What to do?

[Karri M]

Well ladies, I am looking for a little advice! I'm 35 and at a point of not knowing how to handle my dressing. I'm in a good relationship with a very understanding and supportive woman, i have a 10yr old son, a good job, but am not able to express myself as much as i would like. I have been dressing since i was 10. I don't know when the last time i wore male underwear, i shave my body every other day, my toenails are always painted, and more and more i want to present as a woman. My problems are i live in a small town of about 4000 where crossdressing would not be acceptable and what would my son say. More and more i want to dress the minute i get home from work, i just feel so much more comfortable when i am dressed. I just dont know how my son would handle it. I dont want to confuse him or hurt him, so do i just hide it until he's old enough to move out, or just use the time when he's not home to dress. Any advice anyone?

[Di]

We live in a small town as well....so we take lil trips out and about. My pov is your son is only 10....and you live in a small town on top of that. And unless you want to be 24/7 work, friends and family it would not be right to have your son keep your secret....I feel that would be too much to ask...........Peer pressure and everything else our kids go through...not wanting to feel different.And how could he have friends over ect.....it just would not be good.
Try to set up times to dress when your family will be away and just work it in best you can. Just my :2c:

[girl_in_pantyhose]

I live in a small town and i hate it! Everyone knows everyone. I head out to tampa which is the closest big city at 65 miles away.

As for your son you have a great opportunity to shape the views of others on the topic of CD's and TS. BUT, remember! Kids are not STUPID! They can pick up on anything. Plus they like to explore. So your closet may not be as safe as you think. without coming right out and telling him maybe you should do some probing by asking him questions on his view on CD's and TS. If he asks you if you are a CD you might reply, "I don't know yet, maybe I should try it out and if i was would you still love me?".

Also including him in you decisions is a key role in making him feel apart of the family.

Well that is the best i could come up with! Good Luck

[DeeDeeB]

I was fortunate that I was able to purge when I met my wife (only had a few frillies anyhow), and suppress my urges until after my son moved out on his own, 20 years later. I'm sure he suspects/knows about it by now, but we've not discussed it, and I don't see why we should. There are things that can be personal. I would imagine you don't discuss what goes on in the bedroom with him or anyone else for that matter. Everyone's situation is different, but I would keep a low profile for now and see how it plays out. :2c:

Dee :fairy1:

PS: I live an a rural area of 200 or so within a mile. There's one way out of my road, and it's past the biggest gossip in the neighborhood. I keep things pretty much at home.

Oh, and have you considered summer camp?

[Angie G]

For years I had to hide it the kids can't know the wife can't know. Well now the wife knows and the kids are on there own. and still don't know. When they are over I don't dress outward I do wear my girl underpants and I give the weekends to my wife as her husband but still have my panties on. And that works for me. So just relax and enjoy what you have going for you now hun.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Karri,
There are differing views on whether or not to tell children and their are good arguments from all camps. However, I do feel that Di hit the nail on the head. Your son is 10 years old, very impressionable and will want to fetch friends home etc. You know your son better than anyone but do you feel it is fair to burden him with something that he may very well not understand. There is also the chance that even if he did understand he would feel awkward sharing this truth with his peers and so not fetch friends home for fear of ridicule.

If you get an opportunity to dress whilst he is at school then do it. If you have an understanding wife then you already have a lot more freedom than most ladies on this site have.

I for one would count my blessings and for the time being sacrifice the full time bit until my son was old enough to deal with it.

I have seen CDs in similar predicaments to yours who have divuldged all and bitterly regretted it because despite the fact that they did it for more freedom to dress, it has actually had the opposite desired effect. Count your blessings and be patient and I am sure things will pan out in the end.
Bev

[abundantly_me]

If you feel the need to be more you, I think you should take a little me time, meaning go to a neighboring city for the weekend (think mini vacation) and go femme 24/7 this may somehow release your needs, which for now you have to hold back and perhaps this could add some balance within yourself.

[Sam-antha]

Little real advice from me I am afraid. It is necesary to work your dressing into the family schedule of being out and you must also be very, very careful that there is no unexpected return home by any of them.
Careful too of your wardrobe, sons pick up on smll things, like toenails even.
Small town produces similar probs to mine with a pop not so different to yours. City visits are the only answer and since your partner supports (Lucky you)then city visits are not so difficult. Overnight in some hotel is the ideal.

[Emily Anderson]

Bring up your son, and keep your crossdressing out of his life.

It's not his problem!

[Jonianne]

Hi Karri,


I'm in a good relationship with a very understanding and supportive woman

I really like Bev's advice. I think you will be so thankful in the future that you did bide your time and allow your son to get older before coming out. You have a rare gift of having a supportive wife and I know it must be really hard to hold back, but in just about everything we do, we have to wait until the time is right for things to work out properly.

Just hang in there and I know you will find ways of expressing your femme self within the restraints you have. Anxiously await for the time when you will have more freedom. You will be glad you did.

Hugs,

Joni

[CD Susan]

My exwife was not supportive of my cd'ing and we divorced because of this. At the time of the divorce my ex told our son who was 9 years old at the time that I was a cd. She also told all of our relatives and she let me know that she did. We had a shared custody arrangement so I had ample time to enjoy my hobby with no interuptions. When my son turned 16 he told me what his mother had told him about me when he was 9. He was in total acceptance of it and told me he would always love me no matter what kind of clothes I chose to wear. I think he handled this with a great deal of maturity and I am proud of him. I think that it was wrong for my ex to burden him with this at such an early age and I feel sad that he dealt with this for 7 years before he made it known to me that he knew about my dressing. My ex was a very spitefull woman and did not care who she hurt.

[Emily Anderson]

Susan, I hear you loud and clear!

Despite what some parents want to ingrain in their children's minds, they are humans, and they will form their own opinions, based on their own perceptions.

I'm sure you've been a good parent to your son, and I'm happy he can see through the BS.

[RitaCD]

Susan, there you go telling my story again. If I didn't know better I would think we had married the same woman but that couldn't be. My ex told everyone that would listen. Friends, family, kids, and you know what. Now she is gone and they all treat me the same as always.

[Nicole Erin]

Susan, there you go telling my story again. If I didn't know better I would think we had married the same woman but that couldn't be. My ex told everyone that would listen. Friends, family, kids, and you know what. Now she is gone and they all treat me the same as always.

All our sisters who worry what their family/friends/whoever would think, I wish they could read what you posted there.

Besides, what did the ol lady have for ammo after she blabbed? Nothing.

[Karri M]

First of all, I would like to say thanks to all the ladies that gave me advice. This is matter that i take very seriously and would never want to hurt my son in any way, i have also been thinking long and hard on this topic for quite a while and for the time being I will continue to keep it hidden and look forward to the day that Karri can be free. Again thanks for all the advice!!