Taking hormones but still present as male?

[natasha]

How many girls are on hormones, but still dont present (at least) in public as female? I have started seeing a theripist and we have been talking hormones as an option. I have always known that this is probably the road I would end up on once Natasha busted out of the closet, but with a career, mortgage etc..... it does have me thinking at least a little now. Of course things would not be an overnight change but changes will be eminent once started.

My thoughts for hormones are not to become a beautiful centerfold, but rather to feel inside like I know I'm supposed to. At least for me the option of hormones are for mindest rather than appearence.

[melissaK]

Popular topic lately. But a recurrent one. I'm sure anyone who goes to the trouble to figure out how to buy hormones has done some significant research work, but still, read the forum's sticky note on hormones - not to be taken lightly.

Here's a doctor's essay advocating taking hormones without necessarily seeking to undergo SRS: http://www.3dcom.com/tgfs/docs97/tmed9710.html

You'll find mention of hormones without transition in this respected therapists notes too:

"The exogenous administration of cross sex hormones has shown repeatedly to have a profound, almost immediate stabilizing effect on the gender variant individual’s psyche. The medication appears to resolve a hormonal imbalance in the brain that the individual’s endocrine system cannot otherwise provide. Indeed the testes in pretreated male-to-female individuals and the ovaries in pretreated female-to-male individuals may be playing a role in exacerbating the problem. Further relief is attained with optional surgery and re-socialization into the new gender role, eliminating gender expression deprivation as an issue."

"After more than fifty years of treating gender issues hormonally, it is beyond dispute that despite some possible negative physical side effects, the introduction of cross-sex hormones has proven to be the center piece of a successful treatment regimen for this population." http://www.avitale.com/hbigdatalkplus2005.htm

And then there are many who make it without hormones. Finding your own path is a challenge.

hugs,
'lissa

[Teresa Amina]

After a year (or sooner!) you may have difficulty in presenting male, but the changes are slow at first and you have time to either change your mind or get ready for full time.

[Dawn D.]

I knew before I started seeing my therapist that I wanted hormones. I wasn't sure though, if I would still be married if I attempted to actually persue them. Fast forward six months and I am now on Estrogen and yes I am still married! A big thank you, to my therapist and my wife!

Like you Natasha, I have all the same concerns about job, mortgage, family and more. It's the therapy and the personal support system that I have aquired that is helping me move along this path. And yes, to answer your basic question. For the most part I am still presenting as male in public for now. Though at times you will find me out shopping around town, completely presenting as female. As for what I can see happening is, it will become more difficult as time goes on to continue to stay in that male mode. I am 50 years old and I didn't dream I'd have this kind of positive response on such a low dose and in such a short time span. Just started my third month and my wife has brought it to my attention that my neck, chest and shoulders are looking quite femme. As well, I am almost to the point in breast development that I can no longer wear just a tee shirt when out in public without odd looks, lol.

I guess what needs to be answered is, if you respond well to hormones, i.e. breast development, hips, butt and face, are you willing to continue presenting in your male form? Or, do you think you can live as female? I know I will at some point end my male presence and enjoy my new life as female.



Dawn

[Suzy Harrison]

Hopefully I'll be going on to hormones soon - once it's been approved by my therapist.

I want to go full time as a female as soon as possible, but only after the hormones have made some significant changes.

My reasoning behind this is a good part of my job involves going into operating theatres and in doing so, I have to change into the all familiar blue clothes before I can go in.

So I need to make sure I look presentable and convincing enough to change in the female changing rooms, as all of my customers will already know me and my male background ~ so I have to make sure they feel very comfortable with me changing with them in these open changing rooms..

[AmberTG]

I'm starting to find, after a year and a bit more on HRT, that it's becoming more difficult to pass as a man, even when presenting and dressing as one, at work, for instance. I get a lot of strange looks from people now. Apparently, they're seeing something in me now that doesn't make sense to them. I believe that I've crossed over into the "in between" area now. Last week, I got a "ma'am" at a local Subway restraunt without even dressing the part. I guess there was just enough going on for me that day to get gendered as I'd like to be.
Be careful what you wish for!

[emmicd]

To me it seems important to consider female hormones if you are TG but it requires a lot of thought and consideration. Personally I feel I would be more comfortable on female hormones as it would match how I feel but I am very afraid of taking a step like that and because I have a wonderful wife and son and major reponsibilities it just seems like a dream that is not possible.

Crossdressing is very important to me.

My wife and son are extremely important to me.

emmi

[natasha]

This is a "line" i always knew that I would approach sometime in my life. Yes, I have known for a long time that the time would come that I would start walking towards it. Even though I havent started with the hormones yet, it is comforting to know that another "line" does exist. Now I can work towards handling that day. I am finally becoming who I always have known I am.

[Joy Carter]

Does anyone know another who has taken hormone's, in low doses, just as a way of taking the edge off of their gender issues ? It sounds like from what I read here, it might help with the urges I get to be full time. Which is just about every day.

[natasha]

For as long as I can remember I have always known I was more female than male, but always had to present and act male as I was always expected too. Now that Natasha is out of the closet (to my wife anyway) I am ready to move towards what has always been known to me. I do hope that I can continue to work in my current position to retirement but being who I really am is ultimatley where I hope to be. If the hormones only make me feel as I know I should then that is good. If they do in fact make presenting male a problem then I will have to deal with it and move on. The last person I had to fire (who is still a friend by the way) told me he was looking for a job when he found this one. Life goes on one way or another, but I may be needing to wear a bra daily at that point.

Thank you all for your comments, and hopefully it has helped others to some point too.

[Dawn D.]

Joy,

I am on a very low dose of E (premarin). My wife and I were talking last week that she has noticed how, as soon as I get home I don't disappear into the bathroom to get my makeup on nearly as often since about the middle of my second month on E. And, I know, I don't obsess over "When can I go full-time!". I do however still want to, I am just better able to "regulate" my urges so that I can better plan the inevitable.

As for taking them just to take the "edge off", well, I don't know that this is a valid enough reason to take hormones. I'm not making a judgment on your inquiry, it just doesn't seem to be a good method in my mind due to the effects caused by taking E that will become a permanent part of transition. I'm sure you've looked into what E does to the male anatomy eventually?

Still it has had a very "calming" effect on me as I said before that I am quite pleased with (so is my wife). I really feel that the lack of obsession has allowed her to gain a bit more in coming to an acceptable place in her own mind and allows her to see that this is still a very real event in our lives. It has just become a lot more controllable.

Hope this helps!



Dawn

[Joy Carter]

Thanks for the information Dawn. I know I can't go make any kind of obvious gender changes. I'm kinda obsessing over this, and was thinking that a low dose, just might calm these thoughts and feelings down.

[Dawn D.]

Joy,

For as much as I know (which isn't much), E seems to affect everyone in a lot of the same ways and then at the same time it tends to give different results in other ways, it would be interesting to know if it had a wider range of altering our "obsessive" component. Sadly there just haven't been any studies (that I am aware of) to give us a definative answer. Or, maybe there has and someone else here will chime in with a more clear picture.



Dawn

[MJ]

when my shrink gave me the OK to take hormones I was also told to do my real life test IE:- live full time has Marissa no if and or buts 24/7/365.
how can you all go on hrt first and then later conduct your real life test ??? is it not the same standard everywhere ? is that not cheating ...no fair i am telling
if i had to do that you all should too :tongueout

[Amy Hepker]

No Matter what you take, it will take time for them to transform your body. It may take several months before you feel any different, and it maybe longer before your breasts start to show. This will give you time to adjust to your new life. You will feel better about being seen in public with breasts as a male. I know, I have been doing this for about a year now. People at work are just starting to notice my breasts and I feel wonderful about everyone seeing them. You can always tell them that you had to take steroids and now you are growing breasts because of them.

[Kimberley]

Joy, at our age Premarin is not recommended; a transdermal patch is. That said, you may have some luck.

MJ. It is up to the doctors whether RLE is started before, after or at the same time as mones. It is case dependent according to the SOC.

Still I agree with you that if you are going to take them RLE should be in the picture but that is just my feeling and anything but a point of debate. For others HRT alone may well be indicated.

Me? Still waffling because of relationship issues. :sad:

:hugs:
Kimberley

[morgan pure]

I haven't read everyone's post yet, but I need to thank Melissa. I've been self-feminizing for a month on my own, and I DO feel better. Less anxious, more relaxed, life is easier. I have almost no temper, once a problem. Just thinking about my Premarin makes me happy.
Morgan

[natasha]

Here's a relavent story regarding the calming effect that happened to me last Friday. As I said before I am not taking real hormones yet. I have been though taking herbals (1 year +/-), and have seen no physical changes yet.

Without going into specific details. At work for the last 3 years I have had some drastic changes in the environment, in both upper managment and the workforce (yes I am middle management). In the past anger, resentment, lashing out, remorse has been the daily routine for me. This has led to a major loss of weight, a bad attitude at home, and general dissatisfaction of work. After finally acting on what I have hidden for many years.......Natasha.......... and exploring the herbal end of things.

Last Friday, one of the folks involved on the work force end of things confronted me in a very aggressive and abusive manner. If this were to have happened 2 years ago, my wife would have had to bale me out of jail for certain because I would have not taken this abuse.

Fast forward and insert the herbals I am now taking. Instead of fighting back with the individual. I was calm, non-confrontational, non-emotional, clear headed and actually somewhat amused by his actions. This has led to possibly he being arrested for his actions. Along with 3 formal apologies from his superiors.

Is it the result of the herbals (very low E)? or is it the result of Natasha's emergence as a person? I don't know 100% either way but I do know for certain that my thought processes have changed. For that I am all the more confident that I want to continue to walk further towards starting the hormone regime if only for completing the wiring in my head. Any physical changes I feel were meant to be and I will deal with them as needed.

[melissaK]

For reference I am genetic male, 53, had gender issues in grade school, and TS issues since I learned what one was in junior high. I have been doing low dose hormones (E's only, no anti-testosterones, no progesterone) for almost 2 years now. I have experimented with periods of higher doses (8mg/dy for a 150lb body weight), lower doses (2-4mg/dy for a 150lb body weight), and none. While self-reporting always has some subjective opinion in it, this is what I have found:

- on none, I am highly anxious and coping is a day at a time mentally challenging task. Transistioning is all I think of. It gets in the way of living, of work, and depression looms constantly. My lifelong pattern of constantly increasing and worsening anxiety continues. Weekly professional counselling is a needed resource to get by.

- on low doses - something between why bother and wowie - I feel pretty normal. I think about gender issues, but the anxiety is not all consuming. I get to work on time. I interact with people well. Depression is not a looming problem. Male sex performance is pretty normal, but response is slowed. Slight breast tenderness.

- on high doses - transitioning type dose, no messing around, lets grow breasts and stop spontaneous erections - I feel really great. 100% free from the anxiety and obsessive thoughts of transitioning. But, my wife notices the changed interest in sex, noticeably reduced erections, and is none to happy. And my life with her is truly important to me as I find great happiness in that relationship.

I am now quite intentionally living in the middle low dose world. Breasts are always a little tender - and grow very slowly. I notice them and like them; my wife notices them and doesn't like them; no one else has commented. Right now they look like breasts on an aging guy who used to lift weights and has quit and his pects have gone flabby.

I don't know how long this middle ground can be held - but, and I say this with all seriousness, life on 'none' wasn't a quality life for me anymore. I had to do something. Going all the way with SRS wasn't a desired option for me when I first considered it in the late 70's, again in the 80's, again in the 90's, or in the new millenium, for all the reasons you all know from your own reflections about it (won't pass, career loss, loss of spouse, loss of friendships, fearful of surgery, guilt). So, its still a day at a time, but my days are better.

hugs,
'lissa

[Dawn D.]

Joy, at our age Premarin is not recommended; a transdermal patch is.* That said, you may have some luck.Kimberley, possibly you could elaborate a little more about "at our age"? I'm 50, on Premarin and through all that I have heard and read, it seems that there is a great debate as to the use of this form of E. Though I hadn't read or heard this thought about an age thing. I have an appt. next month with my OB/GYN and I intended to take up this issue of using Premarin anyway. I would like to know more if there is an actual issue as to the age thing?

MJ wrote:


when my shrink gave me the OK to take hormones I was also told to do my real life test IE:- live full time has Marissa no if and or buts 24/7/365.

I'm sorry Hun. Would it help that I am 16/7/365, lol?:daydreaming: And, I am at least underdressed the the other 8hrs. It's the working world I am in that I still (at this point) need to show my male side to. This will change in the next 1-2 years and who knows maybe even less. Seriously, I agree with you and others here in the thought that going on hormones should be with the intent that you at least eventually will go full time.



Dawn

[Dawn D.]

Melissa,

Very poinient observations! I can relate to the none and low dose effects you had as I was/am experiencing very similar outcomes. I will watch (of course) for the higher dosage effects as they will be increasing soon.

[morgan pure]

Great Forum! I don't know if I want to transition. I've been doing both for so long and the whole world knows me as a man. I'm also 6'3" with a girl's size 14shoe. Besides work-I would be fired immediately if they knew-despite the law in NJ, I also enjoy the freedom of the male role. I've done drag out a lot and have observed women closely, and women have to be much more circumspect in social situations. The social cues and acceptable behaviors (and weight standards) are very different. As a man I can get away with a lot. I sort of like inhabiting both worlds. We'll see. My breasts are still very small.

[AmberTG]

Dawn, the reason that Premarin is not recommended for people over 40 is that it only works when swallowed (it won't absorb under the tongue) and as it's metabolized through the liver (like everything else that goes through your stomach) it raises certain liver byproducts, one of which can possibly contribute to deep vein clotting and possible strokes. Medical studies show that this tendency increases with age. With the estrogen patch, the estrogen absorbs directly into the blood stream, bypassing the liver on entry, so it doesn't raise those liver byproducts nearly as much as it's slowly metabolized. That's what makes the patch safer.

[Dawn D.]

Amber,

Thank you for that insight! I will be sure to discuss this with my Dr.



Dawn

[Ashlynne]

Excellent thread, I've been on Estradiol for the last 8 years and get along in the real world quite well as a guy. SRS is just not in cards for me, at my age (now 50) I figure it's a little late to be changing horses at this point in a deep wide river. So the hormones are a life saver in that I'm much more accepting of myself and do not need to prove to myself or the world what I really am. I often think to myself how ironic it is that I should be a woman but have to masquerade as a guy and that I need estrogen in order to live my life as a man.... :eek:

[shirley1]

Well I have just ordered some mones off the net Estrodot patches and Cyproterone tablets (blockers) will be interesting to see how long I take them and be passible as male, I have only recently identified myself as ts, but as I am not yet out to most people that know me i guess i am self medding with the aim of eventually having no choice but to tell them.

[Danielle Renee]

I'm not a regular here. I used to be, but life takes us down some unexpected paths. I've been on hormones for over a year. I started self-medicating and then went to a sympathetic doctor and found a counselor. (It's important to understand the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care so you can use them to your own advantage.) I started with a low dose of Premarin but didn't like the animal cruelty angle so switched to Estrofem. I did the research concerning the various forms of E and found very little concrete clinical data that wasn't refuted somewhere else. Like many others here, I have to maintain my job for now, but the hormones really help me feel so much more comfortable.

A couple months after I started the E, I added an anti-androgen. That seemed to make a lot of difference as well. It's like I was suffering from testosterone poisoning and by blocking that, I was able to steady out emotionally. The doctor has been fine with my choices, and is interested in how things are working. I am showing some minor breast growth, but have dropped back to a minimum dose of E and it seems to have slowed greatly.

I must say, my body certainly knew what to do with the hormones! The changes I HAVE noticed start with hair. The hair on the top of my head has started to regrow where it was thin and receding. (although I DO use minoxidil.) Body hair has diminished greatly, although I still shave my arms. My skin has softened and gotten much smoother. My image at work is definitely changed, and getting two piercings in each ear only added to that. I've let my hair grow long and I currently present as male with a 10" pony tail according to my wife. I just tell people I'm an old hippie and it seems like everyone WANTS to believe that, even though I work with a bunch of macho engineers.

I'm trying to maintain for now, and it was the doctor who suggested the minimum dose of E rather than just going with the A-A. To put me into perspective, I'm 56 and have just passed 30 years at work.

And I just got married. Like I mentioned earlier, a strange path, but wonderful. I've found a match for me that understands and accepts everything. The world may be confused by who or what I am, but I'm comfortable at home. And at this point in life, I still wonder where I'll be in 10 years.

Dani

[Dawn D.]

Ashllynne,

I just read your post and have a question, "8 years" on hormones and still able to present as male? Wow, I would think that there might be some questions tossed about by people you know and others. Have you had any marked changes? I think it is great that you're getting what you need from them. You seem pleased and that is good. Do you get frustrated in having to show your male self all the time? I sure do. For me, GCS (I like to call it Gender Corrective Surgery) will be a part of my transition in the not too distant future (hopefully 2-3 years) and like you, I'm 50. I just can hardly wait to rid myself of this male persona.

Please don't take my response the wrong way. I fully respect your opinion, what works for you, does. You go Girl! I am just truly amazed that after eight years you can still pass as male even at your (my) age. I can see for myself already that it will be difficult for me to do so (I think) in probably another year or so if things keep progressing at the current rate. Another big shift will start this month as I intend to begin laser on my beard. We're each different and we all get a different perspective it seems as to what it is we need and want from this experience.



Dawn

[AngharadD]

Ashllynne,

I just read your post and have a question, "8 years" on hormones and still able to present as male? Wow, I would think that there might be some questions tossed about by people you know and others. Have you had any marked changes? I think it is great that you're getting what you need from them. You seem pleased and that is good. Do you get frustrated in having to show your male self all the time? I sure do. For me, GCS (I like to call it Gender Corrective Surgery) will be a part of my transition in the not too distant future (hopefully 2-3 years) and like you, I'm 50. I just can hardly wait to rid myself of this male persona.

Please don't take my response the wrong way. I fully respect your opinion, what works for you, does. You go Girl! I am just truly amazed that after eight years you can still pass as male even at your (my) age. I can see for myself already that it will be difficult for me to do so (I think) in probably another year or so if things keep progressing at the current rate. Another big shift will start this month as I intend to begin laser on my beard. We're each different and we all get a different perspective it seems as to what it is we need and want from this experience.

Dawn

The thing is, I've met people who did okay with being extremely androgynous (a friend of a friend who started hrt in uni for whom this was the plan - boymode with intermittent girlmode, maybe consider reversing at a later date) and still presenting long-term as male - some just don't particularly feel strongly as either (besides, looking younger is a nice perk ;) ). The same, while many of my friends spent between -6 to 6 (5 for me) months between HRT and jumping full time, there used to be something called the morph technique which might take a year or three to go to full time - although I thought it was better known by people from other generations.

[Ashlynne]

Hi Dawn, thanks for the good questions. I'm no endrochronologist but through research and experience I've found the following to be true. Hormones, by themselves do not make remarkable physical changes at least for older mtf. They do not change facial or bone structure, change the voice or mannerisms, facial hair growth or any of those irritating masculine curses. Although I wish hormones would change all that, passing would then not be an issue and there would be a lot of ecstatic mtf girls.

They have however given me 38b breasts, a little softer skin appearence and redistributed some fat to my hips and thighs but not enough to make a noticable difference to anyone but myself. So yes, it's still very easy for me to pass as male without raising suspicions or questions. Those who are close to me know about the HRT and it does not seem to concern them in the least. As for my breasts, a loose fitting shirt conceals them from the most discerning eyes. And yes it is and has been frustrating my entire life to be a TS, but it's the cross I bear and make the the best of it as I can. Wishing you the best in your journey.

Ashlynne

[Monica]

This thread is very good. I thought I was unique taking estrogens and still living as a man. Obviously there are others. If the information available today would have been available in the late 60’s and early 70’s, I would probably have transitioned then. But today, been 54, the social, career and financial costs outweigh the possible benefits. Lets face it, by the time I would get my life back together I would be an old woman.

Low doses of estrogens are unlikely to turn a 54 years old in a DD Cinderella. But the emotional changes have been very good. Suddenly, the buzzing fluorescent stopped. I thought I would miss it but I do not at all. It is a great time saver to let the other worry about sex. I am also more tolerant and easy going, overall a much nicer person.

After 5 months, I thought I would be the only to notice the physical changes and I am for the most part. I feel my breasts and nipples most of the time but not much more is visible than what was already there. That was expected. What was not is that the fat seems to relocate from the waist to the right places. The jeans fit better without extra padding. No one said anything other than my massage therapist that found that my legs and gluteus felt different.

Time will tell, but so far I am happy. But I am wondering if it is addictive.

Monica

[melissaK]

. Suddenly, the buzzing fluorescent stopped. I thought I would miss it but I do not at all. But I am wondering if it is addictive. Monica

I have to ask what you mean by "buzzing flourescent." Are you being literal or figurative? (If you are being literal - I "hear" a high pitched whine or buzz and have a diagnosis of "non-specific tinnitis." Is this what you are referring to? I note that higher doses of E make it go away for me. I've never asked a Dr. about it, and never found any reports about this.)

As for addicting - seems pretty much so. I quit after 3 months. It almost hurt and I wanted to be back on E very badly. Haven't tried quitting again.

hugs,
'lissa

[Monica]

It is figurative. I meant that I used to think about intercourse way too often. I don't anymore. It is very liberating.

Monica

[natasha]

I met with my theripist today, who told me she is recommending hormones to the dr.. My appointment is later this month. We both discussed that, at the moment my course is to continue to present as male, to which she fully understood and agreed that this is acceptable.

I will shortly begin down the road that I knew I was supposed to travel. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and insight. I will give updates as to how well it is all working once I get started. Hopefully, this thread has also helped others as much as it has me!!!!

[Empress Lainie]

This thread is very good. I thought I was unique taking estrogens and still living as a man. Obviously there are others. If the information available today would have been available in the late 60’s and early 70’s, I would probably have transitioned then. But today, been 54, the social, career and financial costs outweigh the possible benefits. Lets face it, by the time I would get my life back together I would be an old woman.

Low doses of estrogens are unlikely to turn a 54 years old in a DD Cinderella. But the emotional changes have been very good. Suddenly, the buzzing fluorescent stopped. I thought I would miss it but I do not at all. It is a great time saver to let the other worry about sex. I am also more tolerant and easy going, overall a much nicer person.

After 5 months, I thought I would be the only to notice the physical changes and I am for the most part. I feel my breasts and nipples most of the time but not much more is visible than what was already there. That was expected. What was not is that the fat seems to relocate from the waist to the right places. The jeans fit better without extra padding. No one said anything other than my massage therapist that found that my legs and gluteus felt different.

Time will tell, but so far I am happy. But I am wondering if it is addictive.

Monica

Never too late, Monica, I began 24/7 at 72. But didn't have any difficulties re job, kids, wife, friends etc. And don't ever call me OLD, I can outdance any 20 or 30 yr old I have danced with, 5 hours straight. Attached my 73rd birthday.

[PaulaPts]

Amber is exactly right. Oral drugs also have to have a much higher dose since absorbing in the digestive tract is not a efficient as under the tongue, using a patch or injection. High doses of estrogen, especially orally, does have a much higher risk of clots when compared to the patch.

[Monica]

Never too late, Monica, I began 24/7 at 72. But didn't have any difficulties re job, kids, wife, friends etc. And don't ever call me OLD, I can outdance any 20 or 30 yr old I have danced with, 5 hours straight. Attached my 73rd birthday.


Thanks for the encouragement, I found I have reached a good balance and I am happy. The hormones helped tremendously. In many ways it is a gift to be able to be both. But who knows what the future will be.

You really don't look your age. I really don't think we are old, in my case I did 2 triathlons and a marathon in the last 12 months. But to tell the truth, it is the only way I found to control my weight.

Monica

[Anna the Dub]

Well I have just ordered some mones off the net Estrodot patches and Cyproterone tablets (blockers) will be interesting to see how long I take them and be passible as male, I have only recently identified myself as ts, but as I am not yet out to most people that know me i guess i am self medding with the aim of eventually having no choice but to tell them.

Be careful on them. I was only on them for a month when I got a DVT. It was exceptionally nasty, was hospitalised for a week, my leg ballooned and turned purple, and I couldn't walk properly for about 6 weeks. I have never known pain like it, and wouldn't wish it on anyone. The Doctors told me I could no longer take oestrogen orally and no cyproterone under any circumstances. Naturally I was devastated. However, I am now on patches and to sort out the resurgent testosterone I had an orchiedectomy. This all happened 10 years ago. I have been on patches all that time and still haven't transitioned yet (lost my way a bit) so I still present as a man. Unfortunately my hair is a bit thin and because I have psoriasis on my scalp, I have to keep it very short or it really flares up, so people generally don't mistake me for female. My face has feminised quite a lot and my body shape is now very female (boobs and bum), so much so that when I just wear a top, my boobs are really noticeable, eventhough I am only an A cup. It's become difficult to walk around without a jacket in the Summer as I get an awful lot of weird looks from passersby, makes me very self conscious. At work everyone knows about me, and are mainly very supportive. Well, most are very supportive (especially the women) and the ones that aren't just don't say anything at all. HR in my company told me that if I get any problems at all to go straight to them and they will throw the book at the culprit. I suppose I don't really look all that much like a male any more, but because of my short hair, people don't really notice anything amiss (if I have a jacket on, of course) and probably just assume that I am a soft featured male. Basically they see short hair, they assume male, so they see a male. I am undergoing ongoing electrolysis, so until all my facial hair is gone (or in its final stages) I feel I will have to wait for my transition. I think it would be extremely difficult to present as female with 2 days beard growth.

[Genifer Teal]

My advice - don't self medicate - herbals or otherwise.

My experience - after 3 months on estrodiol injections (bi weekly) I had enough growth to be noticable under a T-shirt. My nipples doubled in size almost immediately. A lump started forming about the size of my areola. This lump was becoming noticable even to someone who wouldn't suspect why. Those who really know me could have called it at 2 months. I was not trying to hide it. If I was just wearing a t shirt, it was noticable. I certainly could have hid it for a while, but 3 months is about the point of no return. I was all in favor of the other changes. I was just not ready for boobs. :-( I still take avodart which for the most part keeps my hair in place.

Gen

[shirley1]

Be careful on them. I was only on them for a month when I got a DVT. It was exceptionally nasty, was hospitalised for a week, my leg ballooned and turned purple, and I couldn't walk properly for about 6 weeks. I have never known pain like it, and wouldn't wish it on anyone. The Doctors told me I could no longer take oestrogen orally and no cyproterone under any circumstances. Naturally I was devastated. However, I am now on patches and to sort out the resurgent testosterone I had an orchiedectomy. This all happened 10 years ago. I have been on patches all that time and still haven't transitioned yet (lost my way a bit) so I still present as a man. Unfortunately my hair is a bit thin and because I have psoriasis on my scalp, I have to keep it very short or it really flares up, so people generally don't mistake me for female. My face has feminised quite a lot and my body shape is now very female (boobs and bum), so much so that when I just wear a top, my boobs are really noticeable, eventhough I am only an A cup. It's become difficult to walk around without a jacket in the Summer as I get an awful lot of weird looks from passersby, makes me very self conscious. At work everyone knows about me, and are mainly very supportive. Well, most are very supportive (especially the women) and the ones that aren't just don't say anything at all. HR in my company told me that if I get any problems at all to go straight to them and they will throw the book at the culprit. I suppose I don't really look all that much like a male any more, but because of my short hair, people don't really notice anything amiss (if I have a jacket on, of course) and probably just assume that I am a soft featured male. Basically they see short hair, they assume male, so they see a male. I am undergoing ongoing electrolysis, so until all my facial hair is gone (or in its final stages) I feel I will have to wait for my transition. I think it would be extremely difficult to present as female with 2 days beard growth.

Yeh I am not planning on taking them regualary at the moment, should have got for spironalactone or dutas really, as I have heard andrucur can have quite heavy side effects. I think I am safe with the patches though, so will just take them for the time being.

Coincidently I too live in Brum, Moseley do you know it ?

Anyway only been on patches 4 days so far just applied second one, so its early days, I have a feeling my T will hold up quite well without blockers though as I have a high sex drive !

[Anna the Dub]

Yeh I am not planning on taking them regualary at the moment, should have got for spironalactone or dutas really, as I have heard andrucur can have quite heavy side effects. I think I am safe with the patches though, so will just take them for the time being.

Coincidently I too live in Brum, Moseley do you know it ?

Anyway only been on patches 4 days so far just applied second one, so its early days, I have a feeling my T will hold up quite well without blockers though as I have a high sex drive !

I do, I am in Sandwell, not far from West Brom.

[natasha]

My consultation appointment got forwarded a little:). I met with the dr. and after we spoke for a while he told me that I need to schedule anothor appt. for a physical and then he would be prescribing hormones for me. We spoke of different forms and levels, along with the possibility of spiro. As I opened this with, I still intend to present as male. I told the dr of my wishes, to which he informed me that many of his patients to present as male and that I am not the only one. We will be starting with low levels of premarin and only increasing them to make me feel "proper" as opposed to "developing" a feminzied body. I am soooooooo looking forward to that appointment. Hope this helps someone out there!!!!:) I did tell him though, that if I do win the lottery the game plan may change a little, hehehehehe

[Jean Marie]

I have now been on self medicated female hormone therapy for almost 4 mnonths now, [ having blood work done thru independant lab] currently taking 4mg estrofem [under tongue] 200mg spiro, 10mg provera, changes slow and very slight, emotionally sense some calming, small amount of monthly mood swing, breasts pretty sore, urination comes much easier. other boy unctions working although somewhat subdued.

[toridixon]

I enjoyed reading all of your responses. I am new to this site and have also just started my hormones. I really appreciate reading about what is to come. I know its a long road but I am ready for the adventure. Thanks again.

[Melissa A.]

when my shrink gave me the OK to take hormones I was also told to do my real life test IE:- live full time has Marissa no if and or buts 24/7/365.
how can you all go on hrt first and then later conduct your real life test ??? is it not the same standard everywhere ? is that not cheating ...no fair i am telling
if i had to do that you all should too :tongueout

I don't know your circumstances, maybe your therapist felt this was important in your case. I can tell you that the Standards of Care are not written in concrete. In fact, they are now more flexible than they have ever been. Also, the RLT is only a requirement for GRS (gender reassignment surgery). That has always been the case. We all live under different circumstances. HRT is an important and crucial step that should not be taken lightly, But to force someone to live full time from the get go wouldn't be fair, and is impossible in some cases. There is no time-line for going full time, and if one wants to, they can put it off almost as long as they need to. This is one reason I don't reccomend what some girls do-get their ok from the therapist, then never see him/her again, or rarely. Therapy is an important part of the process, in my opinion. We go thru alot of changes, ups and downs, and fears. It's a big deal, and issues are bound to come up, and need to be addressed.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[joanne2b]

Hi Natasha

Have been on hormones for about 18 months off and on but now taking in ernest, patch (100) for a boost gel as a maintenance dose and have started on ant-androgen recently the big decision has been made, all the way why waste any more time, however i still present myself as male in public but for how long i dont know. My wife who is aware of my CD noted a couple of weeks ago that my breasts were growing and found my patches, disapproval and tension, but i can not stop the inevitable and what i have yearned for for 50 yrs..
on the upside shopping the other day my wife sent me to rummage through rails of sale items, dresses, skirts etc to see if there was anything that 'she' might like, nervous at first i soon got into my most female self and had a really good time choosing, it felt so natural. Fortunatly my wife and i are both size 14 tops etc but i am now 10-12 skirts with a 36a bust in bra and she a 12-14. How long will i continue to step out as male?? how much my wife's acceptance of my femme desire will dictate, if she accepts my changing then there nothing to hold me back, the inevitable will happen sooner rather than later, and more shopping!!!!:):)

[morgan pure]

God Bless you, Joanne. You'll need it. What a trip you're on. Your wife sounds fantastic. Buy her stuff! Make her dinner.
M

[morgan pure]

It just occurred to me that there are a bunch of us who will never pass. Our physiolgy is just unalterable without surgery. I', 6'3". It ain't gonna happen. Shoes are insane-either drag queen stillettos or frumpy Magdesians.

BUT! Once I was entering Limelight on a comp, and a crass doorman explaining the scene to someone on line referred to me a a "guy in a dress." I was very skinny then. I said, "But don't I look good?" He replied, "Yes you do, you look very good."

Our society needs another sex. Some of us are neither gay men nor full transitionists. We're in between.

Can I get away with shaving m legs? I've noticed several straight guys with no leg hair. My estranged wife says that I can't.

I love my hormones. I wish I could afford a higher dose.

Someone said that progesterone was important for breast development. Is this so?

[Melissa A.]

I'll try to answer two questions, although I'm still real early in my transition, and learning, myself.

Synthetic Estrogin, by all known accounts, is just as effective as premarin. And Melissa is right. The patch does reduce the risk of blood clots, stroke, and wear and tear on your liver. It's not brandy-new, but relatively so.

Morgan, the jury is still out on progesterone. Most of the evidence right now is anecdotal. Some say it has done wonders for their breast growth. Others, not so much. Some docs say progesterone use should not begin until at least a year on traditional HRT, to give the breasts time to develope naturally, until the "P" is used to add fat to them. I have also heard of some health risks of progesterone, the same as Estrogen(blood clots, stroke). But as with much of this area, there are really no double blind clinical trials, and a scarce amount of info on t-girls who have been around for a while. In other words, while there's alot we do know, we are a bunch of guinea pigs, still! The best we can do for ourselves is try to get educated, talk to our doctors and endocrinologists, and tread carefully.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Empress Lainie]

Morgan, I know a 6"4'' tgirl and she is female except at work. But she has had several facial surgeries no voice work, and she is 63. She has been trans for 15 years.

She says sometimes she gets funny looks but she doesn't care.

[morgan51]

been on e and avodart for 8 months now love the progress and am experiencing slow but sure changes talked with the doctor about this and getting blood wok done to monitor everything. Morgan

[morgan pure]

Thank you Melissa. I don't think any of us are treading carefully.
I just went back to work after 2 months of hormones. I'm so much calmer and clearer. I'm utterly "in the moment," as we used to say, and perfectly alert.
I'm not on estrogen blockers per se, but do take herbs touted as such.

[gracerebecka]

I've just read this this entire post great to see so many people I can relate to. Over 50 6'4''.I have thought of starting hrt self medicated style. Was this close to ordering them on the internet but lost connection took it as sign. Maybe this is a new one. I would love the changes to both mind and body and its great to hear from girls who live with the reality of not passing
Grace

[natasha]

Well I'm starting down the road. Dr. prescribed Divigel and spiro. Its been a little over a week, and havent noticed any changes other than I feel set free. We will see how things progress.:battingeyelashes:

[Rachaelgirl39]

I have been on hrt for 7 months and have def noticed changes. I am almost a b cup now, face has gotten softer and have a more fem face now. I work 2 jobs both in hotels. in my main one I am totally in male mode but I have long hair and put it in a bun. I have been called maam a couple of times there. But my other one I totally wear my hair girl style in a ponytail no make up and wear a uniform. OMG I get called maam and sweetie all the time and have considered coming out at that job. Thank god the boss and other co-workers are very accepting. I'm sure they know because they were stading right there when customers say thank you maam to me.

[morgan pure]

Today at work I was extremely calm (and even loving) in what would have formerly been a tense situation where my temper would need control. I noticed one of my girl co-workers observing me closely. I said to myself, "Thank God for the hormones," and had fun instead of angst.
M

[natasha]

A little over a month now. Breast a little tender here and there. Most definatley my mindset is off the charts for the better. Compared to how i felt before as to how i feel now, you would have to pry my prescriptions out of my hands!!!!!! No, noticable physical changes that I can see.

[MJ]

I don't know your circumstances, maybe your therapist felt this was important in your case. I can tell you that the Standards of Care are not written in concrete. In fact, they are now more flexible than they have ever been. Also, the RLT is only a requirement for GRS (gender reassignment surgery). That has always been the case. We all live under different circumstances. HRT is an important and crucial step that should not be taken lightly, But to force someone to live full time from the get go wouldn't be fair, and is impossible in some cases. There is no time-line for going full time, and if one wants to, they can put it off almost as long as they need to. This is one reason I don't reccomend what some girls do-get their ok from the therapist, then never see him/her again, or rarely. Therapy is an important part of the process, in my opinion. We go thru alot of changes, ups and downs, and fears. It's a big deal, and issues are bound to come up, and need to be addressed.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

Hi Melissa,
your 100% right i am going to have (gender reassignment surgery ) that was the reason for rapid Real life test. i'm done now got my letter so i hope to finnish the job soon.

here is a very good question *** WHY do you need hormones *** after all you feel like woman anyhow and if like me you start late in life why bother .
i just came off mine last week and god what a roller coaster ride through hell this is it sure makes me think twice about going back on them thats for sure

[morgan pure]

Speaking for those of us who are taking hormones and have no dreams of transitioning. Feminizing, physically and emotionally, is just something we have to do.

To tell you the truth-there're many perks of presenting as a male in many situations. I like to be able to do both. I have been treated as a girl, and been abused as a girl (when I was young and a very pretty drag queen), and really cherished those experiences that were from a woman's perspective.

I'm really neither a girl nor a boy, but mostly girl. Is it only esthetic? Girls are allowed to be prettier?
M

[natasha]

Wow, over 5,000 views and 3 pages of comments!!!! Well anyway, im still on the path of taking hormones and presenting as "I am supposed to be". I can't really say I "feel" any different at almost 2 months into this but, I am so much more calm and level headed that some of those around me are scratching their head as to why I don't fly off the handle anymore.

Currently, I am in a really tense atmosphere at work that has been ongoing for almost 5 years (yeah, I'm dedicated to my job beyond what is normal). In fact this situation is what has brought Natasha to the surface, finally. The regime prescribed has made me deal with my neysayers in a manner that totally confuses them, because they don't know how to get under my skin anymore. Instead of lashing back now I calmly respond and manage the matter as a true professional. They have gone as far as posting on local "blogs" many items that would make many lash out in anger. :love:

As far as physical changes so far, other than tender nipples I havent really noticed anything.

Sorry for the ramble, a couple glasses of wine will do that :)

[Scotty]

Speaking for those of us who are taking hormones and have no dreams of transitioning. Feminizing, physically and emotionally, is just something we have to do.

To tell you the truth-there're many perks of presenting as a male in many situations. I like to be able to do both. I have been treated as a girl, and been abused as a girl (when I was young and a very pretty drag queen), and really cherished those experiences that were from a woman's perspective.

I'm really neither a girl nor a boy, but mostly girl. Is it only esthetic? Girls are allowed to be prettier?
M

Amen.

I posted elsewhere that I started on the patch, no more daily 2mg pill but I am on the 4mg per day patch - and I like it, while not on a T-blocker I am back to tender nipples and my right breast is almost cupped like my left is....they are growing.

But I present as a male except to myself when I'm comfortable...

Two spirits :)

[Steph Butterfield]

I'm into my 21st month of hormones, had 9 laser sessions and throat surgery, but despite presenting as female, clothes, make up, perfume etc, I still get referred to by folks as sir, mate, pal etc. I still await a total stranger referring to me as Miss or madam, guess I'll have a long wait.


Steph

[Miss Tessa]

I presented as something kind of androgynous-to-male at times while in the beggining of my hormones.

Then I took about 8 months off hormones and lived as a female and then got my hormones on track again.


As a male on female hormones I was always very self conscious about titties showing thru T shirts especially when a seatbelt was on or something

[TerryTerri]

To ALL who have posted, ThankYou, Thank You, Thank You.
Only recently I started considering the possibility of taking hormones, without presenting female, and without specifics plans to ever present as female (full-time). Wife, kids, age (48), financial situation (kids!!!), etc. etc. Make is seem impossible at this point in time that I will ever be able to actually transition, if I do decide to take that step someday. However, the more I discover about myself, the more frustrated I become with not being able to do anything because my desire grows stronger slowly but surely.
Anyway, my only long-term concern is that I live in a HOT climate, the average high temp is above 100 for about 5 months a year. We usually get several weeks of 110+ weather. In those higher temps, it is hard to wear multiple layers to 'hide' things. I've been looking for female t-shirts with built in shelf bras that DO NOT have the strap adjust thingies in the back. If anything would work in the hot climate here it would be that. Anyway, I digress.
I don't feel so crazy now. My only real problem right now is that the closest counselor that deals with gender issues is about 200 miles away from me. Clandestinaly (spelling?) finding the time, gas money, etc to go see the counselor might prove difficult. My wife is unsupportive.
Anyway, enough rambling for me for now. Thanks again All. I appreciate you.

BTW, I've decide to get my nipples pierced BEFORE I go on hormones. If I'm going to have any boobs (I've wanted boobs for as long as I can remember), I want them pierced and I figure it's gonna hurt a lot less if I get it done now. lol.
I also really really want the female waist hip curve thing. Ohh Laa Laa!!!
I'm a little large to pass as female. Not terribly, I'm 5' 9" and have normal male broader shoulders. Anyway, I was observing girls and their female appearences one day, I doubt I'm the only one who does that, and I spotted a gal who was about as tall as I AND she had fairly broad shoudlers for a girl. She was a pretty good lookin' girl too. It was the waist hips thing that made ALL the difference. I have since looked around and noticed that the slinder waist with broader hips is a big female attractive characteristic. That is one of the bigger reason I want to go on hormones. I want to look female pretty.
Anyway, starting to digress off the thread topic. Sorry.

[MarcieM]

Wow, I'm more excited now after reading this, about getting some hormones asap. What do y'all recommend the safest...that I should start with?

[Rachel A V]

Wow, I'm more excited now after reading this, about getting some hormones asap. What do y'all recommend the safest...that I should start with?

My advice would be, get a letter of recomendation from a therapist and have an MD prescribe hormones for you, if you want safe. Otherwise my regimen of estrodiol, medroxyprogesterone, and spiro which I have been on for almost four years has done wonders for me.

[Miss Tessa]

I say do it if it's comfortable for you to present male at times.

I definitely did it.
There have been times where I looked like just a odd feminine male into underground music or like a gangster thug and I had my titties poppin' out underneat my shirt before full time living.

I did not always feel comfortable everyplace in femme mode.I had to build up alot of courage....

....And break down many more barriers.

[noeleena]

hi...Kimberley.. i was wondering . why you were told not to take premarin. strange i am 61 now been on prem over 4 years. . yes s r s as well ........yes i did my home work well before going on h r t . i would say this before any ones goes on hormons get your blood tests done . you need a base count done so you can check how ...your ..body is working or not . most important this . to be done . remember what works for me ...may ...not work for every one . ..if ..has been the case . my friend was on h r t ... it was not right for her she went off the deep end . now she has come off . thank goodness .may be later she will be able to have some other h r t .... this just shows it does not work in all cases . my main point is are you ready ...psychologically...mentalally...emotionally ...if not then dont think being on h r t will fix things . or having s r s ... it helps . just does not fix things ..in some cases it makes things worse ... big time. so allways make sure you know what you are getting your self in to ....i know i have been through it all. & it can be hell... on the other side it can be so neat. as you find your self ....the real you ... ...noeleena...

[T Sara Lynn]

This thread certainly struck a nerve with me! I'm relatively new here, and am still learning this forum, making posts here and there, wanting to be heard. I didn't say "need to be heard", just "wanting".

I've been on HRT for 9 months now. I self medicate. I do get blood work. I am seeing a therapist. I do not intend to go full time. Am I TS? Know what? I don't need a label, I'm me. I'm a t-girl who "presents" as a male when I have to, but I am a girl all the time. I really don't have concerns over which branch of the broader TG community that I fit into. It's all a matter of degree, anyway.

Why did I decide to start HRT? I needed to. I didn't need a therapist to tell me that, either. I feel more comfortable and complete now that my body is changing. The clothes were never enough. I had to be closer to being complete, and seeing curves and breasts - on me - delights me, and makes me very happy.

I should tell you all what changes I've seen. Physically, there's the softening of my skin, there's been fat redistribution, my face is a little rounder, I'm losing muscle mass, I'm a solid A cup (and still growing, but I think I'm about done there), and my body hair is lightening and more sparse. The big change is my demeanor. I've never been overtly male - aggressive, boisterous, any of that. Now, I'm even calmer! I think before I react, I'm not prone to quick temper, and I'm more open to suggestion. I feel very feminine, constantly in touch with who I am. As for sexual pressure, well - that's gone, and as I said elsewhere I don't miss that one bit.

So, that was my cent and a half. I hope it was in some way meaningful.

Bye-bye for now!!

~~~~Sara Lynn

[MarcieM]

I've been on HRT for 9 months now. I self medicate.
Could you please let me know what you take?

[T Sara Lynn]

I can, Marcie. I take Estrofem (orally, dissolved under my tongue) 6 MG, and Spironolactone, 200 MG (split dose) daily. I have to say I'm not condoning this - you should get blood work regularly.

[morgan pure]

My favorite favorite favorite post.

Terry Terry, bless you, go for it. Wear big T-shirts. Everyone else does. And a lot of us older guys have man-tits.

I got the patch because I read that the liver doesn't handle hormones well. I do not get blod work done, but am thinking of it. My doctor is a girl and I think will go along. She's very nice.

I am so happy. Everytime I remember that I'm doing this I smile. When I see my little tits in the mirror when I'm wearing my favorite new dress I dance. Hormones put my temperament and my self in sinc.

Can I promote a party here? November 15th Mother.nyc is having a Click and Drag night downtown NY. It is a fetish night that celebrates gender-disfunctionalists. I'm really tempted to do a dress, although make up on this wrinkled face is not fashionable.

Morgan