am I a semi-TS? aren't therapists against HRT for bigendered ppl? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Raquel June

07-06-2008, 08:20 PM

I'm not quite sure how I fit into the TS community, so I'm just going to ramble on a bit. I'm also a little upset/emotional, so I hope I make sense.

I'm sorry if this belongs in the "body issues" forum, but I think it's a little more general than that...

When I was 3 I liked to sneak into my mom's stuff. It kinda worried my dad. From around 6 to 12 I would pray every night that I woke up as a girl. Around 10 or 11 I remembered raiding my grandma's lingerie collection when I went there for the summer (kinda creepy, but hey, she'd packed it away and wasn't using it). I was parading around in her bustier stuffed with toilet paper, and she sort of surprised me when she got home from work... I managed to stuff the stuff back into a drawer, but I was basically caught, and the's thought I was pretty flaky ever since (but it's sweet that she always tells me she's praying for me). It kinda became more of a sexual thing that I was ashamed of around puberty. I would try on my girlfriend's stuff when she wasn't around now and then, but that was pretty much it.

I was with the same GG from age 18 till 30, and when that relationship ended, I started going out en femme to clubs most weekends. I'm good friends with some of the local drag queens and a number of the regulars at local gay clubs. Most of the crossdressers I meet at clubs embarrass me, because they're either very anti-social (and very homophobic), or else they're the total opposite and they're just trying to hook up. I just like getting out en femme and feeling like I can breathe.

Even though I go out a lot and a few of my friends know everything, I'm in the closet for the most part. I work at a very conservative job. I'm a software engineer for a small company, and the owner goes to the same church as my parents.

I used to totally resent being male. I used to cry myself to sleep. But that was a long time ago. I'm OK with being male, and if I could choose to wake up 100% female tomorrow, I'm not sure if I would. OK, nevermind that. Of course I would. But that's never going to happen, and I'm comfortable being a guy. I'm 6'0", 195 lbs, and I can bench about 350 lbs. I'm not going to pass for female anytime soon. I guess that's why I pretend not to take crossdressing too seriously.

But the truth is I'd certainly like to be more feminine. I know some girls who are on hormones, and they're some of my favorite people to hang out with. I'd love to have softer skin and nicer hair. I always had a thing for longer hair ... but I eventually cut off my ponytail and went for a more "grown up" look.

I was in therapy for awhile, but I don't really have any major personal problems. I was pretty depressed (almost suicidal) after ending that 12-year relationship, but that seems understandable, and I'm fine now.

I don't think being on hormones is a magical fix for anything. The people I know who were unhappy and uncomfortable in their own skin before they got on hormones still are, and the people I know who were wonderful human beings before they got on hormones still are. It's not a night-and-day difference.

Anyway, I just think I'd like to be on hormones, and I've thought that for a long time. I don't really want to self-medicate, but I think most therapists would find it laughable that I want HRT when I don't really think it's feasible to go 24/7 anytime soon, and I don't really even want to. But I'll never pass as female... I just want to feel a little more female. I'm pretty well entrenched in this male life of mine. And of course my parents would have a coronary if I started asking to be called Racquel on the holidays.

Am I making any sense? I have to admit that I would be really happy to do something about my receding hairline (although it's not really bad) and manly bulging veins, and I would love to have hips. I have fun hanging out with TS girls, but I do feel like a bit of a joke wearing a wig all the time. And in general I feel like some kind of testosterone blocker would put me in a much more zen place. Like I said, I don't think hormones would make me magically female, and obviously I don't think much of anything could be guaranteed (except maybe me getting a slightly fatter butt). I just think it'd be a good thing to do. But I don't think a therapist would support it.

A lot of CDs seem very bigendered to me. When I see CDs getting their ears pierced and getting laser hair removal strictly for the purpose of being more feminine ... well, to me, that's crossing over into TS behavior. Is HRT so much of a step from that point?

It just seems like people think it's no big deal for a guy to get his face lasered, but if I get on HRT without being 100% committed to being 24/7 en femme, people will think I'm nuts. Does anybody else feel like I do? Am I just in denial? Is this just a step towards me admitting I'm fully TS?

Thanks for reading this :)

jennCD

07-06-2008, 09:40 PM

I think I'm kinda in the same boat as you in many respects. Oh the idea of simply waking up to the realization that I am suddenly a woman would turn my into a lump of emotional Jell-O for a few hours and I'm sure I'd seriously have to consider calling out sick for work, but the reality for me is that I'm quite bi-gendered in my head. I love just being me... and being me is simply being this guy that I've been all my life... but it also includes being this woman that I've been in my head all my life too.

Heck, as I told my wife when I first told her about this side of me, "Oh would I love to have my own breasts!" I mean really, a lovely bosom is the focal point of my love of women,.. well, that and gorgeous eyes and great hair. Now, I can swing the great hair aspect but it's gonna take me 2 years and considering I really suck at doing my eyes, I have a ways to go to get them looking good, but the bosom? Well, that's not something I can manage myself at all when I remove the idea of using forms unless I go the HRT route.

And sheesh is that gonna cause havoc on almost every aspect of my guy-life! Even if I somehow found a therapist to insanely prescribe me something and notwithstanding my wife's newfound emotional hell at the thought of her husband's nice rack and new, constantly limp um,... johnson, uh, I'd have a heck of a time figuring out what to do with breasts when I'm not working at being Jenn.

Yeah, everyone would think I'm nuts if I considered doing anything like this,... especially me! But I will admit, this area of gender overkill is something that has often crossed my mind but I still don't think I'm any worse off because of it.

:)
jenn

Raquel June

07-06-2008, 10:04 PM

I think you have to actually be pretty lucky to grow sizable breasts, so I wouldn't really count on that -- I might have to tone down the HRT if it did happen. And if, uhh, things stop working, your doctor can change your meds around a little. I know a pre-op TS who has a natrual DD and things still work just fine, but that's obviously the exception.

I'm a big fan of breasts, but I guess I don't really feel like I need huge ones myself. I'd really like to have hips that are more in line with my shoulders, though.

What I'd really like would be to be Johnny Depp during the day then Kim Kardashian at night, but that's not exactly realistic :)

AmberTG

07-07-2008, 01:28 AM

Raquel June

07-07-2008, 01:58 AM

There is something you can do about your hairline that won't shock anybody, guys do it all the time. Get a prescription for Propecia. It works for most men and it's the standard hair loss drug. Women are not supposed to use it because of a birth defect risk for a male fetus, among other things.

Yeah, Propecia (1mg) is just a lower dose of Proscar (5mg), which is a testosterone blocker used for people with prostate problems. Pregnant women aren't supposed to be near it because the "specific kind of birth defect" is undeveloped genitalia from blocking DHT in a male fetus. Since it only blocks testosterone conversion to DHT, though, your body will sometimes actually raise testosterone production to compensate. I haven't seen it recommended for HRT except in combination with a general anti-antrogen like Spiro.

KeriB

07-10-2008, 07:00 PM

Well, the only thing I would say is that staying clean-shaven all over is much different, and temporary, than being on HRT. Although I myself think of it often, and acutally think it would do wonders for my emotions, I not 110% in order to start something that will be irreversible shortly. Although I echo what my GF Jenn says, and that is it would be wonderful to just wake up with my own breasts, haair, etc... Yeah, living in laa-laa land I know lol....

SatinDoll00

07-10-2008, 08:31 PM

Hi Racquel!

Reading your first post reminds me so much of me.

I was crossdressing as far back as age 4 (at least that was the first time I can remember). Throughout my early teens, I was sneaking into mom's lingerie drawers, and even some of her everyday clothes. All during that time, it was my deepest dream to be a female. I remember seeing some sitcom in the 70s where they had some gorgeous GG playing a man that had a sex change. For me, at age 8 or so, I thought that was the most awesome thing ever! I was determined that as soon as I got out of school, that I was going to move away and get a sex change. I even had an experimental sexual relationship with a male friend, with me dressed for a while. Well, as I moved into puberty, I tried giving up on the idea. I thought it was all something I did because I didn't have a girl to be with, physically. I soon started dating someone, and that relationship lasted for 15 years. Only for an extremely brief period (a couple of weeks) did I even consider wanting to actually be a female during that time. I did sneak into my gf's things on occasion. Well, we were married, and stayed together for 7 years. Eventually, the marriage ended, and I was alone for a while. During that time, the urge to crossdress really peaked. I started buying my own clothes, wigs, shoes, makeup, etc. I shaved off all of my body hair...I even started considering HRT. I studied on the internet, and was all ready to take the next step. Then I met my current wife. I have to admit. I should have told her what I am up front, because now, we have been married for 3 years, and I cannot tell her. But, like yourself, if I could wake up tomorrow and be a female, I would do it...without a doubt...and I would have to face the consequences, but whatever they were, I think they would be worth it.

I live in fear that she will discover my secret, and I know she would not accept me as a CDer. Not too long back, a friend of hers had her husband come out to her as a crossdresser, and bisexual. The couple stayed together, for a little while, but during that time, the things my wife said confirmed once and for all that there was no way that she would ever, ever, accept me as a CD/TV/TS. So I am in the closet.

The problem is though, I have started traveling some for work, and I honestly have started to dread coming home...because I cannot be Morgan. I know it is selfish, I know it is wrong, but at this point in time, the desire to be female has started to make me question if I can remain a male for the rest of my life. I have looked into therapy, but like yourself, I am pretty sure that a therapist would tell me that I should give up this idea of being a woman. I am 38 yrs old now, and I am overweight (which I am working on)...but I have the wrong build for being a woman. I get really depressed just thinking about it. I sometimes fantasize about moving out, getting my own place, and starting HRT and lazer or electrolisys. Then I remember that it would take me literally years to get to where I would even be semi-passable, and even then I would be too masculine.

sigh

Well...I don't know what to do. I know that the answer is not in the bottom of a bottle (a recent discovery!)...and that something has to change. Either me, or my living situation, or her...or the world. Who the hell knows.

Well, sorry for the long rant. And sorry to be such a whiner. I just needed to vent a little.

Morgan

PS - this is somewhat off topic, but I have been curious, if a TS is on HRT, and loses erectile function...would Viagra or something like it work, in case the need arose (no pun intended)?

Kaitlyn Michele

07-10-2008, 11:33 PM

racquel..

this is serious stuff and i like to write out my thoughts too...the am i ts question is only answerable by you!! lol...sorry if its a cliche...

i have considered this for years and i have a job and kids etc that i may lose!!! and yet i think about it all day everyday and unless i'm moving forward and doing something about becoming more and more feminine, then i get very distressed and i know it sounds to some people like i'm just a big baby, the distress is so strong that it actually feels like its sucking the life out of me...dramatic? yes..but true...i'm sure there are girls out there who can attest to this feeling..

i have always thought of myself as a crossdresser...so its been quite confusing but recently i consciously accepted that i was ts and i started therapy..

are you feeling trapped? ...i've mentioned this before, but pls read some the writings of Anne Vitale...she is a doctor and ts woman..reading some of her stuff helped me understand what i was going through..and by the way..i know 2 ts women who put off feminizing themselves for $$ and kids,...neither is bitter but both wonder what if they transitioned younger..both are over 50 and seem pretty happy about finally moving ahead and they have enuf $$ (i hope!!) so its really up to you!

and one other thing...i have to admit i have all the same feelings as you...i have kids..i can't pass..i'm over 45 yrs old!!..i will be laughed at..etc.etc...but i'm still plowing ahead because i honestly don't have any other choice.

Raquel June

07-11-2008, 12:38 AM

Well, the only thing I would say is that staying clean-shaven all over is much different, and temporary, than being on HRT.

I never mentioned shaving. A lot of CDs get laser hair removal, though, and that's more permanent than most effects of HRT. I'm not trying to press the issue; I was just pointing out the permanence of killing all the hair on your face to look feminine. It's interesting how that really doesn't raise an eyebrow around here, but if I went around saying, "I'm on estrogen cuz I hate fake butt padding!" I'd definitely be considered a lunatic.

Morgan & Michele

I know what it's like to feel trapped in a relationship. I always wanted to move out to the west coast, then I was in a relationship with a woman for 12 years who would never even think of living in a different city than her mother. The reason I haven't been in a relationship in a year is because I hate the baggage. I hate worrying about being myself around "normal" girls, and the one GG that picked me up when I was en femme turned out to be a stalker tranny chaser who wouldn't leave me alone, called me constantly at work, showed up uninvited, emailed me psycho diatribes several times a day, etc.

But I think some people kid themselves as to the reason they're not transitioning. The bottom line is that we all want to be accepted as women, but the chances of that are very slim. I know I'm seen as a fairly attractive guy, and I don't think I would ever pass as woman, let alone an attractive one. So do I want to be accepted as a male, or do I want to express my "true self" and be seen as a freak? It's a tough decision if you force binary gender roles on people. I get the impression people expect me to be 100% committed to being 100% female 24/7, otherwise I'm a totally non-TG crossdresser. That's totally unreasonable.

Again, I know what it's like to feel trapped, and I absolutely hate it, but I think it's a cop-out to say that feeling trapped is the source of all your problems. You're fooling yourself if you say, "If it just weren't for the wife & kids, I'd be transitioning and I'd be totally happy." I'm free to do whatever I want. I make $12/hr. I have a little apartment that's $439/mo. I'm going back to school in the fall, so I'll be pretty busy. Most people would say my position in life is pretty pathetic for a 32-year-old, but I'm just happy to be totally self-sufficient, have my own place, not be worried about kids, and be able to float around until I decide exactly what I want. It's actually a pretty ideal situation for a transgendered person, and I have some really good friends who know about my issues, but I'm still not going to go crazy complaining that there's no way I can be happy if I can't express my femininity 24/7.

I have a very strong desire to be female, but I don't think I would ever be seen as female, so I'm not sure if it's even an issue. And I don't hate my male self. I don't get up and look in the mirror and curse God. A lot of TGs seem to think if you're not a basketcase you're not TG. Seems like it might just be better to see how far I can go and still be accepted as a human being at all.

I was watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SbvdyO6bHs

Her voice is beautiful. Her face is beautiful. Her clothes are great. It was the first video of hers I'd seen, and I wondered if she was even TS -- then she mentioned getting pointed out in a mall as though it was obvious. I mean, wow. If people give her a hard time, I'm screwed.

And yeah, people always say being passable isn't that important. All that silliness about it being what's on the inside. Well, if it was just what was on the inside, nobody would transition. I must admit that my issues are fairly narcissistic.

PS - this is somewhat off topic, but I have been curious, if a TS is on HRT, and loses erectile function...would Viagra or something like it work, in case the need arose (no pun intended)?

From what I've heard/read:

That's something that just depends on you. Different people are affected differently. People on higher doses of anti-androgens along with estrogen definitely tend to lose erectile function. It's not something that happens overnight, though. It just gets less and less spontaneous and harder to sustain. If you cut back on the hormones (or at least the anti-androgens), function should go back to what it was.

Viagra can get you an erection pretty much no matter what, but if you totally atrophy your genitalia/prostate, you'll probably be having an orgasm without ejaculation.

SatinDoll00

07-11-2008, 03:29 PM

You're fooling yourself if you say, "If it just weren't for the wife & kids, I'd be transitioning and I'd be totally happy."

I think if I had kids, I would never transition...for certain. Maybe that is part of the reason I have never wanted kids? I have never really known why I didn't want kids...I have always thought it was because I am selfish...which is probably true. But, which is worse...me being selfish, or me bringing unwanted children into the world?

My wife doesn't want children either, so that is a good thing.

Actually, that matter was the heart of my first marriage ending (well, that...and her cheating on me).

I will be completely honest, if I woke up tomorrow and it was 5 years ago, and I had not met my wife yet, and she would not be hurt, I would take a different path...one that would lead me to transitioning. Wishing for time machines and such is as useless as wishing to be a woman magically, or being able to transform between genders at will. Neither will ever happen, so we are left to deal with the hands we have been dealt, and have made for ourselves.

I know that transitioning is no bed of roses. It sounds like a long, difficult, and expensive journey from which, ultimately there is no return. It is not something one should undertake lightly.

And yeah, people always say being passable isn't that important. All that silliness about it being what's on the inside. Well, if it was just what was on the inside, nobody would transition. I must admit that my issues are fairly narcissistic.I agree, 100%. My issues are narcissistic as well, but at the same time, I am realistic about it. I know that without HRT and some reconstructive surgery and laser/electrolysis that I would never be passable, and even with those things, there is only so much they can do!

Miss Tessa

07-11-2008, 07:06 PM

Kaitlyn Michele

07-12-2008, 01:03 AM

racquel...

simply notice how different we all are :daydreaming:

that's my point...i dont hate my male self..i havent had any successful relationships with women..not interested in men...

i didnt feel any need to transition at all until very recently but its been overwhelming since...i'm not sure who is fooling themselves or who is making you feel so freaky about not wanting to be 24/7...i have been out and about as michele for almost 2 years...i have met many cd's ts's and what i would call a tg ,.,,its just a label but i know 2 tgirls who have had facial feminization surgery, take hormones, and live as a guy most of the time...i've heard many successful transwomen call it a journey and its your own personal journey..so i say if you want to take hormones to further feminize yourself than by all means balance the pros and cons and do it if the pros win!!

i just think we all cope with our tg nature differently depending on our values, upbringing, looks, sexuality, etc...and your personal way sounds totally fine and i hope you find peace and happiness on your journey!!

take care
michele

Empress Lainie

07-12-2008, 02:11 AM

Point One from me: It is never too late to transition if that is what you truly need to do. I was 72.
Point Two: Don't transition unless you are prepared and willing to face the possibility of losing everything, wife, kids, job, friends. you might get lucky but then maybe not.
Point Three: Many of us tg's reach a point where we can't stand living male anymore and have to be who we really are, I am one of them.
Point Four: Breasts - I took saw palmetto for 18yrs to keep my prostate from benign enlargement. To my surprise 2 years ago I realized that I was growing breasts. Since my epiphany I have done everything I can in the way of herbal phytoestrogen to increase their growth. If you want breasts go to flat-to-fem or flat2fem.com. Lucille Sorella has excellent help and progr4ams. I dont take HRT and I pass so well it floors me. I hear beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, pretty all the time from men and women both, a lot of time strangers to me.
Point Five: If you take HRT it will affect your sex drive, all of the girls I know on it have no sex drive they say. It will also shrink your parts, and prevent erections. So think carefully about the effects before doing it.

I read CROSSING by Deirdre McCloskey. She was a crossdresser for years before her epiphany. Many tgirls don't realize for years while they are crossdressing that they really are female persons. I was the prize dummie, 72 years. But I wasn't crossdressing except that I just became more and more feminine unconsciously ( believe me it was).

Katrina

07-12-2008, 07:07 AM

I think if I had kids, I would never transition...for certain. Maybe that is part of the reason I have never wanted kids?...
I will be completely honest, if I woke up tomorrow and it was 5 years ago, and I had not met my wife yet, and she would not be hurt, I would take a different path...one that would lead me to transitioning.

Wow! I totally feel the same way. I like my life now, but if I had it to do all over again, after I graduated high school I would have started transitioning.

Kaitlyn Michele

07-12-2008, 08:48 AM

you go empress!!!!

i have heard it called "the bell" and forme it rang about 2 yrs ago and it just keeps ringing..."real lfe" has kept me from pursuing what i beleive is simply a biological need for me..
it's what/who i am...so all these yrs of supressing it just kinda explode in your face and that's it...

people say to hang in there, but that's what i did for 45 yrs.
people say it will go away..i've yet to meet a person that claimed the feeling went away in fact most girls have said it gets stronger

Raquel June

07-12-2008, 09:08 AM

There are alot of b-gendered people on hormones. They often go by the word, she-male. They don't take spiro or other anti androgynes, only female hormones.The idea is to keep that male drive while aquiring female secondary sex charactaristics.

I wouldn't mind having a little less drive (that gets me into trouble sometimes). I just don't want things to stop working.

racquel...

simply notice how different we all are :daydreaming:

that's my point...i dont hate my male self..i havent had any successful relationships with women..not interested in men...

Well, it doesn't sound like you and I are very different at all. Every girl I've been in a relationship with has been crazier than I am (and that's a tall order) and has made me feel trapped. And when I went out with a GG t-chaser for awhile, that when extremely poorly. I'm not grossed out by the idea of doing things with a guy, but they don't really do it for me, although I've kissed a couple while en femme. At this point I'm having trouble even conceptualizing what kind of relationship I would like.

melissaK

07-12-2008, 08:29 PM

A good related thought provoking essay on this topic:
http://www.3dcom.com/tgfs/docs97/tmed9710.html
hugs,
lissa

Raquel June

07-13-2008, 11:18 PM

A good related thought provoking essay on this topic:
http://www.3dcom.com/tgfs/docs97/tmed9710.html
hugs,
lissa

Whoa.

I didn't think I was nuts (well, no more than anybody else), but I'm surprised to hear someone say how common a feeling that is. I think there are some condescending transitioning girls on other forums who need to read that...

Ashley in Virginia

07-15-2008, 06:19 AM

Wow! I totally feel the same way. I like my life now, but if I had it to do all over again, after I graduated high school I would have started transitioning.

If if was a spliff we'd all be high.

I agree though. Now that I am older with kids, I could never do it. I should have pushed the issue back in high school when I was found out and had to see a doctor about it.

Kimberley

07-15-2008, 02:45 PM

No one can semi anything with their own feelings. You know your gender identification and may not realize it. In my opinion, therapy is the key to your getting answers.

Raquel June

07-15-2008, 04:08 PM

No one can semi anything with their own feelings. You know your gender identification and may not realize it. In my opinion, therapy is the key to your getting answers.

I know my gender identity but I may not know it? Interesting.

I've had therapy before, but at this point I'm not depressed, I'm not insane, and I'm not having relationship/family/social/work/school problems. What do you think therapy would help?

Kimberley

07-15-2008, 05:05 PM

You seem to be waffling between a self identity as a CD and as TS. That is why I say therapy is probably your best bet. One can be "alright" and still need the help. In many cases the therapist will insist that the client be mentally healthy before addressing gender; at least any responsible and experienced therapist, particularly if s/he is a member of WPATH.

As to transition, and if you are talking hormones, you are talking TS transition, the HBSOC are very clear on the prerequisites before recommending HRT. Yes you can self medicate but that is hormone roulette and very dangerous. It may not be rocket science but it does require medical oversight so you dont do yourself any harm as in kidney or liver damage, possible thrombosis among other potentially dangerous or life threatening conditions.

I still stand on my comment for the above reasons. It doesnt quite seem that you know exactly where you stand.

As one who is TS I know 100% what my gender identity is. Of that there is no question. I think any diagnosed TS would tell you the same thing.

I wish you luck on your journey of discovery.

:hugs:
Kimberley

Raquel June

07-15-2008, 06:31 PM

As to transition, and if you are talking hormones, you are talking TS transition, the HBSOC are very clear on the prerequisites before recommending HRT.

...

I still stand on my comment for the above reasons. It doesnt quite seem that you know exactly where you stand.

As one who is TS I know 100% what my gender identity is. Of that there is no question. I think any diagnosed TS would tell you the same thing.

I think most diagnosed and/or outspoken TS would say, "I'm 100% woman on the inside and I want to be 100% woman on the outside."

That bothers me, because if someone falls somewhere in the middle, or perhaps if they simply have a life that they're fairly happy with and don't want to turn into upheval, they are dismissed by the community as totally non-TS or at least as someone who doesn't know what he/she wants and is marginally TG at best and in need of therapy.

A lot of TS girls are saying, "I know 100% how I fit into binary gender roles." Well, a lot of us simply don't fit into binary gender roles. Now I'm supposed to be picked on by the boys, the girls, and the TS?

Most TS girls aren't going to pass as GGs. Many of them want so hard to believe "I used to be a boy, now I'm a girl," but you're still the same person you always were. Most of them used to be seen as a troubled boy and now they're seen as a troubled TS, not as a GG. You don't have to look very far on YouTube to see some M2F girls who are a total disaster. While I applaud their courage, I also think many of them would have happier lives if they didn't waste so much thought and effort on conforming to the standards of what TS people are supposed to do and how they're supposed to act.

There's so much talk about how sexual preference is not just gay/straight, and there's so much talk about how people shouldn't be forced into strictly male/female roles, but if someone puts a milligram of estrogen in their body, they're either committed 100% to transitioning, SRS, and abandoning every shred of masculinity, or else they're seen as lunatics.

The article melissaK linked does a pretty good job of arguing that I'm not crazy.

Harry Benjamin obviously made huge contributions to the TS community, but at this point I'm honestly shocked that the 1979 standards are still seen as the law of all that is TS. In no other context would anybody stand for the rules imposed by those guidelines.

I really don't get it. The Harry Benjamin ultimatum looks like a pretty gross violation of doctor-patient confidentiality. I'm surprised doctors/therapists don't get sued the the second they show it to a patient. Maybe next year they'll celebrate the 30 year anniversary of doctors telling you that you have to totally freak out your friends and coworkers if you want any treatment.

Let's pretend you're dealing with a menopausal GG who likes to wear baggy jeans and doesn't wear makeup. How absurd would it be if her doctor treated her like a TS? "I'm sorry, sir. I know you'd like to try estrogen replacement, and there's plenty evidence to suggest it would help with the symptoms you're having, but you're going to need to act a little more girly full-time for several months. If you're going to continue wearing jeans and no makeup, I can not in good conscience prescribe estrogen and will only suggest that more therapy is in order."

I'm glad many doctors are starting to ignore those standards. It's just unbelievable that you're expected to change your name, be 100% femme at work, tell all your friends to call you by a different name than they have ever called you, etc. It sounds more like it's just a test forcing people to destroy any form of stability in their lives to see how "serious" they are about being TG.

I'm not saying I look down on M2F transsexuals who are totally uncomfortable with their male side (or claim not to have one at all), but changing your name, dressing more femme more often, HRT, electrolysis, SRS ... all of these are just individual things which don't change who you are inside anyway.

I'm just fascinated by the things people choose to fixate on, especially by how many people there are who define TS very strictly as someone who wants surgery on their genitals and then will go crazy if you use the term any other way. I don't think mild HRT is a big deal, but I certainly think going under the knife is, and I certainly don't take my panties off for enough people to let them judge me by what's underneath.

Kimberley

07-15-2008, 09:10 PM

Hi Raquel,
I thihk you need to revisit the HBSOC (http://wpath.org/Documents2/socv6.pdf). This is a link to the latest revision (2001) It does recognize that there is a TG POV where a person may not want to fully transition.

I am not sure how you figure that it violates doctor client priviledge though. They are set up as a guideline for therapists treating GID. They are not hard and fast rules. This is stated right at the beginning of the document.

It in no way creates a standard for what is or isnt acceptable as a TS. It only sets out standards for the patient and therapist to use as a model for transition. There are many of us who identify as TS and recognize that transition is not a necessity. I can provide names I am sure as can others on this forum.

Like many people I think you grossly misunderstand this document and the reason is misinformation. Please go read it. Then go to Anne Vitale's (http://www.avitale.com)site and read her information. And keep in mind she is on the board of WPATH. I think you would be well served with this. It will clear up a lot of your questions I am sure.

The HBSOC is a document generated by WPATH which consists of numerous people across the spectrum of the health industry. It is not a bible for therapists. WPATH membership certainly has many therapists but also General Practitioners, Psychiatrists, Anaesthesiologists, Endocrinologists, Surgeons to name a few.

Physical presentation is not transition. Transition is a state of mind first. SRS is completion of that state of mind. Some girls dont need $30,000 worth of cosmetic surgery along with SRS to feel they are in their correct gender role. Living that role is enough for some, and others just living with doing no modification is enough.

Lastly, I dont think anyone is calling you crazy in any way shape or form, most of all me. My point to therapy is only that it is a path to self discovery and thus self determination; nothing more or less.

:hugs:
Kimberley

Raquel June

07-16-2008, 07:23 AM

There are many of us who identify as TS and recognize that transition is not a necessity. I can provide names I am sure as can others on this forum.

...

Lastly, I dont think anyone is calling you crazy in any way shape or form, most of all me. My point to therapy is only that it is a path to self discovery and thus self determination; nothing more or less.

I haven't had time to read that stuff yet, but I definitely will.

Even though I was quoting you, I wasn't really ranting about what you said. I was more talking about the opinions I've seen over and over on other forums. People seem a little more diverse around here.

Thanks for the help :)

melissaK

07-16-2008, 07:52 AM

I have enjoyed your inquisitive essays Racquel. You write well; thorough in not rushing to your point. Kimberley is right to point out WPATH is moving the standards, albeit slowly and in a forum full of compromise. Kimberley also refers to Ann Vitale's site. Below is a quote from one of her posted essays that I posted on another thread in this forum. I suspect she too would say you are not crazy in your quest for acceptance of some middle ground short of SRS.

I have the perception that other countries, i.e., those with socialized medicine, seem to set the standards of gender a bit differently. The Europeans who have always had fewer social hangups about nudity and sexuality than Americans, seem to have less angst over accepting non binary gender roles. And with that comes more willingness to find those middle grounds between being either Ken or Barbie. (I know of plenty of exceptions, so my perception is meant only as a broad generalization.)

In my personal quest for self happiness I have wanted a middle ground as well. Its not an easy place as the emphasis is on being either Barbire or Ken.

Hugs,
'lissa
__________________________________________________ _________
You'll find mention of hormones without transition in this respected therapists notes too:

"The exogenous administration of cross sex hormones has shown repeatedly to have a profound, almost immediate stabilizing effect on the gender variant individual’s psyche. The medication appears to resolve a hormonal imbalance in the brain that the individual’s endocrine system cannot otherwise provide. Indeed the testes in pretreated male-to-female individuals and the ovaries in pretreated female-to-male individuals may be playing a role in exacerbating the problem. Further relief is attained with optional surgery and re-socialization into the new gender role, eliminating gender expression deprivation as an issue."

"After more than fifty years of treating gender issues hormonally, it is beyond dispute that despite some possible negative physical side effects, the introduction of cross-sex hormones has proven to be the center piece of a successful treatment regimen for this population."

http://www.avitale.com/hbigdatalkplus2005.htm
__________________________________________________ _____________

RikkiOfLA

07-16-2008, 12:32 PM

Hi Raquel,

Truth is, there are a lot of us who are like transsexuals in some aspects of our lives, like crossdressers or even completely comfortable as men in other aspects. Sexuality, family relations, work, hobbies, relating to strangers, housework, cooking, sports, etc.--there are many different aspects to life, and many ways to find comfortable niches that a third-party might label "male" or "female" (or "both" or "neutral" for that matter). Years spent in denial are still years spent in a career, maybe a long term sexual relationship, developing skills around the house, ways of relating to people, and so on. So a decision whether or not to transition is not typically a black/white yes/no decision. Can a person be a woman and still like NASCAR races? Sure!

Even hormones is not a simple decision. Today, there are many female hormones available, with different effects. Estrogens, androgen blockers, and so on. One size does not fit all.

Well-read therapists and endocrinologists (and you only need the well-read ones) know that the latest Harry Benjamin standards specifically address the needs of transgendered people for whom SRS is not the goal. They understand that hormones can be useful in some cases. A good therapist will help you clarify your own goals, rather than dictating a road map that leads to some standardized "transition."

You are unique, but you're not alone.

Blessings,
Rikki

SatinDoll00

07-16-2008, 01:36 PM

I think therapy can be helpful for some. I do not think it is necessary for everyone...or at least it shouldn't be. Personally, I know that if my life were different that I would have chosen the path of transition, but I am not sure if I would undergo GRS when it really came right down to it. My fears may be irrational, but surgery is a very serious step, and things can and do go wrong.

I know that I would love to be more feminine, and once I was on hormones, I might change my mind about GRS, but I am not 100% convinced that the technology is where it needs to be to be 100% infallible.

It doesn't matter, for me, because unless I want to make some very major life altering choices in addition to the ones concerning gender, it is not a possibility.

However, with all of that said, I can certainly understand Racquel's position. Saying to someone...'well, you are not a real TS, and you should consider therapy' because their idea of what they want for themselves is different that what you want for yourself is like telling someone that is a bi-sexual 'you are either gay or not, and if you cannot decide, you need therapy'.

One of the things I have always felt was most endearing about the GLTB community was their open mindedness. However, it has been my experience that that is not always the case.

CD Gary

07-18-2008, 05:33 AM

racquel,
Hearing you say that not being able to pass is a big deal, most therapists scoff at that. They say what is "passing" or what is being "read" Its a state of mind.
I have yet to see pictures of a TS that went through FFS that didnt look female. Passing is not that big of a deal if you go through all the steps. Hormones help and if thats not enough then you can do FFS.

The other thing you say is you wouldnt want to tell your parents to call you a different name at holiday gatherings.
Yes, anyone whose thought about SRS can sympothize with that, but the bottom line is it is about you not them.

There are considered to be 2 different kinds of TS men. One knows they want SRS from a very young age and the other comes to terms with it in their 20s or 30s, but may not act on it until later in life. If you are possibly the later, it may be wise to seek out therapy to try and figure things out.
You say you know what you want, but yet you seem to be making excuses for not transitioning.
Im not trying to label you or generalize you. Im just trying to explain why people suggest therapy.

Edit: Also saying you are not attracted to men doesnt mean anything. Most TSs have suppressed part of their personality and its not that uncommon for it to surface after taking hormones.

Raquel June

07-18-2008, 08:57 AM

racquel,
Hearing you say that not being able to pass is a big deal, most therapists scoff at that. They say what is "passing" or what is being "read" Its a state of mind.

And that kind of thing makes me lose more faith in therapists who specialize in TS treatment, because it's certainly not a state of mind. There are CDs on this forum who have the guts to go in public all the time, and when they post pics it's pretty obvious that they don't pass.

And I'm not the best judge of things. There's a local CD friend of mine, Suzanne, that I went and said hi to at a bar. Suzanne was en femme, I was not. The first time I had seen Suzanne out, I thought she was a GG -- an unattractive one, but I still thought she was a GG. Anyway, I went back to my table (half way across the bar), and a GG I was with, Jen, had quickly recognized that Suzanne was male. We were with another friend of mine who had quickly spotted Suzanne as male from across the bar a few weeks earlier.

People can tell. They're just usually polite enough not to say anything about it. So if your therapist tells you that you pass for long enough, and tells you that you're just paranoid and people aren't staring, maybe you'll believe it, but that doesn't make it true.

Look at this TS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SbvdyO6bHs

She's had SRS, other surgery, been on hormones plenty long, and had enough estrogen her whole life to develop breasts before HRT. She has a femme voice and is pretty cute. Well, if she gets pointed out at the mall as a tranny ... you need to think again about how passable TS girls are.

I look pretty good as a guy, and maybe I could convince myself that my tall broad-shouldered self looked decent eventually after HRT / SRS, and maybe I could do something about my hair line, but I'd never be passable, and if you think otherwise you're just very confused about the situation.

SatinDoll00

07-18-2008, 09:56 AM

I would literally KILL to look like this gurl in the video.

If some guy spotted her has a TS, he must be hyper-sensitive to it.

She looks like a GG. If I saw her someplace, I would never suspect she was a TS. The voice is really amazing.

Kimberley

07-18-2008, 03:35 PM

I was recently at an "event" for my G/F who is fully transitioned. Anyway we met another of her friends there and my wife commented that she was lovely and no TS could ever look like that... uhhhh wrong dear... I was having a good laugh at it that is for sure because I know she too was fully transitioned and married to a nice guy and all. What a hoot.

At any rate, surgery can do wonders but it cant do socialization. That is what we have to do on our own. That is what RLE is for.

:hugs:
Kimberley

CD Gary

07-18-2008, 04:58 PM

You have to realize that when you're looking at pictures of people from this board, you already know they are a man dressed as woman.

Do you see a ton of people in public where it is obvious that they are a man dressed as a woman, or is it more the case of I can't tell if thats a man or a woman? Do you even pay that much attention to other people? Who cares. That's the point is if you get hung up on not passing it effects you. If you're unconsciously drawing attention to yourself, then people will pay more attention and notice something they may not otherwise.

Obviously passing is important yes, but people can get really hung up on it and blow it out of proportion.

And that kind of thing makes me lose more faith in therapist

It seems like you have some kind of prejudice towards therapists already.

What was the point of the posts you have made? Anytime someone suggests therapy you reiterate your hatred or disillusions for them. It's the only way you're going to get any answers. You can relate only so much to other people because everyone's story is different. Do you just want people to tell you you're fine, live you're live the way you want to, ROCK ON!

You've made some interesting confessions which IMO is you're a TS in denial.

CD Gary

07-18-2008, 07:06 PM

I just watched your video and your reactions are out of proportion.

If you saw this person out and about, at the gas station or whatever, you're not going to question it. Whereas if you see them at a TS or CD bar, you might, because your perceptions are different. At TS bars, people pay more attention because they know some people are men dressed as women.

She does have some "tranny" features, but is easily passable.

The most important thing is the voice. If anyone questions whether you are a man or a woman, they're going to do something to hear your voice, and if it sounds feminine, they wont question it further.

Raquel June

07-18-2008, 07:11 PM

It seems like you have some kind of prejudice towards therapists already.

What was the point of the posts you have made? Anytime someone suggests therapy you reiterate your hatred or disillusions for them. It's the only way you're going to get any answers. You can relate only so much to other people because everyone's story is different. Do you just want people to tell you you're fine, live you're live the way you want to, ROCK ON!

You've made some interesting confessions which IMO is you're a TS in denial.

I wouldn't say I have a prejudice against therapists. Therapy has helped me deal with things in the past. But I don't like being told that I should get therapy when I'm not depressed and not really confused about my feelings. While people might call me a little flaky, I'm not mentally unstable and my life's going pretty well. I certainly have no "hatred" for therapists -- I'm good friends with a couple therapists. I absolutely have no "disillusionment" with therapy -- at one point I put myself in therapy because I was sucidal, and several months of therapy later my life was better than ever. I actually enjoyed therapy, although it was emotional and stressful at times. I felt like a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was able to function better in life. I actually have a great deal of respect for therapy, and I think it would honestly be a sort of mockery for me to go through the motions of seeing a TS therapist just to try and manipulate them into getting the prescription I wanted.

The point in my posts? Well, looking at the topic... I'd say the main point is that I feel very bi-gendered, and I'd like to try mild HRT, but most doctors will require you to spend 3 months in therapy, and I've always got the impression that most therapists are pretty used to a normal progression of things in dealing with TS that isn't something I'm interested in.

I'm a TS in denial? I'm not denying anything. I've been pretty forthcoming about it. It really depends how specifically you define TS, though. Barring multiple major breakthroughs in medicine, me going to therapy isn't going to make me decide next year that I want my penis removed.

When people suggest therapy for potential TS, it often looks to me like the expected result is that either the patient will realize they are not TS at all or 100% TS. When so many people I talk to have that idea, I do wonder how many therapists would share it. I suppose I would enjoy talking to a therapist and/or doctor who was more open to the ideas in melissaK's link.

I just watched your video and your reactions are out of proportion.

She does have some "tranny" features, but is easily passable.

The most important thing is the voice. If anyone questions whether you are a man or a woman, they're going to do something to hear your voice, and if it sounds feminine, they wont question it further.

You don't know that. Obviously that's not the case all the time. Most people are around other people constantly, and there are a lot of things you don't even realize you're able to spot. While someone might look totally passable in a picture, simply their size and bone structure is going to make people do a double-take and look at them more closely. There are plenty big GGs in society. These girls stick out a little, but on further inspection they look like any other girl. A big TS (who isn't actually overwieght) will stick out just as much, but on further inspection is going to fail to pass pretty fast. The big hands, the bigger head, the broad shoulders... It's really just common sense. I'd have to gain about 35 lbs. in the hips and none in the rest of my body to look remotely female from a distance.

07-18-2008, 10:00 PM

how about my point of view another ts . well i would say your afraid of the big change . yes you could lose some friends, family. maybe your job but it's a risk we have to take. it does not take a rocket scientist to know we are born in the wrong body. the sad truth is most of us leave it late in life to transition case in point i was 43 years old. and have some male features that just wont go away unless i have surgery like that will ever happen. some days IMHO i pass well and other days i wish I'd stayed in bed. and most days i just don't pass. thats a big reason i just don't post pictures like i use too way too fat and ugly. hell there are way better looking cd's here than me and i am full time.
and the voice i just plain give up. i have my doubts that the video is a ts. she's just too damm good. your point about ts being messed up can apply to anyone here if you think about it ...
yes i have self esteem issues hello i look like a guy in any womans clothing, i am not fooling anyone, i sure wish i could .

i was just like you before i started. in the end it was suicide or at lease give it a go ... and yes there were times i wish i chose the first route. yes this path is frustrating there are time i am sick of having to prove myself everyday but life is not easy. the hormones help me feel better about myself it gives me a piece of mined inside, fact is i am who i am i can't change that unless i win big money. i can't go back but going forward is a hard process.
i truly think it's our lot in life to suffer a type of living hell not relay a guy and not quite a woman. and this is as good as it gets. we have to make the best of what we have. in my case it's not much but it's all i have. we all deal with crap everyday. i wish i was thinner, shorter, had a decent female voice, a pretty face like yours, bigger boobs, and on and on.

i guess my point is this racquel what do you want? how much time have you left on this earth? in 10 years from now will you look back to this day and wonder what if? can i ask you are you happier has a guy? or are you happier has a woman with all your faults. who are you.
i would never tell you how to lead your life Hun but i sense fear of the unknown in you. we all have that. i don't know if my post will help but i think life is what you make it.
good luck in your journey.
i am here for you

Regards,
MJ

emmicd

07-18-2008, 11:30 PM

Racquel,

There is no simple answer for those who walk the delicate line of knowing their gender identity. For many years I was very content with just crossdressing and purging. I would dress in secrecy and find solace in doing so. I thought for a long time that I might be TS but I kind of ignored my feelings about it and just continued to crossdress.

About 5 years before I got married I drove down to a gender identity clinic in Virginia to seek an evaluation of whether I should consider hormones and SRS. I was very confused then and I needed to talk to someone. I at times felt suicidal and depressed but I continued fighting and trying to be happy.

I spoke to one of the medical doctors, a woman who seemed surprised that I was dressed as a guy when I came in for evaluation. The truth was I really wanted to dress up but I never crossdressed in public before and I was very nervous. However I did wear a dress underneath my male atire. The nursing assistant said I looked really cute in the dress and said I was very sweet.

I spent a few hours at the office answering their questions and writing essays and taking test geared to understanding gender. They prescribed to the Harry Benjamin standards of care and said that in order to be considered for HRT I had to start living and dressing as a woman and would start treatment and it would be a 2 year process. I told them I was very interested in transitioning but I knew in my heart I was not yet ready to do so and told them exactly how I felt. They suggested I not do such treatment since I clearly was not ready for it. They did however state that I should speak to a therapist as soon as possible.

At home I did start speaking to a therapist and revealed all my inner feelings about my tg/cd, insecurities, bouts of depression and overwhelming need to dress up even if it was in secret and my family life.

I also attended a few support group meetings with other TG and on one occasion went out dressed. It was scary but I did it. It was an hour and a half drive to CT to a meeting. I heard others talk and I spoke briefly about my feelings.

I eventually realized that it did not seem appropriate for me to start down this path so I kind of repressed my TG feelings and put on my best guy approach to life. I knew I could get by because the truth of the matter is I was always treated as a guy because I did not publicly express my feminine side and I was able to survive in male mode.

About 4 years into my therapy my therapist felt I should give dating a try and she introduced me to a shy young woman who I really took a liking to. I was shy myself and I felt comfortable with her. Throughout my dating I never revealed this side of me. I fell in love with this girl and actually proposed to her after a year and a half.

We married and we have a son. We invited our therapist to our wedding and our son's christening.

I am a very loving and caring husband and proud father. I am delighted.

I still have feelings of desiring to be a woman and considering HRT. I don't believe these feelings will go away but I try to suppress them. I have to much to be concerned about with a wife and son and wish not to complicate matters. My wife and son mean everything to me. I still crossdress and will always need to do so. I feel I will still have this need to wish to be a woman but I have lived in male mode my whole life that it seems very unlikely and also I am very concerned about my wife and son.

So in answer to your question, No you are not alone. I have the same feelings.

I wish you well.

Good Luck.

emmi

CD Gary

07-19-2008, 05:25 AM

Racquel, I'm sorry I got a little carried away.
What I meant by being in denial, is it seems like you'd transition if you could pass.
That's what I went off of. And I do honestly believe that passing can be overrated. Not everyone agrees on that obviously.
Hormones are suppose to transform your body over a period of time, broad shoulders, hips and butt ox are listed as features.
Prescriptions are available for a receding hair line.
It is a huge decision.
It doesn't seem like anyone has a good answer for taking hormones with out transitioning. Gender psychologists may be bias because there is limited information known on the topic.

MJ, are you living full time in order to obtain SRS?
I hope to get myself into therapy or a support group with in the next month to figure out if that's the path for me. Right now I want to do it.

melissaK

07-19-2008, 08:23 AM

A lively discussion, thanks to all. Self examination of what we value and want in our life, what we think our situations allow us to have, and our perception of how the world and others in it value us . . . pithy topics.

hugs,
'lissa

melissaK

07-20-2008, 09:35 AM

You know something? I might not be beautiful, though I always wished I was, but I am happy and accept myself as I am. .

I second that. If we measure ourselves by Sean Connery or Jennifer Aniston attractiveness standards, only two people on the planet are happy - Sean and Jennifer. We can tinker with plastic surgery, hair styles, body art, or whatever is culturally in fashion to aquire an appearance we like better, but in the end, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and certainly our own eyes are top of that list. We do have to accept ourself in whatever form our genes express us or we are assured of living a life with some self esteem problems as we won't ever measure up.

Still, I know I have a tough time accepting my appearance as a woman - I am not there yet. A lot of cultural conditioning to overcome. I don't fault Raquel for having similar difficulties. Counselling has been some help in my own efforts, but so have self help books and reading and posting in the forums.

hugs,
'lissa

Raquel June

07-20-2008, 12:38 PM

i guess my point is this racquel what do you want? how much time have you left on this earth? in 10 years from now will you look back to this day and wonder what if? can i ask you are you happier has a guy? or are you happier has a woman with all your faults.

That's the problem. If I had to pick one I'd rather be a girl, but I'd probably be happier as a guy. But life being easy doesn't equate with being happy, so who knows? A lot of TSs know that transitioning will make their life much more difficult so they wait until the drive gets too great to not try to transition. I sense resentment from a lot of them (not you!) because transitioning has made their life much harder and they look at me as trying to take the easy way out. Some have even given me the impression that I am not to be taken seriously unless I want to be miserable.

I don't want to take away from what anybody else is doing. I just feel a little different. I have a lot of respect for you, MJ, and you know everybody here loves you. I hope you're doing OK. A lot of girls around here have too much testosterone, or at least sound bipolar, but you should have a "world's greatest mom" shirt.
:hugs:

sybercom11

07-21-2008, 09:35 AM

There are alot of b-gendered people on hormones. They often go by the word, she-male. They don't take spiro or other anti androgynes, only female hormones.The idea is to keep that male drive while aquiring female secondary sex charactaristics.

I would have to say I fall into this category. I would have to think that the percentage of people who change sex is so small that many many more are in this category as well.

I never transitioned fully out of fear. And that outweighed my need to be female down below. I was always just fearful of what it entailed to go all the way because I have read so many horror stories about sex changes. Probably 9 out of 10 stories you read about transitions are not very uplifting tales.

Thus I go about my life playing two roles: half the time presenting as a male, such as at work, and the rest of the time presenting as a female and being female as much as I possibly can without changing the plumbing down below. (That's one of my fears: that the new plumbing will not work properly and right now it does.)

Now, a lot of those who have transitioned look down on those of us who have not gone or do not plan to go 100 percent of the way. Yet I believe we are in the greater number. We all have our reasons for not going all the way. And we are quite content -- or at least resolved -- to be what may be called "********" or "transgenderists."

GypsyKaren

07-23-2008, 10:05 PM

Here's the deal with hormones, at least my experiences with a lot of doctors. It's not that they have a prejudice against any specific TG group, most have a problem dealing with us all. Most doctors don't want to get involved with HRT for TS'ers, most that do will require a recommendation letter from a therapist or p-doc. I'm a post-op and I can't find a doctor who will touch me, and I've asked quite a lot, that's why I self medicate.

I would think you would have a great deal of difficulty finding someone from either group to help you if you're not transitioning, because hormones cause permanent changes and carry real health risks, and they don't want to start someone down that road who isn't 100% sure they will never turn back. You can't give that assurance or make that guarantee because you yourself don't know who you are or what you want, and no one's going to give you a script just to try things out.

Karen Starlene :star:

SatinDoll00

07-25-2008, 02:47 PM

and no one's going to give you a script just to try things out.

So it is preferable for them to not give you the prescription, and have you self medicate using online pharmacies? I guess at least their hands are clean since they were not directly involved...but it seems very akin to handing someone a wire coat hanger when they come in for an abortion because the doc doesn't agree with it.

07-25-2008, 07:46 PM

A lot of TSs know that transitioning will make their life much more difficult so they wait until the drive gets too great to not try to transition. I sense resentment from a lot of them (not you!) because transitioning has made their life much harder and they look at me as trying to take the easy way out. Some have even given me the impression that I am not to be taken seriously unless I want to be miserable.

I don't want to take away from what anybody else is doing. I just feel a little different. I have a lot of respect for you, MJ, and you know everybody here loves you. I hope you're doing OK. A lot of girls around here have too much testosterone, or at least sound bipolar, but you should have a "world's greatest mom" shirt.
:hugs:

Thank you racquel ,:o
The truth is finding one's path is difficult at best. i would never push anyone but guide them. we know this is never easy all i want is for everyone is to be happy. and i do care and take people seriously. i hope in time you can find your path. i know it does not help much now but keep searching you will find an answer. and you have many friend here who will help and support you .

GypsyKaren

07-25-2008, 07:57 PM

So it is preferable for them to not give you the prescription, and have you self medicate using online pharmacies? I guess at least their hands are clean since they were not directly involved...but it seems very akin to handing someone a wire coat hanger when they come in for an abortion because the doc doesn't agree with it.

In a word, yes. Medicine today is all about ass covering and cashing the checks, plain and simple.

Racquel, you can certainly try to find a doctor who will help you, you just may find one. You have to do what works for you, and there's no rule that says you have to transition or do anything, it's your life and only you know what's best for you. Don't let anyone try to force you into a box or down a road you don't want to go down, do what ever it takes to bring you happiness.:hugs:

Karen Starlene :star:

SatinDoll00

07-26-2008, 12:40 AM

In a word, yes. Medicine today is all about ass covering and cashing the checks, plain and simple.

Isn't that just horrible? Really?

There are people in this world that really need the help of medical professionals, but all they can think of is profit, and covering their collective asses.

Meanwhile, people suffer, and die, because they cannot gain access to the care they need.

I need to clean something!!! :Angry3:

Raquel June

08-04-2008, 03:36 PM

In a word, yes. Medicine today is all about ass covering and cashing the checks, plain and simple.

Yeah ... It really seems to be all about what makes money and the doctor is getting pushed on them. I remember when I was really depressed a few years ago, Zoloft really didn't do anything for me, and I had done a lot of research and I really wanted to try Wellbutrin. All anti-depressants seem to work for a decent number of people but not work or have bad side-effects with a lot, too, and I've seen a lot of people who really thought Wellbutrin helped them when SSRIs didn't. Well, a couple doctors refused to give me Wellbutrin and kept telling me I should try Lexapro. I tried that for a month and it just made me feel terrible. I always had a headache and a little bit of a ringing in my ears. Lights seemed really bright. It certainly didn't make me happier.

It just seems like drugs have to gain momentum. Millions of people take Viagra now, so doctors get free samples to give out, and they aren't afraid to write the 9-billionth prescription for it because there's no way they'll get sued.

I guess that's the annoying part. What do you think is safer for your body? Giving yourself a massive pill-induced erection that gives you a headache and makes your face bright red? Taking a SSRI that significantly alters your brain chemistry or an MAOI that actually keeps your brain from being able to flush out chemicals and has lethal interactions with half the substances known to man? Or taking an estrogen supplement?

If people decided transexuals weren't all mental cases, Vivelle-Dot would probably be as popular as Viagra.