Second time ever going out enfemme...

[rebeca_abigail30]

Tonight I decide to get dressed en femme, go for a drive, and run to the local store to get more fingernails. Mind you, this is after midnight, and the local stores, are usually not that busy. Well, I do my drive around, and build up my nerve to pull into the store parking lot. I park, and there were more people coming in and out, so I decide to drive around the block and little more. Then, about 12:30, I pull back in, and there still a few coming out of the store. So I wait in the car for a few minutes, when someone walks out I pretend to be looking for something. I didn't have the radio on, and this guy walks out with a suitcase of beer. I hear him tell his friends waiting in their car, "Dude, that's a guy! I swear!" I don't do anything. I wait for them to leave, and the parking lot is getting pretty empty, and I go in. I'm in the store for maybe 10 minutes total. Get my fingernails and leave. Of course, I used the Self-checkout, and pay by cash.

I came straight home and started doing my new nails, and typed this.

I can't I was outed!:doh:

[danam]

I'm thinking about where to go for my second outing too, and I'm pretty nervous about being outed like that.

What do you think gave you away?

[CharleneT]

Dear, we all get "outed" sometimes, maybe everytime. The hard part is when you know it because of a comment or specific "stare". Remember, most of the time, we have no idea who has made us or not. As you practice more, you will become more confident and it will be easier - even when you are "outed". The first time I went out, en route to my entertainment for the evening, I had to stop for directions. I went to a TGI Friday's. The hostess didn't know the answer, turned around and asked the manager across the room if he could help "this guy with directions" I was crestfallen at that moment. They were the first people I had interacted with in a public setting. BUT, as I later thought back on it, although they "knew", they also treated me very respectfully and nicely. That is the part to concentrate on, that is golden. As you get more of those reactions, you'll also find you pass better. Why ? Because you are confident and happy and - most important - not nervous about being out. It may help you to go to a city a few miles away, where you won't see people you know. Then, while reminding yourself these people do not matter, just go out and have some fun. That will help build the confidence that you need.

Charlene

[Amy Hepker]

It's OK you'll get better with time. The more you go out the better you will get.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

You can walk and keep slight distance from people and just get used to being in public. If people say hi, you can respond or not. From my experience, most people don't notice or make rude comments, in your case it was some drunken men or soon to be drunk men. Sometimes the harsh lighting and shadows can make us look different than when in full daylight.

I walk in the park as dressed in the attached picture. Your Avatar looks decent So I think the outing was a freak occurence, don't lose your confidence. :battingeyelashes: :battingeyelashes: Kimmy

PS As you can see I like Pink

[Jonianne]

Hi Rebeca,

Well, you are hooked now! Having the courage to step out whether we get read or not is a major positive step in self acceptance. It's saying I'm OK with being me. Just be careful where you go.
My wife encouraged me to go out. She said Joni needs to feel the sun on her face.

Congratulations!

[RylieCD]

Rebecca,
Congrats on going out, it took alot of courage. the confrontation could have been a coincidence with some drunks. There are many of us who do not have has much courage as you do, I applaud you.

[Angie G]

Dose it matter all that much hun. :hugs:
Angie

[rebeca_abigail30]

I didn't care, I didn't need to hear it though.

[Emily Anderson]

What a nightmare! I sure hope it goes better for you next time around.

[CD Susan]

Rebeca, I applaude you for having the courage to go out dressed! It doesn't matter what the inconsiderate people think or say. I try to just be who I am and have fun with it in spite of the occassional rude comment.

[SusanLaine]

I've been there too...I recall one time in Denver when I spent hours getting ready and went out to the local tri-ess mtg where I got a few compliments on my outfit and complexion/make-up. Then I went to the mall and didn't have the courage to go in so I returned to the hotel. On my way in to the hotel a handful of high school kids looked back at me and giggled. They obviously read me and it's wasn't much fun.

Here is what I've come to learn from that experience and a few others like it:

- If I go out in a tight sweater, short skirt and 4"+ heels, I'm going to get a lot of attention that I may not want.
- If I go out at odd times, like the middle of the night, or for odd items then it looks, well, odd and I get attention I don't want.
- If I do any activity in which a GG would normally not do alone then I'll get unwanted attention
- If I'm not careful with my make-up and my beard shows through then I'm sunk. In my case this is by far the most damaging aspect of not passing as my size, height, overall features are not very masculine. Even with a very light beard however, it's very obvious.

Some of these things I've learned the hard way, by bad experiences and others I've learned from GGs and on forums like this one...:-)