Faking a Reality Show to come out of Closet

[jen6868]

Hi everyone as you can see I am new to the group. I am trying something and not sure if it is a good idea or not. I am using a Reality Show idea to come out of the closet to my spouse and get her reaction on me being dresssed. I am using the application requirments as my method to allowing me to dress. What does everyone think of this and give me some input.

[DonnaT]

Welcome to the Forum Jen.

I'm not so sure the idea has merit. It may seem so on the surface, but lies can come back to bite you on the butt.

She may have no problem with seeing you in a dress for a reality show, but that's far from real life.

How were you planning on approaching it?

[Kimberly]

Erm... how about the truth??

Your spouse won't like this method, for sure, because it is showing her that you do not fully trust her with this issue: if you did, you could just tell her and explain things to her, like many of us have on this forum.

Serisouly, I would not go down this route... If you want to be open with her, then go about it the usual way: by telling her and explaining both your and her's position within the relationship and CDing.

Big no no!

[Rayna]

Hi everyone as you can see I am new to the group. I am trying something and not sure if it is a good idea or not. I am using a Reality Show idea to come out of the closet to my spouse and get her reaction on me being dresssed. I am using the application requirments as my method to allowing me to dress. What does everyone think of this and give me some input.


Sorry to disagree with you here hun, but that's nothing but a bad idea! You will be breaking your spouse's trust by doing this, and that just never leads anywhere good! A healthy relationship is founded on trust. If you can't trust her to love you for who you are, then maybe you need to reflect on some things yourself as well.

[jen6868]

I appreciate your thoughts on this and I of course don't have to go through with this. I was planning on doing it Saturday and spending the day as a female. Anyway I will rethink my approach and try something else. Just wish I knew the best way to say this and talk to her about it. Just getting tired of where hose under my male cloths in seceret and dressing when she is away.

[Tamara Croft]

I know exactly how you must be feeling... not about coming out... as I'm a GG, but about not knowing the right words to say or how to approach a subject I know needs discussing. I let things build up and build up until it makes me ill sometimes. I have a couple of ways now of dealing with issues that seems to work for me. I talk to my friends here, or post my problem like you have and see what replies and advice I get towards helping me sort it out. I also like to put things down on paper about how I'm feeling and sometimes I'll write my partner a letter if I really can't say it to their face.

I'm not saying this will work for you, but writing all the key points of what you are going to tell her might help you. But when you do tell her, tell her the truth, no secrets, no lies. I don't know how long you have been married and hidden the fact that you are a CD from her, but I'm guessing she is in for a shock. So don't leave anything out when you do tell her, it will only come back to haunt you when she finds out. Good luck with everything.

[Clare]

No No No No No!

Don't just suddenly appear fully dressed!

Listen to the advice of the other girls. Perhaps offer some subtle hints to your SO over time (week/s) and see what the initial responses are like.

If you have a positive feel for her attitude, maybe you could raise the topic (heard on the radio...) and get some dialogue going. She may even ask what your interest is in cd/tv.

Just be very careful with this approach - again trust is the key here. This is the most difficult time for a cd with their partners! Don't take undue risks now - it may be more opportunistic at another time.

You will read many posts in this forum where GG's feel betrayed by their cd partners because of the 'secret' they've been harbouring within the relationship.

Christine

[Sigrid]

Not a good idea Jen. You'd just be adding one more lie onto the pile. Trust and honesty are key to a healthy relationships. You need to up front with her about the issue and how you present it to her. It's not the easy way, but it is the right way.

~Sigrid

[Krissi]

Right idea, wrong path. I think that is a creative way to introduce something to your wife, but has waaaay too many ways to backfire on you. The details of a reality show facade could really overwhelm you if she ever scrutinizes it.

Now something I've seen some couples do is have a "fun night" Have a night once or twice a month or so and do something different. If you're looking for a way to get her interested without coming right out and telling her this might work. I'd take it slow if I were you though. Let her pick the idea for the first night. Then next time its your turn you should pick something other than dressing so that she doesn't get the idea that this is all you wanted. Then maybe when its your turn again you suggest that it might make a fun night if she helped you dress up and play maid, or secretary, or something like that. Then she has a hand in dressing you and you don't just spring your femme self on her. Then you might bring up a couple days later how much fun that was (if it truly was for her) and then start incorporating dressing in all your date nights that you control, and if your lucky she will suggest some for her nights too, and you can build from there. Wear panties and a Tshirt around the house one morning, some fun things like that.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

UMMM HELLOOOOOOOOO did everyone forget the show last fall????

"HE's A LADY"

[Wendy me]

now you need sponcers and wrighters and you can start your own show..............

[Sigrid]

Wendy, I'm getting this funny feeling that maybe you're angling for the "wardrobe supervisor" position. hmmmm?

~Sigrid

p.s. need an assistant?

[jen6868]

I always thought they should do a reality show like Big Brother where they Guys live as Women 24/7 in a house and get cut one by one until there is a winner. I think would be fun and idea would sell and be watched.

[Ariel]

I don't know what the best way to tell her is for you. I told my wife a couple of years ago that I enjoy wearing panty hose. She even gave me some hf hers to wear. Then, somewhere along the way, I asked her if I could borrow one of her night gowns one night, and she said sure and handed one to me. When I found out that she was ok with that, I bought some of my own.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I just kind of worked my way into telling her, a little at a time, over a period of time. That way, I could guage her reactions, and go from there. Even if I stoped telling her, she still knew that I enjoy cross dressing.
How ever you do it, it has to be the right way for you and her, but just dressing and saying "hey honey, guess what...." is definately the wrong thing to do. Talk about culture shock

[Ariel]

I always thought they should do a reality show like Big Brother where they Guys live as Women 24/7 in a house and get cut one by one until there is a winner. I think would be fun and idea would sell and be watched.


I would watch it. :D

Hugs,
Ariel

[Wendy me]

Wendy, I'm getting this funny feeling that maybe you're angling for the "wardrobe supervisor" position. hmmmm?

~Sigrid

p.s. need an assistant?


shopping yes i could do that.... :p

[KewTnCurvy GG]

BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hugs
kew

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

i see my posting fell on deaf eyes,,,

there was a tv show on last fall called "She's a Lady" wer men had to live as women 24/7,and be eliminated one by one till they had a winner.

i think they r planing a second season of it for this fall,, i hope they do :D

[AbbyLee]

Be Very, Very careful, deceit, can be your worst enemy. Occasional role reversal may work, it has for some. Also, you have come to the right place for the best advice.

AbbyLee

[Fiona K]

The only way is to be honest, chose your time carefully if you can but please please don't spring something like this on her, and don't expect here to be OK any time soon!!

Be careful
Fiona
xx

[jen6868]

What about just starting with one item of interest and see how the reaction is. Like telling here that I really enjoy wearing pantyhose.

[Christine Hanes]

At first blush I was like.. Interesting Idea. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how many ways it could go wrong.

In reading some of the other responses I would have to agree with the two basic ideas of being honest and going slow. I thought the "fun night" idea was grand and I may try that.

[Katrina]

I have to agree with some of the other comments here. You probably shouldn't spring it on her and definately take it slow. My GF has known about my dressing for about 8 months now and she still hasn't seen me as Katrina fully. Sure I've worn heels around the house, or done my eyes up, or a cute skirt and cami, but thats it. Just my $0.02 (sorry I don't have todays conversion factor for Euros, Pounds, etc). ;)

[~Tammy~]

I don't think you should simply shock her by suddenly dressing up in front of her, nor do I think you should make up stories to have an excuse to dress up. This will likely lead to more distrust in your relationship.
One idea I agree with is having a 'fun night'.
Play a little game, make up some forfeits. One forfeit could include you dressing up.
This is something Tamara and I have done a few times, although admittedly she already knew about my dressing up so we took things a bit further! Especially when fuelled with alcohol :)
I strongly believe you need to try to find out what her reaction to alternative lifestyles is first before letting your innerself loose on her. Once that happens there is no turning back.
Hope things work out for you.

~Tammy~

[Melissa A.]

I think you have gotten the idea, This is a serious issue and should be treated as such...in private, between the two of you.

I do agree with Tamara. Writing her a heartfelt letter may work better than talking, at first. You won't be interupted, or thrown off what you want to say, and she will have time to digest all of what you are feeling and have been going through.

There have been alot of great threads here lately on the subject of coming out to spouses, or the tolerance, or lack thereof from SOs. I also suggest you search for some of them, there is alot of good advice and disscussion there.


Wishing you the best.


Hugs,

Melissa :)

[DonnaT]

You could open up with a story. Something like:

"Honey, I was listening to a talk show on the radio and they were talking to a comedian named Eddie Izzard. Seems he's a crossdresser and uses that fact in his act.

Anyway, it got me to thinking how I've always had this desire to wear women's clothes since I was X years old, and have done so at times. I really like it. In fact, I would like to do so again. What are your thoughts about that?"

[~Tammy~]

I used the Eddie Izzard comparison when I went about telling my sister.
It helps to associate CD'ing with someone they know in the public eye.