To Pic or Not To Pic

[Sara Jessica]

This thought has crossed my mind before as an idea for a thread and now that I've been called out on it in another thread, I guess it's time to put the question out there.

For those who post full pictures of themselves, do you look at the girls in this forum who choose not to post pictures differently? If so, please share your reasons why.

For those who choose not to or only post face-less shots, what is your behind the scenes story about why you have made this decision?

As for me, being married with children and a terrific career, I choose not to have my pictures flying about the internet. I do have a couple buried deep inside a folder on a friend's website but while things could always change, I don't see myself starting up a homepage or floating pictures of myself around here any time soon. Strangely, even though I'm likely virtually unrecognizable in girl mode, I feel more in control of my privacy when I go out in the mainstream world. So while I understand my street cred as a non-pic-poster might be questioned by some coming out of the gate, I hope that my words here in this forum convey truth and sincerity behind my ongoing tg journey.

[darla_g]

not at all its a personal matter,
I know at one point i was there too making that same decision

[stevie b]

Hi, I believe there are times when things move on, I am just starting to have photo's done, seems like another step. The risk of anyone in my circles seeing is small so the risk is very low. Also I know how I feel on the inside and its great to be able to see what I look like on the outside, some work still to be done early days.
I very much like to pic's of the other ladies.
xx:daydreaming:

[DeeDeeB]

The decision of whether or not to post pics is entirely personal. I don't judge anyone for their decision on that. I'm more interested in what the girls have to say than what they look like anyway. It's a big step just to be here interacting with other like minded people.

Dee :fairy1:

[valenstein]

It's not a big issue for me. Having said that, I would much rather see an avatar such as yours than see a shot of someone's legs, or a body shot with a face blurred out. When I'm chatting online, I would like to see one shot of their face (unless I've met them in person) for the simple reason that I remember them, but even that's not a strict rule.

[Carla4Guage]

I don’t have any negative feelings if someone chooses to not post a picture. I think the decision to post a picture or Avatar, be it “faceless”, full body or something else is a matter of self-confidence and the result of deciding the risk of discovery factor. For myself I have always felt that if my picture were recognized (I do feel that my fem appearance is VERY different from my male appearance) my question would be to the person asking is “What were you doing looking at CDs, do you have an interest to dress?”
The ones with the most confidence were those who posted both their fem and male pics to a recent question here. I’ll admit I wanted to, but somehow couldn’t.

[Angie G]

It's up to the individual if they wish to post full pics of themselves It not an easy thing for some of us to do and the choice we make to pist full pics should be reapcted by the rest of us. :hugs:
Angie

[joank]

I'm just technicaly challenged and do not have the expertise to post a picture. Even if I did, I'm limited for the forseable future to living in my head only. I see no problem with either approach. It's you choice.

[Bev06 GG]

I suppose when you think about it the chances of being recognised are pretty slim. I bumped into one of the girls who goes to our support group not so long ago. She was dressed in drab and I smiled and walked straight past her. I honestly did not recognise her in male mode. I suppose a wig and a bit of makeup make a hell of a difference.
I can understand someone not wanting to share a pic on here though because for some the risk of being discovered is way too much and the price too high.

I think the GGs take a bigger risk though because lets face it, I look exactly the same as my avatar and here I am announcing to everyone that my fella is a CD. To be honest I am past caring and if any of my friends or family had a problem with it then I am afraid for me it would be their problem and theirs alone. I think I am strong enough to stand up and be counted and I am certainly not ashamed of what he does, infact quite the opposite. I feel very privilidged to have a fella who goes against the grain and is unique in every way. It is in my opinion something to be very proud of and shows he's got character.
Take care
Bev

[frenchie]

Hi Sara Jessica,I agree it's a personal thing.Once I put my picture on I found it was like a weight had been lifted off me.My wife found this site for us after we both discovered our Hobby, together ( long story and oneday I'll start a thread about it if I've got the time),and she encouraged me to put a picture on.Whenever i dress we usually take some pictures.
I feel that I'm in a club here with people I can chat with and we all share something in common.But at the end of the day it's all down to the individual........Frenchie ......gina

[Tomara]

I have chosen to not post a picture of myself for several reasons , I live in a small town , own my own business , know way to many people from all walks of life , and mostly that I`m not even close to being passable and with that said there is a part of me that wishes that I was able to be even remotely passable and that I could be brave enough to not have to think about the consequences of being outed and the possibility of loosing some or all of what I have worked all of my life to have . I hope that someday society will be more accepting of all of the people who have different ideas of what is normal and just be ACCEPTING of who we are . :hugs: Tomara

[renee k]

I don’t have any negative feelings if someone chooses to not post a picture. I think the decision to post a picture or Avatar, be it “faceless”, full body or something else is a matter of self-confidence and the result of deciding the risk of discovery factor. For myself I have always felt that if my picture were recognized (I do feel that my fem appearance is VERY different from my male appearance) my question would be to the person asking is “What were you doing looking at CDs, do you have an interest to dress?”
The ones with the most confidence were those who posted both their fem and male pics to a recent question here. I’ll admit I wanted to, but somehow couldn’t.

My thoughts on this, echo Carla's and not wanting to jump in the pool with regards to the other thread, that generated this one. Everyone has a reason for what they put up as an avitar. Me personally, I like to see a face, or something that reflect that person's personality.

Huggs, Renee

[valenstein]

I say this as one of the people who still has a couple of toes in the closet, so this applies to me as well: Society will never accept us until more of us are willing to not be afraid. That may not happen until legislation is put through to protect gender identity.

A TS friend of mine has the habit of going up to anyone that gives her a questioning look, she'll start talking to them. Usually this is at a tolerant bar/restaurant..maybe it's cuz the patrons are a little tipsy (and she doesn't go up to a bunch of frat boys), but she makes nice with a lot of people. Small steps...

It's funny, I was in Starbuck's last week, and a kid with a bull ring in his nose looked down at my (painted) toenails and gave me a weird look. If all the "weirdos" got together and tolerated each other, the "normal" people would be the weird ones.

[tamarav]

I am probably one of the worst offenders for showing multiple pictures of the real me over and over again. The reason is that I am comfortable with my current life and most everyone on this planet already knows anyway.

As far as others that don't post their picture, why would any of us look badly toward such exclusions, we have or are still in the same boat and wish to maintain some semblance of privacy for our own sanity. Not too many years ago I used any number of varied user names simply to remain totally hidden.

A cute avatar is sometimes better than a real picture anyway, it really keeps people on their toes guessing the significance of the picture, or the cuteness factor.

How do you think most of us have the right to judge others anyway? I barely have the strength left to judge myself. Everybody eles is on their own.

To each his/her own, that applies in all things, pictures or not. Besides, it leaves more room for me to post my pictures....

Your sis,

Tami

[RobertaFermina]

Well, when I learn of your concern about how non-pic-posters, such as yourself, are assessed, I am learning that you feel there is a difference. What is your relative perception of pic-posters and non-pic-posters? You needn't reveal it here, but do reveal it to yourself. It may help you get value out of the responses that do appear.

The more I hear from and see about someone, the more they are present here. If someone doesn't post their picture, yet takes an active role in discussion, then I feel they are present. If they post their pictures but take a less active role in discussion, I feel they are less present. No picture, no interactivity, non-present!

If someone does post a picture, then I may have a reaction to their style, or progress. I have a soft spot in my heart for beginners who have the courage to post a picture - no matter what they look like - to get advice and validation. I absolutely HATE the girls I think are prettier than I am....but in a good way.

Do what you will, and thanks for being present in your own way !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Karren H]

My reason? Well I guess I'm just a photo-s1ut.... hahaha

[SherriePall]

No, I don't hold anything against those who don't post their pics. It's a matter of one's feeling comfortable enough to post pics of herself en femme. It took me a little while before I posted one, so I understand.
I will add that not having an actual photo keeps us guessing what she looks like. Something like listening to the radio or talking to someone you've never met on the telephone.

[JaymeCD]

I agree with everyone about it being a personal preference. Cross dressing for myself is just a fetish. None of my family or friends know, and I'd rather keep it that way. I like to share my fetish and talk about it whether it is on here, myspace or another cross dressing forum. For now, I'd rather keep my ugly face out of the pics I take. Since I don't have a wig or any makeup.

[RavenAndrea]

I agree with the comments above. I want to post some of my photos, unfortunately my computer internet is broken and I am accessing the WEB with my Sony LocationFreeTV which can't access photos stored on my PC. However, anyone wanting to view photos of me can view them on the following web sites under ravenandrea:

www.adultfriendfinders.com

www.alt.com

www.outpersonnals.com

www.myspace.com

www.collarme.com

[Mitch23]

As many have said it is a personal preference and I do not regard those who do not post piccies any differently. We are all on a personal journey and in different places. I have got to the stage now where most know I'm a tranny and don't care and I don't give a stuff either.

There is no way that anyone would suss my male identity from my avatar pics anyway

Mitch

[DonnaT]

I would never question why anyone doesn't want to post a picture, as it's none of my business.

I guess posting a pic made me feel more open and out of the closet. I'm not a bit worried about who might see them. They wouldn't recognize me anyway.

Heck, when my mother saw my pic, it took me a little bit to convince her it was me. :)

[deja true]

Well girls, as I was reading all these very similar answers, it sruck me tht I have a somewhat diferent reason not to post a pic, especially as an avatar...

I live in a very small isolated community, like out of the "civilized world". And I am the only dresser that I know of for sure for at least 400 miles in any direction...but...

As came up in a recent thread, there are a few other guys around here that I 'think' might be secret sisters as well... However, I really don't like either one of 'em enough to be a friend with them, so I'm not even gonna try to make contact concerning our little interest. We'll just remain nodding acquaintance guys who might suspect something about each other. (At least one of them has the world's champion gossip for a wife, too!)

Now..if they are dressers, then they too are all over the web like I used to be, lookin' for pics and stories about others like us. Heck,they might even be here! So I don't wanna show my face. I'm avoiding other CDs!

I prefer my privacy because of the all-to-real consequences of my being outted in this tight-knit, but very socially conservative community. I could not survive here for another couple of decades more as an "aberrant" person. Can you say "run outta town on a rail"?

I have already outted myself personally to one woman who I would trust with my life...But won't even do that to my sometime gf, 'cos she's a little indiscreet after a coupla glasses of Pinot Grigio, know what I mean?

Sorry about the length, but thought I need to 'splain sumpthin'!

[AmandaM]

I've taken photos of myself about 5 times in the last 6mos. so I can post one here. Everytime, I delete them. I'm never happy! Too fat, don't like my hair, etc., etc. That's why I decided to lose weight. So, if I can lose another 20 pounds, you'll see the real me!

[MJ]

like tamm most everyone on this planet already knows about me anyway. i don't mind if someone does not show an avatar . you can tell there sincerity in there writing case in point deja i enjoy reading her posts. it's ones comfort level that counts

[bobbie_1048]

The decision of whether or not to post pics is entirely personal. I don't judge anyone for their decision on that. I'm more interested in what the girls have to say than what they look like anyway. It's a big step just to be here interacting with other like minded people.

Dee :fairy1:

I'd have to say that DeeDee pretty well sums it up for me. :hugs: to all, bobbie

[Sally24]

It's a little easier to relate to someone you can see "face to face" (at least sort of). I don't think many of us have any problem with non-picture posters. Many are afraid of exposure which is natural, some of us are not so worried. If you're not comfortable with personal pictures then that is your right. You should be comfortable here in any form you choose to present yourself.

[Chiana]

When I started visiting here I felt that there was some not so subtle pressure to post pics. In fact at one point I stongly protested the subtle pressure in a thread. But I eventually did change my avatar to a pic of me. Not because I gave in, but because I finally got a pic that I was not ashamed of. I hope no one feels that they HAVE to post pics to be accepted here. I enjoy seeing pics of others. Probably everyone does. But if you don't want to post a pic for any reason, that is perfect. Don't do it.

[Celeste]

I really want a pic of my avatar to reflect something totally different than my male self as well.So I keep trying and hopefully I will come up with one I'm satisfied with.I put my test pics in my album and have a few in there right now.

[steftoday]

I don't have any recent pictures to post. Really. The last pictures I have of me was taken before there were digital cameras. They're old snapshots, and not very good ones.

I'm also still working my way back to having something decent to wear, and learning more about makeup. After having been here for a bit, and reading and learning, and yes, digesting photo after photo, It makes me realize my prior dressing attempts at a good look were pretty amateurish. So, I will try to perfect my craft first.

As for the folks that do post pictures here? I am humbled by their bravery to show themselves and their abilities, and constantly inspired by their pictures to do better.

I appreciate being shown the way...
stef

[Sara Jessica]

Wow, so many great replies!!! :) I'll comment on some of the points which were made.

Carla said the decision to post "is a matter of self-confidence and the result of deciding the risk of discovery factor." I agree but would have to change the and to and/or. Ask anyone who knows me in girl mode, I have 110% self-confidence so for me, it is all about the risk of discovery.

To Bev, you are so right, that GG's don't have the benefit of any disguise factor in their picture posting. However, I would contend that its a tiny bit less risky to be pegged as one who associates with the TG community over having to explain that one is a card carrying member. But whether one is a GG or TG, taking the step to post a picture is commendable.

Roberta asks me what my relative perception of pic-posters and non-pic-posters? Well the reason the question originally entered my mind is because here I am, a newbie, knowing I have much to offer based on my experiences and I sometimes I feel like my posts are thread-killers. This is likely because the topics were naturally running out of steam, newer and cuter threads inevitably replace the older ones. But I started thinking that maybe it was happening because I'm new or that I don't have any pictures. I'm thinking the former is the case, especially based on the replies here.

Donna talks about being unrecognizable in girl mode. Yeah, I think you're right about that but I think many of us still see our other face in the mirror trying to come through the hair and makeup, recongnizability which comes from spending more time in life with the guy mug rather than the girl.

And to circle back to Carla, anyone who might poke around TG sites would have some explaining to do about why they were there in the first place. That in and of itself SHOULD render the risk of recognition by someone you know to be extraordinarily low.

I do thank everyone for their terrific comments. And overall the resulting opinions are in line with what I expected to hear.

[Juanita O]

well now that i am retired and don't have to carry a security clearance on my job what difference does it make. My picture will improve but for now the one i have will have to do.

[Emily Anderson]

For me the reason I don't post any pictures is quite simple.

I very rarely do make-up (perhaps 2 or 3 times a year), and I'm not yet good enough at it to show any picture which I would consider good enough to be worthy of showing.

[Deidra Cowen]

I really don't judge people by their avatar...but! In my mind I tend to remember people by their avatar and maybe to a certain degree then their name.

So if I see a familar mug shot or cartoon over to the left I tend to know right away who that person is. Don't have to read their name...I do that at other forums that are not even CD related too and at those sites a real pic is very rare.

[Glenda]

It took me a long time to post a picture of myself. I wasn't really afraid, I just didn't own a digital camera. I finally purchased one and wanted to share what I look like. I think most of us like to associate a picture with a name but certainly understand reasons why some choose not to post their pics.

[Empress Lainie]

Bev and Sara don't be too sure about not being recognized.
In my case I just don't care anyway.

I don't care whether the poster has pics or not, I read and respond to the posts. I have been very pleasantly surprised to see two members whose avatars look like me very much, one in blonde and one in red hair.

I found to my surprise, that after my transition, when I looked like the total woman I am now, that people who knew me before still recognized me the first time they saw me female.

"You look different" was what I heard not only from a friend but also from my son.

Every sales person in stores that I knew well before recognized me immediately. In my own opinion I don't look anything like I did as male, but then as a male I wore wigs for 7 years before anyway.

[Alice B]

I have posted both full body shots and head only shots and my decisions are based upon how I feel in the clothing I'm wearing and how good a job on my make-up I've done. The only effect from others posts are to see how different clothing looks and to get ideas for myself. There are so many stunning women on this site that I have to realize that at my age I could never look like them. I want to share how I look because it is often my only way to expose myself and share that I love the chance to dress and express the female side of myself. As with all of us, when we post shots of ourself it is simple vanity, but that is OK and accepted by all. I am not afraid of being "discovered" by someone outside of this forum and am very secure here. I t has taken me a while to get to where I am and the journey continues as I grow my female personality. Life is short and I have to go for it.

[Sam-antha]

........................

For those who post full pictures of themselves, do you look at the girls in this forum who choose not to post pictures differently? If so, please share your reasons why.

A post is a post is a post.
However it is nicer to sort of know the appearance or at least the "presence" of the poster with a pic.

[quote=Sara Jessica;1374065.......

Strangely, even though I'm likely virtually unrecognizable in girl mode, I feel more in control of my privacy when I go out in the mainstream world. [/quote]

So true, but I doubt that it matters much in this "closed" forum.

Ok My present Avatar is hardly shaped like I am, but I do get fed up with my "real me" avatars and they change.
Being a photo **** -thank you Karren- there are plenty of different "mes" around this corner of the net world.
The "publishication" seems to dpend on the mood of the moment and the "quality ?" of the pic, ( or at least my memory of the event).
~Samm