Feminization or De-masculinazation?

[helenr]

Good morning, I have been reflecting on which is my greater need. The human brain is so complex. What we want can change. Before my regimen of spiro, a relatively safe anti-androgen, it was all about fetish, etc. Clearly the majority of the visits to CrossDressers ,as numbers indicate, tend to take that orientation-I would identify them as 'normal males' with a kinky side. With my libido knocked flat, that doesn't work for me any more. Instead I am so happy to see finer body hair, a calmer attitude, no intense sex drive that affects relationships (supposedly, healthy males have sexual thoughts constantly-a pretty girl, that is someone to f#%^), etc.
I think I am becoming more of a 'neutral' or agendered individual. I wonder if others are in this same situation? Feminization is fun-growing 'little girls' as a result of the Spiro, but I don't envision hundreds of hours of electrolysis, and on and on to achieve something that isn't a reality for me. I still love women, but I seek a more girl to girl relationship if that can ever be achieved.Women are very selective as who they will let into their group.
How do others evaluate this conundrum? best, helenr

[Miss Tessa]

Spiro is great. Not only does it help with soft skin and body hair, but it knocks that libido down like you said, and you can make clearer choices about your relationships.

We all know how most guys are, they hit you up on myspace aggressively pushing you for sex and you know even when they don't ask to **** up front, we know they have that in mind as their goal. Sex is fine, and a long long time ago I was more sexual than I am now, but being on spiro and 'monez has tought me things. I can see people I am attracted to the way a woman must see them. I don't feel the need to make everything lead to sex in a date or whatever.And I can determine better Long Term Partners better than I would be able to if I only had the Male Agenda on my mind. I am a lesbian by the way to clear anything up.

[helenr]

Thanks for taking the time to comment. don't get many replies to my topics. Think topics like 'what kind of pantyhose do you prefer?' gets more attention. It is hard at times to look hard inward to figure out what is going on in your mind. Easier to ignore this. good luck and hugs, helenr

[Scotty]

For me it's both, But one in the same - to me feminization is the demasculination....

I have come to really like my own body now as I see hips, small breasts when I get out of the shower - softer skin, less hair etc..

[Dawn D.]

Helen,

Yes, it is quite a change isn't it? My libido had dropped significantly for nearly two years before I even started on hormones. As I came to find out though, I had some other medical issues pop up that caused my "T" level to drop over the last couple years. To make a long story short, lets just say that I was one lucky girl in that, the only legitimate way for me to solve my physical problems and the fact that in coincided with my desire to transition MTF, was to be prescribed estrogen as a treatment. My OB/GYN hasn't yet even prescribed a anti-androgen for me. But, the effects of "E" alone has accomplished some amazing things for me physically and mentally. Like you, I now am a much more calm person and I am seeing a reduction in body hair as well as some breast growth. My wife even commented this weekend that she is noticing a very feminine look to my chest, neck and shoulders.

When I first came to this site, I had no idea who or what I was. I, at first believed myself only to be a run-of-the-mill CD. However my inner feelings were not satisfied with the thought of "just wearing" feminine clothes. As I found out after lots of tears and counseling, my goal is ultimately full transition. My next chapter is hair removal and I will begin that in another month. Now, whether or not surgery is in the equation is only a matter on money and timing.

[sybercom11]

Good morning, I have been reflecting on which is my greater need. The human brain is so complex. What we want can change. Before my regimen of spiro, a relatively safe anti-androgen, it was all about fetish, etc. Clearly the majority of the visits to CrossDressers ,as numbers indicate, tend to take that orientation-I would identify them as 'normal males' with a kinky side. With my libido knocked flat, that doesn't work for me any more. Instead I am so happy to see finer body hair, a calmer attitude, no intense sex drive that affects relationships (supposedly, healthy males have sexual thoughts constantly-a pretty girl, that is someone to f#%^), etc.
I think I am becoming more of a 'neutral' or agendered individual. I wonder if others are in this same situation? Feminization is fun-growing 'little girls' as a result of the Spiro, but I don't envision hundreds of hours of electrolysis, and on and on to achieve something that isn't a reality for me. I still love women, but I seek a more girl to girl relationship if that can ever be achieved.Women are very selective as who they will let into their group.
How do others evaluate this conundrum? best, helenr


Good topic, Helen!

I am married and so very fortunate that my wife enjoys my feminine side. I have written here and elsewhere about how a guy tried to dominate her when she was in college. She will not get that from me for sure. We are at the very least equal partners and actually I am quite submissive to her out of my own choosing.

My libido has been "knocked flat" like yours. We have pretty much evolved into a girl-girl sex relationship. Lots of tender moments, cuddling, body massages. And a lot of me pleasuring her down below without reciprocation on her part. My wife is so amazed that I can do that for her and then just come up a cuddle and then a little later go down and do it again!

We do the housework together and shop and cook and just do many things together as girlfriends even though I still have my male parts down below. I would never think of leaving my wife at home so I could go golfing like many husbands do.

I am so lucky to have this chance to be feminine and have a girl-girl type relationship with my wife. I am thankful for that blessing every day.

[Kimberley]

Libido? Whasss that? lol.

Helen, not everyone is driven to fully transition and I believe it is intrinsically wrong for anyone to suggest that anything less is somehow substandard. What standard? SRS and FFS and electro isnt for everybody nor should it be. Even WPATH recognize this now.

Many live partially transitioned physically and some only in presentation 24/7 without any physical mods to speak of. The limits are those you set for yourself, not those of others. Certainly others will question you and for you to question yourself is a good thing as long as it doesnt overtake your life. If it does then consideration of your goals should be reconsidered.

No matter how far you go, it is YOUR life and happiness that has to be to the fore, not that of others. I am sure your decisions will be yours and yours alone; as they should be.

:hugs:
Kimberley