Joanne has come out

[joanne lavin]

Hi there everyone. I'm new to the forum but am glad I found this site. My first thread is a request for help and advice.
I have dressed for quite a number of years but my wife has never know about my feminine side. I have found from reading many threads, that it's often better to unload this secret to ones spouse rather than get found out.
I have at last reached that stage and would gladly accept any HELPFULL advice on how to appraoch this delicate moment in my marraige.
I know some of you may condem me for living this lie for so long but I supposse you could say I was " Just waiting for the right moment "
Look forward to any replies.

Joanne


Hi everyone. Well I have at last come out to my wife about my crossdressing.
After reading many of your replies to my earlier post and reading many, many other C/D with the same question as mine, I took the plunge.
I must admit that up to the very last moment, I nearly pulled out.
I waited for the right moment to tell my wife, a week-end away and a quiet day at home.
My wife, who is a school counsellor, took the news very well, although upset that I had not told her sooner but had been more worried about my approach to the subject " I have something I must tell you darling ". She thought that there was some very bad news about to be poured on her.
We talked for hours after I told her, there were tears from both of us, along with quite a few laughs. After a while she asked to meet Joanne, so I changed and return the newly realeased " Joanne ".
Her reaction was mixed, amazed how good I looked but critical about my dress sense and above all my " Bust " size:o latter that day, we even went for a short ride in the car.
Even when we went to bed, minus Joanne, we talked until the wee small hours. and the next day, and the next.
Since then we have been out shopping for Joanne, new bra's skirts etc.
I'ts been so unbelievable that Joanne has now become a part of our lives in such a good way. I know we are only at the start of possible a long journey, and I only hope we are not going too far, too quick that it all might turn to custard but for now, i'ts just such a fabulous feeling being OUT.
I thank you all once more and I am forever grateful that I found crossdressers.com.
I will keep you posted about my journey now and then, until, BYE

Love Joanne

[Jonianne]

Hi Joanne,

I am so glad things have worked out well so far. I do want to caution you to be prepared for your wife's feelings to change back and forth. Even though I told my wife long before we got married and she has been very supportive, there are times she needs space from the crossdressing and she needs to know she doesn't "have" to be a part of it, for me to know that she loves me.

Hopefully things will continue just fine and be sure to always shower her with love and respect as she is the love of your life.

Hugs,

Joni

[TSchapes]

I do want to caution you to be prepared for your wife's feelings to change back and forth. Even though I told my wife long before we got married and she has been very supportive, there are times she needs space from the crossdressing and she needs to know she doesn't "have" to be a part of it, for me to know that she loves me.

I agree with Jonianne. I have found out in the past that when I have come out to various people, that once I do, I have to let it go and not push it with them. It's kinda like a soap bubble that you want to keep from falling to the floor and popping, you have to lightly nudge it back up.

So please go slow, enjoy it, but don't let this be the only thing. Show her that the male side is still there and wants to still do the things you've done in the past. This will smooth out the transition and make your relationship all the more special.

Love, Tracy

[DawnL]

Sounds like you handled it well and your wife took it well. I wish you continued good relations and sharing.

[Angie G]

Joanne that's great news I know you wish you had done this sooner. I know I do. Just keep leting the beautiful woman of you how much you love her and cherish her hun. :hugs:
Angie

[stevie b]

I am really pleased for you both, what a great result. Being a councellor must of helped her to see the positives and how happy it makes you. Have a great time together all three of you.:D
xx

[RylieCD]

Joanne, you handled it well. I do want to forewarn you like everyone else has so far to tread lightly. This is still alot for our SOs to handle and there are good days and bad. We have been living with this for most of our lives and may not understand it ourselves. So when we decide to inform our SOs it is like dumping this large pile of poo in their lap, This is something that does affect them and they never considered this ever to be a possibility. they never thought they would know a CD let alone be married to one. My wife thought I was cheating (never!).

[Staciej]

Hi Joanne,

I am so glad things have worked out well so far. I do want to caution you to be prepared for your wife's feelings to change back and forth. Even though I told my wife long before we got married and she has been very supportive, there are times she needs space from the crossdressing and she needs to know she doesn't "have" to be a part of it, for me to know that she loves me.

Hopefully things will continue just fine and be sure to always shower her with love and respect as she is the love of your life.

Hugs,

Joni
yes great advice also let her have her husban the man she married. I still ask my wife is it ok fore stace to come out. So she knows I understand she maired a man not stacie and not to make her unconfy.She likes Stacie even so sometimes more then ( the not ) real me .

[DonnaT]

Congratulations.

And I agree, take baby steps, and avoid the 'pink fog' or 'kid in the candy store" trap(s).

Keep tuned to your wife's feelings. Don't keep asking her how she feels though, she could, if so inclined, become exasperated.

Make it fun for both of you, if possible.

[connie johnson]

that is great for you. i'm happy for you. my wife is supportive also. but one trap i almost fell into was asking if i could dress. she had already told me i could wear whatever i wanted when we were home. i started asking each time if i could until she made it clear to me again i could whenever i wanted to at home. sometimes i can be real dense in the head and not leave well enough alone. go with the flow and don't try to rush it too soon.

have fun.:c9: