Knowing whats right for you (advice needed)

[SilkyAlly]

Hey ladies :)

Im relatively new to not just this board but also being open with myself I like to CD. I tried wearing women's panties (a girl's I was seeing) last year for the first time and really liked it. However it took me a while to admit to myself that this was not just a one off, and a bit of a laugh and it really had some deep meaning for me. I only really came to terms with this in the last few months and decided to take the plunge and buy some panties of my own. I bought some online and it all sort of kicked on there, then I was picking some out in department stores and buying them (which was nervy but I did it). So for the last few months I have been wearing them around the house when I can (I live with my parents but they go away a lot, I dont really risk it when they are in, but maybe one week a month I wear them all the time.) I sometimes wear them out too, but if its somewhere with my friends I will wear boxers over the top (so if my jeans slip down theres a very obvious Calvin Klein logo rather than a pair of pink panties with "princess" on them lol).

Then I discovered here and its really opened my eyes. While I was always very comfortable about my panty wearing when I was on my own (as in I loved it and didnt feel guilty in anyway), I still felt I was a bit of a freak. But reading the great posts and stories of people on here has made me realise that its nothing to be ashamed of, its just part of who I am. Its not really something I feel I can be open about with everyone, but I feel a lot more reassured with myself :)

Anyway, finally getting to the point of the post (sorry, I love a good natter lol), im now wondering how much of a CD I am at heart. I can honestly say, I dont think I could ever see a day I dressed out in everyday life. Or indeed would want to. I have a great "guy" life which I really enjoy and im very happy and comfortable with my majority of the time masculinity. So, I would never want to give that up and am happy with my CD'ing being something I do for me (to let out the girl in me which is definitely there, even if she is happy being in the background). But at the same time, im thinking I would like to experiment with more extensive CDing. I guess before I came on here, I locked away other urges because I didnt want to admit to myself that I had them. But now I realise its okay to have them, I would like to explore them :)

The problem I have is though, on the couple of occasions I have gone beyond panties (fancy dress parties), there have been things I really did not like. Make up does not do anything for me really and after a while it felt uncomfortable, and I dont think I can see myself taking the time to learn how to do it myself. Also, I HATE bras! They feel so uncomfortable to me, I don't know how you ladies, put up with them! But on the flip side I really enjoyed wearing the stockings and sexy mini skirt and top combo I had on, I felt SO sexy in them. The heels were kind of fun after I had got used to them too lol

So im not really sure what it all means, I would like to examine my feelings further but im a little confused and unsure I guess. I was considering saving up some money and getting a makeover by one of the transformation salons near me, to see how I feel totally femmed up. But beyond that, im not really sure what to do. I can hide my panties in my room very easily, theres no danger of my parents finding them but if I start buying over garments then I will have no where to put them. Even if I do find somewhere (which to be honest, I could do, its not really a reason not to go any further....), im not sure if its right to only half CD and keep my face and hair totally masculine. Arrgh! lol

Sorry if I have rambled on, but I have felt some profound emotions since coming on here and while most are good, I am feeling a bit confused now. Im not sure whether this is normal for people like us, or whether im just weird. If any of you could give me some advice or experience of whether you have felt the same, that would be brilliant, I would love some sisterly advice.

Thanks for listening :)

Ally

xx

[Emily Anderson]

It sounds perfectly normal to me, as far as CD'ing goes. Every one of us has their likes and dislikes, and many of us waver between various states.

All I can suggest is that you take it as it comes to you, and enjoy the times when you dress up.

[charlie]

Hello Alley!
Welcome to the forum. I have been dressing for about a year now. I started as you have. Just trying a bit here, a bit there. Now I dress in full mode and take to the streets. At first I did not like to wear anything but skirts, nylons heels and panty's. So I wore those to a gay bar with no makeup, wig or girls top. Just male from the waist up. Several gay guys thought I was interesting, but fellow CD and TG people in the place took me aside and said I was quite the site. I'm now quite comfortable being the best girl I can be. I'm sure the same will be said for you. Go as far as you are comfortable and happy experimenting with. You are doing nothing wrong and are breaking no laws.

[suzy cool]

It's just something you get enjoyment from. Doesn't have to have any limits or rules. Some people do the full thing some don't. Your own comfort levels will tell you where to stop.

[Deborah Jane]

Just do what you feel happiest with Ally.
There aren,t any rules regarding crossdressing, just be yourself and be happy.
If you do feel the need to try more later, just do it and see if you enjoy it!!
You may find in time you,ll want to dress more, but you may also discover you don,t need or want to dress very often at all.

[deja true]

Yeah, Ally, like they said. Just do what you like at the time...

All people change all the time! So forget about saying that you'll never do something.

For now, you don't like makeup..That's cool. Maybe someday you will. Maybe not. No big deal.

I thought my tastes were pretty well set after years of experimenting with different styles and looks. But I just found the glories of NAILS, a subject I had been indifferent to for years..

Every day is a different day, hun. Just play 'em as they come!

[Aurora27]

Oh, its totally normal to be utterly confused. After I 'came out' to myself and to my fiance and set about discovering my fem identity there was a months-long emotional explosion which got very messy. I was a wreck. Mood swings, tears, anger, resentment, depression, elation - round and round in circles for weeks it was very draining.

And there is no set crossdressing path you have to follow - just do what feels good. Its been 6 months since I got around to figuring myself out, and in that time I have aquired one singlet-top that my fiance gave me cos she didn't want it and a black skirt I bought in a department store. I might wear them once every 2 weeks if I'm lucky, usually with boxer shorts underneath. Honestly I couldn't really be bothered going any further at this stage. Although I do paint my finger-and-toenails - different colours every few weeks. I have a vague plan to one day in the next few months/year to shave off my goatee, make myself up, wear panties/bra and some female clothes and see just how much of a woman I can make myself. But first I will have to aquire it all...

[sterling12]

I looked at your profile Silky, since you joined the Young CD Group and your at home with your parents, it's a safe assumption that you are "youngish."

At this stage in your life, your probably still working on just who you want to be. Your philosophy isn't cut in stone and it will probably take many years before you will judge yourself "completed."

And, that's the way it works with your crossdressing. In the future you will change and evolve, and you will find things are very different one year from now, and in the years ahead.

A lot of us started with similar backgrounds to yours. We only did lingerie, or we had a single fetish item that we really loved and didn't go "all the way." Typically, you will do about the same as a lot of us. You will slowly increase your CDing, wear more stuff, and have a whole different set of parameters that will change from time to time.

You might even stop for a while, maybe years. But almost always, The Urge comes back and it's stronger! I know it seems about a million years away right now, but many Cd's see a real upsurge in their middle-age.

So, the best advise: "Stay loose, don't close your mind to any eventuality, work on self-acceptance." If I had it to do all over again, that's what I would do.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[SilkyAlly]

Thanks everyone, all your comments are very reassuring. I guess I just have to try new things and see what I like and what I do not. Where that will lead me I will just have to see. Guess its going to be fun finding out :)

Thanks again ladies xx

[Hilary]

Just do what you feel is the right thing for you Silky. After all, who writes the rules for what you should feel or want to be. All these feelings are inbuilt so you won't get rid of them easily even if you wanted to so, just enjoy.

[Angie G]

You will decide what level you want to be at in dressing If it's just panties or all the way. It's OK ether way there is no right or wrong what ever you decide your level is and you comfortable with is good your not weird you alright. So try different stages and go with what you feel is good for you.:hugs:
Angie