How timid am I?

[Ann D Bluebird]

I'm attending a great music festival....great music, good weather, lots of people having fun and all kinds of people wearing what they want. So, why am I so terrified of wearing a skirt....a dress even? One collegue from work will be around tomorrow, but so far I've seen no one I know.

I am just SOOOOOOOO timid :bonk: :o

My theory is....for most at the festival/festivals in general people are away from home in a "liminal" space http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liminality where anything goes. But I've been coming away home each night, back to the reality where my skirts and dresses stay behind doors (or at least, out of public view :heehee:) and that "breaks the spell" for me and I stay mentally closeted.

Now I think I know what you'll say here....but any thoughts would be welcome.

[Bev06 GG]

Judith you need a soul mate. Someone to go with who will encourage you and help you to feel a tad more brave. Hell music festivals are a hoot and everyone dresses wacky you'de fit in whatever you wore. Enjoy it honey you only live once and see if there are any more CDs attending with whom you can join up and have a laught. I went to a fest a few years back and bumped into my Uncle who resembled moses without the hairy face. Gawd only knows where he got his tunic but he looked very in keeping with the guys he was with.
Take care
Bev

[Chari]

Have been going to a huge country music-art festival for many years where there are alot of handmade crafts for sale. Everyone wears whatever they want! Also have noticed an increase in CD attendance. While in my tight femme jeans, flowered print top, girl tennies, light makeup and jewelry, and carrying a small purse, I get a few looks, but no major problems. Smiling alot helps detour most unaccepting looks. I say "Go for it - wear what is comfortable, but not too attention grabbing"! Most of those people you will never see again. Have a great time!

[Ann D Bluebird]

:jumping:

:D:D:D

Thanks Bev and Chari: I didn't get to read your comments earlier as I took my own advice and "felt the fear and did it anyway..." :D

So I've got a story to tell .....but details later (out and about section!!)

Must get on elsewise for now though!!

[TommiTN]

:jumping:

:D:D:D

Thanks Bev and Chari: I didn't get to read your comments earlier as I took my own advice and "felt the fear and did it anyway..." :D

So I've got a story to tell .....but details later (out and about section!!)

Must get on elsewise for now though!!

Good on ya, Gurl!! I'm also terminally shy. I've been this way all my life, even in areas unrelated to CDing. Please tell us how it went ASAP! I and other shy gurls need some inspiration.

[Angie G]

I know how it fells hun. My wife told me the Bird feeder need food in it As I was dressed I thought of doing it dressed. But it's on the front porch so I copped out I think the next time I'm going for it. :hugs:
Angie

[CD Susan]

Judith, good for you! It's a great feeling isn't it? I am still a little timid as I just started going out two months ago. It does get easier each time and is so much fun!

[Ann D Bluebird]

Ok...so just some final comments on what I saw around me, while I fretted about this, then I shall tell my tale in "out and about" :)

I passed by several kilted men (its ok, I know they are "not skirts"!:heehee:)
which I knew would not raise any eyebrows......

I also saw some macho looking guys with "macho" looking skirts (can anybody give me some background about these?) Interesting, but not what I would want to wear...

On the first two evenings, at least, some young guys went out wearing dresses.... this appeared to be "Just for a laugh" and not a fashion choice they were wanting to live with "for real". But fair play to them for going for it anyhow!

And then there were others, with greater or lesser degrees of extrovertness, wearing skirts, tutus, butterfly wings or floaty skirts, and on one occasion at least a bearded man (not trying to pass so I'll stick with "man" and "he/his"), with a nice dress, a handbag ("purse"), fem sandals and earings. I would have said "hello" to him (he seemed to be on his own too) but he left before I had the opportunity. This last man-in-a-skirt and some possible passable MtoF gurls (well...maybe they were GG :strugglin, I didn't get a long time to look at them and wonder ) could all be (maybe are) members on this forum.
......
And so I kicked myself :kickbutt: for not even wearing fem pants (which I often have round and about) :brolleyes: whatever happened to "the courage of my convictions". With all that going on my fem wrist bracelets were OH! so feeble.

That's my self recrimination over, you may be pleased to learn. Nuff said, and thanks to all above for your comments :D

[sandra-leigh]

My theory is....for most at the festival/festivals in general people are away from home in a "liminal" space where anything goes.

Last week I went several times to the local Fringe Festival (second largest in North America, third largest in the world.) I couldn't always go there visibly dressed, but once there, most days I popped into a washroom and changed into skirt and added forms for a visible bust line, but with no make-up or wig -- gender-bending, as it is sometimes called. I didn't have any trouble with anyone. The plays themselves were inside, but the vendor and food area is outside, along with the outdoor stage that is the default area to congregate around while waiting for one's next chosen performance.

This Fringe Festival is centered in the heart of downtown here, and gets lots of people wandering through. And the audience is very mixed. Several of my co-workers are known to Fringe avidly -- I wasn't the only one to take a couple of days off work to attend. So there was a decided risk of Being Seen By Someone I Know. And I find that I don't really care much.

I don't know who Saw me; I did meet one acquaintance who does Tough Drag (he and his partner in crime are amazing that way!). And at one play at least, I saw an ex-colleague (had a job related to mine at a different organization); I was wearing a long skirt and top but had taken off my forms (it was a children-oriented event and I didn't want to be accidentally disruptive.) He might have seen my long denim skirt when I stood up to wave at him; I know he's seen me in a skirt before. And I think it might have been he that I saw at a play the next day, where I was wearing a blouse and forms and a long black and white skirt (that is, unquestionably a woman's skirt, not something that could be mistaken for or allowed for as jeans); as I was sitting, he might not have seen the skirt, but he probably would have been able to notice the projection of the forms. Incidentally, there was no problem with my wearing a skirt as a guy to the children-oriented play: in my experience, children are very accepting of seeing me wearing tasteful women's clothes.

As usual, the vendors treated me well, whether I was shopping for women's clothing or shopping for jewelry.

As I indicated, this wasn't in some "place apart", not in some park or fairground out of town where people could pretend to be anywhere and nowhere: this was downtown, about a 15 minute walk from where I work. But somehow when you are getting together to watch theatre that might be very bad or might be very good (or both, to different people), the bounds of every-day life are loosened, more of a feeling that everywhere around you there are Acts that don't have to be taken seriously.

[DonnaT]

I also saw some macho looking guys with "macho" looking skirts (can anybody give me some background about these?) Interesting, but not what I would want to wear...

Without seeing pictures of these skirts, they may be what are known as utlity kilts.

http://www.utilikilts.com/index.php?page_id=3

http://www.kiltmen.com/

[Ann D Bluebird]

what are known as utlity kilts.



Yep, those are they! :D