Ma am, i mean sir....can others subconsciously read our CD'ness

[girl_in_pantyhose]

Ok, this has been happening to me more and more. First off I must tell you I really don't pull being a woman off all that well.
But when I am shopping and the cashier is multi tasking I often get called miss or ma'am. It happened to me again today. I was checking out and she glanced up and then back down to the items at hand and said, "Ma' am, you are going to need a, I mean sir, a bulb for that lamp."

It makes me wonder if this has anything to do with the 6th sense, my ponytail, or my paranoia. If it happen once or twice i would write it off but now it is getting to the point where i have to wonder! what do you think?

[Alan]

I think it's more people don't want to make a mistake and are really worried someone will take offense.

I get the same thing -- in the same order -- sometimes.

[Empress Lainie]

I had it happen more before my transition than I have since. In fact I can't remember being called Sir at all except by someone who knew me before, and once I corrected them (nicely) there was no repetition.

Although in my case it isn't CD-ness, since I am now a woman.

[Joanne f]

There are people about who it is difficult some times to know what gender they are and i am sure that there are also some others who try and be polite to them by trying to get the right title for them.
You are so lucky as you have long hair so people may glance at you and mistake you some times for the opposite gender, where as i have very little hair and plucked eye brows so they stair at me and think , what the hell is that :eek:



joanne

[kimmy p]

Happened to me earlier this week. I was out to dinner with my wife and the waiter wanted to know if he could help us "ladies". Of course he could have been confused by the fact that I wear earrings constantly and was dressed in a bright pink v-neck T-shirt and women's jeans "stealth crossdressing on bright gurl here named it". Unfortunately I get more confusion when I'm not trying to present than when I go full out. Bummer.

[Dalece]

I have been called Maam several times and have not been called sir.

[pamela_a]

I think some of it may be the "mixed" signals we send out. Not quite female but not completely male either. I've been called miss or ma'am on a number of occasions when not "dressed to the nines" and it always leaves me with a wonderful feeling. Unfortunately the downer is when someone calls me sir without even pausing.

-Paula-

[RobertaFermina]

Have you ever (while not drunk) realized you had driven your car for 10 minutes without consciously noticing where you were driving (perhaps chatting on the cell, or with your passenger) ?

Have you ever been so "in the zone" that you didn't (and didn't have to) pay conscious attention to every detail?

"In the zone" the mind is open to cues at all levels, and it is no fluke if your personal rhythm and temperament had an amplified influence on some "zoned" person's perception of your gender.

Imagine being a store-clerk or servant who does the same job day-in and out. They may develop an unconscious competence that lets them (if they want) allow their consciousness to work on more subtle levels of perception.

.....female intuition...?


:rose: Ramblin Roberta :rose:

[Sophie_C]

Sure, but I see it as the fact that I can't completely mask my 'femme' side, no matter how hard I try.

Main difference is that I'm usually presumed to just be gay than a CD. Anyone else experience this?

It's become so common I'm just used to it and joke about it.

[Jodi Lynn]

I am allways getting that on the phone. Just a few minutes ago my son's doctor call and said "Hello my wife's name". It has also happened to me a few time in the store, makes me fell great when it happens.

[Sarah Doepner]

I rarely get referred to as Ma'am or one of the ladies when I'm dressed, so leave it to say that it has never happened when not dressed en femme. Oh well, it hasn't stopped me, but it would encourage me a heck of a lot if it did.

[Alex!]

Not even someone who is blind will mistake me for female. I would be mortified if I was.

[Nicki B]

I think it's much more likely that you're sending out signals (in the way you move, stand, etc) that you're not aware of..

[TommiTN]

Not even someone who is blind will mistake me for female. I would be mortified if I was.

If I saw you on the street I would take you for being female. My eyesight isn't the best, but I'm sure not blind. You're very pretty!

[Jonianne]

Yes, it has happened quite a few times exactly as you said, a clerk multi-tasking and out of the corner of her eye saying yes ma'am and then quickly correcting with a sir.
Sure makes me feel good, like I'm projecting something.

[Emily Anderson]

Cashiers are so bored, and meet so many people in a day that they randomly say Sir and M'aam to customers in their half-sleep. You probably woke her up.

[Lauren1973]

I have a related issue. My boss and I spend alot of time together (outside sales) I look far from a woman at work but , I do not have any hair on my body and on top of that I do tan alot and take very good care of my skin.(my only tel tel) .Ok so lately my boss has started opening doors for me and always carry's the heavy loads.I must give of funny signals.
:D


Lauren

[girl_in_pantyhose]

Every one seems to have such different ideas but one that seems to stick out is that it doesn't mater if you think you are passable or not just that you are out there even if you are not in Girl-Mode! I agree there must be something more than just cashiers asleep at the job.

Ok, if there is not a line behind me I will ask the cashier if they felt any different when i was at the checkout. I guess i will have to explain that others have done the same to me and maybe even tell them that they are more right than they think they are. When I get a few answers I will post them for you all!

until then, thanks for all the ideas!

[Nicki B]

Ok, if there is not a line behind me I will ask the cashier if they felt any different when i was at the checkout.

They probably won't know, if it's a corner of the eye thing - their subconscious will be picking up pointers, though?