I just don't know for sure.

I've taken the COGSCI (or whatever it is) a few times and I'm not sure it is any more scientific than astrology, but I always come out with the same score, in the "Androgenous" range, enough negative to imply that for the purposes of the test I am more male than female (which is probably not inaccurate for me); the commentary for that range indicates roughly that I would probably be unhappy if I were forced to polarize as either male or female. And that sounds fairly plausible to me.

I've only been knowingly cross-dressing for less than four years, and I really haven't made any effort to study femme movement or femme voice and so on -- sure, it would be nice to be able to have a femme voice on demand, but it hasn't been important to me. That, I think, gives an important clue to the extent to which I presently need to "be" female: i.e., that it is not a priority for me.

On the other hand, a few times this week, I went out as "a guy in a skirt" or "a guy in a dress". In the skirt I went to several businesses, including a branch of my bank, and including a Greek deli a few blocks away where my wife and I are known by sight and remembered -- so in my skirt, I was pushing the boundaries, expanding my cross-dressing into "everyday" life. The dress was a similar story: I find it noticeably harder to be "a guy in a dress" than "a guy in a skirt"; dresses somehow seem more blatantly feminine to me and I'm not as comfortable being that "out", so I was pushing my personal boundaries to try to become more acclimatized to being seen that way. I took a bus a couple of miles in the dress on one day, and went grocery shopping in the dress (as a guy, remember) the next day. A guy in a dress with a distinct bust-line. And that was more important to me than going out fully dressed (which I could have done.)

Thus, what is becoming important to me is to be more publicly and routinely transgendered. I think it's more than just "more publicly accepted as wearing women's clothes", because my forms (or rather, the breasts they emulate) feel like an integral part of the process. If there was a way to have real breasts (say around a D or DD cup) without nasty health side effects, I would seriously consider it as a guy.

On the other hand, when I look at something like the "V-string" or prosthetic vaginas, my reaction tends to be "yeck!".

Sometimes I wonder if I'm going too far towards being publicly transgendered... I guess I worry a bit about my job, or worry about whether these feelings are going to last. The feeling that "Today I want to go out wearing a dress" is real enough at the time, but I guess I'm less certain that "Wearing dresses is an important part of my identity and is likely going to continue to be for the rest of my life." So I've faced up to the fact that I am currently a public cross-dresser, but I guess I haven't faced up to being permanently a cross-dresser. It's only been less than four years so far...

I suspect that I will tire (am already tiring) of the cross-dressing social scene here, at least in the form I am experiencing it. Sure it's nice to go out to the occasional drag performance, and it's nice to actually get out and socialize at a BBQ -- but the local cross-dressers are not my "family". Decent enough people, and some of them I would be proud to be their friend, but if I was getting sincere invitations to other BBQs, I'd probably be going to them too. I am not, though, at the point in my life where if a non-crossdresser invited me over, that I would go visibly transgendered "because this is the real me". Oh, I'd quite possibly be wearing all femme clothes, but not obviously so.

Perhaps some would read this and say, "That gal is in denial!" :doh:

I guess I'm on the cusp now, ready to move beyond public cross-dressing as an "event", but not being in the "I want to live as female" frame of mind. I think that mine may be a hard path (though not as hard as those who transition!)

[ReginaS]

If the barriers in terms of my work, some relationships, & society were removed AND I could entirely let go of my guilt and shame I would go 24/7.

[Helenevers]

In my case, altough I love crossdressing, and I would do it much more often if I could, I realized that my "real" me depends on the mood of the moment.

There are plenty of moods in which I feel much more comfortable wearing panties, heels, bras etc, however, there are others in which I feel better wearing my male clothes.

I do not know if time is going to take me more to one side or the other, but for now, this is how I feel...

Tamara... I feel the same as you do. There are times I am comfortable with my Male side and other times comfortable with my Female side. Beyond my control.

[Annemarie]

However hard I try, however feminine I look ( and I have very feminine facial features) , I still feel like the same old male self. I look like a women but I don't feel like one; quite disappointing but not really surprising.

[Victoria Anne]

Arianna ... I like it , "approaching zero point" now that is interesting. Okay to your question , in reading the posts I notice many are overlooking the "all barriers removed" . For me Viccy is as real as it gets , that said I do need to maintain a small bit of my male self for my dearest lovely wife Mrs.M. 24/7 ... mmm...well I do not own many "male" clothes , My job requires a face to face with the public so I must present as male. I wear womens jeans and tops as I am able , About half of my tops are womens come to think of it. I have my days were I will dress in a skirt , top , and jewelry but no wig or make up , I supose there will be a time when I will go 24/7 but not quite yet .Transitioning is not an option for me but living as Viccy is in the future.

[JessieB]

The only thing that hinders the reality of my blurred gender and feminine expression is the lack of social acceptance.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

My femme side is real to me and given the opportunity to go femme, I would do for a week, but I still enjoy being a guy.:)

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, the reason behind my questions was to test the waters and see who is in touch with their femme feelings and if so, would they be willing to go 24/7 to actually get more in touch with them.

In my case, I actually lived it as much as possible to do that. In essence, I had to become a "woman" as much as possible in order to become a man, which I never really thought I was. The end result is getting in touch with and balancing the feelings which I eventually integrated into my overall persona. The old saying "walk a mile in my shoes" if you will but really I did much more than that. I had to in order to really grasp the feelings, which is what it is really all about.

As I mentioned, the 24/7 option is still open if I so choose and I'm sure I would be successful. The truth is I'm enjoying the guy part now much more than ever and rather than trying to deny it, I embrace it along with everything else. I still enjoy CDing and socializing and dancing, etc. but knowing it's totally my choice to be whoever I want to be makes all the difference and this is what works for me.:)

[KandisTX]

Kandis is part of what makes me the person I am, while she is not a real person, she is a real part of the whole package.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[charlie]

Hello Arianna!
It is good to have you back. I enjoy your thought provoking posts and insight. I could never be feminine 24/7. I enjoy being male and having a wife (she does not understand the female transitions at all). I enjoy going to work and all that that entails. I enjoy being a guy. That said, I also enjoy dressing up in my pretties and being the best lady I can be 4 days a month or so. I love studying GG's on the street and seeing how they do their makeup, walk and wear their clothes. I work on my voice and hair to get the most out of my "fem" time. I'm still me though. I'm not playing a part, just overlaying some rules on my self that will make me more acceptable. Sort of like learning and then using good table manners at a dinner. Same you, just more acceptable. When I get ready and go out to clubs as Charlie, it takes almost one and one half hours to get ready. That is why it would be impossible for me to be a female everyday and every hour. The time and effort would be most unreasonable. It is still me though under it all. Not an impostor! Your point is intriguing though. You had to go all out and be a woman to find the man side of you.....WOW! I do question more things now then ever. I have to ponder that idea.

[DeeDeeB]

I can't see me going 24/7, even if it were totally acceptable. I am a male, and I've always been happy with that. But my feminine characteristics are always a part of me too, regardless of the wrapping I put on the package. I do enjoy my time as Dee very much and would probably dress more, particularly in public, if all limitations were to disappear. However, my view of myself changes with the phases of the moon and I'm glad to be able to express myself, even though not especially in public, in whichever sex I feel closest to at the time.

Ask me on the 18th (full moon) and I'll have an entirely different answer. (I just got a picture of me as Red Riding Hood's wolf in bed dressed as her granny - funny where the mind goes)

Dee :fairy1:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I guess i'm in a very small minority as I have never felt that Zara was the real me. I've had to contend with a ghost in my head for many years and that is where she comes from.

Yep, I'm a freak.

(Excellent choice in names by the way, Arianna ;)

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[jenny logan]

There has been a handful of times that I was able to be en femme full time for up to 2 weeks and I took full advantage of the opportunity. It was wonderful because ever since I can remember this is how I felt I should be. No doubt in my mind I would do this permanently if I could.

Jenny L.

[Rachaelb64]

Mmmm...... this is tough one, I feel my real 'self' is somewhere between my female side and my male side.

Dressing 24/7 is something I probably wouldn't do as I can be very lazy some days and just like to sit around in my male slobs unshaven doing a 'Homer Simpson'.

With my it is some like, 'Me, myself & Rachael' :)

BTW like the new name :)

[Fab Karen]

that's like asking how I feel in a business suit. I feel like me in a business suit, same answer.

[Miss Tracy Cox]

[QUOTE=deborah jane;1343999]Hi Arianna, [i like the new name BTW]

I think the more i explore my personality now, the more i,m coming to realise that my "femme self" is actually the real me.
The longer this goes on, the more my true self is coming to the surface and slowly encroaching on my old self.

i completly agree with debrah jane

[Danielle Hyatt]

Call me old-fashioned but I am a man and I don't thank I would like to go 24/7
maybe my femme side is 30% real to me so maybe a day or 2 here and their!!


Plese PM me if you want!!!!


Your Pal
Dan:D

[VikkiVixen7188]

Heavy Metal Guitar God Zach by Day.

Sexy Rockin Symphonic Goddess Vikki by Night.

[noeleena]

hi....What or who is the real me .am i real or do or have i acted a part. in life is there a male or a female ..when i was born the Dr said oh a boy . oh yea ..how wrong . so wrong . allmost 61 years ago. i was & am a female . just took me 50 years to see the out ward side of me as a women . my head knew i was .yes we have 3 grown up kids. jos & i ..i looked at the crossdreassing it was not me i did try then 11 years ago i told jos then . 6 years ago told our kids so for that time i have been living as a women should. just some bits missing as a gg will know . & it depeneds on how you are wired as a m or a f . i am in the center so gives me a perpective on being both yet i was not allowed to be both i had to be a male . yea right not that good at that yet it has helped me to be who i am to day i like all those things women can do yet i know i miss out on a big thing now most males would not like this part . to be able to have my ...own... baby . yes this is not a male talking this is ...me...as a women who does not have a womb . so for me as a c d . it would not have worked . i like the idear it would have solved a lot of problems .... being born who i am is just me as a women i am just accepted as one & its ..so.. neat. & its full time ...yea.... ...noeleena...

[PrettyGiGi]

Well, I always sit to pee...

If I could pass, I think I'd go 24/7. Unfortunately I do not think that will happen.