I'm just venting

[Dawn Marie]

Some months ago, I started seeing a therapist(at my wifes request) to help me with my problem (according to my wife) of CDing. I wanted to go myself before but could not bring myself to talk to my wife about it. She hoping this will cure me.:heehee:
Since I have been going these last few months I have come to the conclusion that I don't need therapy. It is good to have someone to talk to that is not judgmental, but it would be better if I could find someone who would also help me in my endever. But still,I am happy with myself, but my wife is unaccepting of that. I just wish she would see that I am happier when I am allowed to dress and not have to hide it, like I do now. I still would keep it from the children, for they are to young to understand.
There is so much that I want to do and am missing out of; that it gets so frustrating and I get depressed. I want to talk to her about it but I don't want to have a big arguement either.
As of late she has mellowed out, she no longer cuts up myclothes if I happen to forget to hide it. Even this last week she found a blouse I bought, but it is still hanging in our closet. I'm not sure what to think about this.
Like many of us I cannot help myself, if I see something pretty and I think it would look good on me, I buy it. I never spend a lot, I know my limits, but I have enough clothes that I could wear something every day for a month and not wear the same thing twice.
Frustrated,but hanging in there,
Dawn Marie

[Tina Dixon]

It's good to vent isn't it, it suck and a lot of us are there, it's not right that that she cuts up your clothing or makes you see a therapist if you ask me, but it seems like your wife has issues her self, angry management classes for her.

[Mary Morgan]

You might consider doing what I did. After visiting with the therapist for some time, at her request, not to be cured but to learn to deal more with the emotional part of my dressing, I suggested to my wife that she go and spend a session with the therapist. After that she concluded we were spend unnecessary dollars and she has been more accommodating, including suggesting clothes, shoes, etc. But now she understands it is her fear not my dressing.

[Dawn Marie]

It's good to vent isn't it, it suck and a lot of us are there, it's not right that that she cuts up your clothing or makes you see a therapist if you ask me, but it seems like your wife has issues her self, angry management classes for her.


You might consider doing what I did. After visiting with the therapist for some time, at her request, not to be cured but to learn to deal more with the emotional part of my dressing, I suggested to my wife that she go and spend a session with the therapist. After that she concluded we were spend unnecessary dollars and she has been more accommodating, including suggesting clothes, shoes, etc. But now she understands it is her fear not my dressing.

Tina and Mary,
I've tried to get her to come with me to the therapist, so maybe she can hear for herself what I'm all about, and maybe understand me more. She says' she is too busy to attend. Thou I will keep trying.

Thanks for the comments,
Dawn Marie

[TGMarla]

Did she know you crossdressed before you got married? Mine didn't, and she's not real happy about it, either. But she tolerates it as long as it is kept out of sight. And frankly, she has a right to that, because CDing wasn't in the bargain, even though it was a pre-existing condition. She has a right to the man she married, and I don't mind doing my best to give him to her.

[Karren H]

My wife is simular in the fact that she doesn't like my hobby and does not want to see me enfemme and yet she knows I still crossdress and just basically doesn't want to know.... Which is a workable system for us...

You need to find that balance where she is happy with having you as her husband and you have sufficient time to practice your hobby... But it's go to be a balance... too much either way and someone wins and someone looses and "Game Over" imho....

[teresa jeen]

i found a dollar and a quarter today! when she begins to understand, shell be the best one for you. till then be gentle and caring dont let her fall and be there when she does. thats all we desire someone to care for us and love us as we are.no matter.

[Dawn Marie]

Did she know you crossdressed before you got married? Mine didn't, and she's not real happy about it, either. But she tolerates it as long as it is kept out of sight. And frankly, she has a right to that, because CDing wasn't in the bargain, even though it was a pre-existing condition. She has a right to the man she married, and I don't mind doing my best to give him to her.
Marla,
My wife knew that I was a crossdresser before we got married,but I told her I quite, which worked for a while. But then a few years after the marraige I started back again. Fancy that!!!! She had a real problem with it then.


My wife is simular in the fact that she doesn't like my hobby and does not want to see me enfemme and yet she knows I still crossdress and just basically doesn't want to know.... Which is a workable system for us...

You need to find that balance where she is happy with having you as her husband and you have sufficient time to practice your hobby... But it's go to be a balance... too much either way and someone wins and someone looses and "Game Over" imho....

Karen,
I'm trying to get my wife to that point, to where as long as she doesn't see me dressed, its ok. I'm hoping that this is a possibility.

[sterling12]

Can't remember if you have been advised about this before, but hopefully you are aware of The Tri-Ess Group in Houston. IF you could join and get your Good Lady to participate, I think it would help her to have more acceptance.

Just meeting and talking to other wives seems to help. You get the bonus of social time with peers. She will also probably learn to understand that the problem can't be eradicated, and The Shrink is not going to cure you.

I would certainly give it a shot!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

My wife wants her husband back but so far she tolerates my dressing but does not want Sandra to come out of the closet. I wear my nighties every night and panties and such daily but I do it covertly. It's a work in progress.

[Emily Anderson]

This doesn't sound like 'just venting' to me. It sounds more as if you're being submissive, in a negative way. If this continues, it will niggle away at your health and well-being.

It's unacceptable for your wife to expect that you be cured from CD'ing, to not want to participate in your therapy, as well as cutting up your clothes.

I'm hoping that you have informed the therapist, and that he/she has explained all these things to you.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you should just do whatever the hell you like. But, you have a right to your say and you should stand up for yourself.

I'm hoping the therapist will help you towards greater self-confidence.

[Dawn Marie]

Can't remember if you have been advised about this before, but hopefully you are aware of The Tri-Ess Group in Houston. IF you could join and get your Good Lady to participate, I think it would help her to have more acceptance.
Just meeting and talking to other wives seems to help. You get the bonus of social time with peers. She will also probably learn to understand that the problem can't be eradicated, and The Shrink is not going to cure you.

I would certainly give it a shot!

Peace and Love, Joanie

I tried to join the Tri-ess group about a year ago and was turned down for some reason, not sure why.


This doesn't sound like 'just venting' to me. It sounds more as if you're being submissive, in a negative way. If this continues, it will niggle away at your health and well-being.

It's unacceptable for your wife to expect that you be cured from CD'ing, to not want to participate in your therapy, as well as cutting up your clothes.

I'm hoping that you have informed the therapist, and that he/she has explained all these things to you.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you should just do whatever the hell you like. But, you have a right to your say and you should stand up for yourself.

I'm hoping the therapist will help you towards greater self-confidence.

In a way I guess I am submissive to a point but it is just that I don't want a divorce. I've been divorced twice before, just after they found out about my Cding and I don't want to repeat that. And I have informed my therpist about this, that is why I'm trying to get her to come to one of the sessions.
Thanks for all your imput and comments they are very much appreciated.

[Bootsiegalore]

Society has kept us closeed until recently. Now it is becomming more acceptable for us to "come out". I just think it is genetic and we have no control over who and what we are. I knew I was a CD when I was 8. It is only 5 years ago I shared it with my wife (who is accepting an participates).

Tara

[rachellenicole]

Ouch... cutting up the clothes.

I hope you two can come to a reasonable compromise. That is a tough situation to be in and I wish you well.

Rach

[Pattie O]

Im feeling very low.I just purged all my clothes that Ive recently purchased from my favourite lingerie store and I had some gorgeous items.Ive also discarded a beautiful white vanity case with make up.My wife has given me an ultimatum.Stop or else!
I dont know how Im going to cope but she and the kids come first and I love them too much to lose them
Help

Pattie O

[Dawn Marie]

I feel your deliema Pattie,My wife has given me the same one but I just can't stop. Thou I have tried several times. luckily I did not purge, I just put them up in storage. I've gone to therapy at her request but all that made me realize is that I am perfectly fine with who I am but she is the one who needs to come to terms with this. I think I am a better man ( husband) for this.

[stevie b]

I feel for you. last year my wife had trouble with my CDing although it was not much, funny it was the painted toenails that finally did it.
I went to a therepist at her request and one she chose.Although he said he was open minded and couldn't care about wether I crossdress or not the sessions, looking back, were being used to desensitise me. After a lot of money and a purge I am now back to where I was. She understands now a little better that it cannot be put away and have a sane partner.
Following all this we negotiated a solution and the best thing is she is giving me more room. As it has been written many times on this site time can be the key.
My wife was afraid of loosing her man, and upset that my legs were better than hers!
I wish you all the best.
xx

[Magickman]

As I long suspected, there is an upside to bachelorhood.

Maybe I am anti-social, but I would not tolerate a woman telling me what to do. I would drop her in a New York minute.

I have walked away from many different women, and do not regret it. Also been dumped more than a few times.

Never been married, though, and do not intend to. I like my independence too much.

[Tina Dixon]

Tina and Mary,
I've tried to get her to come with me to the therapist, so maybe she can hear for herself what I'm all about, and maybe understand me more. She says' she is too busy to attend. Thou I will keep trying.

Thanks for the comments,
Dawn Marie
She's to busy? Girl so far it's all her.