No Men?

[valenstein]

A particular website I'm on (doesn't matter which one, it's been the same way on several), a lot of CD's state clearly on their page, "No Men", and that they only want to talk to "feminine people". I used to follow that, then I realized one day that I am tacking on the same prejudice as a genetic woman who proclaims, "No CD's/TV's". You're saying, "I refuse to speak to you because of your gender as I see it".

This goes against acceptance of non-traditional gender roles. Yes, that means wading through a ton of jerks, but the GG's have to go through the same thing. A few of those GG's looked past the notion that I might be a creep, and I made some nice friends. I even met a few guys who were nice and have yet to say a single thing to me to want to kick them to the curb.

Is it for sexual reasons? So, if you spend the night with another CD and the next morning they're getting ready for work sans makeup, clothes and wig and a few facial hairs sprouting, are you gonna sneak out or give him a byebye kiss?

Speaking for myself, I am 95% the same person regardless of what clothes I have on (the other 5% percent is that I'm a little happier and a better dancer).

I don't talk to every guy that e-mails me, I can spot the creeps easy enough. Frankly, I'd be more likely to talk to a guy that sent me something dirty that made me laugh because it was humorous, than talk to the guy that sent me some government surplus cheese poem (read: budding sociopathic loner).

This rant came about because people keep wanting to befriend me, but then they make the aformentioned declaration. If you want to speak to Ms. Hyde, you have to speak to Dr. Jekyll sometimes, too.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Ivy, I would say you have a pretty good handle on the situation and express it as well!!!!


Hugs; Mollyanne

[Angie G]

Well you seem to have it under control hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Empress Lainie]

Like the thread I started the other day. There are no men jerks on this site, that I have seen. It makes for a very nice and pleasant site. And since I am sure you wil read this, Alan, you are a man in a million.

[Alan]

Like the thread I started the other day. There are no men jerks on this site, that I have seen. It makes for a very nice and pleasant site. And since I am sure you wil read this, Alan, you are a man in a million.


Aw, thanks. :hugs:

My biggest problem had been forgetting the transman minority. But if we were forgotten because we're not jerks, that's okay :D

Seriously, though, I've found sites like that. They annoy me greatly, but /shrug. I figure that sites that don't want me, I don't want either.

[Kate Simmons]

Like Val, I can spot the jerks a mile away. No jerks on this site, only great people. Even so, I tend to give some "jerks" the benefit of the doubt. Some people are really nice once you get to know them, gender notwithstanding.:)

[Hotlegz75]

Yea, most of the men I meet online are really nice, but boy are they horny, it is so hard to find one that you can have a normal convo with!! Denise

[Fab Karen]

A sensible attitude.

[Emily Anderson]

A particular website I'm on (doesn't matter which one, it's been the same way on several), a lot of CD's state clearly on their page, "No Men", and that they only want to talk to "feminine people". I used to follow that, then I realized one day that I am tacking on the same prejudice as a genetic woman who proclaims, "No CD's/TV's". You're saying, "I refuse to speak to you because of your gender as I see it".

It's not a refusal, it's a preference, and there's no harm in stating a preference.

[Alan]

Yea, most of the men I meet online are really nice, but boy are they horny, it is so hard to find one that you can have a normal convo with!! Denise

I've found that I can't have normal convos with girls, either. Maybe because I enjoy randomness in conversation. /shrug.

[serinalynn]

Having been a supervisor of single sexually active young men, I have discovered that most men like to get drunk first :eek: and get laid second.:doh:

[valenstein]

Aw, thanks. :hugs:

My biggest problem had been forgetting the transman minority. But if we were forgotten because we're not jerks, that's okay :D

Seriously, though, I've found sites like that. They annoy me greatly, but /shrug. I figure that sites that don't want me, I don't want either.

Alan,

That's exactly the point I was trying to make:) Honestly, I was in a bit of a snit when I wrote that, but I wonder if someone I knew would overlook an e-mail or IM if I sent it under my male name?

[Alan]

Alan,

That's exactly the point I was trying to make:) Honestly, I was in a bit of a snit when I wrote that, but I wonder if someone I knew would overlook an e-mail or IM if I sent it under my male name?

They might if they don't know who you are under your male name. I know that the guys here who know be by my guy name probably wouldn't open an email if I sent it from the address bearing my female name, and vice versa.

[Melissa_B]

Lesbians posting on gay/lesbian boards also often state "No Men" on their page as well. A lot of times the poster has a preference, and does not want to process a lot of messages he or she is not interested in. Sort of like unsolicited telemarketing calls.

[Empress Lainie]

A friend of mine just had her SRS a few weeks ago. She said that her sexual preference has now changed. She was a hardcore lesbian and NOW likes men, wondering if that change is common after surgery.

[CD Susan]

I am a member of another site that deals with ts issues and the possibility of meeting and dating. I have stated in my profile there that I am a cd/tv looking for a cd/tv for friendship. In spite of this about half of the responses I get are from men seeking a cd/tv. This does not bother me at all and think of it as a compliment that a man is interested in me in spite of my stated preference of who I want to meet. I answer all of these messages and consider it only courteous to do so. I have met a number of really nice guys this way and if I was looking for a man I would have no problem finding a guy to date. All of us in the ts community should respect each other and show it by our actions when contacted by one another regardless of our preferences.

[CaptLex]

A friend of mine just had her SRS a few weeks ago. She said that her sexual preference has now changed. She was a hardcore lesbian and NOW likes men, wondering if that change is common after surgery.
Don't know about "common", but it happens. It's a topic that comes up here once in a while and people debate whether it's something that was always there and unexpressed before transition, or if hormones help bring these feelings out. :idontknow:

[Alan]

A friend of mine just had her SRS a few weeks ago. She said that her sexual preference has now changed. She was a hardcore lesbian and NOW likes men, wondering if that change is common after surgery.

I think the biggest deal here is that sexuality is neither rigid nor unchanging. Sexuality changes, depending on where you are in life and what your hormone levels are and what you're going through and all sorts of unexplainable things. It can be a shock if you had spent a long time identifying as one sexuality (gay, straight, w/e), which is why I hate labelling so much.

No one -- or, rather, ALMOST no one (no matter what they say) -- is 100% gay or straight throughout their entire life.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Hi Ivy, I would say you have a pretty good handle on the situation and express it as well!!!!


Hugs; Mollyanne

I agree with Mollyanne. I have no interest in men and I do not have that on any of my profiles. I have learned not to respond to emails and IM's. I too have responded to the ones that make me fall out of my chair.