Outed at Work Again

[Amy Hepker]

I did post to a thread the other day about a girl checking to see if I had a Bra on at work when we were standing around waiting for our checks. Well, she did feel the Bra and was telling everyone about it, I am pretty sure the whole plant knows now.

You know what??? Nobody is treating me any different than they did before. They were all checking me out as I am not only grown larger Breasts, but I was wearing a slightly padded Bra. I had guys looking at me and asking me if I was wearing a Bra, I just told them I am not Gay and I am worried about those of them that have been checking my breasts out.

Well, that pretty much stopped that, now I am sure everyone knows that I am wearing a Bra. If they ask me though I will tell them, Yes I am wearing a Bra, but I have to because my breasts hurt when I drive a fork truck without one, because they swing and pull so much. They do not need to know if the Bra is padded or not, and it really is none of their business anyway.

I did wear my Bra again today and a tight T-shirt to show off my breasts. I don't care what they think.

[CharleneT]

Very courageous and intelligent replies ! It is too bad about the busy body lady, but since everyone seems to just accept you - no real harm done !

Charlene

[kay2]

Background: I sometimes wear feminine items, nail polish, and jewelry. I never wear a wig or use forms.

A woman recently asked me "Are those knee-highs, or are you actually wearing pantyhose?" To me her tone and wording seemed to imply that knee-highs are not much different from guy socks, but wearing pantyhose would be strange. I replied in a polite way "Would you please tell me about the underwear you are wearing?"

She got the point, and shifted to a more conversational and friendly tone. We talked pleasantly for a couple of minutes about clothing issues.

When one woman asked loudly, "Why are you wearing a skirt?," I asked back while smiling, "Why are you wearing pants?" I also sometimes answer "Because it's pretty."

I have found on multiple occasions that asking back a similarly "rude" question, but in a pleasant way, is highly effective. It might not change the other person's opinion of me, but they typically realize the double standard.

The one thing I try to avoid is defending myself. First, I am not doing anything that needs defending, and second, sounding defensive, or giving excuses, leaves the door open to a debate.

I might sound like someone that enjoys these situations - but actually I don't; though I don't mind them too much. I have also learned to ignore (to some extent) the odd looks and whispered asides. However, I love the positive comments. A woman recently approached me while I was wearing a skirt, hose, flats, and had on nail polish, and said, with shock in her voice, "You actually look fantastic!!" The use of the word "actually" kind of said it all.

[KateSpade83]

Well, if you explain to them that you have male boob disorder due to bad hormones or such they they will accept you. ... They should!

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah Amy things do get to a point where it is like "F-it"

At work, if people know you for your personality, they aren't going to care what you wear.

A lot of people at work know I am CD, I mean I have not confirmed it to but a few but they all know. No one cares about my shaved legs, hair, eyebrows...

Only reason I don't go to work more femmy is cause i don't want to raise a stink with the boss.
I might start doing light makeup though, except it is hot where I work and it might mely.

[kay2]

Well, if you explain to them that you have male boob disorder due to bad hormones or such they they will accept you. ... They should!

My concern about using such an excuse is that it buys into the reasoning that:

1) they have the right to question you about your clothing, and

2) it would be "wrong" if you wore a bra for any reason other than medical necessity.

[mattie]

Wow, you guys are so brave compared to me. I can't imagine going into work wearing nail polish (yet). Of course it doesn't help that I work in a very conservative and male-dominated place at the moment - these guys would likely freak out completely if they knew.

I'd love it if one day I could work in a place where I felt comfortable being a little less "male" all the time. But I fear this will be a ways off :(

I really respect you guys that have the courage to just be yourselves in public though. I hope to get to that point, but you guys really inspire courage.

[Samantha43]

Good for you Amy! You handled that well.

[JenniferR771]

I can't believe how rude some people are. You didn't ask about her underwear. Way to go, Amy. They will get used to it and respect you more. A positive attitude and friendly manner will take you far.:thumbsup:

[Ciara]

Amy,

Way to conduct yourself in the workplace. It's great to see a sister follwing her heart and doing what feels right. Girl Power!!!!

Hearing your story gives me hope that one day I can present as Ciara at work.

You Rock!!!

[paulaN]

Way to go Amy. Answering a question with a question always puts the other person on the defence. Do that politely and it's win win for the cd. (most times).

[stevie b]

Well done, I could never think quick enough for a good reply. I do waer female underwear to work but you cannot notice it under the drab. I also wear clear nail vanish, this hasn't raised any questions yet, mind you I do not flash them about.
I worked with a guy when I was a paramedic who was a CD. He never knew I was also one, but might have guessed as I asked him a lot of questions about his hairless arms etc. He was a lot further on e than me. During a difficult relationship breakup his partner told hin she would tell all his work mates. This forced him to come out, which he found scarey as it was such a male enviroment. He took some good humoured digs but in a few days it settled and life went on.
I still need alot of courage:drink:

[Amy Hepker]

Today I was approached by my Female boss, and she said to me, "Enquiring minds want to know 2 questions, first are you wearing a Bra and second are you taking hormones." I looked at her and said "I take the fifth." She said, "well, that answers that." I told her, "I had been taking steroids and I also heard that males sometimes grow them when they get older." She then could understand why I would wear a Bra.

Again to day I have not had any real problem, there is one guy out of the whole plant that calls me Bra Man. It does not bother me and I don't care. I am not embarassed, I AM PROUD!!!

People at work in general are treating me like they always have.

[Emily Anderson]

Sounds like you're quite into provocation. I hope it works out for you.

[CD Susan]

Good for you Amy! It is your life and it is your body. You can do whatever you want with these two things. If the closed minded bigots of this world don't like it then they can just go to h___! It's thier problem not yours!

[DanaR]

I once had a female manager ask me about my hair, which was fairly long (below my shoulders). I just asked her, does it really matter, and she said "no".

[Maria2222]

Hi Amy,
You're doing what you want and I think it's great. I'm behind you all the way.

[Angie G]

You go girl. :hugs:
Angie

[Pattie O]

I love wearing lingerie at work but Id die if I was found out !Or would I??

[Kimberly Marie]

Way to go Amy......well yesturday not knowing I forgot to take the polish off my nails before work and I did not notice until lunch. To my suprise no one said anything.....hehe......:)

[whitelace]

Hi Amy,
You are a brave sole. when a girl stands up for herslf ( like you do) you make us all proud to be as brave as you

btw you tell that guy that is obviously hasseling you ( calling you bra man )

that you've got 10,000 girl friends who will just kick his ass.

or scratch his eyes out.....love ....lacie:battingeyelashes:

[Empress Lainie]

Good for you Amy, you are an inspiration. When I started wearing wigs 8 years ago at work, and I was asked about, I said I just can't stand being bald, and that was that. Some of the middle school kids would ask me where I got it, or even say "I like your wig", so I never had a problem with them.

My own students always wanted to try it on, so I let them, and some days when it was just too hot I would just take it off and teach in my very very thin long red hair (top bald).

And the two complainants that got me fired listed as one of their complaints that I wore a wig.

[Karenon67]

I replied in a polite way "Would you please tell me about the underwear you are wearing?"

I love this answer. It's simply perfect.

There is definitely a double standard out there. People for some odd reason think it's okay to ask intrusive, rude questions of others that they wouldn't dream of wanting to answer themselves. This phenomenon is what I call "a lack of a life." They need to get one. Because unless you're a shoplifter and it's a cop asking, the type of underwear you've got on is nobody else's business.

(Sigh). Some day (probably when I'm long dead and gone), a person will be judged by who they are on the inside and how they conduct themselves, not by what color they are, what religion they are, what clothes they're wearing, what gender they are, what their sexual preference is, how much money they make (or don't make), etc.

Oh, and as for the guy who keeps staring at your breasts . . . . he's probably a guy with an optic impairment . . . i.e. the eyes just can't seem to move up from the chest . . . . I used to work with a guy like that. One day, I finally got sick of it, tapped him on the bottom of the chin, and said, "My face is up here."

Honestly, when a CD gets breasts (either through forms or hormones), she needs to be prepared for some ogling by guys. There are guys who stare at breasts . . . . regardless of who's got them. And I don't think that will ever change. We GG's have been putting up with it for millenia. Hmmm . . . . I wonder if we could invent a "shock collar" type system to retrain the more neanderthal ones who really become rude and obnoxious about it. :devil:

[pamela_a]

Amy, great for you, I applaud your courage and confidence, I also love your responses and your attitude. I've been wearing all female clothing (including a bra and nylons) to work for a couple of years now. I'm lucky that no one has either said anything or treated me any differently than before.


I wonder if we could invent a "shock collar" type system to retrain the more neanderthal ones who really become rude and obnoxious about it. :devil:Karen. in all honesty do you really think this type is trainable or even worth the effort? We should just ship them all back to the caves they crawled out of and leave them there.

-Paula-

[Amy Hepker]

Thank You for all the kind words. I am proud to be out at work and showing off my breasts. I am the talk of the plant. I am greeted a lot better by many of the people and ridiculed by a few. I don't care what they say as long as I can be me and show off my breasts. I have let people know that I am NOT Gay and I have a Girlfriend that I am living with. Some of the girls at work are very envious of my breasts, and others act like they are welcoming me to their world. As far as the guys go,

I really don't care what they say, the ones I worry about are the ones who sit back and stare without saying anything. I am trying to be aware of my surroundings at all times, because you just never know even at work, someone may put a knife in your back, literally!

Down here in Florida we now have the take your gun to work law also, so I have to be careful not to catch a bullet. You just never know these days what might happen. I am hoping that people will come around to our way of thinking and let others live the way they want.

You just never know when some yahoo, may think they can stop all of us CDers with one bullet. I just hope that if anything happens to any one of us that we can all stand together to stop this hipocrit way of thinking.

Keep dressing and come out of the closet, they can't get us all.