Where are you compared to 6 months..1,2,3 5 years ago

[Kristen Kelly]

Read a post from my blog exactly 2 years ago after I had just told my gf about Kristen, have I changed alot in a short time. It has changed from something I did to who I am. Compare to my latest post.

Where are you compared to the past, would love to hear about it.

68986
2 Years Ago

Entry for July 22, 2006


Week 3......A lot has happened in three short weeks, we both feel this is a new beginning, there are still some rocky subjects, the largest is me going out with the girls, but we are working on it. Told her we would go to drag night me in drab, introduce her to the girls and show her what goes on. She asked to see some pictures of me. after showing her some of my posts here and pictures of the girls I meet and chat with here, Her comment was, "Not the most beautiful woman". That started a conversation that started ended in her wanting to do my makeup one time, her Idea of what I should look like is different, wig and makeup colors. The fact that she has taken a get involved approach put alot of my fears to rest. She feels she has found a GF as well as a lover in me, and she has opened up to me so much, and our "romance in the bedroom has taken a tremendence upward spike. A comment she made was "After what you told me I couldn't top anything that I have on my mind". I am very much surprised at her reactions and very pleased, I just keep trying to remember it's not all about me, we have gone out county line dancing ,something we have talked about doing for some time now, and will keep trying new things. I made a comment in a past post, "Amazing a person can only know about another person what they are willing to tell", they was a complete side of me I was not willing to show to anyone , I wasn't until I was happy and realized just who I was.
Again Thanks for all the help and comments, took a long time to get here a difficult one, but the best things in life are not handed to you on a Silver platter you have to work at them for you to appreciate them.


68987

6 Months Ago

TG weekend in Atlantic City
Well I did it 3 Days in Atlantic City Totally enfem, what a FANTASTIC time. Started off on a high note when I was checking in, my room is comped so I had to show my male ID and desk clerk said I'm sorry but Mr. Kelly has to check in and sign in. I said he is, that’s me. Treated me as a woman called me Ms. Kelly.

Later went to the pool in my 1 piece bathing suit, had a terry cover up over walking into the pool, which I took off as soon as I got there, for a second felt like first time out, but no reaction had dark glasses on so could look around without others seeing me and no one was looking, did wonders for the ego. Did that 2 days and was very crowded 2nd day, same reaction nothing, except got hit on by 60ish Latin man.

Another time was in Ladies room in Bally's came out the stall and security guard came out right after me I washed my hands and so did she and not a second glance.

It was wasn't the only time had to interact there were many but 1 time I had to call a slot attendant, she looked at my comp card then asked for my name must have thought was my husbands card.

Over all did wonders for the ego this weekend. I was dressed just like all the other GG's all weekend long, capris, shorts, tee and casual tops, sandals and sneakers, except for the club, when I went out Friday night didn't blend there, was out in mini skirt, red top showing a lot of cleavage and 4" silver stacked heels. Was 1 of the older people there, lots of younger gg's girls came up to me and danced and had pics taken with them. The rest of the weekend I did blend well having my own hair I do have to say helps me alot, I was using very little make-up during the daytime, found I was getting missed and maamed when out many other times before in "Drab" so during the daytime kept it to a minimum and it worked for me well.

Over all the comfort I have with being out, and who I am, and acting like I belonged there, and my mannerisims made me invisible, and that can be a good thing.

[Samantha43]

I haven't changed much. I have been married over 20 years to a supportive wife who allows me to express myself. Over the years I have changed my style though. I have given up mini skirts in favor of a professional or casual look. I'm always trying to refine my look.

Okay, I still get the mini skirts out occasionally.....:battingeyelashes:

[Cristi]

A few milestones:

25 years ago (wow!) was when I came out to my wife while we were still dating. She was the first person I ever dressed around as has been very supportive. 15 years of 'dress and drive' and late-night walks followed until...

10 years ago was around the first time I got my nerve up to dress and go out on halloween. In that first year, I just dashed into a few stores and went for a short walk on a quiet street. By last year, I spent the day shopping, going out to lunch and dinner, and getting my hair done in salons while dressed :)

I've spent the last 8 years going further and further on that day until I got to the point where it just felt 'normal' to me, which brings us to...

2 years ago was about the first time I went out on a 'regular' day fully dressed. Now I feel comfortable doing so at any time (I just can't find the time to do it!)

Hmmm... two years ago was about the time I joined this site. Coincidence?

[vikki2020]

Well, I have changed, thats for sure.30 years ago, I was dressing and going out most nights, but hiding everything to the extreme.After a very long break from dressing, I started up about 3 years ago, and was really conflicted about it.Now, I am so glad that I'm dressing again,although not as much as I would like.But, now I'm sure of what I'm doing, with no regrets.Evolution.Out of the water, and walking upright!

[Angie G]

In just over 2 years I'm out to my wife and full dressing 5 days a week.:hugs:
Angie

[CD Susan]

My comparison to six months ago or longer is much shorter than that but still felt I had to respond to this post. I decided three months ago to come out after being buried very deep in the closet for over 40 years. This was the most important thing I have ever done for myself. Since coming out I have done so many things that in the past were only a dream. The first thing I did was to join this website and start communicating with others like me. This gave me the encouragement to start going out in public dressed. I have done this many times since then and it has always been a very exhilerating experience. I have to thank all of my sisters here who gave me the encouragement to do this. My life has changed for the better since I came out and so very happy that this has happened. I feel happier now than I ever have been in my life. My only regret is that I did not do this many years ago! I am not worried about what I should have done long ago but am looking at where I am in my life now and where I am going from here. I am truely a "Happy Camper" and that is why I have it next to my avatar photo. I was "reborn" three months ago and am enjoying my life now to the fullest. I wish this feeling to all of my sisters out there!

[jaych]

5 years ago married 2 kids and dressing alone
4 years ago threw away all femme clothes to save marriage
3 years ago divorced in counciling to see what was wrong with me
2 years ago start buying clothes again and accepting who i am
2 - Today and many more years to come, meet my very special girl friend who under stands me and loves me unconditionaly. And knows about my cross dressing.

[dominique]

6 months ago I wouldn't have dreamt of going out. That for me was the big step I had to take, also putting on make up, I know its not great step in itself but to me it was the icing on the cake. Since joining this site and reading all the posts it has filled me with confidence and not being alone in doing what I've done is a great boost. Hugs

[Sharon B.]

Five years ago the only place I would go was in my backyard when I knew my neighbors weren't at home.
Three years ago my then long time girlfriend broke up with me, it seem to her it was more like having a lesbian relationship with me and she said she wasn't into that.
About that time I started to go out for drives dressed completely as a woman during the daylight hours. At the time I didn't care who would see me. One of my neighbors did but has never said anything about it.
At this time I have finally accepted myself as being a transvestite to maybe a transgender, still haven't come out to my family or close friends.
I do keep my body completely hairless, use nothing but scented body wash, scented body lotion, wear panties most of the time and also wear mauve lip gloss.
The more I dress the more it feels right and the more relax I am.

[DAVIDA]

In the past two years, of which I have been a member here, I have been out several times. Although it has been a while since I have been out. I have been seen by some of my neighbors and, to date, no one has moved away. I have gotten to the place where I really don't care who sees me.

[Karren H]

6 years ago... hadn't dressed in 10 years and couldn't care less
5.5 years ago.... brain tumor was discovered which was treatable with drugs..
5 years ago..... crossdressing came back with a vengence.... due to the succesfull treatment
4.75 years ago... started playing ice hockey again after decades... lost 50 pounds...
4.5 years ago.... buying clothes and makeup again... went out for the first time in decades
3 years ago... wife found out but still loves me as her husband.....
current...... having the time of my life..... and it's not really dependent on what I'm wearing...

Life is good!!! :)

[jill s]

I have a very poor sense of time but about two years ago I had a little break down; quite my job, came out to my wife, went to several therapist. Before that I had my cross dressing in a totally separate compartment of my life, it was repressed or held off to the side completely. Now I think about how it would feel to be a women constantly, the couple of times I get to dress each week are about the only times I feel quiet in my head. My poor wife wants me to go back to therapy but I don't think that has much to offer me. So I guess to answer your question Before two years ago smooth sailing but deep in the closet -- Now, I don't have a clue what's wrong with me or how to fix it.

[Ásfríðr]

*22 yrs ago born a boy
*22 - 5 years ago did lots of growing up stuff, pushing that gender boundry all the while
*5 yrs ago realised i definately was the other sex, but comfortable in my trappedness, a sheep in wolves clothing. a bit off, but practical, in a way
*This year, so tired of being stuck, options i had previously opted against now look shiney and full of YESES.

so quite a lot of changes, and many more to come

x

[BobbieAnne]

% years ago I was married and living the way society said I should.Dressing only at work and i drive a semi so it was easy to keep my secrete to myself. Two years ago i left said wife due to her fourth infidelity. Any more I'd belong on Jerry Springer!Got my own place and dove into my female side full time.Now its Bobbie all the time no matter what and i am happier than I have ever been.I shop and go out totallyen fem now and my family knows and support me. They said i made a goodlooking man and a beautiful woman.This Saturday I am joining a local Transgendered group to see what I can learn there and continue to be the woman I always wanted to be. Life is good!

[Nikki A.]

Five years ago- In the closet and dressing only at home
4 yrs ago- Started underdressing almost every day
2yrs ago- First Halloween dressed at work, and enjoying it.
6 mos ago to present- Been out dressed to clubs, a wedding a friends house after the wedding. Confided to a few people and let sales people know that I am buying for myself. I have come to terms that this is a part of me and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Careful about who knows and where I go so that it does not affect my career or my family. Next step is to let my kids know, if they have not already figured it out. They've seen my toes painted at times, but not always and they know that some of my casuals (jeans, shorts, clogs) were bought from the women's dep't or were my wife's. I guess I might as well come clean.

[SusanMarie]

About 5 yrs ago...living a 'normal' guy life, but always aware that something was just not right. Never been completely comfortable in my own skin. Never have been 'one of the guys'. At this time I was doing some mid-life soul searching and internet surfing and 'discovered' other people online who had similar feelings.
Then one day online, there it was, me. An accurate description of my feelings, on a gender site, femme feelings, female feelings :eek: OMG!!! I 'over thought' that for a while and then decided to chat with my SO. Another discovery, she knew!!!. Always has!!! Always wondered if I would ever recognize it. Loves me as I am.
Since then, a new life. Learned to be 'honest' with myself.

Love my SO more than ever. Accept myself. Having a good life. Having great life being gender gifted. :D

[Sally24]

4 years ago.....Shaved off my 30 year old beard and tried makeup for the first time! Not pretty!
69020

3 years ago.....Went out in public for the first time. Middle of the day, in Cambridge, MA with my wife. Scared but we seemed to do alright, even went shopping.
69018

3.5 years ago..Wore a skirt out for the first time. WOW! What a feeling!
69019

2 years ago.....Met with a CDing group for the first time and went to a club as a T-girl! I love dancing en femme! I didn't look nearly as attractive as many of the girls.
69017

1.5 years ago..My first T-girl night where I felt "pretty". Got many compliments on the makeup, dress, and hair. This is what I dreamed about for years but never thought possible.
69016

1 year ago....Got my ears pierced! Not that big a deal after all. It's just one more thing that makes me feel more "natural".

[Sally24]

1 year ago....Got my ears pierced! Not that big a deal after all. It's just one more thing that makes me feel more "natural".
69021

[suit]

40 years ago interested in girls ....just what the heck they were ?
like them ,intreaged , put off age 7
37 years ago confused moved no old freinds new socical economic 35 years ago enviroment different rules isolated ....catalogs ..yummmy modles ..girdles ooh
a fetish born madsion ave knighmere tight shaping body hugging curvie bodies.! age ? 13 oohh tight undies feel nice!
15 on loads of beer
loads of miss information
frustration and wasted $$ fetishes realy do suck.
no clue to drives and desires ,confused as hell about women ,scared,frustrated, alone beer !
shit job , shit freinds, and frustrated ...beer girdles
internet
e bay oooohhh girdles!
40's internet works crossdressing sights ...a place to learn that was not based on selling a $25.00 magazine to some one 100 times more frustrated than I
ages 12 to pressent(complete discust for the education that was avable to me and the horable informatin that the public libraies and schools didi not have .)
40++ a real freind,a woman ,my best freind. she metaphoricly kicked my head around and turned it inside out .... the kinks are coming out , but damb slowly.
I 'll probly never have kids or get married ,but I understand me and others better now .:drink::hugs:

[TGMarla]

It was only something like 7 years ago or so that I first got a wig. I had a moustache, too. I had been crossdressing ever since I was 12 years old, but the full female emulation was always out of reach. And I didn't give it much thought. Going out was only a pipe dream that I watched other girls do.

The internet changed a lot of things. I guess I first got online about 1993 or there abouts. For the next many years, I indulged myself in finding out all about crossdressers like myself.

I went out on Halloween once with my wife. We had done the ol' gender swap for the evening, on her suggestion. She said it was her sister's idea. She was surprised when I emerged from our bedroom after getting ready. I looked just a little too good. I had had plenty of practice with makeup by that time, and purchased a really pretty blonde wig for the occasion. But I still had not told her of my crossdressing. That wig was a big leap for me. It was the first time I really had girl hair.

I found this site in October of '05. I had switched to brunette hair, and begun purchasing my own stuff. I now have a rather large collection of ladies apparel, and just got my first breast forms this past month. I went out for the first time on June 27th of this year, and I've never felt better about my girl side. I feel balanced and in touch with myself, and I enjoy the fact that there is woman in me as well as man. I feel like I've come quite a long way.

[Kristen Kelly]

Great to read the replies from those that have been out and happy with their lives for a LONG time. Every step no matter how small is a step foward, for me I'm always pushing myself foward took 2 years to get here. Where I will find myself in 6 months or 2 years I am not sure, I do not have a plan, will take each day at a time and will see where I go.

[AndreaRose]

4 years ago-still dressing where i could find time and clothes
3 years ago-started buying my own stuff
2 years ago-started thinking about coming out
last few weeks- have decided that this is not for me or who I am. not like my past times I've given up because of fear of being found out or to try and stop for a girlfriend. I'm single right now and my urge to dress is at zero, I don't even like looking at my clothes anymore.

an admin can probably delete my account, I was never a big contributer anyway and now while I still support those who do dress and wish them the best I don't see myself coming back here very often if ever again.

[KateSpade83]

Before 2005 - all my cding was primarily fetish. And clothes size was 12+.

2003 to 2005 - lost 65lb and went from a 16 to 4, clothes collection exploded after I became a size 8 or less. I could now fit schoolgirl and cheerleader outfits too! YUM!

2005 joined this site and learned more about crossdressing, wigs, forms, and makeup.

Oct 2006 - tried shopping in drag for the first time, now I do it often and love the adventure! CDing has taken a new dimension of experience!

[danam]

4 years ago-still dressing where i could find time and clothes
3 years ago-started buying my own stuff
2 years ago-started thinking about coming out
last few weeks- have decided that this is not for me or who I am. not like my past times I've given up because of fear of being found out or to try and stop for a girlfriend. I'm single right now and my urge to dress is at zero, I don't even like looking at my clothes anymore.

an admin can probably delete my account, I was never a big contributer anyway and now while I still support those who do dress and wish them the best I don't see myself coming back here very often if ever again.

YOU'LL BE BACK!!!!!!

The urge comes and goes.

YOU'LL BE BACK!!!!!!

[AndreaRose]

YOU'LL BE BACK!!!!!!

The urge comes and goes.

YOU'LL BE BACK!!!!!!



Thank you for responding. Not to sound like a jerk but your response gives me nothing but more negative feelings about dressing. The way you and I've seen others make similar comments regarding the "urge" make dressing sound like a drug. Any drug can be conquered by will power. Also I've accepted that dressing has become a waste of money, what I get from dressing does not equal the money I have spent on it. I have better things to do with my money. Dressing is just not worth it to me there are far more things I'd rather do with my time and money. I hope this does not come across as an attack towards anyone or that I'm rude but these are my feelings.

[Jenna Lynne]

Not to sound like a jerk but your response gives me nothing but more negative feelings about dressing. The way you and I've seen others make similar comments regarding the "urge" make dressing sound like a drug. Any drug can be conquered by will power. Also I've accepted that dressing has become a waste of money, what I get from dressing does not equal the money I have spent on it. I have better things to do with my money.

Yes, it's possible to look at CDing as a type of addiction. (The post in another thread about "escalating" reminded me of this.) On the other hand, sex is a biological compulsion, and that doesn't make it an addiction. Some people get way out of balance with their sex lives -- could be any form of sex at all -- and their lives can be destroyed. Others have a lot of fun with it, but also keep their lives in balance. I'm sure CDing can be practiced either way: balanced or addictive/destructive.

Also, some people are so frightened of sex -- again, any form of sex, whatever they happen to be into -- that they never learn any kind of free, open sexual expression, and they're miserable for their whole lives. That's not good either.

I've read that many CDers "swear off," just as addicts do, and then get back into it, just as many addicts do. I think that's what the other poster was referring to.

You're right that CDing can be an expensive hobby! And if you're not getting what you need from it, why do it?

I stopped for 20 years because I wanted to be part of the mainstream of life in my community. I didn't want to be a freak. I didn't want to skulk around and worry about getting caught. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to deal with my shame and fear! But extended abstinence didn't change my turn-ons or my gender identity.

What I'm concluding now is that the price of not CDing is that I have alienated myself from myself. And that's a higher price than money! For me, at least. YMMV, as always.

***Jenna Lynne***

(Yeah, I'm back.)

[AndreaRose]

I have sworn off of dressing before but those times had outside circumstances this time is different it's that I just lost interest completely.

What you said about alienating yourself by not dressing is something I think I relate to right now but in the fact that I think dressing has alienated me from myself. At one point in my life I was an emotion-less, cold-hearted, for the lack of a better word, *******. Lately I've found myself returning to that mind frame the only constant between those to points of my life that I can think of is dressing. When I was emotion-less I had just started getting into dressing and my emotions only seemed to come out while I was dressed. When I stopped for a few years (do it lack of time and privacy) I became balanced again. Now the emotions are leaving me again. I'd rather be an emotionally healthy full time guy, than a guy most people find unappealling and a CD who doesn't interact with anyone outside the internet. I think leaving this part of my life behind is the most healthy thing for me.

[allisonrn06]

Last year at this time I would not have believed where I am now. I had told my wife ten years ago, before we were married that I was a CD and her response was not favorable - said I could keep my fem stuff, but she didn't want to see me in it. In 7 years of marriage, I never brought the subject up again till last year, when I found that some where along the line, she had come to accept it. Since then, we have come to enjoy our time when I dress, have had shopping dates etc. and it has been wonderful. I'm still looking forward to the next step for me, which is meeting other CD's and going out (very selectively) in public - probably a support group - maaybe by this time next year :)

[Tina Dixon]

From about three years ago pretty much flat line sorry to say.

[mollytyler]

Full time last 2 years and no turning back....have had tremendous support from family, friends and co-workers over the years......just a lucky one

[Jenna Lynne]

What you said about alienating yourself by not dressing is something I think I relate to right now but in the fact that I think dressing has alienated me from myself. At one point in my life I was an emotion-less, cold-hearted, for the lack of a better word, *******. Lately I've found myself returning to that mind frame the only constant between those to points of my life that I can think of is dressing. When I was emotion-less I had just started getting into dressing and my emotions only seemed to come out while I was dressed. When I stopped for a few years (do it lack of time and privacy) I became balanced again. Now the emotions are leaving me again. I'd rather be an emotionally healthy full time guy, than a guy most people find unappealling and a CD who doesn't interact with anyone outside the internet. I think leaving this part of my life behind is the most healthy thing for me.

I think it's very good that you're in touch with your emotions and aware of your process. That's fantastic!

No one on this forum can tell you what's right for you. (Corollary: Anyone who tries to do so is a jerk.) One of the frustrating things about CDing is that figuring out what's right for us as individuals is so darn difficult! Society puts roadblocks in the way, etc. This makes it tough to experiment and find the right balance.

I'm hoping to have a chance to interact with others in normal social ways while being in fem mode. If all goes well, I may start a CD club in my town (where currently there is NOTHING).

This morning I was driving around in guy mode and stopped at an outdoor art show. I was interested in some prints in one of the booths, and asked the artist about them. I used my semi-high-pitched girl voice for most of the conversation (not falsetto, but not grunting like a guy either!). I don't think she noticed anything.

What I'm saying is that there may be more opportunities than you think to interact with people face to face. Doing so might change your perceptions of what feels right to you. Or not. Nobody can predict.

Hugs!

***Jenna Lynne***

[Rachel Morley]

Here's mine. I've come a long way in 3 years ... who knows where it will lead?

................July 2005.........................................March 2006
http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/5770/me1wn4.jpg


..............July 2007............................................Ju ne 2008
http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/8016/me2ce2.jpg