Does this make life too complicated?

[Deborah Jane]

Hi....
Do you find being a crossdresser makes life far more complicated than it should be?
You get into relationship and decide you like her, but as she isn,t keen on crossdressers, you don,t bother telling her about yourself and let the relationship end!!

Several relationships later, you start wondering.."Whats the point of even trying".

Don,t you just think sometimes, that this just complicates life to the point where it seems pointless!!

[Tina Dixon]

I think that is haft the reason I get into a funk on dressing, I have no one to share my interest in.

[Karren H]

Personally I like complicated!!! Makes things more exciting.. And you never get bored!! Well I don't at least... Keeps you on your toes which is good cause you'd snap off a heel if you did otherwise... I'm lovin it...

[Darlene Dippy]

Well I don't know an equation that calculates how complicated life is.
If someone comes up with one I'm sure that when you factor in a high CD index it it will go off scale!

Perhaps worse is the high isolation/lonely score CDing can get you!

[Emily Anderson]

I'm with Karren on this one! I couldn't stand to live a life of monotony, and seeing as CD'in is my thing, it just makes it all that much more interesting.

[suzy cool]

It makes life more complicated but I'd probably have some other secret addiction if I wasn't doing this. Not being able to share, speak about it, or even hint at it, is rather vexing sometimes.

[Sarah...]

Complicated and more fun I'd say. I can go with that for ever.

Sarah...

[TGMarla]

Sure, Deborah, it's easy to just say screw it, and decide it's not worth it to test the waters of relationships because you figure she'll just run if and when she finds out. But it's not always that way. You can't be someone you're not, and yet you remain a worthy person. Defeating yourself before you even try is not the way to go. Take things slowly, one day at a time. When finding a relationship is no longer your biggest priority, one will happen when you least expect it.

Never give up!

:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

Depends on what you want and are looking for Deb.:)

[Deborah Jane]

Depends on what you want and are looking for Deb.:)

I wish i knew!!!

I thought i,d found what i wanted, but it seems to me i either accept my crossdressing Or i find a loving relationship!!

I think my crossdressing is stopping me having a normal relationship with a woman...It already cost me my marriage!!

The women i,ve dated since wouldn,t accept being with a crossdresser, so either i stay with them and dump c/ding or i let them go. It seems i can,t have both!

[Emily Anderson]

It is possible to find both a loving relationship and continue to CD. This can be accomplished in at least a couple of ways, such as a) living-apart-together, or b) living together with an accepting partner. There are probably other combos, but it's too late for me to think right now...

I'm in the former situation, with a loving partner who knows about my CD'ing, which gives me the time and space to explore, and her the time and space to take care of her own interests.

We'll very likely live together one day (been together over 4 years), but for now we're both happy with the situation. There's no pressure, and it suits us as a couple.

[Toni_Lynn]

Being a crossdresser has made my life so much richer in so many ways. I can't explain it, and it may sound smug, but I feel that in some ways it has made me better than the other guys out there, because I am not a typical male. I guess it makes me feel fuller and more rounded as human being. Why? Well, because the difficult times I have experienced because of crossdressing gave me lots of time for heart felt introspection -- I was really able to meditate on me, who I am, others, and my relationships.

And while my wife and I didn't get together because of my crossdressing, it has added a whole dimension and unique closeness to our love that I only ever dreamed of.

All in all, every complication, every trouble, every worry, has been well worth it

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Nikki A.]

Sure it makes life complicated, but, it is a part of who we are. As far as meeting someone, I hope that in time I will meet someone who will accept and embrace this part of me. Until I do I will continue to look and have fun with those that I do meet.

[Lauren Gray]

More complicated?- absolutely, but I feel it is worth it because it allows me to express a huge part of who I am. During a large part of my life I felt as if this was a curse and that I was different because of my feelings and desires. Now I accept and embrace this important part of me. It is interesting that I found the person who completes me after I accepted the the feminine aspects in myself. :hugs:

[whitelace]

Hi Deb,
To answer your question Yes! indeed crossdressing will most certainly complicate your life especially if you are very active with it. I would say that it added a whole new dimension to my life.... complicated yes but not in a negative way . I have found it to be the spice of an already spicy life .

My experience telling all to my past female lovers ended up giving those relationships more straw for the fire . I consider myself very lucky to have met such cool chicks but I also look back in hindsight and recall how I came out & presented myself to them ...and that was always in a very positive and intimate environment . I've learned that women just love it when were acting frisky with them and hey! what better time to introduce them to their new girl friend w/o skipping a beat.... well ...it worked for me . and here's the thing you or anyone in the situation are pouring your heart out to someone that you want to except you ...this is true.. but you're also selling yourself to them. Even a person with a preconceived negative notion on crossdressing will swallow the pill easier if it's sweet enough.... does this make sense to ya? I think it's how we do it . It must be presented in an enthusiastic manor never woe is me I can't help wearing women's clothes please accept me.... hope my sharing helps to shed some light.
hugs ....lacie:battingeyelashes:

[Samantha43]

I am very fortunate to have an accepting and encouraging wife. She has known since very early in our relationship, and we have been married for over 20 years. Occasionally we will both get dressed in our finest clothes and makeup and have a "girls night" at home with dinner and wine or drinks. I believe it has allowed me to explorer emotions that few men have the ability to experience. It has allowed me to lead a fuller life. It does have its complications though. I lead a very active life and sometimes I get an overwhelming urge to crossdress when it is impossible to do so.

I do realize how fortunate I am, especially after joining this forum and seeing how much difficulty some of us have with our love lives.

Keep your head up and remember that there are women who will accept you for who you are.

[docrobbysherry]

I wish i knew!!!

I thought i,d found what i wanted, but it seems to me i either accept my crossdressing Or i find a loving relationship!!

I think my crossdressing is stopping me having a normal relationship with a woman...It already cost me my marriage!!

The women i,ve dated since wouldn,t accept being with a crossdresser, so either i stay with them and dump c/ding or i let them go. It seems i can,t have both!

Since I started dating again last year, I haven't run into your problem yet, DJ.
It hasn't become necessary to tell any GG that I CD. I haven't gotten close enough to any yet. Pretty much because of my CDing AND so far; because I like the sex with Sherry better than that with my dates! :o

[marny]

This question makes me think of a simalar topic that has nagged me for quite a while: the idea that cding is complicated or not normal. Can anyone explain to me what a 'normal familly' is and tell me if they have actually met one? :brolleyes:

[RobertaFermina]

If you date them, and expect never to reveal yourself to them, and therefore must leave them, or let the relationship languish until they leave (you leave, emotionally), then your relationships seem doomed.

Maybe it is worth the risk to get to know someone well enough to be able to know they'll keep a secret, before moving on into relationship.

That way, if they won't accept you as a partner, at least they won't make your life impossible by blabbing.

Does that bring any Hope ?

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[kym]

I'm at the point in my life that its either accept me for who and what i am or don't. I'm lucky enough to have a gf who is fast on her way to becoming a fiancee who accepts me for me simply because she loves me for me and not the clothes i choose to wear. the really strane part is i was dating a therapist who did not accept me for me. and thats what ended an otherwise healthy relationship.

[Leasa Wells]

oh the ying an yang of life.

I think most of use want to feel normal in life, you know fit in. Well at least thats the way i want it after my teen years, yeah i grew up in the sixties when different was ok for us kids.

But now my responsibilites to make a living an support my life style is important too. To find the balance of feeling femine an mascline to be accepted in what i like to wear i feel will always be limited because of the way sociaty is. I cant change the world but i can support how i see it an see other people.

I hope this make sense.

Lisa

P.S. I just had laser surgery on my eyes so if this is gramatically incorrect please understand things are blurry.

[Joanne f]

Yes it can seam that way at times not really knowing if you should say anything or not and it seams a bit unfair that we even have to think about the effect it could have on any type of relation`s whether it is just friendship with some one or a serious relationship that you are seeking.
And that can have a knock on effect should you explain to people that you know they have some idea of a little of what you do or just take the attitude, you think you know what i am but you haven`t a cue so p**off, and i must admit that life has made me take that attitude as i will not look for or even want any friends now, these complications as you put it have made me take the attitude that i have always dealt with it on my own (like a lot of others here) until i became brave enough to tell my wife and i am glad to say that she now share`s it with me and always wish that i could help with others that are having a problem in their relationships in some small way .
I lost to many so called friends and relations because of Cding now i will not even consider making new ones even to the point of when my wife starts talking to someone i will some times walk a way and when my wife ask`s me why did i do that i will say , what is the point as when they find out what i am like they will not want to be friendly, so yes it can complicate things but only if you let it , but i would really advise you all ,DON`T let it take you down that path. or you will end up like the sad case that i am :D



joanne