PDA

View Full Version : How to have a wonderful "Outing"



TSchapes
07-25-2008, 09:05 PM
Life sure is weird. My mom just passed away and it has left a big hole in my heart. It was truly one of the lowest days of my life. But just today I had a wonderful life affirming experience. Please bare with me as I set up how this came about...

As some of you know I took a photography class this past 12 weeks at a local community college. This is a little different than what I'm used to because they use black & white film instead of digital. We did the developing, enlarging and matting of the photos.

A number of weeks back I had to present a portrait for my second project. You may have seen the Geisha shots I had done. Well I did some in black and white film, two rolls in fact. I was able to get one to look really good and presented it. The teacher loved the composition etc. and the students seemed to like the subject matter. The question came up as to who was the model. I told them it was a self-portrait. The class was stunned. They loved it and asked who did the makeup, again I said I did it and they were having a hard time believing that. It was a great experience and was very positive.

Well because my mom was sick, I missed two classes. I wrote my teacher and told him I might have to take an incomplete. He said I was doing really good and if I were just to turn in anything it would be OK.

So after my mom's funeral I went to work getting three related pictures done for my final. I had planned on doing a couple of different things, but now didn't have the time. So I went into my negatives and I was going to do a series of buildings from the local small town. Well, they just didn't turn out right and I was frustrated.

I remembered I had a whole roll of me as the rocker chick and actually had already printed two 8 X 10's as backups in case the Geisha didn't turn out. So instead of the buildings, I added another rocker chick photo, matted all three and turned them in during our last class tonight. I really didn't want to do this as it makes me look like a one note photographer.

In a class of about 20, my pictures were displayed last. Again they really liked the pictures, but then one of them said, "Hey wait a minute <Tracy's other name>, is that you again in the pictures?" The cat is now out of the bag!

I said yes those are pictures of me and yes, I am a cross-dresser. I thought I was going to hear silence, instead they were all very impressed that I had the forthrightness to come out to them and express this. The teacher was really nice, he stopped the class briefly to ask me if it was OK to talk about this being personal and all. I told them it was OK and that I believed that educating people about transgendered people was very important to me. I told the class they may ask me any questions they wanted. There were the ones you would expect, like are you gay, why do you feel you have to do it, etc. But all was done with great respect and was absolutely lovely. There were no negative comments what so ever. And so many of my classmates afterwards thanked me and told me how much they liked my photos. They said they would have liked them even if I weren't in them. That they felt the photos could stand one their own.

Wow, I was so moved by the acceptance the class had shown me. And I thought, there are now 20 more people that know a little bit more about us CDers, that we are real people and I believe they came away with a very positive experience!

Isn't life weird and wonderful? :love:

Love, Tracy
__________________

ArleneRaquel
07-25-2008, 09:45 PM
Great :)

RobertaFermina
07-25-2008, 10:31 PM
Looks like you you passed !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

vikki2020
07-25-2008, 11:32 PM
Yeah, makes you think,doesn't it? What would happen if [whoever] found out? I'd like to think we would have positive experiences like you did.Maybe not 100%, but most people.Sorry about your mom.

Sarah...
07-26-2008, 12:45 AM
Well done Tracy! That's such a positive thing to have come after a difficult time for you. Fantastic.

Sarah...

GINA-CD
07-26-2008, 01:03 AM
I feel sorry for your loss and happy for your outing experience.

So now it turns out that you're not just a good looking girl but a girl with a good eye! Could you share those pics with us? I love photography too and I'd like to see them. :coolphotos:

Jonianne
07-26-2008, 01:23 AM
Awesome!

Zenith
07-26-2008, 02:18 AM
Thank you for sharing. My condolences on your mom.

But is is so cool that you have a hobby you enjoy (photography) and that you got to take the class with 20 nice people.

:gh:

Ann D Bluebird
07-26-2008, 04:14 AM
My mom just passed away and it has left a big hole in my heart. It was truly one of the lowest days of my life.
:hugs:



But just today I had a wonderful life affirming experience.......etc


:Party2:

Fab Karen
07-26-2008, 04:23 AM
You looked past fear & chose not to turn in pics you didn't feel looked great. More importantly you didn't make up some story about the ones you turned in, you shared honestly and in doing that you did a favor for all of us.

Sandra
07-26-2008, 04:48 AM
Sorry to hear about your sad loss :hugs:


It must have took soem guts to do what you did and credit due to you for doing it. I'm glad it went well and you were given some to chat about cding, I hope some came away with a bit more knowledge about our community.

morgan51
07-26-2008, 06:14 AM
thankyou Tracy my condolences to you for your loss. Morgan

darla_g
07-26-2008, 07:27 AM
Tracy, you always manage to amaze me my friend.

Deidra Cowen
07-26-2008, 08:46 AM
I am sorry to hear about your mom, lord life sucks sometimes. Personally when I go home for Holidays I am struck by how many family members and friends from years gone by are no longer with us.

But I was impressed with your description of the Art Class, hey life does not suck all the time! You are making the best of things and I am impressed that you must be very artistic but also are a great example of a CD to regular people.

One of the best posts here in a while...again my condolences about your mom but I can tell you are going to be ok.

Chari
07-26-2008, 09:10 AM
Very sorry for the loss of your mom. Did she know about your CDing? In your moment of sadness, you have found strength in the comfort of new friends.

PhillyGuy2Girl
07-26-2008, 10:25 AM
Tracy,
So sorry to hear about your mom. Believe me, I know how it feels. My mom will be dead 6 years this October and I dad was dead 3 years this past March. I miss them both so very much but my supportive wife has been a big help. They didn't no about my CDing because I just started CDing this year.

Also,glad you had a great outing.

Felicity :)

Lora Olivia
07-26-2008, 10:28 AM
Tracy
Sorry on the loss of your mom, never again the same for us after they are gone :hugs:

As for the photography class and the service you have done for the whole TG community...GIRL you ROCK!!:D

TSchapes
07-26-2008, 10:48 AM
Very sorry for the loss of your mom. Did she know about your CDing? In your moment of sadness, you have found strength in the comfort of new friends.

Thanks ever so much from all of you! :hugs:

Chari both my mom and dad knew about my cross-dressing when I told them when I was around 30 years old. They were both very supportive and said they loved my no matter what. I miss them both.

Just about a month ago I was prepping my mom about me going to the SCC this fall. She said that was great and I showed her some recent pictures of Tracy and she said, "Wow, nice legs!" I said to her, "Well mom remember all those times people said I looked like you, well that includes your legs too!" That was the kind of relationship we had. :love:



Could you share those pics with us? I love photography too and I'd like to see them.

This is the Geisha I turned in previously. it is not matted:

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm4/TracySchapes/20080619-Geisha-Final-Print.jpg

Here's the three pictures in the order displayed, they are matted in white:

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm4/TracySchapes/Rocker-Chick-Final-1-small.jpg
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm4/TracySchapes/Rocker-Chick-Final-2-small.jpg
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm4/TracySchapes/Rocker-Chick-Final-3-small.jpg


For the technical folks: All pictures were taken with black & white Kodak Tri-X 400 ISO film. The Geisha was done with a standard three light set-up (key, fill and backdrop). In addition to that setup, the Rocker Chick I added a hard front flash for what's now called "Heroin Chic" lighting from the infamous Vogue magazine shoot of Kate Moss.

Shannen
07-26-2008, 11:29 AM
Tracey,

I'm sorry for your loss, but so happy to hear that you had such a wonderful close relationship with your mother.

The pics are great! I did b/w photography in college and it can be quite expressive! I think with all the digital shooting these days that a well thought out shot with proper lighting is actually getting more rare! Most of my shots posted here are done outdoors in the evening, when the light is at a good angle... but I could go on and on about photography... :heehee:

Very well done, the class could tell that the lense had captured something special!

:hugs:Shannen

Glenda
07-26-2008, 02:54 PM
I too, am sorry for your loss. I am so grateful that you have had such a wonderful outing. The world will not accept crossdressing until they become familiar with it. Having the courage to be yourself and receiving acceptance really makes it a little easier for all of us.

Shelly Preston
07-26-2008, 03:25 PM
Hi Tracy

Sorry about the loss of your mom :rose2:

I am sure she would be proud of your achievements and the fact that you took the time to educate other people on crossdressing :hugs:

Veronica 1
07-26-2008, 04:05 PM
Quote "For the technical folks: All pictures were taken with black & white Kodak Tri-X 400 ISO film. The Geisha was done with a standard three light set-up (key, fill and backdrop). In addition to that setup, the Rocker Chick I added a hard front flash for what's now called "Heroin Chic" lighting from the infamous Vogue magazine shoot of Kate Moss." Quote

Try exposing at 800 or 1600 ISO and push process the developing to get a grainier look to your pics. It helps to soften the look of the photo for a different expression.

So sorry about your Mom. :hugs:

Amy Hepker
07-26-2008, 04:14 PM
That is great and another step forward for all of us. The more we do like this and me coming out at work does help us all. If we can all come out in one way or another, the world will take notice and change with us.

I too am sorry about the loss of your mother, I lost my about 8 years ago and it was terrible for me.

heidi99
07-26-2008, 04:40 PM
That's an awesome story, Tracy! I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom.

victoriamwilliams1
07-26-2008, 09:35 PM
sorry about your loss as I have been there before, now for the rest! great story.

Slip Affinity
07-27-2008, 06:01 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a great relationship with your mom. As for your photog class, what a great outcome. I'm happy for you on that count.

scarlet
07-27-2008, 08:59 AM
So sorry to hear about your mother things just never quite seem the same after their gone.

As far as the photography goes from the pics you post here your a natural. Enjoy :hugs:

Sam-antha
08-01-2008, 02:32 PM
I have just caught up with your sad news, and I want to add my words about your Mum. I just do not know which is the worst time for you, now a bit after her death or at the time itself when shock is dulling things down.
Anyway I am sorry.
The pics, B/w are good to see...they represent a thing from the past...a technique when you could do so much with so little, a hand shadow across the lens. i used to think that the quality of exposure and pic make up was superior then to now. But with progress I am not so sure anymore.
~Samm

cdmindymi
08-01-2008, 03:11 PM
I too would like to express my sympathy at the lost of your mother. I can understand the hole in ones hart after loosing someone close to you.
As far as your photo class goes, you have touched my hart. Thank you for standing up and making things a little bit better for all of us tg’s. I fell like I am in your shadow, hiding while you stand tall and defend us. I hope someday I can do something like what you have done. Thanks again.

BethCD
08-01-2008, 04:09 PM
Tracy, sorry to hear about your Mom. Mine's been gone 14 yrs. It's still an intense emptiness...

Thank you for having the courage to be open with your class about your cd'ing. There are now 20 more people who have knowledge about how normal WE are.
God bless ya! :hugs:

Beth

pamela_a
08-01-2008, 04:47 PM
Tracy. I'm sorry for your loss. It's great you had a good relationship with your mom and I hope you have many wonderful memories to treasure.

Great job on the photography and standing up for all of us in your class. I love your work too, it looks great (and so do you)


Hugs.

-Paula-

RavenAndrea
08-01-2008, 05:04 PM
Sorry to hear about your loss - My sincere condolences. On another note, beautiful pictures and congratulations on coming out successfully.
Andrea:battingeyelashes: