How to take that first step?

[dolly]

i have worn my girlie clothes inside my home only. would like to get out but have not been able to.

can i learn from your first steps and first experience going out as a girl?

thanks a lot.

[foxyjj111]

depends on where your from girl?

[dolly]

texas.

[PrettyGiGi]

Get someone, either professionally or (carefully) off craigslist to make you over. You will not recognize yourself. Don't drink and drive under or at the speed limit and go to a place you never go. You'll be surprised!

[dolly]

thanks for the advice, prettygigi.

[kendra o'riley]

i have worn my girlie clothes inside my home only. would like to get out but have not been able to.

can i learn from your first steps and first experience going out as a girl?

thanks a lot.

well, honey! I'd offer to you to do it with a friend. I was introduced to the community by adear friend that runs her own transformation studio - and as such is a dear member of the community (Hi Gina!) she not only got me lookin' well... ready. But was a cheerleader, guide and den mother. We went to Club Shine at the Oxwood Inn (here in LA's "San Fernando Valley) and I met amazing girls who welcomed me with loving arms. It was safe and fun and scary (first steps out) and exciting and as Gina sez... addicting. It's great to be the new girl - everyone wants to meet you. Good luck!

[tricia_uktv]

Find out where cd's are welcome - or meet another more experienced cd'er. There will be places where its totally safe and acceptible

[Miss Petra]

Gina was absolutely a big part of me coming out. Once I saw the woman im me there was no turning back. I will never forget two times when I rode with her in a car on my way to the club for the first time and on my birthday. First ride she held my hand the whole time and rubbed my back cuz I was freakin...Cold clammy hands shaking all over and having full blown panic attack. 2nd time she held my hand and said how proud of me in how far I have gone and what a wonderful person I was. Yes Gina is a saint.

To answer your question: I seeked out a local girl on this forum and asked for help. She met me at the Mac store for a foundation match and then guided me over the next few months. She helped me pick out a wig and finally gave me the courage to go to triess. Yes Rene you know I love ya.

If you ask for help you will get it.


Hugz,

Miss Petra

[deja true]

Hunny! You wanna giant dose of confidence all at one time?

Sign up for a convention!

My very first time out of the house was at Chicago's Be-All. Surrounded by a couple of hundred t-folks, there's absolutely no way to be scared or feel nervous. The only thing you'll feel is anticipation for it to start, then joy to be with so many friendly accepting sisters and brothers and then, finally, a great sadness when it's over.

With seminars and social events planned for the entire time, theres also no worry about what your going to do. The seminars, in particular, will put you together with some of the smartest, most confident trans people you will ever meet, an you'll learn more about us and about yourself in that concentrated couple of days than you did reading furtively on-line for years.

You'll make lifelong friends and advisors in the first day. Find one near you, or even better travel to another city and meet folks from everywhere!

Many of the girls here go to conventions all over the country and can tell you about their experiences. Or read about mine here (with lots of pictures!):

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=83370

Have fun, Dolly, be happy!

:D

[Kate Simmons]

Convincing ourself seems to be the hardest part. On my first extended time out and interaction with the public 7 years ago, I found out my anxiety was much ado about nothing. Not only did I "pass" but was referred to as a woman as well by others. This showed me it was mostly about manner and bearing rather than appearance. The only real way to gain confidence is to do it.:)

[dolly]

thanks, all of you for your advice and sharing your experience.
love you.

[danam]

I did the hotel thing, walked down the hallways dressed. It was pretty exhilarating. Made eye contact with a few people and that really got my heart pumping. I made a video of the experience! Posted it here a few weeks ago, people seemed to like it. I watch it almost every day to relive the experience:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmVwwsMu9Ds

[NoraTV]

I loved your video. You are a courageous lady.

[joann07]

It's takes time and practice, but with a little determination and confidence you can do it.
Me, I started going out at night to a relatively safe and quiet place where there aren't a lot of people coming in and out, such as a post office to drop off a letter. Then, I started going to the gas station to fill up my car.
The more and more I did it, the less nervous I was about stepping out the door the next time around.

It also helps if you can be a member of a local crossdresser group or find other dressers through a message group on Yahoo, or similar, in your area. When I joined my local Tri-Ess chapter, I met a fellow sister who was a very experienced dresser. I was so inspired by her experiences that I wanted to take that first step and go out in public during the day.
She took me under her wings and brought me to the mall, to the Goodwill store, and then took me to eat at a regular restaurant (Applebees). The whole time, she reassured me that I look great and was doing fine with my presentation, mannerisms, and all.
After that day, I was hooked and started going out more and more to the point where I had the courage to fly in femme last year.
If it weren't for her, I probably would still be dressing at home, but today I've learned and experienced so much that I'm so confident in myself that I can pretty much go anywhere to any place without being nervous or conscious of the people around me.

Once you take first step out the door, there's no going back because the closet will be locked forever. :heehee:

Hugs!

[dolly]

thanks, JoAnn.

[JadeOnyxx]

Okay! Now here is a subject I can talk about all night long. I just love to blog about first time experiences. (lol) I can remember my first time going out as a female like it was yesterday. I felt so free. Like I owned the world. For some odd reason when I am dressed as female, I get this feeling; like i have a lot of Go power. Like i get an extra boost of energy. I wore a cute pink formal skirt with a white blouse and had a Gucci handbag. I thought that I was the stuff and some. :-) But I guess it's all on where you are from and you being from Texas, I'm sure they will accept you with open arms. They should be used to us girls since that's where they annual Miss Gay USOF A and USOFA @ Large Pageants are held.

[DanaR]

Hunny! You wanna giant dose of confidence all at one time?

Sign up for a convention!

My very first time out of the house was at Chicago's Be-All. Surrounded by a couple of hundred t-folks, there's absolutely no way to be scared or feel nervous. The only thing you'll feel is anticipation for it to start, then joy to be with so many friendly accepting sisters and brothers and then, finally, a great sadness when it's over.

With seminars and social events planned for the entire time, theres also no worry about what your going to do. The seminars, in particular, will put you together with some of the smartest, most confident trans people you will ever meet, an you'll learn more about us and about yourself in that concentrated couple of days than you did reading furtively on-line for years.

You'll make lifelong friends and advisors in the first day. Find one near you, or even better travel to another city and meet folks from everywhere!

Many of the girls here go to conventions all over the country and can tell you about their experiences. Or read about mine here (with lots of pictures!):

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=83370

Have fun, Dolly, be happy!

:D

Conventions are a great place to go out under fairly controlled situations; excellent for someone's first time. There are classes available and lots of help to be the best you can be. These are held in many locations around the country.

[dolly]

thanks JadeOnyx and danar for sharing your experience and advice.
love.

[Carla_L_MI]

can i learn from your first steps and first experience going out as a girl?
My first time out I simply drove in the car and got gas. I knew I would probably chicken out so I dressed in the car and left town knowing I would get on the highway and need to stop. Trouble was the light came on sooner than expected and I ended up at a local station that did not have debit! I had to walk in an pay. Luckily I had 5.00 cash. I had to pass several people on the way. Most didn't notice although one guy smiled and acknowledged me. I was so scared.

The second time I forced myself to just walk in the parking lot of a large department store.

Next time I went to a movie. I loved that, after paying I bought some popcorn, watched the show, used the ladies room then left. I will never forget that time.

[Karren H]

Well I first went out in high school.. What a trip.. But more recently I started going out again... And it was on business.. Price Utah.. Dead of winter... Stopped in Salt Lake and bought the cutest leather winter jacket... And got to the hotel.. Really didn't plan on going out but the urge just came over me..

So after getting ready... Went to the door and grabbed the handle... And turned around.. Did that maybe 20 times before I just yanked the door open, down the hall and out the back door... Into the cold night air.. Thought I was going to pass out from excitement and the terror... Then took a drive, went and bought gas, and hit a local Walmart to pickup a soda...

After that, getting dressd up and staying indoors was not an option any more.. Lol. Now leaving the hotel enfemme is a natural as can be...

Just walk outside.. Its anmazing out here.. You'll wonder why you didn't do it years ago.. :)

[dolly]

thanks Carla and Karren. i admire your courage. hope that i will be able to go out in near future.
love.

[SaraCDPA]

Hello, I am starting to go out, but I get so nervous LOL

[DanaR]

This could have been the first time that I was out. I had gone to buy some breast forms and talked to a lady at the store before going. She had me come in before she normally opened. She was real nice and we remained friends for years.

Anyway, after the fitting and I had purchased the forms, I was getting ready to leave and got scared. She talked to me for a while and told me to do what her mom always told her to do; when she wasn't sure of herself. Stand up straight, chest out and just walk like there is nothing wrong. If you think about this, this is what you should do to not draw attention to yourself.

[dolly]

thanks sara and danar for sharing your experiences.

[tamarav]

My own fear of being seen or discovered stopped me from going outside the house for years. Then when I did go out I drove and drove but never got out. I later stopped at malls and would sit for hours trying to build up the courage to get out and merely walk in and walk out.

I wasted so much time being afraid. Now I am making up for lost time, in a big way.

You are the determining factor. Once you feel internally secure, you can go anywhere. Work on that and the rest falls into place.

Now I can hardly get ready fast enough to hit the door.

[dolly]

thanks tamarav. any suggestions for feeling internally secure? what does it mean to be internally secure?

[deja true]

thanks tamarav. any suggestions for feeling internally secure? what does it mean to be internally secure?

Accept yourself for who you are, hunny...

Forget the fear. It's like diving off the high board for the first time.

You've seen plenty do it, but you're still scared. But you've also seen 'em climb out of the pool with a huge grin after the jump and seen that maybe they've got a little pink belly from landing wrong or their hair's a little messed up. But they're happy for the experience and head right back for the ladder!

Just do it, darlin'! :D

[dolly]

thanks for your numerous suggestions. i acted on them a little.

yesterday, i went out of house to pick newspaper in a small gown over full slip. it was ealry, nobodu saw me but it was a new experience for me.

today, feeling more adventurous, i went to pick the paper outside the house but without gown (only in full slip and nothing else). nobody saw me but i felt scared and thrilled to the bone. i do not think i can be more daring for the time being.

thought that i will share my experience with you.

love you all.

[becomingkimberly]

I started by wearing just panties and pantyhose under my guy clothes and going out. Once I felt more comfortable I started adding more femme items. Still haven't got up the nerve to go out fully.

[dominique]

With me it was a walk around the neighbour hood. I was dressed in trousers to get some courage then I went out in a skirt which was even better. Now there's no stopping me.

[dolly]

thanks kimberley and dominique for sharing your experiences.
love.

[SherylynJade]

My first time out of the house fully dressed (other than driving) was last week. I went out with makeup, wig, purse, b-forms, female top, female pants, and wedge heel shoes. All I did was go and get gas, but I live in an apartment so the fear of being seen going to the car and back was even higher. I'm actually getting my makeup ready right now to head to the store to get some gas. This time, I'm wearing a skirt.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I did the hotel thing, walked down the hallways dressed. It was pretty exhilarating. Made eye contact with a few people and that really got my heart pumping. I made a video of the experience! Posted it here a few weeks ago, people seemed to like it. I watch it almost every day to relive the experience:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmVwwsMu9Ds

Dana girl, That was very brave! I only CD at home. Living in the Philly area, I could never go out femme because I know way,way to many people and if I would be seen, I'd rather not deal with the BS. You accomplished more than I could right now. The video was great and you did by yourself which was awesome. I would have to have my wife to go with me for support. If I ever do decide to go out femme, I would do it on a trip to San Francisco where my chances of running into family or friends or co workers are zero.

Its funny, in guy mode, I'm the bravest. I disarmed a mugger with a weapon in Chicago 5 years ago and can face anything without fear or any problem,but going out femme, I'm a total wuss. Oh well,maybe one day.

Felicity :)

[Miss Thompson]

Girls and Ladies, thanks for sharing.

As I'm just beginning I still struggle with my make-up. Not even got any clothes yet. But I'll build my style and get clothes in few months.

I still don't know what my first experience will be. Probably I'll also go to a foregin city, take a late evening walk out the hotel, do some shopping....

Anyway, thanks for sharing, you were very inspiring.

[Jonianne]

Hi Dolly,



any suggestions for feeling internally secure? what does it mean to be internally secure?
__________________
dolly


For me I gained my intenal security by eventually becoming OK with myself even if people "read" me.

It began when I started going to stores and buying female things as a male and at first that was hard to do but after a while it became easier as I became accustom to the idea of people figuring I was buying the things for myself. You know you are there, when you can tell the SA that you are buying it for yourself.

Then going out on Holloween was the first time I went out by myself. That way it didn't matter if they knew I was a male. After that, I started going to a botanical garden during the cooler months with less busy days and wore modest female cloths so as not to draw too much attention. I always went with the attitude of assuming I was going to be "read", but thats OK, I'm just being me. And you know what, most people didn't pay attention or if they did, didn't say anything. Once I got past most of the fear of "if people found out" then I had more internal security.

[dolly]

thanks joni. i can relate to that. i go to store as a male and buy female things all the time. somehow, i did not consider it going out as i may be buying for someone else.

going out fully dressed in female clothing is what i would like to do but do not yet have the courage.

love.

[trannie T]

October 31 is International Crossdressers Day, you can go anywhere you want on Halloween. The other 364 days a year take a bit more effort. I usually go to CD friendly clubs, drag shows or support groups. Except when I go to San Francisco when everyday is Halloween and I go wherever I please.

The first few times I went out were terrifying but still fun. It becomes easier and easier each time you go out.