Ever out yourself at the workplace and what were the consequences?

[KateSpade83]

Ever out yourself at the workplace and what were the consequences?

I never outed myself at the workplace except once - I told a female coworker I ate lunch with that I'd do role reversal with her - me being a cheerleader. I guess a little bad gossip followed later. But all other jobs, - when they found out I cd'd - I usually didn't last long or my job didn't go permanent.

If I did a definite short term contract job - maybe I might try to the risk of Halloween in a skirt suit. And might continue with it for a few days!

[Staci K]

I haven't actually come out, but did show a co-worker my Nicole pic. Since both my wife & I work for the same place, and everyone knows we have a 14 YO daughter, I played it off as I volunteered to spend some quality family time with my wife & daughter.

Come Halloween, I will be taking Nicole to the office. To lessen the blow while dressed my wife is planning on going as a guy to the office. Should be a blast - I can't hardly wait to sping it on our co-workers.

Nicole

[karynspanties]

You told her what??? Why would you do that??? What made you think she would be into that??? Telling someone you would roll reversal with them as a cheerleader is not the way to come out to a co-worker. Wow.

[JakobeMeredith]

I've only come out to one person at work. And that was because she pegged me the first time we really talked. So I felt like why not just tell her. She is cool with it, and we talk a little about it and other things too. She is a great girl.

[joann07]

I've told a couple of people at work including a gay friend who I work with.
He's really cool about it and likes that I hangout with his friends in femme.
Our company has it's own policy which supports equality for all GLBT employees so we don't have to worry about being discrimminated or fired because of who we are.
My gay friend and I are both members of the steering committee of our Pride Network and I have come out to an number of fellow members.
They all support me in every way and I am so happy that everyone is so accepting.

I've gone to work dressed once, but it was only for a short meeting.
One day, I was working from home and my steering committe had a meeting and so I decided to dress up and come to the office.
I had a great time and they really admired my courage to come as JoAnn.
I would definitely do that again.

Hugs!

[Kristen Marie]

I have a fairly high profile position in a very public environment so I have really selectively chosen what I say to whom and when and how much. I have found that it is easier for me to drop a nice compliment to a coworker on how well she looks in that outfit, or her shoes....or if someone is gay...that I include them in the conversation or ask how their partner is...as opposed to avoid them as most people still do.

To my knowledge, we have no transgendered people in the organization and I have never picked up on any tiny telltale signs that I think I can spot. I would hope that more opportunities to share would open.....and they will.

[Suzy Harrison]

Yes ~ To both of my female friends at work who I work very closely with.
The result was total acceptance and encouragement. We've been out together several times now on shopping trips and to resturants.

Also to my female HR manager - Again total acceptance and an assurance she will do all she can to help me..

[tricia_uktv]

Interesting. I am now out with two people at work, one of whom is my HR co-ordinator. Next week I am coming out to two more and have planned how I'm going to do it. My idea is to surround myself with friends who I can trust before the big reveal. But things are bound to go wrong at some stage. I'll keep you informed :)

[Deborah Jane]

Yes, but he didn,t believe me.
I,ve got a "Debs" pic on my mobile [cell] phone, one of the guys saw the pic and asked who she was. When i told him it was me dressed up, he just laughed and told me to stop taking the p*** and who was she really? I told him she was Debs, he said she looked cute and that was pretty much the end of it :)

[CLARRISA]

I haven't done that but today it could have happend by mistake, i returned to my desk after coming back from a job and was having a chat with my collegue when i noticed something shiny on the floor under my desk, i couldn't believe it, it was one my hair clips, my heart missed a beat, fearing he'd spot it too, i managed to keep him distracted enough by chatting and stealthily put it in my pocket...Gawd i really hope this other side of me isn't trying to out me.

[sandra-leigh]

Ever out yourself at the workplace and what were the consequences?


I have no idea how many people at work have picked up clues from the clothes I wear -- not that I'm blatant about it, but if anyone by chance seen my panties or pantyhose peaking out, or noticed bra straps, or figured out "Hmmm, looks more like something a woman would wear"... if any of these things, then it hasn't gotten back to me. I haven't noticed anyone at work avoiding me, no more so than usual (my job used to involve policy enforcement, which didn't make me the most popular of people at work.)

Relatively early on in my dressing, apparently one Saturday I walked within a few feet of a (friendly) co-worker; I was wearing a skirt at the time. The next work-day he approached me and mentioned having seen me (and yes I definitely was at exactly the place he mentioned); he made a vague quip about it having to do with my Scottish heritage, I said "Ummm, yes, something like that", and that was the last I heard of it; if he ever mentioned it to anyone else, it never got back to me.

At one "alternative sexuality" event that I was completely dressed at (wig and all), one of my female co-workers came in; I saw her on the dance floor in her bra. I don't think she happened to look my way though, and I never mentioned it to her.

About a month ago, I think I saw one of my female co-workers sitting about five seats down from me (and with a fairly clear view towards me) when I was in relatively outrageous dress at a Pride comedy show. I'm not certain it was her, though (I wasn't going to risk getting closer); if it was her... well, she works part-time for Human Resources so she would know not to go gossiping about what she might have seen.

Thus I am certain that one of my co-workers has seen me cross-dressed. Any number of others might have (I've walked boldly down main commercial streets, and I seem to be easy to recognize); more-so, I've gone around town to malls or grocery shopping or what-not "gender-bending", such as wearing a skirt or dress in "guy mode" (no wig, no attempt to hide my birth gender.) The gossip mills could easily have the fact known to 50 or more people -- but if so then there hasn't been any observable consequence. (Yet?)

[Nicole Erin]

Some of my coworkers know.

I think more people, including my boss, knows but no one really gives a rat's.

I wouldn't really care anyways cause my job would not be hard to replace.

Consequences? None really. Once in a while people might ask a dumb question or make a dumb comment but nothing really hurtful, more like in jest.

I am not going to go and say "Hey everyone, I am CD" over the intercom or anything tho.

[KateSpade83]

You told her what??? Why would you do that??? What made you think she would be into that??? Telling someone you would roll reversal with them as a cheerleader is not the way to come out to a co-worker. Wow.

It happened this way - if we ever get to it I can be a football player and you the cheerleader and the we can do it the other way around. But nothing ever happened.

[DonnaT]

Once. She came in early and caught me dressed, but she was fine with it and even opened up more.

[KandisTX]

But all other jobs, - when they found out I cd'd - I usually didn't last long or my job didn't go permanent.


Since Texas is an "At Will" work state, remember that employers do NOT need a reason to terminate your employment. Also, working as a temp is never a good thing because you never do know when that assignment is going to end. You'd be better off trying to find a permenant job and keeping your dressing in the closet unless you KNOW for a fact that whomever you tell will a) keep it in the strictest of confidence or
b) be totally accepting and understanding
c) work with you to improve your skills
d) all of the above.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Mitch23]

I went out with the girls on a girlie night out as a girl last year. It was quite obvious from my presentation that it was not my first time. There seems to be a gereral awareness that I am a crossdresser since then but it has not affected us or our working relationship in any way. We are doing it again twice this month and its kinda accepted. I work in a care home and there is a post op TS on the payroll and one open gay and another lesbian.


mitch

[jennCD]

I kinda do that often, tho with a smile, it's easy for everyone to ignore ya,... here's my link about the most recent time.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=85562

:)
jenn

[Melanie R]

I outed myself to my secretary whose response was now I know why you are the best boss in my career. I do not know if she told anyone in our organization. I was the President of a large organization working for a board of directors. When we did the WE documentary in 2006 I was already retired but did hear from several of my former executive staff who made the same statement, "Now I know why it was so easy to work for you".

[mackemlass]

See my earlier thread here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=70488). I have since left the job but remain friends with the lady in question.

[DeeDeeB]

I generally come to work in costume on Halloween. Several years ago I was Elvira, and last year a gypsy fortune teller. I got lots of good natured laughs and won best costume both times. I'm sure many suspect something more is going on, but no one has made more than casual comments.

Dee :fairy1:

[Paulette]

My admin mentioned that I should pay closer attention to my underwear color the other day. I was wearing a pair of light colored mens cotton slacks and a pair of pretty pink floral panties. I had looked into the mirror before leaving home and could not see the pattern or color. The trouble came when I had to bend over to get a file from the area near her desk.
I normally wear a suit but it was so hot that I went casual. She said it in a friendly way and so I said how bad is it and she said that I should be careful for the rest of the day bending around people. She then told me that they did not show when I was standing up. This started a conversation and I told her that I hated plain whitey tighties and loves all of the colors girls get to wear. She said hey I wear pants all of the time why can't you wear panties. The conversation ended right there.

[Jaquelyn]

Well, it goes like this: There are few females at my work, and so, if I get the chance during the day I will chit chat with a couple that I like, one in particular, I have had several conversations with regarding the numerous girly mags she briings to work, (especially when she was planning her wedding). I add my 2 cents here and there regarding makeup or shoes or whatnot; even helped her a little when it came to bridesmaid colors, lol. SO.......anywhoo, she never says boo to me about it for the most part, a little ribbing, that's all.
UNTIL about two weeks ago, we happen to both be in the boss' office near the end of day, and being a particular hot day, I asked her if the mascara she used today was running (really just teasing cause' she hardly needs to wear any she has such nice lashes!!!!!) She says no, and grins, the boss turns around and says "who's mascara is running?" She replies with: he is, don't you know he wears dresses and makeup? :eek: Needless to say, I am standing there red faced, and have to do some major sidestepping in front of the big guy, and just looked at her with that: I'm gonna get you for that one, look........kinda pissed me off, and was kinda funny at the same time.....

[CD Susan]

I unintentionaly outed myself at work once, this is what happened. I had to rush getting to work one morning and forgot to remove my makeup from a dressing session the night before. I was sitting at a table in the meeting room with two other people, one a regular type guy and the other a lesbian who is open about it. The guy was looking at me and said "what is on your face", the lesbian then said "you forgot to take off your makeup". I immediatley realized what I had done and left the room to go to the mens room to clean myself up. When I returned I sat at the same table with the same two people. Neither one of them said another word about what had happened. The guy never said anything to me about it but the lesbian talked to me about it many times. She knew what I was and understood completely. Her and I became good friends because of what happened that day. For many years later we would joke about it and she was the only one in the company that I could freely talk to about being another person that led an alternative lifestyle. She is still a friend of mine but I do not see her very often since I retired.

[Joanne f]

Yes and i got ostrosized, so i told them to stuff the job and i moved on :heehee:



joanne

[Empress Lainie]

Right after my epiphany I bought my first two female things, a new ladies watch and a butterfly key ring.

I was teaching two sisters about 10 and 11 the next day and one said oh what a pretty watch, you just got it.

I told her I was going to live the rest of my life as a woman. She and her sister were very supportive and all the subsequent students and parents were too, one lady hugged me and said us girls have to stick together.

The TV specials on transgender had just come out, so whe I walted into the office in my skirt and top, and said this is me from now on. we had a nice little discussion of transgender, and it was fine.

UNTIL two new students with parents who thought TRANSGENDER was a dirty word that shouldn't be said in front of their children. They filed a complaint that said I said I was transgendered and was wearing women's clothes and a wig. A tranny hater at city hall ordered me fired. I have an EEOC suit against the city and am going to file against the individuals responsible
I plan to meet with the mayor of this EEO city andgive him the facts and ask for a letter from him to the community schools authorizing them to hire me.

It has cost me $20000 or more plus they lied on a reference to the school district saying i was dismissed for "cause" which has prevented me from substitue teaching. I also found the city was in direct violation of 3 state laws regarding employee access to their files, if I can find an attorney to file a class action suit against the city I will do it. The state atty general didn't want to pursue it.