This has been bugging me!!! [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Tina Dixon

07-04-2008, 08:18 PM

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post it or even if I should, but I'm a bit ticked about the picture area, and it has nothing to do with the Mods but us members, seems like if a gal posts her pictures and shes drop dead good looking she gets a ton of posts, now if a new gal posts a picture and shes just starting out and has aways to go she hardly gets any replies, also the hottie that has it down don't all ways seems to give replies, come on give all the girls equal time here please is all I ask, and yes I have found my self making this mistake all so in the past but I am far from the hottie stage, thats all I have to say.

Emily Anderson

07-04-2008, 08:21 PM

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.

Tina Dixon

07-04-2008, 08:24 PM

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.
Still deserves a reply.

Angela-Russell

07-04-2008, 08:26 PM

Well said Tina. A little bit of encouragement goes a long way.

Holly

07-04-2008, 08:28 PM

...If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.And if she's rude...:sad:. Some people just don't "git it."

TommiTN

07-04-2008, 08:30 PM

Don't you worry about it, Tina. You look good enough! I'd hate for anyone to see me right now. Scary! Just keep working at it, you'll get there.

Tamara Croft

07-04-2008, 08:36 PM

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.And comments like these don't help either, this is just rude :Angry3:

Tina I've been thinking this for a long time, I gave up posting in there tbh, because they were always shot down with all the people posting in threads that get loads of replies, but it was a waste of time, members tend to 'bump' up their own threads just to get them back on top, anyone would think it was a competition to see who could have the most threads on one page...

Sherlyn

07-04-2008, 08:41 PM

Wow .... this is interesting ...think hmmmmm ..takes a break

Deborah Jane

07-04-2008, 08:43 PM

Everyones got to start somewhere and it would seem that with encouragement in the first pics, people gain the confidence to try differant things and post further pics until eventually the shy newbie becomes a regular poster in the photo thread

Just my :2c:

jamie55

07-04-2008, 09:03 PM

Hi Tina: I agree with you too, but I hafta say that it's a crap shoot. If you happen to post during a slow week you may not get many responses. On the other hand when there a lot of gals cruising you will most likely get more. When I posted I was tempted to "bump" it up every once in a while but refrained from doing so. Needless to say I haven't posted any since the first time. In many ways it's just like high school, All the pretty girls get all the attention and that's just human nature. We all want to be recognized and sometimes you just have to toot your own horn to get attention.

Daintre

07-04-2008, 09:04 PM

I guess what keeps coming back to me is the fact that this is a support Forum, It is where we can learn, teach, and enjoy in a positive manner. I am not saying everything has to be rosy, but come on folks, when members post their pictures, surly we can give comments in a positive way. Remember, for some starting out this is a scary thing. :sb:

Jonianne

07-04-2008, 09:09 PM

I saw a post today that was unbelievably critical of a new persons post and picture. I think we should be here for each other to support, not to intentionaly belittle someone.

Sherlyn

07-04-2008, 09:20 PM

jamie55

07-04-2008, 09:38 PM

Everyone who feels this thread is hitting a nerve...back off on the picture posts for awhile and start supporting the others in the section for awhile ..It has hit a nerve with me and I'll be the first to start
Hi Sherlyn: If I may be so bold. I don't think it's necassarily productive to quit posting but the point is to also respond to the others who do. I know I don't respond to many threads, (I guess I am mostly just a lurker) but it is sometimes very gratifying to know that someone appreciates the effort.

Sherlyn

07-04-2008, 09:43 PM

I hear what your saying and I never said quit..just take a chill !!!

KarenCDFL

07-04-2008, 09:48 PM

It would be exactly the same on a completely straight site.

This is just our society.

The good looking get noticed and the not so good looking do not.

DemonicDaughter

07-04-2008, 10:38 PM

pinkeverything

07-05-2008, 12:12 AM

I'm terrified to post a picture of myself online. I can't get over the risk of someone noticing that it is me. It's ridiculous, I know. I've only just begun to explore crossdressing with my SO. In fact, she has only applied makeup to me one time (last week) and it has been the greatest experience I've had save the pleasure of my child and being a parent. Being accepted when I expected to be anacceptable was a real surprise.

Maybe you girls will accept me. Maybe not.

So far I am really proud of myself for joining this forum. I'd never lurked nor explored, but when I finally searched I found this forum right away and I am grateful.

I'd like to post pictures of myself, and maybe in time I will. So far I am just a chicken though.

Brina Halloween

07-05-2008, 01:13 AM

I am new here. I didn't notice the picture area until I signed up. I've seen some pictures that the ladies looked like I could ask for a date if I met them in public. I've seen some that didn't "fool" me at all given the website. I have danced with ladies that I KNOW are female that could make you wonder if they were guys. We are all more likely to notice what we like and life isn't always fair. So far I have not replied in that section since I don't really know anyone. If I did decide to post there, I would hope for positive feedback and if an "improvement" is suggested I hope it is politely phrased.

Brina

TracyH

07-05-2008, 01:16 AM

Katelyn

07-05-2008, 03:58 AM

Ooooh. Interesting topic. From my point of view, I see 3 different sides. Yes Three. The First side is just going to the pics and only posting on the ones that we think are great. I'll admit it. I'm guilty of that too. On the other hand, I've seen some that will post no matter what. I could start a thread right now and put a picture of a sock and ask what someone thinks and chances are i would get replys from others that post on anything just to bump their number of posts up. Then there's the third side. The side I love. When I first joined, my pics weren't that great. I got a few replys, but I got PM's. Only the person who pm'd me and myself knew about these. sometimes I got more of these than I did posts in my thread. They meant alot to me and helped me get better. To me, when I get a pm, it's better than a hundred posts.

Wendy me

07-05-2008, 04:33 AM

i don't post pic threads very often ..... i look them over and i don't do a lot of posting in that forum.... it dose seam that you can see some threads getting tons of replies and some with little or no replies ..... thread bumping sucks in all sections .... and is against the rules ......... getting every one to play nice????............

Sandra

07-05-2008, 04:39 AM

But wouldn't it help to comment on those who aren't "so hot" to encourage them to do better? I mean, how many here were instantly gorgeous when they started? It takes time and practice. Wouldn't/didn't you want encouragement? You need not lie but you don't need to ignore either.

:iagree:

Also this is supposed to be a support forum, so where's the support for someone who's new and trying and gets hardly any posts whether critical or not?

Teddie

07-05-2008, 04:51 AM

But wouldn't it help to comment on those who aren't "so hot" to encourage them to do better? I mean, how many here were instantly gorgeous when they started? It takes time and practice. Wouldn't/didn't you want encouragement? You need not lie but you don't need to ignore either.

Constructive comments, yes. But, comment. Look at the numbers they tell it all.

Aurora27

07-05-2008, 05:09 AM

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.

It's very blunt, but she makes a fair point in a way. Of course those who look amazing are going to inspire a whole bunch of replies from people saying 'you look amazing', which in a way is fairly redundant. Not that I suport this in any way, which is why I never post in picture section, I figure if someone looks good I'll let the hundred other lemmings all say so. There are no pics of me because they would just be me in my one top (its green with a touch of lace), and everyone can see my face (and goatee) on my profile.

That said, it would be nice for the more experienced to offer constructive criticism to those who may not look quite as stunning as they might - its a bit heart wrenching to see someone who's tried hard get neglected because they're not as pretty as some.

Bev06 GG

07-05-2008, 05:33 AM

It is a well known fact that men are very visual and looks really matter to them. This is something we women have had to put up with most of our lives, constantly being compared or criticised for the way we look and even being ridiculed (and not just by the opposite sex either) so welcome to our world.
It have to ask though, how many of you JUST went for looks when you were choosing a partner. I doubt very many of you. There is a whole lot more to being a woman than the way you look. Some of us were blessed with great looks and fantastic figures, some of us were not. Some of us are photogenic and some are not. So girls just remember when you are trying to emulate women, we are not all drop dead gorgeous, but we are all quite unique.

And Tina don't get disheartened Girl, i doubt if I posted in the picture gallery I'd get lots of wows and I'm the real mc coy, but the lack of responses wouldn't make me feel any less fem than I am.
Bev

Deborah Jane

07-05-2008, 05:51 AM

And Tina don't get disheartened Girl, i doubt if I posted in the picture gallery I'd get lots of wows and I'm the real mc coy,
Bev

Yeah you would :):hugs:

deja true

07-05-2008, 05:52 AM

Aurora's right...It is sad sometimes to look at the photo threads and not be able to offer encouragement. Many of us feel bad enough about our own looks and haven't a clue about how to give constructive counsel or advice to another. So we often just don't post at all. Most of us are sensitive enough to follow the old adage "If you can't say anything nice...then...". And most of us certainly don't want to publicly embarrass anyone by commenting negatively, even if it is meant to be helpful!

But Clarissa's got the answer! There are a fair few here who do indeed have it sorted. They have lots of experience and a terrific way with clothes and makeup. A PM, a personal, private message from one of the 'pros', offering advice and a hint or two would make a newbie's day. Any of us would love to get a personal message of encouragement from one of the photo section 'stars'. And this is a way to make new friends, too!

Could you do that, beauties? If you see a girl with an issue that you know how to fix, could you take the time to send her a note with some polite criticism and a helpful hint?

And not forgetting our supportive GG friends, too! Who better to advise a potential beauty than a natural beauty?

Angie G

07-05-2008, 06:01 AM

Well said Tina Great point hun.:hugs:
Angie

Bev06 GG

07-05-2008, 06:03 AM

Yeah you would :):hugs:

LOL thanks Deborah, you have a way with words.
Bev

Tina Dixon

07-05-2008, 08:07 AM

And Tina don't get disheartened Girl, i doubt if I posted in the picture gallery I'd get lots of wows and I'm the real mc coy, but the lack of responses wouldn't make me feel any less fem than I am.
Bev
Oh I'm not disheartened, I just remember way back when I posted my first pic, no head no boobs hell I didn't even go by my name back then, and I would come on line and see if I got any coments and I'm sure thats what the new gals are thinking, oh yes I think you get a few replys if you posted your pics.

christid66

07-05-2008, 08:29 AM

Tina,
You make a great point. I needed tons on 'brave pills' to even post a message on here and it wasn't without the support of people on here that I was able to 'progress' to taking & posting pics.
I know I'm no Jessica Alba/Halle Berry etc, but I feel that I've been able to progress - well at least in my own mind. If there had been no comments/advice, I'd have taken that as negative and been driven even further back 'into my shell'. I also asked for & received some constructive advice sent via PM which also helped me.
Therefore the effect that this board has, both positive and negative, should not be under-estimated.
This is a great board and I don't know what I'd do without it:thanx:

Christine Kelly

07-05-2008, 08:32 AM

TGMarla

07-05-2008, 10:00 AM

First of all, Aurora, it's not very nice to refer to others as "lemmings" just because one tends to drop a one-liner in a thread letting that gal know you think she and/or her outfit looks good. I'd think that posting little supportive comments would be encouraged whether the poster is a knock-out or not.

I do not make a response to every thread that goes into the picture forum. But I do lend encouragement to the threads that show something worth commenting on, be it a really nice makeup job, or a good outfit, or both. Some have exercized creativity and experimented with alternative photography, such as black-and-white filters, etc., that make the pics more noteworthy.

I don't follow cliques, either. There are some on this forum who I like better than others, but that's the nature of friendships. But when one of us puts up pictures that really make a splash, that gets a load of responses, it's more often than not because that person put a lot of effort into the final result that made those pics remarkable. And I have no problem with those threads getting a huge response. If your thread gets little or no response, perhaps you could ask for some help as to what you can do to make yourself more presentable and appealing in your pictures.

I understand that some are a bit shy about showing their faces. But if you saw off your face, it takes away from your picture. I think it's fair to say that pictures showing someone who spent hours getting her face and her outfit ready are going to get a much better response than pictures showing someone in "girl jeans" with her head lopped off.

I encourage everyone to post pictures, but if you get a lousy response, look to the reasons why, and seek to correct it, if it's really all that important to you.

Hmmmpf! Lemmings, indeed! :hmph:

DemonicDaughter

07-05-2008, 10:16 AM

Well, I put my money where my mouth is last night. For the threads that looking on cue with their game, I answered in kind. For those less so, I still offered encouragement without being mean. Its fully possible and doesn't take all that much effort. I don't think we all need to tell another person how to improve in a thread, the pm idea is great. But it doesn't hurt to say someone looks like they are having a great time, or that a particular article of clothing looks good.

I don't know why anyone would feel they have to say something regarding just the person's appearance. There is so much more to the pictures and the person. Even just commenting on the bravery of posting a pic, or making a funny comment is encouraging. It need not be criticism at all.

Maria2222

07-05-2008, 10:38 AM

I generally hang out in the jokes and trivia section, but I do love to take pics and post them, and have a few comments on this thread. They all have to do with being supportive.
1)None of us asked to be a CD. It just happened. As you all know, we're different from others and can sometimes feel very alone. That's why we join groups like this. To be with others like us, to be part of a community where we can fit in, to feel natural, and to be accepted. We come here to socialize with our own kind and we hope to be accepted. There are plenty of people out there in the real world who would bash us down in a second if given the opportunity, we certainly don't expect that from other CD's. If a CD can't find acceptance here, where can she? So point number one is let's be supportive of our sisters. It doesn't take much effort to say a kind word to someone.
2)I imagine that very few of us are naturals at something where we just started out and were much better than others who had been practicing at that thing for years. It's the same way when presenting as a CD. We all start as beginners and need to learn how to do things, and there are so many things to learn about presenting. I know that I can present much better today than I did 20 years ago (of course I had a full beard then :) ) and I expect to learn new things and to be even better at presenting in another 10 years. Many of the people posting pictures are new to this, and many of them have fears that their pictures will not be well received. A few unkind words at this point could drive them back into the closet never to come out again, even to other CD's. It won't kill anyone to give them some encouragement, some support, and some tactful suggestions. That's how we learn, and it doesn't have to be unpleasant or demeaning.
3) I believe we were born CD's. It can be a tough life, but it can also be a good one. We have something that nobody else has and we should enjoy it. Dressing up is in our blood and we should have fun doing it. It's a part of ourselves and we should enjoy and accept it. Having fun dressing leads to wanting to take pics so you can relive your fun later. Taking pics leads to wanting to share them with others. For many posting these pics is a first and they do it tentatively and their feelings are fragile. Let's not ruin it for them. A few kind comments will encourage them to enjoy their dressing more and perhaps help them in accepting their CD life. Let's show them support.

I don't think I'll quit my job and apply as a presidential speech writer yet. I also hope I didn't sound like I'm preaching. It's just that if CD's can't or won't help each other, then who will?
I guess this is my :2c:+:2c:+:2c:+:2c: worth.

Brina Halloween

07-05-2008, 10:53 AM

And Tina don't get disheartened Girl, i doubt if I posted in the picture gallery I'd get lots of wows and I'm the real mc coy, but the lack of responses wouldn't make me feel any less fem than I am.
Bev

If the avatar is an indication...you would get a lot of responses.

I like the PM idea. I do wonder how many use that method to be "sensitive". Me, I need to locate it first. I haven't noticed a link to an inbox yet (I'll find it eventually)

One other thing, all the picture threads I have looked at were along the lines of "I took these pictures today" . I have not seen one yet that said "would you please help me improve my look". The type of response probably is a little dependent on the presentation.

Brina

Sherlyn

07-05-2008, 10:56 AM

Nicole Erin

07-05-2008, 11:12 AM

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.

Either way, there is still just a plain ol looking guy underneath. Remember that next time you are admiring a CD. Sad thing is, normally the prettier she is made up, the goofier "he" looks in drab. [what gives with that anyways?]

OFten the most responses go to the best looking, but sometimes a pretty one gets few and sometimes the not pretty ones get plenty.

Do you know what response is THE lamest? I mean worse than insults, worse than all? This one -
"It looks like you had a good time".
Gyod even if someone said "You look like the south end of a north bound mule" at least someone knows they need work. But "it looks like you had a good time" is about as LAME as asking someone if they are working on their car when the hood is open and they have a wrench in hand... :brolleyes:

DDUUUUURRRRR!!!!!

renee k

07-05-2008, 11:15 AM

And if she's rude...:sad:. Some people just don't "git it."

Holly, I totally agree with you, being rude doesn't get you anywhere,or earn respect!

Renee

Vieja

07-05-2008, 11:26 AM

I don't post much and when I do it is because of the content that the originator of the thread has put out. I enjoy looking at the pictures and thinking "WOW!" about some of them but I don't really think I have ever responded because I liked the avatar of the originator.

Vieja

Mona

07-05-2008, 11:30 AM

I try to offer encouraging comments to new posters and usually will comment on a friend's photos. I remember the encouragement I got about my 1st photo post (which wasn't that great) and it made me want to try harder!

Tina Dixon

07-05-2008, 11:30 AM

What Marla and DD have pointed out makes what a picture can be all about ..on a personal level .I have and always will put alot of effort in my pictures..after all if you going to be seen why not make it your best effort everytime..always try to step it up a notch..The gallery is what it is ..a place to flaunt yourself...so go for it..pics that dont jump out right at ya are naturally going to fall by the wayside.I dont have elaborate settings for my gallery pics ..but we do try and make sure the lighting and angles are right..Its a Gallery where we want to be seen (obviously) ..put more effort..make it say something and you will be heardI expect nothing more from you Sis than a full effort and your pictures do jump out, but lets not forget you are a Moderator here, you do more than show up with your pictures and reap praise, you give back to this forum, heck I remember asking you things and you have been a big help to me, now for some it a big deal to post there pictures and the rest of us just need to cheer them on.

07-05-2008, 11:54 AM

well Tina that never occurred to me . i guess your right . i tend to respect everyone equally , but don't have much to say as most say it for me ..
and i am not the brightest bulb on the tree .. so i tend to keep it simple when i do reply .. unless i get in first ..
besides that you can tell a lot from someones post there Passion and character therefore i don't need to see a picture just read the posts you can see that ...

07-05-2008, 07:08 PM

I kept telling myself not to post.... in this thread. But my bull headedness won out. First off the gallery mods both support the members that post pics in there.... sometimes it is Behind the Scenes/ pm's ect. AND futher more there are prob 8 girls that I can think of on the top of my head that pop in to just put their pics in and thats it.....it has been nicely pointed out to them by a certain mod :love: to post and support the other girls...but most the time it falls on deaf ears.
So now can we go back to having fun in the gallery now!:D

StephanieF

07-06-2008, 08:22 PM

Everyone who feels this thread is hitting a nerve...back off on the picture posts for awhile and start supporting the others in the section for awhile ..It has hit a nerve with me and I'll be the first to start

Hmmmmmm Reading the different posts I see the odd raw nerve exposed here. Not sure what's going on but Sherlyn's advice seems sound. Isn't this supposed to be about support.

As a new member I don't think there's any question about the one single priority this thread brings home to me. Just what are these pictures you speak of and where do I find them?

On second thought, never mind. I didn't come here to look at pictures.

Nicole Erin

07-06-2008, 08:31 PM

...there are prob 8 girls that I can think of on the top of my head that pop in to just put their pics in and thats it...

Some are like that. I always wonder where they get those photos. Especially the ones that pass a little too well for being CD.

TSchapes

07-06-2008, 09:26 PM

Here's just some of my thoughts in no particular order:

I don't know what you are talking about. I've seen some poorly taken photos only to have many comments on them. I've seen some exceptional photos only to languish. It's truly a c**p shoot. Maybe there's sock puppets I don't know. It's just odd and unpredictable.

When you post on the picture board and people say you look great when you don't, it gives you a false sense of security.

I've given up giving advice as I feel I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I don't know how you will take the advice.

What works for me does not necessarily work for you.

People get bored of certain people's pictures, so you end up giving them a rest on the picture thread. I've put mine in an album if you are curious, you can find them there or on my blog.

If you really want to test your pictures in the WWW post them on "Hot or Not" instead, great market research. You get an actual number from 1 to 10. They don't even have to know you're a CD!

I've given advice only to find out it was a troll that was there to make fun of me. So I don't feel like being made a fool of again.

Some are opposed to photoshop, even if you only use it for backgrounds or color adjustment. I have no choice as I do all of mine indoors.

This is not meant as criticism, I'm just saying, take the results with a pound of salt.

And finally, if you do think I know what I'm talking about and want advice, please PM me or email me. I'll be glad to help. I love helping. I just don't want to offend.

Love as always, Tracy

jennifer41356

07-06-2008, 09:44 PM

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post it or even if I should, but I'm a bit ticked about the picture area, and it has nothing to do with the Mods but us Nmbers, seems like if a gal posts her pictures and shes drop dead good looking she gets a ton of posts, now if a new gal posts a picture and shes just starting out and has aways to go she hardly gets any replies, also the hottie that has it down don't all ways seems to give replies, come on give all the girls equal time here please is all I ask, and yes I have found my self making this mistake all so in the past but I am far from the hottie stage, thats all I have to say.

Not to be rude or anything , but isnt this a broad statement...doesnt it all depend on what the poster of the pic is searching for...some post pics and say I bought a new dress how does it look?...I will sometimes post a reply if there hasnt been a lot of replies

Some post a pic and ask how do I look and what can I do to improve?..these posts will get a lot of replies as well because I think many folks here like sharing their secrets with others.

So to say only the hot ones get all the posts is a bit of a stretch, i think you need to see what the poster is asking:2c:

Sarah Doepner

07-06-2008, 10:05 PM

I think it's just so much easier to post a positive comment than it is to offer constructive criticisim in a way that won't offend the person who posted the photo. I see photos that tell me the poster would benefit from some good advice, but I'm at a loss as to what would be best to say. I know I have been very careful in choosing what photos to post on the photo page or in the gallery. I guess I'm not ready for too much truth.
I'll probably post something new now that the issue has come up. I need a bit of good advice.

LilSissyStevie

07-06-2008, 10:16 PM

Should it be like what they do in grade school these days where everbody "wins" the race if they show up or if they at least meant to be there? I wonder how you would go about enforcing this sort of "encouraging post" egalitarianism. Maybe the mods could limit the number of posts in the "hottie" threads until the "nottie" threads catch up. Heck! Maybe I would even post my ugly mug. It would be fun to watch people strain to say something encouraging --"Gee Stevie, I saw your picture and I'm feeling better about myself as a crossdresser. Thanks a bunch!!"
:love:

JaytoJillian

07-06-2008, 10:27 PM

PMs are definitely the way to go when offering pointers. There is one member here who I thought was being a bit rude to me in their feedback on my pix. When I viewed other posts that this person had made, I began to understand that that was the way in which they communicated with everyone. However, I would have still rather it had been said via PM, as on the surface it seemed a bit mean. Basically, what we all learned as kids should apply; 1) if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything. And 2) there's always something nice to say about someone.

Raquel June

07-06-2008, 10:33 PM

I see a common sentiment here:

I guess what keeps coming back to me is the fact that this is a support Forum...

I think we should be here for each other to support, not to intentionaly belittle someone.

Everyone who feels this thread is hitting a nerve...back off on the picture posts for awhile and start supporting the others in the section for awhile ..

But wouldn't it help to comment on those who aren't "so hot" to encourage them to do better?

Also this is supposed to be a support forum, so where's the support for someone who's new and trying and gets hardly any posts whether critical or not?

I'd think that posting little supportive comments would be encouraged whether the poster is a knock-out or not.

I do love to take pics and post them, and have a few comments on this thread. They all have to do with being supportive...

it has been nicely pointed out to them by a certain mod :love: to post and support the other girls...but most the time it falls on deaf ears.

Isn't this supposed to be about support.

But what exactly does it mean to support/encourage? How are we supposed to do that? I think many of us share Tracy's feelings:

I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I don't know how you will take the advice.

...

And finally, if you do think I know what I'm talking about and want advice, please PM me or email me. I'll be glad to help. I love helping. I just don't want to offend.

We all want to be help, but what do you say?

When you see a girl who obviously doesn't look up to par, what are you supposed to do?

If you say nothing, you may hurt her feelings and she'll assume the worst. "Yep, I look as bad as I thought."

If you just say, "Lookin good!" or "Looks like you had fun!" she may feel it is patronizing.

If you randomly offer advice on how she could look better, she may be very hurt. "Oh, you think I look that bad? You automatically assume that I want your advice?"

I really don't know what to say to people.

I know that personally I don't look nearly as good as most girls on here who post pictures. I'd really like advice on looking better, but when I ask for it people seem afraid to give it to me.

And as far as bumping threads, I really don't know what do to there, either. I mean, when I made a picture thread and someone says something nice, I'd kinda like to publicly thank them, but I also don't want to look like a crazy narcissist constantly bumping my own thread.

Ashley in Virginia

07-06-2008, 10:41 PM

But what exactly does it mean to support/encourage? How are we supposed to do that? I think many of us share Tracy's feelings:

We all want to be help, but what do you say?

When you see a girl who obviously doesn't look up to par, what are you supposed to do?

If you say nothing, you may hurt her feelings and she'll assume the worst. "Yep, I look as bad as I thought."

If you just say, "Lookin good!" or "Looks like you had fun!" she may feel it is patronizing.

If you randomly offer advice on how she could look better, she may be very hurt. "Oh, you think I look that bad? You automatically assume that I want your advice?"

I really don't know what to say to people.

I know that personally I don't look nearly as good as most girls on here who post pictures. I'd really like advice on looking better, but when I ask for it people seem afraid to give it to me.

And as far as bumping threads, I really don't know what do to there, either. I mean, when I made a picture thread and someone says something nice, I'd kinda like to publicly thank them, but I also don't want to look like a crazy narcissist constantly bumping my own thread.

Simply perfect. Exactly what I was thinking. Thanks for saying it.

Sherlyn

07-06-2008, 10:55 PM

In general if you look in any section of the forum you will see the same sorta thing going on as in the Gallery ..popular members with lots of reply's.....its just not the Gallery !!!!! take a look in this section for example..threads on HOT topic's sending others down the page

daviolin

07-07-2008, 12:08 AM

I try to read all the picture post's and I really love checking out all the girl's. I don't respond to all of them, but I try to when ever I can. I posted my first picture's the other day and recived many wonderful responces. I was flatered. I like to encourage the girl's when ever I can. we all need suport:2c:Daviolin

darla_g

07-07-2008, 12:41 AM

If she's hot, she's hot. If she's not, she's not.

'nuff said.Don't buy that. It comes off very rude.

Jadeanne

07-07-2008, 11:46 PM

When I visit this website, my first stop is usually the picture forum.

I try to reply in a positive manner, but don't really want to just say "me too". I usually only reply if I can make an observation or ask the author a question about something which no other responders have posted yet.

Carly D.

07-08-2008, 10:25 AM

That is just the way it goes.. I know I posted pics of me and shortly after I pushed the post button wished I hadn't.. I got like three responses and like two weeks later the moderator deleted the entry and I breathed a sigh of relief because while I wanted the pictures here for viewing, they really don't compare to a good lot of the others that are here.. that being said though I can understand what you are saying.. and when you post your pictures you should ask for advice on different subjects such as make up or whatever.. that will get you a good number of responses I'm thinking..

Shelly Preston

07-08-2008, 10:37 AM

Everyone should remember its not easy to post pictures for some

We should always focus on the positives and offer constructive advice when appropriate

Melinda G

07-08-2008, 11:08 AM

Some people simply should not post pictures. I know this is a support group, but are we doing anyone a favor by saying, "you look lovely dear", when they clearly look like one of the Budweiser boys? If they post pics, and no one replies, it is because people are being polite, and kind. The alternative is to lie and say you look lovely, or be truthful and say, "you look like a man in a dress". I think any reasonable person can look in a mirror, and tell how they look.

Holly

07-08-2008, 11:28 AM

...The alternative is to lie and say you look lovely, or be truthful and say, "you look like a man in a dress". I think any reasonable person can look in a mirror, and tell how they look.WIth all due respect, Melinda, constructive advice can always be offered. If a poster in your eyes looks like one of the Bud Boys, offer something that would help... "A little padding for your hips could enhance the feminine look you are trying to achieve," or something like that. Being helpful does not equate to being mean. And discouraging people from posting pictures just because in your opinion, "Some people just shouldn't" shows a lack of compassion on your part.

Deborah Jane

07-08-2008, 12:08 PM

Some people simply should not post pictures.

So why do you then? :tongueout

Not so nice when you get it back is it!!!!

Darlene Dippy

07-08-2008, 12:40 PM

Yes the hotties are going to get a lot more responses than those of us who are less attractive. I expect that and frankly it doesn't bother me.

The are many reasons why pictures are posted and counting responses is only one of them. For me its about becoming 100% comfortable with who I am and being open about that. I know I'm getting close to my sell by date, but feel sad that some members feel perhaps I, and others like me, "should not post pictures".

Darlene

Shelly67

07-08-2008, 01:19 PM

I think its a very honest thing we do , post a picture of yourself , no matter how convincing you may / may not appear. I also consider it brave . We are after all very sensative people - arent we ??
Perhaps a little more reflective support could be offered ...
And if a reply is a little delicate , perhaps a private message would suffice ?

RobertaFermina

07-08-2008, 01:43 PM

Perhaps we could have Yet Another Forum !!???

How about doing it like the Public Pool ?

A shallow pool for beginners and the Deep End for the more adventurous and experienced ?

1. A Pictures Forum for Beginners to focus encouragement and tips.

2. The Intermediate/Advanced where you get straight feedback.

In this way, beginners who need support and validation won't have to measure themselves (consciously or unconsciously) against those in the DeepEnd. We can support them just as we support those who announce themselves in the Welcome/FirstTimer's Thread.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

Emily Anderson

07-08-2008, 02:15 PM

Jane G

07-08-2008, 02:33 PM

One of the best things about this forum is the encouragement and support we can all get from it. The pics section is a very popular area. I would like to think that no matter whether I looked like a GG film star or a docker in a skirt any coments, from a pic post, would be positive and I'm prety sure, from the posts I have seen, that they would be.

Sabrina Flowers

07-08-2008, 02:51 PM

I try to look at and post a comment on picture threads where I can, but being one who is not very good with words and spelling, my comments can be similar to some others and simple wording. I also agree with most of the comments here, particuly Marla and MJ comments. Also if I can not think of something encouraging or supportive and nice to say, I will not post a comment. Sometimes a comment can be read a totally different way by someone than how it was written by the poster.
Being presently one of those shy “headless” members I try and make an effort when posting pictures of my outfits and showing them to there best, and I know how important nice comments help to make me feel a part of the forum and when I post a comment in other member’s threads I hope it makes them feel better and encouraged.
If only more members would say a thank you when they get comments, perhaps better comments might be made.

Bonnie D

07-09-2008, 07:56 AM

I wasn't tying to be rude, just stating the fact that the better looking CD's will naturally attract more attention and prompt more replies.

Whether that's fair or not is another matter. I also agree with those who said when you're starting out, you need more encouragement.

I didn't think your were trying to be rude either. I was thinking that it is human nature to be attracted to good looking people; men, women, TGs so it is only natural that "hotties" would get more replies.

An effort does need to be made though to support everyone who posts a pic. DD made a good point about comments not having to be made just about the posters appearance. Wig colour or style, clothing style, makeup, pic background, pose. etc...

Bonnie

Tina Dixon

07-10-2008, 06:56 AM

AND futher more there are prob 8 girls that I can think of on the top of my head that pop in to just put their pics in and thats it.....it has been nicely pointed out to them by a certain mod :love: to post and support the other girls...but most the time it falls on deaf ears.
So now can we go back to having fun in the gallery now!:DDi points it out right here, this is what bugs me the most, but I don't think things will change just had to get of my chest and I will be there for the other girls just starting out:D