Am I A Crossdresser Or Just Androgynous?

[Jenny]

Hi everyone, Jenny (the confused one) here again,

This thread grows out of my reading some of the other threads here and looking at the fabulous pictures some of our members have posted. It has raised questions in my mind as to my true nature.

Sometimes I wonder if I am a crossdresser at all. My goal in dressing is to "get away" with wearing as many girl clothes as I can as my regular wardrobe. So I wear girl's panties instead of boy's underwear, girl's jeans instead of boy's jeans, girl's shorts instead of boy's shorts. I hardly ever wear a dress (although I do wear miniskirts sometimes) or pantyhose. Even my panties are mostly (I would say more than 90%) stretch cotton instead of silk or satin, because cotton is more comfortable and less "sweaty" to me. If you saw me on the street today, you would probably not even be aware that I am wearing girl's clothes, although I am wearing deep purple bikini panties and girl's jeans. I am starting to wonder if maybe I am more androgynous than a true crossdresser.

I don't mean to unload on you all but sometimes I feel a little out of place in the forum because it seems my dressing is so different than other members. Like another thread discussed, my dressing by itself hardly ever (never) leads to masturbation for me. You all look so sophisticated and sexy while I mostly look kind of plain and ordinary. If I could be accepted as a late teen or early 20's girl without anyone giving me a second glance, that would be heaven for me.

Is there a category of crossdressing for what I am? Am I a cross-dresser? A transvestite (eeww -- sounds so horrid clinical!!)? A transsexual? A drag queen? Androgynous? Unisexual? Or what I usually think of myself as -- one mixed up little puppy?

Do any of the rest of you have these kind of questions about your dressing? More importantly, do any of you have any answers for these kinds of questions?

Jenny (on kind of a down day, I guess) :(

[CDKathy]

Hi Jenny,

You got problems, we got, well...maybe not exact answers...but isn't that what we're here for? Who else are you going to ask other than a counselor who deals with gender issues?

First, yes, you are most definitely a crossdresser. Just exactly where you fall in the transgender spectrum might better be answered by a qualified gender counselor.

That said, at your age, I had much the same feelings of confusion. While, at that time, I didn't push the clothing envelope as you are, people weren't quite as accepting then as they are today. I also didn't have the availability of "androgynous" styles either. If both of those had been true, I would have been where you are now. As it happens, those things are true today so, at the moment I happen to be wearing Levis 515 stretch denim girl jeans over Hanes Her Way stretch cotton bikini panties with a unisex t-shirt. And I only just came in from grocery shopping in town. Sound a bit familiar??? ;)

If it wasn't for some other considerations in my life right now, I might have worn something a bit more feminine on top. So, like you, I am currently trying to get as femenine as possible in my every day dress. But, I make no effort to feminize anything else. I don't do makeup of any kind. I don't do my nails. I don't wear jewelry.

I was asked that very question, about myself, directly by someone on another forum. I replied that I consider myself androgynous. My feelings do not change one way or another based on my clothing. I am the same me regardless of what I am wearing. But, I have had a lot of years to figure that out. But I started out feeling just like you described. I thought about growing breasts or getting augmentation. I very seriously considered going on hormone therapy. Today, I am very happy I didn't follow through with any of that.

I am NOT a woman either in whole or in part. I do not feel like a woman in any way. On the other hand, I don't feel much like a man either. But I am heterosexual beyond any reasonable doubt. So it took me most of 40 years to figure that out. You have far greater resources available to you today than I had.

Get yourself hooked up with a qualified transgender counselor ASAP. The questions you are asking indicate that this is starting to seriously trouble you. Find and talk to a professional before it starts to eat you up inside.

But remember, we are here to help so don't be afraid to post your "problems". That's what this board is here for.

Kathy
_______________________
Peace comes to those who truely know and understand their inner selves.

[GinaB.]

Jenny
I would not be concerned about what you are just be yourself. I too wear girls underwear, shorts and jeans and I don't care what people think. This makes me comfortable and not horny. I raised to children to be adults and then went thru a divorce not at my choosing. Now I live for me and my comfort not looking for any label. I am a firefighter that drag races motorcycles in my spare time then I dress not worrying about the rest of the world. Just do what makes you happy.
Gina

[Jennifer in CO]

Jenny,

Your not alone at all!! and I'd say you were a cross-dresser in the pureist form. I have been a cross-dresser dang near all my life. For many years, I wore fem jeans/slacks/shorts as well as tops and shoes full time, until my oldest daughter go to the "fashion aware" age and I had to back down to just under-dressing or the ocasional top/slacks. Now that she is out of the house and the younger daughter is less caring I can push back the line a bit. As I sit here, Im wearing white Jordache short shorts and a black sleevless top and a pair of black clogs...all fem and all totally acceptable as male attire due to their andro appearance. I too get no "sexual" satisfaction from wearing fem clothing...well almost none..a really nice dress or blouse/slacks outfit makes me feel "sexy" every now and then (or makes the wife feel horny which gets sexy...). They just "feel" better, comfortable, whatever you want to call it. Yes I enjoy "getting away with it" in public...that is fun at times. Even more fun to not be passing but yet pass, or just wear something because you want to. Personally, I love to wear skorts in public. From the rear it looks like a pair of shorts, from the front a skirt. I'll usually wear a black or dark denim if I dont want to be too noticable, but it is fun to watch people IF they notice. Have a good one!!

Jenn in CO

[JustmeBear]

Jenny

Hey my boyfriend who well most of the time...you can not tell that he is wearing womans clothes...All his jeans are womans jeans and he is always wearing a bra and panties......When he is hanging out at the house he wears shorts ( womans)...and you know he doesn't consider himself a crossdresser but more Transgendered....
He has womans dresses, blouses and so forth...plus a wig...I have only ever seen him once all dressed but all other times he is in "generic: clothing...womans of course..and unless you are really looking you can not tell that he is wearing a bra under his attire....

I had asked my boyfriend once if he had any secrets and he said I wouldn't call it a secret..strangers just don't notice as much...well he is right..Unless your not looking for the lables and the bra strap you would never notice.....
He once said it isn't the clothes that make a person..It is what you feel on the inside...and he says he completely feels like a woman on the inside..
He lives his life as awoman.....and he explained to me...he wears what any other woman wears...He dresses up for work though ( I have not seen him off to work yet) After all woman do not walk around 24/7 in dresses and mini skirts....

Maybe you are just an "everyday" woman.....
But what do I know......

Take care

[Jenny Beth]

Hi Jenny,

You've asked the questions we've all asked ourselves at one time or another. Just where do we fit in all the terminology? My conclusion is, I don't really give a hoot. Knowing where I sit on some scale isn't going to change how I feel about myself so why waste my time thinking about it, it's counter productive. Whether you enjoy formal ball gowns or simple shorts and tank tops doesn't change anything either, if it feels right wear it!. Some of us here have been at this for many many years and we don't have answers either, but as has been said this is a great place to learn about ourselves.
By the way, it's nice to have you back!

Jenny B

[Marda]

Hi Jenny
***
Well there ya have it !!

A full month has gone by ... Citizens of Planet Earth have spoken ... all votes have been cast !!

You Are !!!

***
Off the record ... I'm a teeney bit confused by the question ... "... Just Androgynous? "

That to me is like asking " ... Just A Diamond?"

***
Q. "Would you rather be the cardboard *Box* it came in ?"

Love / Marda

[Gabriel]

Hi Jenny, * hand shake *, you are not alone. But seeing that this post is a month old and your post count has already went over 100, I'm guessing you are now less confused/troubled than you were "back then". :cool:
I've read quite a few threads started by you, and they are great! Take care and have fun.

[Stelli]

OK, I think that I have been in your shoes. I use to dress a lot in androgenous clothes almost all my life. I even asked my mother at some times to make me some clothes because I could not find appropriate pieces that would satisfy me. And she was amused yet she did it for me. She somehow was taking me a bit weird. At that time I did not consider myself crossdressing a such, it was just appropriate clothing to me. Even when I choose to buy mens clothes I select materials that are gentle or fuzzy. And I also inherited a lot of clothes from girls, so wearing such pieces was not uncommon to me. Bluring of this kind is no match for girls clothes. I consider cross dressing when I explicitly wear fully in explicitly womens clothes. Some pieces as you call them "androgenous" are actually once upon a time called UNISEX. Denim, t-shirt and such are UNISEX clothes. Yes nowadays you can buy girls denim trousers that are not too feminine but you can go out of way and choose explicitly feminine pieces. Unless trousers are really femme I do not consider them as crossdressing. But in the same time I can imagine that someone else will put the line elsewhere (e.g. what ever is not explicitly male is feminine). It is your choice where to put your line. Hint: What's feel good?

However I sense something else: This is not real question, the real question is where you are (if I can be open enough). And that is in this times of taxonomies somewhat tricky to say. So I would just forget taxonomy and go for liberation... Do you feel good in whatever you wear? If yes, that's it. You are who you are, and we all love you as you are!