Question ?

[Andrea_girl]

Here is a question to thoses girls how have plucked up the courage to go out dressed.

When your out and about in public and you get people looking at you, how do you tell that someone has read you or someone is just admiring a good looking girl?

[TSchapes]

I told myself I wasn't going to worry about it, and if they read me fine, I didn't care. And when you think about it, how many times have you looked at a real GG and wondered are they or not, only to discover they are a GG. Most people don't care and are only concerned about themselves. If you are looking around or asking every person to take your picture you will attract more attention and then the odds are not in your favor.

Love, Tracy

[Karren H]

That first step was the toughest... Went to the door 20 times and turned around... but finally just opened it and went out... And once youve been out enfemme... you'll wonder why you didnt' do it decades earlier...

Now a days........ for me at least... I don't care what others think of me and the way I dress... I have the right to dress any way I want... and imho, it's all an attitude thing.... got to act like you belong there, dressed as you are... like you own the place... like it's so normal.. and you basiclly push your reality out on others.... If you can do this, then no one will give you a second, more cloeser inspection.... Don't act like your trying to hide something... or try too hard to blend in to the landscape.... because that will draw everyone's eyes your way.... My approach is in the front door.... down through the middle of the mall or store.... plus SMILE!!! All the real girls do!! lol And above all else... Have Fun!!! It's what crossdressing is all about ya know.. :)

[JamieOH]

When I finally got the courage to do it, and went to the Grocery store the other day, I'll tell you, I was a nervous wreck.. I got out of the car, and walked in slowly, grabbed a cart and started walking when I realized THIS IS IT, NO TURNING BACK NOW.. I was there, as a woman, and it felt surreal.. It was like a dream, I was so nervous, I am sure it showed.. But I tried to stay as calm as possible, and walk as femme as possible without overdoing it, I am sure I wasn't walking right... But, I know I wasn't fooling anyone, I got a few looks, noone staring at me, noone looking at me with that OMG WHAT IS THAT! look, a few smiles, and they seemed more like genuine just hello smiles, not those OMG ITS A DUDE DRESSED LIKE A LADY smiles... Like I said, I don't think I fooled anyone, Look at my avatar and tell me, is that a face that could fool anyone? haha.. But, It isn't so much trying to fool anyone, I would love to be able to slip on some makeup and clothes and look like Jessica Alba, hold on, sigh, ok back now.. what a dream.. anyway, I am never going to look like that, I know that, I am probably never going to pass for a GG, and don't really worry about it.. as long as I am treated with respect, and as long as I demand respect with my demeanor and poise, I will get it, then I have succeeded and have had a wonderful time out.. WHich as it turns out I did on my first time out.. It was scary, and nervwracking and not to mention I was almost nauseous from the whole thing... but after I got back in my car, and smoked half a pack of cigs to calm down, I realized how well it went.. and I did it.. I had the courage to be ME.. and that was cool...

[Kate Simmons]

Last thing on my mind Hon. I'm just out there being myself and enjoying it.:)

[LisaElizabeth]

Andrea,
When you first start going out, you are usually nervous enough that you think EVERYONE has read you as male!!! After a while you realize NO ONE is paying any more attention to you than anyone else, they are lost in thier own little world!!! honest!
Now that I have been going out 2-3 times a year for a few years, I really don't worry about it any more. It is something you get used to, and there will always be someone out there that will give you a second glance. Some are approving and some are to decide if you are male or female. So WHAT? Let them wonder!
I say.... Go out and have a good time! If you are having fun, you won't care what anyone else thinks!
Lisa E

[TGMarla]

In my vast experience (yeah, right!), I really didn't care if I got read or not. If I caused anyone to look at me, it was because they saw a pretty woman out of the corner of their eye that drew a second look. If they read me on that second look, well, who cares? I will likely never see that person again, nor they me. I don't know them, and by the time they read me, I was gone. As for actually sitting in the restaurant with a bunch of transgendered individuals, well, I think everyone who took the time to notice knew that some of us were CDs, so once again, who cares?

I guess the bottom line is that the odds are in your favor that no one is going to harrass you over this. What if they were wrong? What a scene that would be! Just go about your business like you belong there, and everyone else can go to blazes.

[Kristen Marie]

I go under the impression that I will be read. At six feet tall without heels, I draw attention....period. So, there is no pretense that I will pass. I suppose that my fear, if there is one, is that I will not be accepted. I enjoy being Kristen. I enjoy getting out and about as Kristen. If I get a kind compliment, it's a good day. If it's an OMG...so be it.

[Megan_Girl]

Up to about a year ago I've was concerned with what others would think only to find out that most human beings are also concerned with what others think about them. We are all a bit self centered!

When out in Boi mode I'm thinking about what I'm doing, where I'm going, what happened a moment ago, etc..... I don't spend allot of time looking at my fellow beings. Sure I check out the cute girls & lovely ladies - but then I move on to the next thing. If I see the occasional out of place person - CD, Goth, punk, tattooed man, etc. I look and again move on to the next thing. And I think most everyone else does the same thing.

Since this realization I just go out when the opportunities come. These past 12 months have been a watershed year. I've been fortunate enough to have gone out to dinners, shows, bars, dance clubs, parks and more. It's been a real "coming out". I just don't care what others think - the chances are pretty good I'll never see them again and that's their loss; because thanks to the lessons of my mentor and makeup artist (Gina) I can look damn good if I put in the effort!
Scoffers can scoff and be damned. I'm out her living my life.......... and loving it.

[Eileen]

In the beginning I suspect most of us get read. Surprisingly, when we first go out, the world does not end! I know I have been read and as other here have said, so what!

Am I read now? I am sure I am. When I am in stores, I am too busy shopping to notice what others are doing. Guess I am pretty much like everyone else. In my own little world.

There are many reasons a person may look at you. Just be confident and smile. You will do fine.

Eileen

[Melanie R]

As I have found in my 29 years of going out dressed mainstream most people either are in their own world or do not care. If they did read me and were willing to talk they got an education about being transgendered.

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve only been out a few times and i don,t think people even noticed me, i didn,t even seem to get a second look!
The only comment i overheard was about my dog being cute, by two women who passed me when i was walking him.

[Leslie Foxx]

The first time ever I went out was with Eileen, who's post is a few responses above this one. I was a bit apprehensive, but after we arrived at the cafe, and got settled, a GG came over and admired my boots and asked where she could get a pair like them. That was the last time I even worried about what others thought when they saw me in public.

Most of the time, I don't think anyone even notices me, damn it!

[sterling12]

You know I may be oblivious, but I just don't think most people pay that much attention. I really don't see a lot of people freaking out and NEVER is there a direct confrontation.

If someone makes direct eye contact with me; I smile, say "hello," and move on about my business.

When I go out with a Group of Gurl's, yes we get "read" all the time. It's almost impossible to go out in a large group and not get noticed, for many different reasons. What usually happens, is people are just curious. Usually a woman, and rarely a man will come up to us and start asking questions. They aren't disrespectful just curious, and they seem compelled to start talking to us.

The only "beware" I would give you, if your particularly sensitive. Avoid hassles with Teenage Girls. They will always read you and if you let them get the upper hand, they can make things very tough on a lone CD. Best way to handle it....friendly confrontation! You take the initiative and go up and talk to them. It works amazingly well.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[sandra-leigh]

how do you tell that someone has read you or someone is just admiring a good looking girl?

Generally, you can see the difference in their eyes and in their smiles.

The other day on the bus, I was in guy mode but wearing a denim dress and had a distinct (but not exaggerated) bust line. I was making no attempt at all to hide what I was, a guy in a dress. A slightly older Asian fellow happened to sit down on a seat near me that had a complete view of me. It took him a short time to notice me as more than something filling a seat; once he did, he looked directly over at me, and his eyes definitely "grew wider" in amazement. He didn't frown or indicate any kind of displeasure: he was just amazed. It didn't feel like a "stare". I couldn't tell whether the idea of a guy in a dress was completely strange to him ("What will they think of next?!!"), or whether the reality of a guy in a dress in public was a breakthrough to him ("You can do that here?? I could do that here??")... as he didn't appear to break into a big smile and shift off into dreams of what he could wear outside :heehee:, I don't think he was a yearning to be out publicly gender-bending, but who knows? :daydreaming:

But the other people on the bus? They paid little or no attention to me. Some of them did look at me, and then turned back to whatever was on their minds. When I'm less obviously[I] gender-bending (even if I'm "a guy in a plain-ish denim skirt"), people mostly don't even see me: you can see their eyes not even focusing on you.

Do people read me when I'm fully Dressed? Taxi-drivers often do ("Where to, sir?"). People who have met me in guy mode often quickly recognize me when I'm fully Dressed (wig and all)... and most of of the people who recognize me don't seem even a little upset, and a number of them (especially the women, guys are shyer to say something) encourage me to lesser or greater extents.

Most of the people I encounter (but don't interact with) don't make any distinguishable indication as to whether they have "read" me.

I [I]have been admired as a woman a couple of times; I could see the "nice looking woman" grins as I got looked over. You've seen that kind of grin often enough on guys as a good-looking woman went by; you can recognize it when it is applied to you.

I have been admired sometimes by guys whom I could tell had "read" me; I couldn't really tell, though, whether they thought I made a good-looking woman and they were enjoying my female image where-ever it came from -- or if they were having thoughts of "Now, there's a good-looking she-male that I wouldn't mind schtupping!"


Now what is most ambiguous to me: When I'm gender-bending, perhaps wearing something that a woman would be likely to recognize as a blouse or woman's top but that a guy might well not "catch" as being "womens'", and pass a woman going the other way (especially 40-ish solo women), it isn't uncommon for the woman to give me a glance-over and then smile. Not "give me a big smile": the smile is not often "broadcast" at me (i.e., head not turned significantly, smile not deliberately held to be sure I see it). The meaning of those smiles is ambiguous. They often seem to be little smiles of approval -- but I don't know if they are just seeing me as a "nicely-dressed" guy, or as a "good-looking" guy -- or if these women are "reading" the clothes as being female clothes and are approving of the fact of my wearing them, or are approving of my particular selections of womens clothes as looking good on me... or if these women are observing my bust-line and are approving of the idea of a guy with with breasts... or approving of the idea of a guy wearing a stuffed bra and willing to be seen with a bust-line. And in all these possibilities that involve having been observed, everywhere I have written "approve", re-consider with the alternative "are amused by" ?

I don't know what those smiles mean... but I get some of them on most days that I walk, gender-bending, across the path of 30-ish/ 40-ish/ 50-ish women in quieter areas (e.g., when the women have a bit of time to observe me, in contrast to in crowds where I'd be an obstacle in view for only a few seconds.)

[Holly]

I just assume that they are totally captivated by my incredible beauty and radiant personality :D. Hey... it works for me!

[renee k]

Here is a question to thoses girls how have plucked up the courage to go out dressed.

When your out and about in public and you get people looking at you, how do you tell that someone has read you or someone is just admiring a good looking girl?

Hi Andrea,

Being read, usually it's the quizzical secound look.
Being admired, it's the warm smile you receive.
I've had both, the first one more often!!

Huggs, Renee

[victoriamwilliams1]

To be honest at 6ft inches in heels! I am either thought of as a tall woman or just a TG, after going out in public allot you learn to just ignore people and act as if you belong there. And yes I get nervous every so often when I am out! The only thing that drives me is it is better to go in ten jump back into the car after you get out.

On the bright side a person thought I played for the WNBA.

[Jilmac]

My Dear Andrea, I can honestly say that people have looked at me and for the most part,have read me right off. Even though, most people I have encountered refer to me in feminine terms. I have gotten a few gasps and whispers but even when I'm read most people will treat me like a lady.
Luv and :hugs: Jill

[carolyn todd]

hello andrea
i am and i'm sure one or two others are surprised that you
have not gone outside with your looks (every one of your pictures
i've look at say PASS), you have the look of a mature women.
perhaps you need to do some people watching go to your local
shopping centre, sit down look at the females go by,
what there are wearing there faces there are many diffent faces
have ago.
don't forget to tell us about it.

carolyn xx

[MAJESTYK]

Being read for me means villagers ,lots of them, with torches and pitchforks.

[Nikki A.]

If they do read you most would not not even acknowledge or comment. Those that do are usually complimentary (usually women). I think that they do because they can appreciate how hard you have to work at it to look somewhat passable. To me no matter how hard I try I still see myself as a man in a dress even though others say I look OK.

[Mitch23]

Am prepared to go pretty much anywhere and everywhere dressed now and not too bothered about being read. I would like to think that the stares are admiration for a sexy babe but i'm probably deluding myself. I like to provoke a little reaction anyway otherwise it would be quite boring ...

mitch

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Andrea,
I dont suppose you do, because lets face it a good looking woman gets lots of looks. I guess the secret is just to assume they are admiring you that way you will enjoy your time out much more than if you think youve been read.

Karen Hutton I really do think you have a very refreshing attitude to CDing. You are dead right it should be fun and enjoyed to its fullest. No point in going round making excuses for yourself, why should you anyhow. Sometimes it is so easy to take ourselves too seriously and miss out on the fun side of things because we are always thinking about the down side.

Continue to be an inspiration to us all because I think most of us love to read your latest adventure in tranny land.
Take care
Bev

[tamarav]

For many years I have advocated not acting like a victim, in any mode. Those that feel they are higher on the chain will always look for an opportunity to jump in with criticism or whatever. Don't give them the chance. Karren Hutton is so right, act like you own the place.

When I first went out I skulked around and even if I was doing a good job, people would look because I was the most likely "victim" in the place.

Now, years later, I have to tell the same thing to my clients, especially my transformation clients. Some will not step outside the door of my studio without prolonged assurances from me. One of my most apprehensive clients and I went shopping once, upon return a neighbor waved and said hi. I held my client back from running into the studio.

Later when talking with the neighbor, she said "that was a very nice looking lady, why is she so shy?" Not something about a guy in a dress. She saw the victim not making eye contact and at least waving.

That client is now out more than I am and she drops by now and then in her new car to sit and talk, then off to shop or see a movie or whatever. When I ask her how she overcame her fear, she just tells me that practice has helped, but she is now aware, most people don't really care about others.

Hold your head up, look people in the eye, and above all, smile. 99.99% of the women that you smile to will smile back, almost as many men will, but you all know how strange they are.... Who knows, that blonde smiling at you will probably be me!

Your sis,

Tami

[Bev06 GG]

I just assume that they are totally captivated by my incredible beauty and radiant personality :D. Hey... it works for me!

Good one, but Holly you left out elegant portage, tasteful dress sense and charisma.
Bev

[RobertaFermina]

Andrea,

I can tell I've been read when someone tells me so.

I can tell someone has made themselves uncomfortable about me when I see their eyes or facial expressions wince. I'm not sure I've been read, I may just be a "hideous-looking" woman to them. :heehee: even that's a small victory :D

Really, if they are smiling or neutral, what they think would not worry me at all.

One thing to watch out about. I met one lady at a party and she was kind in expression and words. Then, behind my back, she said to KewtNKurvy: "You put up with that?". It goes to show that appearances are just that, surface appearances. What goes on inside people is a mystery until they speak.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Kimberely416]

I have to say that I hear you loud and clear. I used to go out the odd time at night, feeling apprehensive the whole time. Then I joined a group. Guess what? The first meeting was at 8:30 in the evening; broad daylight here in the North. Like someone else said, I walked to the door at least a dozen times and turned around. I finally got the courage, got in the car and headed out. Driving to the club where the meeting was held, I cringed at every traffic light; thinking that the person in the car next to me would notice something strange. I finally got to the club and sat in the car for at least 15 minutes. "Can I really walk that half block, in broad daylight wearing a skirt with poorly done make-up?" Finally, I took the plunge. I have never looked back. That was about a year ago this month.

The gals are right. Most folks are wrapped up in their own little world to pay you any attention. Those that do are generally respectful. Watch out for young girls. They can be pretty mean with their comments. I just tell them that their insecurity is showing and that usually shuts them up.

Go for it girl and don't look back. You'll have a lot of fun.:love: