Letting my wife not forget about my hobby....

[Karren H]

AKA... Getting her pissed at me... lol

Since she found out almost 3 years ago?? maybe it was 2... anyway I like to bring it up once in a while... Tonight we were in TJ Maxx, just popped in while taking a walk... no real reason.... and as we passed the heels I veered into the isle and said "Didn't our daughter need some new shoes"...... and she replys... I can't remember if she got those or not... So I pick up a nice red pair of heels and said... "I love these" which she replys.. "I am not shopping for shoes with you !!!!" Awwww, I said and she rebuts... "I'm not kidding!" ... turns and walks away.... So a few minutes later in the tops isle I grab a pink top, hold it up and say ... "What do you think of this?" silence......

Ok so she was pissed.... but by the time we left the store it was back to normal... Sure glad she doesn't stay mad long.... and I don't really know if reminding her that I like to crossdress is good in the long run or not.... What do ya think?

Ohhh Wellll..... time will tell I guess!!!




:)

[Bobbie cd]

You crack me up Karren.

You are either fearless, or insane. (Of course, the two are not mutually exclusive!!! :heehee:)

:hugs:
Bobbie

[Jonianne]

Hi Karren,
I had a similar situation the other day. My wife is very supportive and participates with me on occasion, but also needs to have her space from my CD'ing. I try to be sensitive to that, you know how we are sometimes. I had been working on my female voice and had a recording that I wanted her to critique(?). So while we were together alone, I pulled it out and asked her if I could play it for her. Her quick response was yes, so I did. I sensed at the moment it might have not been the appropiate time. Well she has about a 24 hour delay when she feels like her boundry has been breached. So I heard about it the next day. She wasn't hard on me, but she did say she was not ready for that. I apoligized and said the next time, I will tell her that I have something that I want her input concerning the CD and then ask her to let me know when she will be up for it, rather than springing it on her suddlenly. I want more than anything to maintain a healthy relationship with my wife.

[jozee]

sounds like a fence-sitter to me! neither supportive nor anti-cd. perhaps as long as you dont rub her face in it, too much,the situation will not get worse. i was married twice, no 1 was totally against my cding, divorced. no 2 was totally supportive. she succumbed to cancer in jan. good luck.:hugs::love::)

[Claire3]

Guess theres pushing your luck and knowing your boundaries.Red shoes and pink top,very nice!:love:

[TxKimberly]

Karen,

I admire your spirit and the fact that you try and put a smile on this, but i would have to guess that this hurts. My wife's acceptance comes and goes - sometimes she is cool with it, and sometimes she gets angry and sullen. It is not a good feeling when she gets that way. Hang in there!

[Jenny Beth]

Okay so she was pissed, still that's better than sweeping it under the rug and pretending it doesn't exist and giving you the cold shoulder. My guess is sooner or later she's going to crack a smile at your unusual behavior, she'll still be mad but maybe someday she will realize it's all part of who you are and hopefully not a threat to your relationship.

[Staci G]

My wife does the same she usually says in the case of the shoes "we are not shopping for you" so I guess thats our way of keeping the subject open for discussion at any time.. anywho it works for me .. keep up the good work

[Nicole Erin]

Red shoes and a pink top?
Ummm, that would not work well together.

[Karren H]

Red shoes and a pink top?
Ummm, that would not work well together.

Maybe ya think that's why she wouldn't talk to me? lol

[Serena]

Maybe ya think that's why she wouldn't talk to me? lol

lol, I once knew of a teacher at the school I went to that wanted to buy a brown shirt with a pink skirt. While they both sounded good separate, they would not go together. When asked why she would wear them together, she replied, "Because I like pink." lol.

[Tamara Croft]

Karren, in all seriousness, her reaction sounds like you embarrassed her. Only you know your wife, but one day you might just go to far and she won't be amused by it, nor get over it as quick as she does now. People can only take so much, then they break, they build up so much over time and snap... If I were you, I'd stop pushing her when you're out, it isn't really fair on her is it?

[Nicole Erin]

Maybe ya think that's why she wouldn't talk to me? lol I believe so, wearing them together is asking to be arrested by the fashion police.
They could go with their own outfits, but NOT together.

[jamie55]

Hi Karren: I just love your sense of humor, it is so much like mine. That's why I can't work for NASA cause I just love to push buttons.

[sissystephanie]

Reading the posts on this thread makes me realize how blessed I was to have the fully supportive person that I had in my late wife. She would never have let me buy red shoes to wear with a pink top!!:thumbsdn: Instead, she would have picked out the proper things for me to wear. Oh, how I miss that!!


Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath1

[Sally2005]

When you are out you are out... just be prepared for the return favour when you happen to be shopping with the kids who don't know and she slips in a joke your way... I love pushing buttons especially when the other person's hangup is silly to me. If my wife held up a dress in front of me while shopping I might turn red though.

[Mercedes]

Karen, I am sure she go over it quickly.

I should try that with my wife, if she is in the right frame of mind she might laugh it off or not. Only one way to find out.

Mercedes XOXOXO

[pinkeverything]

Sounds like it was a success. That's the way I do it too.

[RobynP]

Awwww, I said and she rebuts... "I'm not kidding!" ... turns and walks away.... So a few minutes later in the tops isle I grab a pink top, hold it up and say ... "What do you think of this?" silence......



One of the big differences between most men and most women is that when a woman says "No" she means "NO!" When a man hears a woman say "No", they hear "Maybe..." or "Maybe yes..."

I used to do "similar" stuff with my wife (now my ex) in order to "remind" her that I was a crossdresser. However, when we were going through our divorce, she accused me of emotionally abusing her. I never thought of myself as an abuser but I rarely paid attention when she said "No..."

You may wish to have a follow-up conversation with her just to make sure that things are back to "normal"...

Peace,

Robyn

[DanaR]

Karren, in all seriousness, her reaction sounds like you embarrassed her. Only you know your wife, but one day you might just go to far and she won't be amused by it, nor get over it as quick as she does now. People can only take so much, then they break, they build up so much over time and snap... If I were you, I'd stop pushing her when you're out, it isn't really fair on her is it?

I agree Tamara!

[Melora]

Karren..
I think that it was Cute!!
You wife loves you and is making a game, I Think....
Just keep loving her and it will be Alright...
Melora.Katie..

[Rachaelb64]

I hope your ife doesn't work for the post office! Or she might take being p*ssed by you out on those poor folks in the street :)

[Sandra]

Karren, in all seriousness, her reaction sounds like you embarrassed her. Only you know your wife, but one day you might just go to far and she won't be amused by it, nor get over it as quick as she does now. People can only take so much, then they break, they build up so much over time and snap... If I were you, I'd stop pushing her when you're out, it isn't really fair on her is it?

:iagree:

I guess that you're not bothered that your wife may never come round to accept your dressing and doing things like this I'm not surprised

What you did was not nice you know how she feels about your dressing but you had to do this.

[Wendy me]

joking and fooling around should be something you do in a marriage .... but doing something just to upset her is wrong .......now if for a joke to push your buttons she thought why not out you to the whole family .....you know what i am saying ????? shame on all you fools who think it was funny that "HE" put "HIS" wife through this in the store...........

[donnalee]

When you are out you are out... just be prepared for the return favour when you happen to be shopping with the kids who don't know and she slips in a joke your way... I love pushing buttons especially when the other person's hangup is silly to me. If my wife held up a dress in front of me while shopping I might turn red though.
The thing is, it's NOT YOUR DECISION! If you push someone like that, don't be surprised or hurt if they don't react in the way you expect or would like. They may be having a hard time keeping it together as things stand rather than having more pressure applied. This is supposed to be your life partner. What you consider a little gentle kidding may not be perceived or received as such by the one it's directed at.

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Karr. My advice? Just let it go Hon.:)

[Bev06 GG]

Maybe ya think that's why she wouldn't talk to me? lol

No Karen I dont,
I actually wear red and pink together and it looks great. She was obviously just having a bad day which is something we all have from time to time accepting or not.
Women are funny individuals and our mood swings can be instant and then gone in a flash, hormones I guess and sometimes just an annoying hubby who gets on our nerves from time to time. We love em dearly but heck sometimes it can be very demanding when out shopping because theyre always looking at flipping shoes and handbags.
Take care
Bev

[matrioshka]

joking and fooling around should be something you do in a marriage .... but doing something just to upset her is wrong .......now if for a joke to push your buttons she thought why not out you to the whole family .....you know what i am saying ????? shame on all you fools who think it was funny that "HE" put "HIS" wife through this in the store...........

I have to agree. Karren, you're really rolling the dice here. Are you sure the pink fog isn't taking over?

M/Katrina

[Angie G]

Your to much Karren love ya hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Tina Dixon]

Karen your probaly doing the right thing by making sure she remembers what you do, when my wife found out a couple years ago it has become a taboo subject it seems with no mention of it at all, and you should have bought the top:heehee:

[Amy Hepker]

Been there done that. They get really pissed if you do it everytime you go with them. It drives me nuts to go shopping with them and they go into the ladies section. I start looking through everything and they get pissed and say something like. That's the last time I go shopping with you, I am not buying you anything.

[Karren H]

Karren, in all seriousness, her reaction sounds like you embarrassed her. Only you know your wife, but one day you might just go to far and she won't be amused by it, nor get over it as quick as she does now. People can only take so much, then they break, they build up so much over time and snap... If I were you, I'd stop pushing her when you're out, it isn't really fair on her is it?

Didn't think of that.... but she does the same thing in private when I hint at the subjset.... I do basically keep it out of her face.... but like to drop those hints once in a while just to remind her... And I don't mean to upset her.. She get upset with me enough.. "you never remember what I said.... Your not listening to me" I really need to get a hearing aid... too much hearing loss... But after 33 years of marriage.. Were doing as good as we can given the circumstances... I think... So I will remember to not do them in public....

[SarahLynn]

Karren i think she wanted to buy those shoes and here you were jumping the gun on her. Just think of someone offside on the ice. Or maybe you've high sticked her? Red shoes and pink tops do not go together unless you are wearing a white skirt and red belt. Very wide shinney plastic or patent leather. And the pink must be closer to red than white.

SarahLynn

[Imma]

Karren & Group::love:

My wife has tolerated my crossdressing for almost fifty years.:thumbsup:

This time span has allowed us to work together to increase her tolerance of some items that Imma likes to do.:battingeyelashes:

Imma tries to combine crossdressing with a benefit to my wife. Imma prepares all the meals, takes care of the kitchen, and does all of the grocery shopping. Being semi-retired normally allows Imma to manage the work and home life shedules with some planning. Some examples of what Imma does while fully dressed are clean the house, prepare the meals, make the bed, prepare her medications, schedule her appointments, and do little things that make her happy.With no kids in the house for years, this can be done almost anytime. However, it is usually a weekend activity. This allows Imma to be firmly girdled up, gartered up, and dressed up for 12 to18 hours. What a thrill!:2c:

Her tolerance has improved to the point that on some of our shopping in the ladies department, she will ask me if I want anything.:D

Imma will admit to going shopping with my wife dressed in multiple foundation garments, pantyhose, stockings, long line bra, and panties. All this is under my drab clothes.:eek:

LOL:heehee:

Imma:brolleyes:

[TGMarla]

.... and I don't really know if reminding her that I like to crossdress is good in the long run or not.... How long have you been married? Really, gentle reminders couldn't hurt. If she hasn't chucked you aside over it yet, she probably won't now.

[serinalynn]

Karren: As good as you look as a woman, I am surprised that your wife isn't insanely jealous of you for looking better than she does as a woman. Maybe when your wife goes shopping,let her go by her self or if you do go with her wander off by your self and tell her you will meet her some where in the store in an hour, or better yet call her when your done and ask if she needs more time. Seems to me she won't be asking you for advice on how to look better as a woman.

Remember, There is only room for one woman in the kitchen, if you are in the kitchen when she comes in, get the hell out til she leaves. THats the way it works at MY house if im in the kitchen, I step aside til my wife leaves, then I continue what I was doing.:thumbsup: Makes for a happy marriage!:)

[vivianann]

SerinaLyn, I disagree, we can never look better than GGs no matter how prettied up we get, GGs have built in feminine features that we can only wish we had.
Keren please be careful with the wife, I know you want her to accept your cding, pushing her will not acomplish anything. I am sorry you and your wife struggle with the cding situation. Hopefully one day things might change, but then again they might not.

[Laney GG]

Karren, if my memory serves me correctly, it seems to me that your wife was recently reminded of your CD'ing when a hotel sent back some earrings you had forgotten. It sounds as if you are either trying to "push her buttons" or pressing too hard for acceptance. Perhaps for her, if it's out of sight/out of mind, she feels she can get along better. I know I go through moments like that--not saying it's fair, but at least I feel much less stressed than when it is a constant presence. I am still struggling to accept my husband's CD'ing--I understand it is part of who he is, I just don't want to be exposed to it. He dresses when I'm not around. I have no desire to see him en femme. I'm not sure if I will ever get beyond this point, but it is something that is working out for us at this time. Perhaps you just need to accept the fact that your wife loves you and understands you have this need, but just doesn't wish to participate or have it shoved down her throat. Trust me--she WON'T forget--it's always there..... :2c:

[darla_g]

Karren,
your wife reacts exactly like mine would. She accepts it, but always acts embarrassed if i bring something up while we are out. so she will always speak in hushed tones.


Karren, if my memory serves me correctly, it seems to me that your wife was recently reminded of your CD'ing when a hotel sent back some earrings you had forgotten. It sounds as if you are either trying to "push her buttons" or pressing too hard for acceptance. Perhaps for her, if it's out of sight/out of mind, she feels she can get along better. I know I go through moments like that--not saying it's fair, but at least I feel much less stressed than when it is a constant presence. I am still struggling to accept my husband's CD'ing--I understand it is part of who he is, I just don't want to be exposed to it. He dresses when I'm not around. I have no desire to see him en femme. I'm not sure if I will ever get beyond this point, but it is something that is working out for us at this time. Perhaps you just need to accept the fact that your wife loves you and understands you have this need, but just doesn't wish to participate or have it shoved down her throat. Trust me--she WON'T forget--it's always there..... :2c:that is an interesting perspective, thank you for sharing it

[SatinDoll00]

lol, I once knew of a teacher at the school I went to that wanted to buy a brown shirt with a pink skirt. While they both sounded good separate, they would not go together. When asked why she would wear them together, she replied, "Because I like pink." lol.

Karen, you know her better than anyone. If she is as Tamara describes, then I would let up...seriously.

Tamara could be on to something here. (BTW...isn't Tamara the cutest thing you have seen recently?) :daydreaming:

Seriously...Tamara is likely correct here. And she is cute! :)

[Karren H]

How long have you been married? Really, gentle reminders couldn't hurt. If she hasn't chucked you aside over it yet, she probably won't now.


33 years and counting......

[KarenXDR]

Well, you certainly do.

Keep rubbing your wife's nose in it and both you and your clothes will be in the street.

You obviously don't give a damned about her, so why don't you just leave and save her the trouble.

By the way....you're absolutely beautiful.

Lipstick kisses

Karen

[SatinDoll00]

Ouch

Not so sure I can agree with ALL of that.

KH is beautiful btw.

Karen has to be a person as well, and if her (his) wife has "accepted" his (her) CDing...then little things like this should not be a problem, unless the CDing itself is the problem...which is a bigger issue.

I cannot speak for her...and would never presume to do so. But I can say this, we all have to be true to ourselves, whether that involves a garter belt, or a stiff belt of Scotch, or a long hard look in the mirror...we have to be who we are.

Kudos to Karen, and to her (his) wife. The struggle for self continues...and never ends.

Cheers.

Morgan

[Sarah...]

It seems to me that we are talking about the usual stuff that goes on in any long-term relationship or marriage. We are not always on the same wavelength as our partner. Whether it's CDing or anything else sometimes others just aren't interested. Pushing your own interests into the conversation at what you thought was an opportune moment doesn't always work - I know - I've done it often enough lol! But it doesn't necessarily hint at difficulties or non-acceptance, especially in an otherwise accepting relationship.

When I've done that, and it's not always CDing, sometimes it's been about time consuming sports hobbies, cycling, windsurfing etc, if I have pitched in at the wrong time I've learnt my lesson and backed off. It's meant our relationship has grown stronger as a result.

So I would say don't worry!!

Sarah...