Childhood Revisited

[Emily Anderson]

So here I am in my mid-forties, pondering about my past, what led me into being a crossdresser (first attempt at the tender age of 4), and where this is all going...

So I have a chat with my mother about it, and it turns out that her memories are very different from mine. This is normal in a way I guess, but somewhat surprising that the times I remember being caught, she doesn't, but she remembers some CD-related stuff that I cannot recall at all. Weird!

Have any of you had the chance to discuss your CD'ing childhood with your parents and/or siblings (perhaps even childhood friends), and did you discover things about yourself you didn't know?

[Breanne]

So here I am in my mid-forties, pondering about my past, what led me into being a crossdresser (first attempt at the tender age of 4), and where this is all going...

So I have a chat with my mother about it, and it turns out that her memories are very different from mine. This is normal in a way I guess, but somewhat surprising that the times I remember being caught, she doesn't, but she remembers some CD-related stuff that I cannot recall at all. Weird!

Have any of you had the chance to discuss your CD'ing childhood with your parents and/or siblings (perhaps even childhood friends), and did you discover things about yourself you didn't know?
My answer os "No." But what an absolutely wonderful topic/question.

[Patti Girl]

Not CD related at all, but it seems that my father has a somewhat different memory of my childhood than I do. I guess what I'm saying is that one probably should expect a match of one's parent's views with our own.

And as I think about it, I'm sure my kids have a different view of their growing up than I do.

Patti

[SweetCaroline]

I rember it well. When I was a teen I was put into a "hospital for teens with behavioral problems". We had many group therapy sessions, yet I always remember my mother's description of me as an early child.

She said, when she sent me and my brothers and sister out to play, I was always the first to be let back indoors. I was happier in the living room with a puzzle or book than I was outdoors. I liked to draw and make things. I wasn't really shy, just to myself.

The shyness whould hit me hard a little later...

On edit: Most of the above info is Non-CD related, since I strictly hid that from my parents until last year.

[Angie G]

Up till 3 year ago I keep my dressing to myself So the only memories I have are all mine I was an only child and spent many hours alone dressing and hiding. And now it only my wife who knows. :hugs:
Angie

[27th Jennifer]

Only my wife and my therapist know about me. There are probably friends who suspect, though. Maybe one day I will tell my mom. I think she would be hip to it. My father passed away many years ago, and I know he would go nuts if he heard what I do. Luckily, I don't have to worry about him knowing.

[EveMarie]

My memories of early childhood are scarce at best, but one instance I remember well is the time I was swimming at a friends house and mom told me to (after not having any dry clothes with me) put on a pair of undies of my friend (a girl) who had the softest silk panties I have ever felt. For all these years later (53 to be exact) when I felt the softness and, at the time unknowingly, wonderful feeling of those panties when I was 4 years old has stuck with me all this time.:daydreaming:

[Nicole Erin]

I don't ask my parents about stuff from my past cause my dad is full of crap anyways. He acts like he suffers from altzeimers since he was born and can't get his story straight so I don't even ask.

[serinalynn]

My dad also past away years ago and my mother is in her 90's. I have discussed many things with my mom not related to CDing and I find she is very old fashioned about things so there would be no need to tell her about my dressing. She would never understand it.

[Terry V]

I have had different conversations with my children and they always remember things much different than my wife or I and I think it is because they saw things through different eyes and the things they remember were so important to them they cannot understand why we do not recall the same things they do it just was not that important to us.
My point is our parents saw things in an entirly different light than we did and we don't understand why it was not so important to them so we live and go on never really knowing what is or is not making an impression on anybody but ourselves. Life goes on.

[ReginaS]

My first memories of dressing are also at age 4…I found old nylons of my Mom’s and put them on and absolutely loved them. I remember being told by about the 3rd time that “you’re dad won’t approve. You have to stop that. It is not normal and people won’t like you if you do that.”
I talked to my mother only a year ago or so and told her how much shame I have felt and how I have hidden my crossdressing because of that conversation. My mom did not remember that particularly but said she did remember “wanting to protect me because if I kept that up people would not like me.”
I told her that hiding who I really am was the most damaging thing that could have happened but I do understand where she was coming from.
As much as I am opening up by embracing who I am, I still have a long way to go. I think about how much I still want to hide from my father, who does not know and both my mom & sister agree that he should never know. I wonder why I have to hide or be ashamed of who I am…I did not chose this but now I am choosing to accept and embrace who I am.
Being a T-Girl is still a tough road.

[whitelace]

Yes! I remember once my mom was recalling how she dressed me up as a girl when I was 12yo and snapped some pics of me and told me what a pretty girl I would have been. ( actually in the pic I looked like any 12 yo girl playing dress-up -an italian farmgirl ) I took that opportunity to bare my soul and tell her how I wear female clothes and that I feel like a girl ....what I didn't know was that my father overheard every word I said .....he basically disowned me and lost respect for me. but getting it off my chest eased my mind to an extent

I ended up loving that girl inside me and have always respected who I was
but anytime I ever confided in anyone they really didn't understand and felt uncomfortable If I ever brought it up ....lacie:battingeyelashes:

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Emliy I got the shock of my life when I was about 40, I was at a family reunion. One of my aunts and I were talking about when we were young an she said to me that you were a girl until u went to school. I knew that I liked womens cloths an that I dressed [closet ] for many years. I found out that my Mother and father wanted a little girl and to this day I thing that I was. Both of my parents are dead now so I can't ask them what happen. I dress often now as I have a wonderful girl friend that love me as a women. She likes the man part to but I can dress as often as i want and we love shopping together. We also are the same size in cloths and shoes, lucky me .

Josephine

[sterling12]

I'm like you, my first cognizant memories are around the age of four. Mom and I had such big whoop-tea-do's about my dressing that we certainly did not talk about it later on. But your right, I suspect we would both remember things differently....Mothers want/need to try and remember the best things about their children.

When I was in Nursing School during Pediatrics Rotation they related to us that few children have any memories of life before about age four. The brain is still forming, and long term memory doesn't seem to work very well in the very young. Perhaps the young brain is spending all of it's energy learning language and life skills. Except for some truly major event, (traumatic?) not much is retained. It would stand to reason that even around age four, what you did remember would be pretty selective. We can assume that your mother or others probably got some of the stuff right; some of that stuff that you can't remember.

Peace and Love, Joanie