Bad Experiences Telling SO's?

[PrettyGiGi]

I was married years ago and at the time my desires were almost uncontrollable. Finally one day I confided to my ex wife that I wanted desperately to wear her panties. She absolutely flipped. She called me gay and wouldn't speak to me for days. She finally gave me some stuff to wear but asked that I never wear it with her, but she never really looked at me the same. That is not what led to our divorce but it could not have helped. I since found out she told her sister, who told her entire family. I am not sure I'll ever confide in anyone again like that.

[AmandaM]

Tell them early on, then they can't hurt you. I lost all my friends once when I told a girlfriend, who proceeded to tell everyone else. Now, I tell early, and screw 'em if they can't take it. That's my opinion!

[Emily Anderson]

Hi Gigi. Sorry to hear about your experience, though I must say it is quite a common one, even down to her telling the family and so on.

It's time for you to pick up the pieces and move on... There's lots of support around here.

[Bev06 GG]

I was married years ago and at the time my desires were almost uncontrollable. Finally one day I confided to my ex wife that I wanted desperately to wear her panties. She absolutely flipped. She called me gay and wouldn't speak to me for days. She finally gave me some stuff to wear but asked that I never wear it with her, but she never really looked at me the same. That is not what led to our divorce but it could not have helped. I since found out she told her sister, who told her entire family. I am not sure I'll ever confide in anyone again like that.

Well PrettyGiGi,
What can I say. Not everyone is the same. There are still those of us who believe that when someone thinks enough of you to take you into their confidence then the reward for that should be total loyalty.
Bev

[CowGurl Rachel]

I had a very similar experience with my first wife. I think that sometimes it is not that you tell them, but how. This will be a shock, and you should try your best to be gentle. In the service, we called this Tact. Confiding in someone isn't easy for either of you, but if you always keep it to yourself, eventually it will eat you up.

:hugs::love:

Rachel

[PrettyGiGi]

I sat her down and explained that it was just how I was wired and that I found the feel of the fabric exciting, and that it had to be hers because I loved her so much. She took it to mean I didn't find her to be enough and never understood. I printed articles, showed her websites, but she never could accept it. She was pretty vanilla when it came to our sex life, and by that point it had pretty much dwindled to seldom.

[AnnMorgan]

I brought it up and was promptly shot down. Shame too, there's a whole other person my SO will never know.

[Joanne f]

When i realised what i was i had to tell my wife, yes it did cause problems at the start and we went through a rocky time , and got through it , but i can tell you now my wife would argue passionately with anyone who had anything to say against cross dressers, she has a greater understanding and acceptance of it than i ever will , and i am one and a bit more .



joanne

[Tina Dixon]

I was married years ago and at the time my desires were almost uncontrollable. Finally one day I confided to my ex wife that I wanted desperately to wear her panties. She absolutely flipped. She called me gay and wouldn't speak to me for days. She finally gave me some stuff to wear but asked that I never wear it with her, but she never really looked at me the same. That is not what led to our divorce but it could not have helped. I since found out she told her sister, who told her entire family. I am not sure I'll ever confide in anyone again like that.
Not all people are that way but they sure leave a bad taste don't they.

[Tamara Croft]

I really don't understand the need to go telling people after a break up, I think it's the most spiteful thing a person could do. When Tam and I broke up for a short while, this was his biggest fear, he removed all his posts here and basically broke down and I do think that the fear factor aided that. I told him that I would NEVER tell anyone and I didn't... I kept my promise.... he already knows what I'd do if he cheated :heehee:

[Joanne f]

Apart from adultery and abuse cross dressing can be thought of as one of the biggest weapons to use against a husband when a wife wants to leave, that is why in my opinion it is unfair to call those that are in the closet a coward for not telling their wife's, yet it is rarely used as a good enough excuse by the authority's for divorce, but it still has that big fear factor that can be used against one .


joanne