g/f doesnt get the hint

[geoff352]

i've been trying lately to drop hints to my g/f about my interest in crossdressing, but to no avail. i'd like to show her that side of me (even though im scared to death of her reaction) but i dont know how to go about it. I like dropping the hints b/c i feel doing it that way would "ease her into it". but im about ready just to "accidently" get caught in my fem pj's or something. any advice? thanks gals!:)

[TracyH]

You can't get "a little bit killed"

Nor can you "sorta fly"

On that note, you can't "come halfway out of the closet"

"Dropping hints" isn't the way to do it. You can gauge her reaction, but eventually you're going to have to tell her. I'll tell you now that it's probably going to be better if you tell her yourself than to let her think that she found out on her own.

And quickly, I'm going to add that surprising her by "accidently" letting her see you dressed is probably the best way to ensure a bad reaction.

[Holly]

Here's a novel thought... how about being honest and forthright with her? How about having enough respect for her to be truthful with her? Put yourself in her position... would you appreciate being teased like you are proposing to do with her? I doubt it. I'm not unsympathetic to your situation but you did ask for advice and honesty and truthfullness is the best advice I can offer.

[Sharon]

You should definitely stop playing games and just have a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend. That is what will make it easier and kinder for her. You don't need to tell her everything at once, if you are afraid of her knowing the depth of your feelings(if there are any), but you could really cause her undo confusion and worry if you just leave "hints," and it would be only worse if you just jump out at her in your finest.

Think about the first two or three sentences you want to say to her, and then honestly respond to any questions she may have, and be there to assure her of your feelings for her.

Good luck! :)

[Josephine 1941]

I am with Holly, you should have though about what you are like before you got involed. I have found that up frount is the best way. I now have a wonderful girl friend that loves me as a women and a man . Plus we are the same size in cloths and shoes, do we have fun Josephine

[Di]

The ladies have given you really good advice:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: Since you are HINTING ...you must want her to know so stop playing GAMES Be brave enough and respectful enough of your relationship to stop with the game playing.

[brandi141]

i just told a girl friend of mine and she had hard time grasping it cause i dont come accross that way at all but she was pretty acceptin of it and she is takin me to get my first manicure and pedicure on wednesday.im so excited. good things can come out of it too. not always though.

[rian]

Before doing any thing make sure that she is willing to accept the news as u are by throwing couple of small tests to her , yet do not surprise her with a big move you will loose the whole issue . I have the same problem with my wife so Im moving very slow with my intentions ,I think I have passed in the middle of the road now by throwing some tests such as : I have convinced her to wear openly my women underwears and share some with her by telling her that men underwears are creating irritations to me so we switched to even strings too now ...so good luck on your adventure ...Guide well the ship prudently...

[crystinatx]

honesty is always the best policy hon. i came out to my wife only 2 weeks after we were first dateing. she not only accepts the fact that im transgender but also loves it since she gets both a husband who loves her unconditionally and a gf to go shopping with and enjoy sexual relations with and never worries i will get mad because its me lol.

i use the word transgender because i dont really see myself as a transvestite or crossdresser either really. i dress as much as possible and try my hardest to look as femme as i can when i do dress so i fall more into the transgender catagory than the normal CD

[iwearstockings]

Best to have a night in and tell her about it. No point in arranging to be 'caught in the act', its enough of a shock as it is!
Be as honest as you feel you can. When i told my S/O what started out as a few sentences ended up talking most of the evening. Its cathartic to talk about it.
good luck :^)

[Katheryn]

For a couple of reasons, when I got married I stopped CD'ing. I tried to be only half of myself. It didn't work out so well. I found out that throwing Katheryn into the mental equivalent of Alkatraz led to a souring of my personality. Once I realized this and knew that dressing up was more than an chosen activity, I had to come out to my wife. To say the least, it wasn't a pleasant evening, but we got through it.

I found out my wife's biggest concern wasn't someone finding out I wore skirts now and then, it was that I was TS, would have surgery and leave her for a guy. Years later, now, she knows this isn't going to happen and my earlier honesty (which, truthfully, followed years of dishonesty in not telling her) was real. Now, my sister is also aware, and she turned out to be thrilled to have a sister as well as a brother.

CD'ing for me isn't something I can't do. It's something I have to do to keep myself not only happy, but sociable and sane. If it is so deep a need that you must do it, express her now and then, realize that not telling her is going to lead to all sorts of sneaking around, and the very likelyhood of her thinking there's another woman in your life. There is. You.

If she thinks badly of you because you're a CD, well, you really weren't right for each other. I came to that conclusion when I was deciding to tell my wife. As painful as a breakup would be, it's pain all at once, not dragged (so to speak) over years.

Best of luck, hun.

K

[Angie G]

I'm with Holly when it got to the point where I needed more then an hour here and there I told my wife it was not fair girls could wear skirts and boy can't she let me wear one of her skirts and it went from there Now I dress from head to toe in bras panties skirts dresses hose heels some makeup Have both ears pierced and have some nice earrings and my legs are always shaved. so just tell her what you want to do. But go slow and let her get use to it. I happily give her the weekend with her HUSBAND As him in male mode.:hugs:
Angie

[jersey]

i've been trying lately to drop hints to my g/f about my interest in crossdressing, but to no avail. i'd like to show her that side of me (even though im scared to death of her reaction) but i dont know how to go about it. I like dropping the hints b/c i feel doing it that way would "ease her into it". but im about ready just to "accidently" get caught in my fem pj's or something. any advice? thanks gals!:)

Hi Geoff352,
You sound like you are ready, my advice to you is stop dropping hints and just tell her. Finding out accidently is never the best idea in a relationship, Only you can be the judge of her reaction, if she is open minded then great but be prepared for some upset. Sit down with her and come out with it there is no correct way of easing your SO into it, its one of those things.
Best of luck throughout this.:thumbsup:

[SilkyAlly]

Good luck hun, but as much as I hate to say it, if she does not accept you then it was not meant to be.

However, if she does then you should be very happy together for a long time. But yeah, you need to sit down and be honest with her, its the only chance you have of it all working out.

Fingers crossed it works out for you x

[loveaCD GG]

I would have to say telling her is the right way to go. No girl likes to just walk in on the scen where her boyfriend is wearing her cloths. All hell can break loose. If you feel you cant tell her face to face try writing her a letter. Good luck!

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah before I told my SO I tried the whole dropping hints.
She totally thought I was joking.
So I showed her that I was wearing hose under my jeans. That didn't go over well at all.

LAter we did talk in depth about it and everything was fine.

But yeah hints will just lead to problems. She won't be impressed to find women's underwear that are not hers laying around. She will think "another woman" before she thinks "My boyfriend is a CD".

[Jilmac]

Maybe the direct approach is more appropriate than hints. But be careful, she may not be ready to see you en femme. Or perhaps a movie like Tootsie would be a good ice breaker. At any rate, I wouldn't push her into anything. Being caught in your jammies might make her head for the hills. Above all, let her know how much you care about her. Luv and :hugs: Jill

[smokey]

it can be really tough to be surprised out of the blue. sit down and talk to her and let her know. may be good to have some info to show her, good objective info that you are still the same person, but with a side that can be an added dimension.

[Carly D.]

if you have the same shoe size then slip your foot into one of her shoes if she dresses up.. even if her feet are a full size smaller than yours you can wear her open toed shoes I'm thinkin'...

[kristacd20]

My gf thought I was cheating after finding panties at the back of my drawer.

[Sandra]

Stop hinting and tell her. If she finds out it will be alot worse.

[KimberlyS]

Grow up an be a man. Tell her about your femme side. Is that a contradiction or what? Seriously good communication within a relationship is the best way to keep things good.