Feelings after orgasm

[Rabina32]

Hi my name is Rabina. I have been in therapy for about 4 months now, to deal with my TG issues. I have not started to transition yet, but hope to start electrolysis in Dec. and hormones soon after that. My goal is to completely transition over the next few years. My question is after I have an orgasm, either with my partner or by myself, the feelings of wanting to be a woman are gone for an hour or two. After I feel sort of dirty, or like i have lied to myself or my partner. After 1-2 hours the feelings come back and all has been returned to normal (well if wanting to change ones gender is normal). Just wondering if this is normal to feel this and if any others have had the same experience.

[mike47]

I have had the same feelings before. As time goes by and the more open I have become they have actually become less frequent. Sometimes I do get them but not as often that is for sure. That is my experience at least.

[jczr2]

WOW! I was afraid to post something like this, thinking I was the only one who thought like that.

Hopefully there are more with these feelings. It would make me feel better.

[Sara Violet]

yes I had that too. Almost to the point that is started to question if my TS was just a sexual thing or just dirty. Once I started hormones all those feeling left me.

Just a theory, but maybe its because after orgasm your T levels go up. So with the higher level of T you get a false sense of masculinity.

[jill s]

Exactly how I felt from puberty on into my 30's . Once it was over a wave of guilt and than total put anything to do with gender or arousal or fantasies of being female completely out of my head for a short time. Now almost 50 and I seem to constantly think about gender, it's a continual noise in my head and almost no sexual link to my cross dressing. Frankly I wish it would go back to the other way. I think any strong guilt feeling needs a way to be relived and the mind plays all kinds of tricks on it's self for protection. What is your therapist saying to you about this?

[Sarah...]

Absolutely - I've been there, and for a long time too. It was destructive and caused seriously melancholic and negative attitudes to myself.

I'm not currently on any hormone treatment but those feelings have gone now. I think because I have completely accepted who I am - in fact I'm proud of it.

I wouldn't want those feelings back at all - they stemmed from trying to be someone I'm not.

Thanks for sharing, Rabina.

Sarah...

[karezza]

Rabina,

There are very significant physiological differences between male ejaculation and female orgasm. Both trigger the release of hormones, but they are different and have different affects. The hormones released at the moment of male ejaculation are deadening to the libido and there is a sense of psychic letdown. By contract, female orgasm is soothing, relaxing and invigorating. There is no psychic letdown and women can continue with rolling multiple orgasms for hours.

It is possible for a male to separate ejaculation from orgasm. With practice, you can stop the ejaculatory trigger and allow a wave of orgasmic energy to sweep through you. In this way you experience something very similar to a female orgasm without the letdown of ejaculation. And, yes, you can have these energy orgasms for hours, just like a woman.

I am not familiar with the affects of female hormones on a male, but from some of the responses, it appears they may mitigate the ejaculatory hormone problem.

In the meantime, I would suggest you try orgasm without ejaculation and see how you feel. I love it!

The only book I know of on the subject is The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia, but there are probably others.

http://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets-Should/dp/0062513362/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216931447&sr=1-2

Karezza

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Ladies!!! great topic...

in my humble opinion, this single issue (i am sexually attracted to being a woman) had been the most destructive force in my life...i have seen many therapists, and recently i have done my own research, found an incredible expert tg doctor and tg therapist....and i started hormones last week

i think the whole thing about ("Im a woman trapped in a mans body") is true for many ts girls..the thing is FOR MANY OTHERS there is sexual arousal in and around tg activities..it has NOTHING TO DO WHETHER YOU FEEL YOU ARE TS!!! .

for me...i can recall closing my eyes in the bath and just willing myself to be a girl...i recall sitting in class with my legs crossed pretending i was one of the girls and gettng very aroused at this..i have crossdressed for years..when i see a movie i get aroused pretending to be the girl in the movie (I always loved chic flicks for this reason and it got me lots of dates heh)...i was always attracted to women however when i made love i always pictured myself as the woman..in fact, my sexual nature is very passive and i love to cuddle and hug...over time i found i totally lost interest in sex as a man.

as michle i've been dating men, and i found that i had more sexual pleasure than i ever thought was possible and i never ejaculate with them...(in case your interested its true...men are pigs!)

so if you feel you are ts, pls try to stop worrying about what your penis is doing while you think about your goals and dreams ..i know it caused me alot of confusion

..by the way..i still worry so i know how hard it will be to stop worrying!!!:2c::2c:

too long..so thats my 4 cents!

[Marina]

When I first dressed partially at about 12 and walked around and had my first orgasm, I couldn't undress quickly enough - I felt disgusted wearing high heels.

Then as time wore on I felt more relaxed and undressed slowly, but after orgasm I wanted to be back in male mode ASAP.

Then I reached about 20 and after the deed was done, I undressed quickly but after half an hour or so, I wished I was back enfemme.

By age 30, after the dirty deed, I just wanted to relax a bit, slip off any restraining clothing (e.g. high heels) and chill. Then I felt so content and relaxed I'd continue in my femme mode.

Now at age 40, while enfemme and if I need, I do my business, feel content, feel lazy for a minute or 2 then feel so happy and relaxed en femme. Orgasm used to be an objective, now it's an enhancement to my major pleasure (being myself -dressed)

For me anyway, I reckon now that I'm happy with my dressing so any childish guilt etc. is long gone and when I feel the need to do the dirty deed, I'm still happy with what I'm doing. So I think any past guilt or lack of interest afterwards was a confused (natural) reaction to how I was "conditioned" as a kid.

Don't worry about your reaction to any sexual feelings or doubts - or lack of - just do exactly what you want to do. Relax and enjoy..

Be happy
Marina

[Scotty]

You may experience a LOT of doubt on HRT - the T - blockers did it for me.

The 2nd time around I told myself the end result is what I wanted and to be patient....and I did...

But alas when the Testosterone is gone sometimes those feelings subside or doubt arises...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

scottie..

i would love to have that happen...then what? get off hormones and back comes the feelings??

actually thats a rhetorical question...i kinda anticipate what you are saying and we'll have to see what happens in my case.

one thing i like about this kind of forum is that we are sharing experiences, and i've met a bunch of ts women in the last 6 months and its been very helpful to me...some girls i've talked too have had very similar experiences than you, one of the dr's i've corresponded with believes that is a necessary part of transition for some girls to prove that their "motives are pure" ...of course she also thinks thats driven by how guilty and ashamed many of us have been taught to feel about sexual and gender issues....

[Jena11]

Well, I was sad to hear that people struggeled with this. I have always felt like it was just wrong for me and I want to know the feelings of a female orgazim. Take care. JC

[deja true]

"...Orgasm used to be an objective, now it's an enhancement to my major pleasure (being myself -dressed)..."

And this, I'm thinking, is how it's been for most of us that started dressing early...

The shame is a result of our male condtioning that starts as early as the cradle.

The shame is reinforced to a more or lesser degree from our upbringing. Strict homophobic or transphobic or, hell, anything-phobic lessons from our parents and peers make us less able to handle or accept anything out of the narrow range of our assigned social or sexual role. A wise child, an educated child, an intelligent child rebels from this kind of discriminatory life.

A more enlightened and liberal upbringing should, I think, allow us to be able to see early on that any acivity or life-style or personal choice that harms no one and makes us happy and content, is acceptable and shouldn't be a source of guilt or shame.

Guilt is for the guilty. Think you're doing anything really wrong?

[Rabina32]

Thanks everyone for contributing to this thread. When i first posted it i wasn't sure if anyone would respond or what others would say. To see that others have felt this, is a big relief and has made me come that much closer to understanding this journey that I'm about to embark on.

[Suzy Harrison]

I used to feel that way.

I don't know if I've changed because of my age, or because I'm more comfortable with the way I am. But now the sexual side of it isn't the driving force anymore - and after orgasim I still feel the same.

[Empress Lainie]

I may be different from most or maybe not. I never had any sexual feelings about dressing as the woman I am. I never had the feelings after orgasm that I did not want to stay a woman.

I know from what I have read and in Deidre McCloskey's book, before her transition she would become aroused and relieve herself when crossdressing, I never understood it myself, but is seems fairly common.

I had one glorious multi-orgasm a few months ago for the first and only time, for 10 minutes I had a rolling 7 orgasmic peaks, I think for the first time I understood women's multi-orgasms. Wish it would happen every time but many times I cannot achieve orgasm at all.

[Steph Butterfield]

A common feeling, as a side effect of male orgasm, is that testosterone levels rise rapidly. Once I'd been on an Anti Androgen 9-12 months I lost male orgasm and male sex drive.

At this point I felt sex didn't matter, but soon after this my female sensuality took over and I'm able to feel a warm glow at the sight of a handsome guy.


Stephanie

[AmandaM]

I know a TS who used to find "pleasure" with the women's clothing magazines. After her sex change, she just looks for clothes. So, maybe it's normal?

[Nicole Erin]

After having an "O", the only thing one wants to do is relax.

I think a lot of what is suggested on some texts is that if a person has any sexual feelings about anything, then she is not truely TS. I know it is weird but some believe that a "true" TS should not get turned on over anything.
What a crock.

But you should not worry about your feelings. No one cares about anything after the "O" other than "nappy time!"

[gagirl1]

i'm alot like micheletv when it comes to the arousal part of her post. putting myself in the women's shoes always seems to get me going. not in a crazy way, but enough to get my mind going.
but yeah, as soon as the party is over, i do feel dirty. i start worrying about what it all means and start judging myself. what has really helped, though, has been to look in the mirror and see the makeup i still have on and seeing how fabulous i look and feel enfemme. that comforts me greatly and i calm down and just accept that i enjoyed the experience. the feelings are still very strong, but i am young still and have been dressing for less than 6 months. just wanted to add another supportive person to the list. i stumbled across this post am glad i did. it can be a very lonely feeling. oh, and i might have to check out that book. sounds interesting.

[tvbeckytv]

yep rabina, on the rare occasion i have the boy "O" i feel really rubbish. It was probably as you described for me many years ago, but now i could only describe it as just feeling horrible... not dirty or ashamed, just a bit yukky. this only lasts a few minutes now. But for sure i try to avoid the boy "O" as much as possible.
as michele said, i too only go with men and get my sexual gratification in spades without ever having a male ejaculation. (and no they arnt all pigs, some are adorable)

[Valeria]

I didn't have feelings like that, so I can't really answer this question.

I'd be interested in hearing from someone post everything who used to experience that, to see how they feel immediately after they orgasm.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

adorable pigs?

:heehee:

[tvbeckytv]

i think i can run with that

:cheers:

[Joy Carter]

After reading what you girls all go through, I see I'm in good company. Except I'm not on, or plan to take hormones. I'd like to but it wouldn't go over to well, with the SO. Anyone just on T blockers ? I know from talking to my MD, that low T leads to depression. If I recall that right.

[melissaK]

Fun thread.

One of Ann Vitale's essays (I'm going to be lazy and not look it up) refers to a mtf struggling to stay closeted and using masturbation up to a half dozen times a day to find relief from the CDing/TS urges. Vitale didn't explain why that works as a form of relief, but I know it works for me too. And Karezza's comment that male orgasm kills further sexual interest, corresponds with reports that relief also comes from using T blockers and E which kill traditional male sexual interest. Well, not sure what these observations all mean, but they all do seem to be pieces to the puzzle.

hugs,
'lissa

[karezza]

Hi Lissa,

Good post. It is my contention that male EJACULATION depresses the psyche and contributes to the conflicted feelings many CDs experience. I would like to introduce the idea that male ORGASM can be separated from ejaculation, allowing us to experience sexuality in a way that is very similar to a female. In my opinon, this can be a very significant shift. It can enhance a CD's overall sense of well-being and help us acheive sexual feminization without hormones.

Karezza

[gagirl1]

what are the side effects of an orgasm without ejaculation? could it cause any long term damage?

[karezza]

As far as I know there are no negative long-term affects of male orgasm without ejaculation. This practice is thousands of years old, being a key element of both Tantric spiritual practice, from ancient India, and Taoist medical practice , from ancient China.

In Taoist Chinese medicine, the frequency of male ejaculation should be regulated to enhance and preserve chi (life-force energy). As a male ages, he should ejaculate less and less often. However, sexual stimulation without ejaculation should be an integral part of daily life. By learning how to orgasm without ejaculation, a male can pump up his chi.

There have been some recent studies that link frequency of male orgasm with slightly lower rates of prostate cancer. But these studies assume that orgasm is inextricably linked to ejaculation. It isn't clear if the affect is due to the increased blood flow of arousal and increased energy flow of orgasm, or from the emptying of the prostate. The separation of male orgasm from ejaculation is exclusively an Eastern idea and it is not addressed by Western medicine. The best source for research about this is probably Chinese medicine, but I'm not aware of any references. I should look into it.

For our purposes, the practice can help us maintain the mental high of crossdressing and glimpse the experience of female sexuality and female orgasm. As a minimum, I think all men should pay attention to their energy state in relation to their frequency of ejaculation. Notice things like mental accuity, vitality, intellectual curiosity, easy of sexual arousal, attentiveness to your partner, etc. Notice how precipitously these things crash after ejaculation and how long it takes to recover, which will depend on your age. After a while, you will get a sense of your personal optimum frequency of ejaculation.

Karezza

[helenr]

Surely everyone has unique sensations.I have been on spiro,an anti androgen as most know, for well over a year. The biggest change I see -as relates to this discussion-is that I don't really have 'typical' male urges. That may be a vague statement,but I mean seeing sexy images, getting dressed up in pretty lingerie, doesn't produce a typical erection. If I want to 'pleasure myself' it requires a fair amount of concentration, assuming a female pose, and keep the little boy headed south. No more orgasm with testosterone, just a little prostate fluid. I haven't tried nor desire an 'old fashioned f%^& but I doubt I could remain erect. This is a predictible result of anti androgens. So, if that is important to you and to a significant other, think carefully about meds. I value the multiple improvements I see and feel and it helps me cope with the lifelong stress of being a transvestite, now maybe more of an intergendered person. I don't have any attraction to men except maybe in some fantasy sex act. I love women but want to be 'one of them' which clearly I can't, but I prefer to care for them as beings, not sex objects.
I don't know if going off meds would bring up the T level or not. probably,but I am happy as I am. best wishes to all, helen

[primaelgen]

As far as I know there are no negative long-term affects of male orgasm without ejaculation. This practice is thousands of years old, being a key element of both Tantric spiritual practice, from ancient India, and Taoist medical practice , from ancient China.

These statements needs to be qualified.

I too have had the letdown and guilt after ejaculation. When I encountered Mantak Chia's book, there was a part of me that secretly wanted to learn the multiple-orgasms as a way to experience female orgasms. It was a source of fascination to me, almost the same way I've lusted over women before. Since then, I've been experimenting with different practices.

The material in Mantak Chia's book was originally meant for spiritual cultivation. Without going further into that, I have since met many different people who say that for spiritual cultivation, Chia's method is crap and it is dangerous. The reason is that when you use the visualization methods outlined in Chia's book, it forces things into places it is not supposed to. In my own experience, depending on what I would do, I would have headaches or skin along my back that looked like it had been burned.

The real method used by those "ancient Taoists" start with just sitting there in mindful awareness of nothing. The theory goes, when you are present in the current moment, supposedly your spirit is fixed to the here and now. That alone fills up the chi in the body, and once filled, what is known as "pre-heaven chi" starts to fill up; once that is filled up, it will naturally overflow in a way that is described by Chia's "microcosmic orbit". To force the visualization is to create false expectations and false sense of "chi".

As for using it to explore female orgams and female sexuality, I've played with a lot of interesting things. I also have a friend who's played with this and was actually able to achieve the multiple-O stuff. I have no idea what my friend did. For me, the lusting after the experience of female orgasms was itself enough to short-circuit the process and have me ejaculate. I have found that if I practice mindfulness while being aroused, allowing the thoughts and feelings of lust to float by, and physically relax everything that gets tensed up (you know how it is, muscular tension starts occurring during arousal -- not just the groin and thighs, but also arms, backs, whatever) I can significantly extend the amount of time I am aroused. Sometimes the feeling flows through my body, but I actually get less hard. Occasionally, I've had the feeling that I've ejaculated, but nothing actually happened. Those usually happened when I'm asleep.

I have found that being able to maintain mindfulness is effected by various stimulants. Caffeine/Gaurano and products containing sodium benzoate makes me too twitchy for this to work. If I have not ejaculated in a while and something arouses me, caffeine usually tips me over while I'm asleep. Taurine (in energy drinks) does not usually do this if I've done a full workout that day. Leutine (also in energy drinks) will actually increase erection without necessarily increase sexual tension.

I've also been experimenting with doing this while being "tucked", but I have a feeling this may actually be a pretty dangerous thing to do.

Now, the feeling of the energy is different depending on what I'm visualizing, what stimulants I'm having, whether I'm masturbating alone, or I'm actually with someone. When I orgasm, I feel waves of energy or something that just explodes out. When I use Chia's techniques, the energy feels like it burns, like acid. These days, when I simply maintain presence and mindfulness, the orgasmic energy feels cooler, and somewhat sweeter. Ejaculation with orgasms that I get with fantasizing about being a woman feels markedly different than ejaculation with orgasms while I'm fantasizing about making love to a woman. It is also different when I fantasize about being a woman making love to a man. And just for kicks, I tried fantasizing about being a man making love to another man. The orgasmic feelings I got were different in each cases.

When I actually have sex with a woman, it feels as if the woman's orgasmic energy softens and mixes with my own. If we're just cuddling while sleepy, it is easy to get into that trance state and from there, I can clearly percieve the woman's sexual energy -- very soft, very soothing -- mixing with my own. The resulting energy in me is an unique mix of the two that I have not been able to replicate on my own. Maybe I need to be on some sort of HRT for that to happen, but I don't plan on it, so I wouldn't know.


For our purposes, the practice can help us maintain the mental high of crossdressing and glimpse the experience of female sexuality and female orgasm. As a minimum, I think all men should pay attention to their energy state in relation to their frequency of ejaculation. Notice things like mental accuity, vitality, intellectual curiosity, easy of sexual arousal, attentiveness to your partner, etc. Notice how precipitously these things crash after ejaculation and how long it takes to recover, which will depend on your age. After a while, you will get a sense of your personal optimum frequency of ejaculation.


I've had a lot of luck just simply maintaining mindfulness. In which, noticing mental acuity, vitality, etc. is an excellant way to do it.

I've also been able to tame the guilt, doubts, loneliness, shame and fear through the same mindfulness meditation. By taming, I mean a relief of suffering; these feelings still arises (and like all things that arise, they also fade away). I actually do enjoy my masculinity as well, so I plan on sticking with this body while exploring whatever feminine side I have. However, I figured this particular meditation would be useful to anyone who wants a way to deal with those feelings.

When I described the method to people, invariably, it gets compared to cognitive therapy. However, the emphasis is very, very different. In cognitive therapy, you work with the therapist to become aware of feelings that arises in you, whether they are triggered by circumstances or they just happened to come along. Since the therapist is a trained professional making a (deserved) living listening you, the greater emphasis is on that interaction.

However, what makes cognitive therapy is not talking but the "insight". That is a direct result of being mindful. People don't get insight into their own self because they avoid the feelings that arises, or cling to feelings that fade, and so their awareness become confused instead of being centered in the present moment.

The method is pretty simple. In general, most of the destructive feelings evolve from fear, specifically fear of loss, generally from the birth separation trauma, and later layered while the child grows older. We cling to the past when our moms make everything all right. As adults, it really is up to us to be our own moms. If you imagine, a mother with a crying child. That child doesn't know how to talk, so it just knows how to cry. So the mom picks the child up and just holds the child and listens. No expectation, no "waiting for the other person to talk", no getting distracted by the laundry that needs to be done, or the TV, or random thoughts, just mindful listening.

That child is in you. You become a mother to your own self. You allow your own motherly feelings to listen to yourself. When fear, or anger, or loneliness hits you, you can catch yourself, and become aware of the feelings, and embrace that painful, hurt part of you and just *listen* to that part of you. You can also trigger these feelings by using regression techniques. One effective method is to take a piece of paper, take a No. 2 pencil (and *not* a pen), and use your non-dominant hand to write a letter to your younger self. You probably have not had to concentrate on writing since you were a little kid. Feelings will get stirred. Memories you thought you forgot will rise to the surface. It's up to you to make the most of it and mindfully listen to yourself, gain insight about yourself, relieve the suffering in your own past.

Interestingly enough, you don't just have to mindfully listen to yourself. You can do that with other people. Your calm starts to infect them. I think that is probably what cognitive therapists do most for their patients -- just listening.

I didn't make this technique up. I found it in Thich Nhat Hanh's Anger. I had a lot of anger in me and the book caught my attention. Reading the first couple chapters and trying out the meditation was able to get me a lot of relief that first day. It's been interesting every day since, to keep remembering to be mindful to myself and to my surroundings.

To wrap up my reply, this same mindfulness technique works while being sexually aroused. Combined with relaxed, deep breathing ... it feels pretty good.

PrimaelGen

[PaulaPts]

In my early years I would feel a bit guilty after orgasm. I guess that was just part of my generation, I was deviating from "normal". SO, when the pleasure portion ebbed the guilt crept in.

As I've gotten more comfortable with myself I don't feel that way anymore. I'm just more relaxed and feel the need to lay next to my man for a while.

[Lisa_M]

Rabina, thank you so much for posting such a great thread! For the longest time I have had the same feelings, this lead to me always questioning what was wrong with me? it has lead me to a roller coaster of sorts emotionally for my entire life. I would wonder why, whats wrong with me, why do these feelings come and go? After accepting myself for who I am I would still get these feels. I am just so glad to see that I am not alone on this, and that alone has greatly helped me get one step closer to the girl I know I truly am. Thank you all!

[Siobhan Marie]

Rabina honey, I just want to say a big thank you for posting such a great and thought provoking thread.

Even though I'm not in a position to be able transition, I feel like I'm cheating on myself when I have orgasm or ejaculate. It doesn't feel right and never will even though I need a physical release.

[Genifer Teal]

Remember, we are the ones who more often fall asleep right after sex. Our bodies are designed to shut down after sex. It makes sense that our brains do the same and loose whatever thoughts were previously there.

Gen

Sometime my logical side wins the battle and briefly surfaces.

[ann stef]

Now that I am older, the feeling lasts only about 5 min. the rst of the day & night, my female feelings stay with me.

[Siobhan Marie]

Remember, we are the ones who more often fall asleep right after sex. Our bodies are designed to shut down after sex. It makes sense that our brains do the same and loose whatever thoughts were previously there.

Gen

Sometime my logical side wins the battle and briefly surfaces.

You might be right there xx :hugs:

[Fleur]

This is such an interesting thread girls, I wish I had more time to read. I am still dealing with this and really need a solution to it. Usually after 24hrs Im back to my usual girlie self but during that time it aint the best. Im not so sure just time alone will cure it. There has to be something more radical for gurls that go through this. Can be quite agonizing and Im getting sick of it really.

[Andi]

Now that I am older, the feeling lasts only about 5 min. the rest of the day & night, my female feelings stay with me.

I'm 64 and this is true for me also. Orgasm takes me longer in fem mode, (not possible in male mode) so I just give up after it happens. I put all my stuff away, clean off my makeup and resume male mode only to have the fem drive return 5 or 10 minutes later. Most of the time I just dress without the physical release to avoid this phenomenon. :hugs:

[vivian33]

WOW!!! i am soo relieved to hear that this sounds like sort of a normal thing with other people....

When i dress it is such a powerful sexual feeling that i almost have to have an orgasm, but afterwards it seems like i want nothing to do with "vivian" and feel sort of turned off to it...until somewhere between 15min - 2 hours later

[kimberly swann]

I have been feeling the same way for years thank you for this thread i know i am not the only one

[Clarissa]

I have the same feeling too. When I dressed, I had a very strong urge to orgasm and after I came, I immediately looked at myself in the mirror and felt disgusted at what I saw. A man wearing ladies clothe and makeup.

Also made an appointment for a makeover, but I orgasmed and cancelled the appointment becuz I felt stupid.

2 yrs ago I threw away all my male clothes and have been full time ever since. Even if I feel guilty I have no more male clothes to wear except shimmery satin skirts and satin blouses. Yummy! =)

[Donnadcd]

It's good to know I'm not alone - for whatever the reason.

My real challenge is to get started transitioning.

[Empress Lainie]

I keep track of O's in my journal, orignally did it to see if some medications years ago had any effects on it.

One thing i have noticed just lately, is that when I quit saw palmetto for 2 weeks because I was out and didn't get any more during that time. I had 4 orgasms in five days after ther first week.

Just for the pattern, up to two years ago my annual orgasms divided by 365 was for 20 years equal to 57%. It fell to 25% then to 16%. This year it stands at 21%.

I don't think it is simply age, but the increasing amount of phyto-estrogen I am taking.

I get nothing sexually from my dressing and living as a woman, it is just who I really am. Also since my living as a woman for 14months now, I find that sex with men is now something I can actually think about doing. I have never as a man been gay or even liked men in general.

[Patricia1]

I'll just add my ditto to the prevalent post-ejaculation letdown syndrome expressed here. And of course the difference between ejaculation and primary orgasm is quite profound. Some years ago I had an extraordinary multiple orgasmic experience that went on for some thirty minutes or so - it was positively mind bending and very fulfilling. Orgasms are somewhat Wagnerian in nature (think of Tristan & Isolde). The music pulsates with desire and fervor but never reaches fulfillment. For men, multiple orgasms are rare because we simply want to get done and don't take the time to enjoy the experience. In the years since my "discovery" I try frequently to slow down the experience and live fully in it before ending in the letdown of release. I think it would be better for us if we just held on.

[wishonastar]

It does take the desire to be female away for a while, so one wonders if it is just a sex thing and I am sure for some that is all it is.

There is a reason for the "down" effect. My guess is that the Male had to be aggressive with females in the cave man days. Females had little need for sex since it did nothing for them. They had the instinct to have children and that is about all. Even today women rarely have an orgasm from just "normal" sex.


So once coupled, then the male needs to calm down to recover so he can chase the saber tooth cats away. If males were multi orgasmic we would not have lasted as a race!

[StaceyJane]

I've gotten to where i don't even want to have sex anymore. I only do it for my wife. i really could go the rest of my life without sex as a male but I do think about what it would be like to have sex as a female.

Stacey :)

[TerryTerri]

Hey All,
Here's my 2 cents and experience with this issue. I, as others have stated, would feel pretty disgusted with myself right after ejaculation when I had any femme things on. Unfortunately, that made me think for too many years that I wasn't Transgendered, just perverted. Anyway, Monday evening of this week I was out of town at a hotel (Hilton suite, it was VERY nice) on a business trip. I wasn't able to do much femme stuff. I did get to paint up my toenails and finger nails and wear femme silky slip pajamas. Anyway, I masterbated twice (God this is a TMI I Swear) and it didn't even phase me at the time. It wasn't till later did I realize that usually I'd get disgusted feelings after masterbating.
I think much of it has to do with a slow but sure growth in accepting all this within myself. It was an interesting and good trip. Learned some very good things, some are pretty scary too. I got this sort of "THUNK" on the head about how real, honest and no longer deniable my desire to be a female is. It's kind of scary for me because this is really real. On the other hand, it is exciting and it makes me feel really good inside. Don't exactly know how to descibe it. But, many of you probably know this one too. I don't think I'm alone with this.
Okay, didn't mean to ramble.

[Miss Tessa]

Here's the Tee.

The feelings do return after you quit blockers and hormones. I was off hormones for a good three months and now I just got back on within the last three weeks age. I feel much better.

However, during that period of quiting the hormones and blockers I wasn't sexual in a man's way as I was a couple years ago prior to transition and really getting in touch with myself.

And the thing the girl said about being sexual aroused about being a girl, there is a term for that. It's called Autogynophilia and it's another form of Transsexuality.But it is not classic transsexuality or Late-Onset Transsexuality, though it can have a Late-Onset in life when one really starts to get in touch with themselves and transition.


I stopped being sexual in a man's sense around the time of my transition about two years ago. And hormones and blockers really helped me find my womanhood.

Sex just doesn't mean what it used to for me.

I have a TS girlfriend who has no tits and doesn't take hormones or blockers yet but has been dressing a long time and isn't really a CD and her sexual appetite drives me up the wall.

I've found a nice gangster guy I really like and he's not nearly as bad as she is when it comes to having a male-type of sex drive.
If my genetals are being stimulated I like to let it linger and don't like to get done quick like a male's point of view is because when I kum I don't like the feelings and associations the testosterone spike gives me.......
A male's point of view is they want that orgasm and they want it fast.
The girl said women tend to be in the moment and just enjoy the sex that's what I like because if I ejaculate I'll get that testosterone spike and that messes with my hormones and blockers.

I used to love to penetrate other women and T girls. These days I find I like to be more passive than I used to.
What the other girl mentioned about the release of testosterone during a genetic male's orgasm is true, that's why I'm more passive now.
I wuv my estradiol and spironolactone!!!

[Ashleyxxx]

I have dressed since i was a boy of 10 or 11 in my teens i went the whole hog i was pretty but in my family i couldnt tell anyone now im 48 and have a desire to dress in full i am married but seperated and when my wife and i made love in my head i was her lesbian lover and i got to know her body intimatley when she had an orgasm i was ther with her in spirit and i was insanely jealous, inside me there is this beautiful sexual woman who knows intimately what the female orgasm is like by proxy the only solace i could get was that she played with my nipples like they were the doorway to the inner me and i was that girl i cant make love without feeling feminine
when she was pregnant i started to produce a sort of milk i started lactating in sympathy with her condition if i ever became a woman those sensations would have to be a must a female orgasm would be the icing on the cake im sorry i dont have any femme pics but i will soon as im going for a total makeover and will post for all to see and discuss

[Miss Tessa]

Oh she played with your nipples.



I LOOOOOOVE my nipples and how sensetive they are. But I have breasts.

[Tina_Someday]

Wow I don't really have anything of value to add to this. Just wanted to count me in. I always did the same thing after masturbation. When I was done I wanted to play loud music and look out if somebody comes near me I am ready to fight. I guess it was just the T rate rising for a while. I am happy to read everybodies stories so I know that I am not alone and the only person having these feelings!!

[tanyalynn51]

I am sooo greatful for this thread. I know that early on, as a kid, I almost always orgasmed when dressed. but, as the years went on, I stayed dressed for longer and longer periods of time. As I came to deal with the growing evidence that I am a woman inside, it became less of a problem. I have not yet taken hormones- I think that this has come about on its own.

[tanya1976]

Hi my name is Rabina. I have been in therapy for about 4 months now, to deal with my TG issues. I have not started to transition yet, but hope to start electrolysis in Dec. and hormones soon after that. My goal is to completely transition over the next few years. My question is after I have an orgasm, either with my partner or by myself, the feelings of wanting to be a woman are gone for an hour or two. After I feel sort of dirty, or like i have lied to myself or my partner. After 1-2 hours the feelings come back and all has been returned to normal (well if wanting to change ones gender is normal). Just wondering if this is normal to feel this and if any others have had the same experience.

I thought this was a very brave post. I too experience similar feelings after orgasm although I've never been sure what to make of them. I mean I usually experience a similar sensation after so called 'normal' (whatever that is) sex to so :brolleyes:God knows.
The only thing I do know is the feelings pass so I no longer associate them negative associations. I just go on the 'what goes up, must come down' principle. I think the I've been crossdressing for has also helped in that now I know that however I feel it will only be a matter of time before I'm slipping back into stockings and heels:), as a teenager though yeah...some horrendous times...:sad:

[Yazna]

This same kind of feeling it happing to me most the time...I lost totally interest in dressing up.

[AmandaM]

Wow! I didn't know that. I tried that too for years. It seemed to work, but I couldn't keep up, haha, with the feelings. They kept coming back. And frankly, I was getting tired. LOL. So, I gave up.


Fun thread.

One of Ann Vitale's essays (I'm going to be lazy and not look it up) refers to a mtf struggling to stay closeted and using masturbation up to a half dozen times a day to find relief from the CDing/TS urges. Vitale didn't explain why that works as a form of relief, but I know it works for me too. And Karezza's comment that male orgasm kills further sexual interest, corresponds with reports that relief also comes from using T blockers and E which kill traditional male sexual interest. Well, not sure what these observations all mean, but they all do seem to be pieces to the puzzle.

hugs,
'lissa

[mklinden2010]

Think about Darwin's ideas here...

What would be the evolutionary advantage to "exhausting" the male after orgasm?

And why would the female be multiorgasmic once she got her motor properly warmed up?

Ahhhh.

So the female could scamper off to find more males to have sex with while Nork would snooze away the afternoon.

Think about it. Think about those big, one room caves...

We think orgasm is "the" payoff; nature dictates it's really the transfer of DNA - and lots of it.

If you have guy plumbing, your body and mind temporarily shut off... If you're a woman, the party is just getting started!

No offense, but you can only play the cards you currently have, er, in hand.

Sex, however, is very much in our minds, especially, it seems, the female mind. Odds are good that as one thinks and practices the female role, that their sexual feelings and reactions become more mental than before.

I agree with the earlier posts. You can learn how to do things differently, very differently.

After that, it's as easy as falling off a bicycle - over and over...

[gagirl1]

Think about Darwin's ideas here...

What would be the evolutionary advantage to "exhausting" the male after orgasm?

so the female can eat his head of course!