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LovelyRita
07-08-2008, 05:40 AM
Sorry this is so long, but this is what is on my mind


The life of a transexual is not an easy one. I know now I am one and not a crossdresser for I have always wanted the life of a girl. I want to make a fuss over flowers, a pretty dress, or cry over a movie without getting the "are you gay" stare. I have such tenderness in me that has stayed so bottled up all my life afraid to come out. "Boys are not that way" A therapist I went to a few times called me an emotional retard saying as a child I never put a label on an emotion so now when I have a situation I dont knowhow to react. Both my wives have called me a robot, but I know it is that the reactions and emotions that are in me are not that of a male. I have lived my life as a persona and not a person.

In a relationship I always steer to the supporter role. I am not the man who takes charge and will handle it and dont you worry little thing I am here. I am the one who wants to be held and told not to worry. I am the one who says whatever you think is best I will support you. I have always been in hetero- relationships and I am not gay...bi maybe. I love women but all my relationships with them I have always felt that...

"I love you so much because you are the person I strive to be"

I put that sentence by itself because i am not sure it is accurate enough. It is such a complicated area that a book could be written about it. But in a nut shell at a physical level I look at a woman and first see the features I like and want, then I see her outfit and wonder if that top would look good on me. Emotionally I have always almost worshipped the girl.
Sexual fantasies have almost always been of me being the female and being ravaged by the guy. But I am not really attracted to guys. There have been a few that were handsome enough that I could not stop looking at them. But I could see myself being in a relationship with one were I to transition, not before. But that brings up the big question

Do I transition?
I have thought about it, prayed for it, even planned for it. But I dont know if I am brave or strong enough to handle that life and the impact it would have on my family.

Well this post has been alot longer than I planned on I just have I lot f thoughts running in my head and had to put some of them down in writing/typing.

Jamie S.
07-08-2008, 06:02 AM
I know that feeling of closing yourself off to others because of my TG status all too well. I can't really tell you whether you should transition or not based on a single thread, that is something you need to know for yourself. Deep down if this is something you know you really need, then you will know it eventually.

So should you transition? I don't know, but you do. Somewhere inside of you lies the answer and someday you will find it.

KARI AN
07-08-2008, 07:31 AM
I believe you need to follow your feelings, I can relate to your situation and for the longest time , most of my life, I had different feelings also. It wasnt until this year that my inside feelings now reflect on the outside of me so I can only comment that your are the final judge on your transition. Kari An

Kaitlyn Michele
07-08-2008, 08:21 PM
Rita

there are tons of posts on this subject --- u are going thru what many of share....

i dressed alot and enjoyed it over the years but recently i am overwhelmed with thougths of transition and i am starting to go thru with it in stages.

this is the only solution that makes sense for me ...the more i think about "not being able" , "i cant do it", "i cant pass',.etc...the more depressed and bitter i get...the opposite is true when i start to move towards my goal...i've also wasted a ton of time asking myself why? and whyme? but there is no satisfying answer...it just is...and i am the way i am....

i talk to alot of girls and the advice is always the same...go slow and consider a stepbystep approach

take care
michele

Andi
07-09-2008, 12:05 AM
.......Do I transition? I have thought about it, prayed for it, even planned for it. But I don't know if I am brave or strong enough to handle that life and the impact it would have on my family.......

Dear Rita, I feel for your confusion and pain and I will pray for you as well. This is a difficult decision and one you won't be able to make alone but ultimately YOU will have to make the final call. I would suggest another counselor, one who is an experienced TG therapist, and try again to define your future course. I too have so many confusing feelings but my age, 63, is pretty limiting. You however are fairly young with hopefully a long life ahead of you so this decision carries so much more importance regarding your future happiness. Since each of us is responsible for our own happiness I know you will search your heart for the answer and won't make any decisions lightly.

:love:

LovelyRita
07-09-2008, 03:19 AM
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. Since discovering this site, I have poured through the archives of questions, stories, and responses and found this to be such an uplifting and supportive group of people.

Miss Tessa
07-11-2008, 07:04 PM
Before taking any steps with hormones or other medical treatments, get a qualified therapist's opinion. And try to make friends with TS and TG people too of course.

The best thing to ask yourself is the motivation for CD'ing and how far you really want to take it.