Paranoia

[Beth-Lock]

Are people laughing at me or am I paranoid? My therapist tells me I must be getting paranoid when I say it is hurtful when people laugh at me when I am out in public dressed, or even unisex in some cases. (It certainly does not happen all the time, but just in a couple of instances fairly recently.) Maybe i am just too sensitive. Obviously, it is real, and not paranoia, but then are therapists any use in this sort of thing, or is it better to go to a board like this, and seek one's own therapy, on a catch as catch can basis?
(My family has had the opposite problem with physical doctors, not believing they were as sick as they were. One member of my family was given pep talks on enjoying meals, having a drink of wine and eating nicer streaks, etc., and sent to a psychiatrist and put on anti-depressants, right up until they died of the by then terminal cancer that was causing their discomfort in the first place.)

[DonnaT]

Been there. Let 'em laugh, I'm just bringing a little joy out in the world.;)

[trannie T]

People out in public often laugh. Much of the time they are laughing with their friends or at a joke. Whenever I can hear them I fear they are laughing at me. I still go out, I still enjoy going out. What little embarassment I suffer is outweighed by the fun I have.

[tamarav]

Embarrassment is highly over-rated, although I think I remember every instance. At some point or another you simply have to ignore others and do what is best for you. If you love it, do it!

You are only paranoid if you believe that everyone is talking/thinking of you , and they aren't.

Your sis,

Tami

[Jonianne]

Hi Beth,

You might deal with it like my wife says she deals with guilt. She will say, Mr. Guilt, come on in and set down, but I'm going to do what I know I need to do anyway. Then, before long, she looks around and Mr. Guilt is gone.

Hugs,

Joni

[MJ]

i think it's just you ...now if they point a finger at you and laugh then is a sure bet it's you !!! . you know what i get read every day do i care anymore no . i just enjoy myself and go about my business .
apart from that is there something you can change about your appearance that may help ? how do you dress in public ? maybe there's nothing wrong with your look . i did the same thing it can't hurt to give yourself a review from time to time..

[Karren H]

The only time I've ever heard anuone laugh near me in public I was shopping in Macy's enfemme and these two women just broke out laughing... When I looked their way they were facing the other way looking at a dress and pointing at it..

Everyone's life is so busy they could are less what you wear... So just go out and wear what ever you want and don't worry about what others think... I sure don't.. :)

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Beth,
The girls are right. Just get on and enjoy yourself. Most of the time like Karen said, they are laughing at something else but because you feel so self conscious you think everything is directed at you.
And if it turns out that they are directing their humour at you and having a laugh at your expense dont worry. We have all at some time been laughted at or mocked and it isn't a very nice feeling, but to be honest it says more about the person doing it than it does about you. Some people are just naturally immature and unworldly, feel sorry for them I do.
You look fine from your avatar, you have obviously taken time and trouble to look feminine so dont let it be a waste of time, enjoy it otherwise it has been a waste of effort.
Take care
Bev

[abundantly_me]

I totally agree with Tamaray
At some point or another you simply have to ignore others and do what is best for you. If you love it, do it!

Just be confident in yourself!

[Emily Anderson]

Karren said it best! Most of the time when we hear snorts of laughter, or other sounds that we think are directed at us, most of the time it turns out to be something completely disconnected.

Life is too short to be bothered by others thoughts/feelings.

Just be yourself and enjoy!

[Nikki A.]

Only teen girls can read us and laugh. Most others are too polite even if they notice

[Beth-Lock]

I think the most hurtful thing was my therapist accusing me of being paranoid, which in their world, is a very serious diagnosis indeed. And, I am sick and tried of doctors/professionals telling me I have some other problem than what I really have, physical or otherwise. If they don't believe me, they may miss an important diagnosis, and they need not rub that in by telling me to my face that they don't believe me. I guess I am venting a bit, but it is extremely annoying, and borders on patient abuse.

[Melora]

As you are brave enough to even go out.. And I havent even taken that big "step" yet.. You need to listen to the experts who have posted on this thread before me!
I have always read that you should just be tough and deal with it as their opinions will not hurt you untill it actually becomes a REAL problem.
Good luck to you.

[Glenda]

Please don't be offended, but I think you are being a little too sensitive. My immediate thought when you said your therapist said that you were just being paranoid was positive. Would you have preferred that she said that they were laughing at you and make you even more paranoid? Karen was being truthful when she said most people are just too busy and wrapped up in their own world to even give us much notice at all. I'm sure the vast majority of instances when you hear laughter while dressed enfemme are just people enjoying each other's company and having fun. It has nothing to do with you at all.

And if someone does laugh at you.........so what? At least you've given them something to smile about. That can't be all bad. I've always said that if you don't pay my rent then you don't have much say in what I do. So far, no one has wanted to pay my way so I just continue being me.

I think it is important to remember that while we are out en femme, we are often (if not always) self conscious about how we are perceived by others unless we are with a safe group of supportive friends. That is natural. Just be yourself and enjoy your time out.

[noname]

Just remember, if ( and I say if ) someone is laughing, it shows a real lack of maturity.

[Mitch23]

I always used to assume that they were laughing at me. When I'm out drab, I often hear the same laughter sounds and now realise that people do laugh a lot and it's rarely directed at me

mitch